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No. 2486711
I just can't stand it anymore. I get so much pain from so many people in my life, it's just so fucking unbearable.
My mother, who I thought I could trust, got angry at me for questioning her beliefs, and told me we weren't going to be as close, and that she didn't care about me as much anymore, and that it's my fault that I don't have friends. And you know what? I'm convinced she's right. It's my fault I'm so damned uncomfortable with everything.
Usually when someone makes a thread about their life, they pump their heart and soul into it, and they come back with so much loving appraisal.
...I worked so hard on that thread... I put my soul and my tears and all the trust I could muster into it, only for it to be dead twice on the first day it was made. I'm just not as important as the others. I haven't suffered enough to earn love or significance, and I can't deal with any more pain anymore.
This pain is all because of my fucking insecurity; it's my fault. My life story is dead, my heart is broken, my mother doesn't care, my friends are all gone from me...
and I don't have the strength to go on anymore. I haven't felt this strongly about suicide for 10 years. I went out to skateboard, thinking I could clear my mind, but instead I spent that time stopping myself from hurdling my body into traffic. The only reason I wouldn't want to do that, is so that some poor fuck wouldn't have to scrape my flesh of the damned asphalt anyways. So here I am, on my last leg, and I don't even know what to do. I always thought that even suicide was a mercy I wasn't worth, but right now I'm thinking I might just indulge myself once and for all...

not that this fucking page will stay alive for an hour, anyways
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>> No. 2486713
Sometimes when you're wrapped up in your own world, your problems seem much bigger than they actually are.

Why not step out of yourself, as if you were someone else, and take a look at what your problems really are.

Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. When I was younger, I wanted to kill myself because this girl dumped me. Now I see how fucking stupid that was, and how grateful I am that I didn't do it.

I think you are doing the right thing by talking here, so let's keep talking, hm?
>> No. 2486714
this isn't temporary
all my life I've been fucking swept aside for everything else in the world
>> No. 2486716

Can I ask you what your age is?
>> No. 2486717
File 130671719872.gif - (388.64KB , 320x240 , 130610107606.gif )
It's your life, it is your choice. You can choose to say 'Hey, I'm done with life." And you know what? That is your choice.

Killing yourself IS a drastic decision, but think it over. You only have one life, suckish or not. After this, there may be nothing. Something is better than nothing.
>> No. 2486719
File 130671726209.png - (67.67KB , 200x141 , Really.png )
Do you really want me to tell you how well you have it? Do you want me to spill about how much MY life sucked? I will if you want me to. I just would like you to know, that the last two times I posted it, I left a good portion of the thread speechless, and the other half using me as an example to keeps others and themselves going.
>> No. 2486720
We love you, and are gonna help you through this.
>> No. 2486722
What Merlin said.
I agree with Rellic.
You should really think about it. Things go uphill from there.
>> No. 2486723
....fine, I get it
I'm just being a fucking attention whore
I'm sorry.
>> No. 2486724
I'll just go; I'm not fucking welcome here anymore
>> No. 2486726
File 130671749163.jpg - (28.54KB , 400x350 , spiderman explains 1.jpg )
Suicide goes through my mind everyday, but my reason for doing it is sort of a sadists reason I dont want my suffering to end just yet but not everyone can be good with a reason as such.

If you end your life, someone will miss you. At least one person will miss you. At least one person will shed tears and cry. But if you really think that there is no light at the end of this tunnel . . . But I would just give life one. more. chance.
Just one.
One more . . .
>> No. 2486728
I care very deeply about you. I don't want to see you go.

We all love you. Please, just talk to us.
>> No. 2486729
You cant really base things like this on the amount of traffic your thread gets.
I dont know how old you are or anything about your situation, but you probably dont have to put up with your mom for much longer. I would suggest either trying your damndest to get a ride into a fairly distant college, or doing everything in your power to start working and saving up cash so you can get out on your own.
As far as suicide I wouldnt do it in a messy way, or a way that made some innocent party accidentally kill me.
>> No. 2486730

Please just don't.

It won't solve anything. Life is too precious to throw away. I agree with Merlin, if one were to choose this path, that's it. You won't know if it worked out for the better or not. Please, stay with us.

>> No. 2486731
File 130671756943.png - (58.46KB , 249x226 , sad pinkie.png )
no youre not this is serious but dont do it cheese i love you :( well all miss you if you do it terribly
>> No. 2486732
File 130671757727.png - (129.62KB , 695x594 , 0-827.png )

A post like this does not make you an attention whore. Now, do it EVERY DAY and yeah, that's being an attention whore.

Life isn't supposed to be easy, for a lot of animals it's a daily fight to live. We really do have it easy, so just put that in perspective.
>> No. 2486733
I strongly suggest calling a suicide hotline number if you are serious about this. For now, just think of at least one thing you can really look forward to in your life (hint: ponies). Just keep remembering you have to at least stick around for season 2 for now.
>> No. 2486734

If you weren't welcome here people would just let this thread rot in the dust. Now pick yourself up and dust yourself off.
>> No. 2486735
File 130671766022.png - (75.20KB , 931x878 , 1302388525431.png )
I think cheese is just having one of 'those times' or something. It may be best just to leave him/her alone for a little bit . . .
>> No. 2486736
Cheese, are you KIDDING ME?!
You created the thread, you got so warm responses. From people who care.
Sure, not EVERYONE cares enough to read through a wall of text, there are dozens of users here, who read the board just for fun.
But you received support, why don't you want to see it? You can see that there are people around who want the best for you. Hell, even with one response it would be worth it.
I'm shaking again. Not sure if because of fear about you, or because of anger.
Open your eyes goddammit!
>> No. 2486737
File 130671775602.png - (121.06KB , 640x360 , twilight_sad.png )

I don't know what to say. I really don't.

We can't help you if you don't want to help yourself.
>> No. 2486738
File 130671775682.jpg - (39.55KB , 583x600 , 130438687468.jpg )
Wow, way to go you guys, way to chase away this guy who was at the end of his rope. What if he's really decided to end it after the last resort he took, seeking solace in Ponychan, where we are known for being kind... and you all shit on his thread. Good job, fuckers.

I know exactly what you're going through, OP. My mom is the same way. And I too have thought of suicide, but I was always too cowardly for it. My mom chased away my friends and hates my guts for the lifestyle I live.

You're not alone, and you must know she can't control you. You are your own person.
>> No. 2486739
File 130671775759.jpg - (73.81KB , 303x341 , Scratch.jpg )
I'm being serious here OP. I will post my entire life's story and show you how well you actually have it. All you have to do is say yes.
>> No. 2486740
Honestly, if you'd want, I'd be tempted to start an (online unless in NM) relationship with you.
>> No. 2486741
Damnit... I knew this would happen.

Cheese, I really worry about you all the time. I knew it would come to this, and somehow I couldn't stop it. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you as much as I should have. I'm sorry I neglected you. You deserve to live. You deserve to see all the wonders and joy and all the other crazy, amazing things you'll find in life. You're an incredible, smart guy. If you can just hold on... Just... Hold on tight, and bear the coming storm, it will be worth it.

And I don't agree with your mother at all. Even if it WAS your fault that you don't have any friends, you can fix it! You can!

The fact that you can accept your flaws makes you mature. Now all you need to do is be willing to fix them... Self-sufficiency isn't easy to attain, but trust me when I say this: It's worth it.

I believe in you, Cheese... Please don't go.
>> No. 2486742
yes, leave me alone
like they always fucking do
that will help

I don't know what to do... everything hurts so much, and I can't find any way out... I wish I wasn't such a selfish fucking mess, I wish I wasn't such an attention whore, but I can't fucking escape this pain.
>> No. 2486744
Wait there....
You're not an attention whore...
You're just typing what you suffer.
You're not selfish, either.
You just want better.
We love you man/ woman.
>> No. 2486745

calm down.


you're not an attention whore, your in pain. Please stop this and let us help you.
>> No. 2486746
I... I'm trying so fucking hard to deal with all this... I was so happy for the comments I got in that thread before, but... all this shit with my mother just ruined it for me, and made me into a fucking pessimist....
>> No. 2486747
File 130671802941.png - (23.58KB , 124x125 , 130549253509.png )
*hugs cheese*
Don't end it. I'm no expert on these things, but please don't end it. I don't know if I can change your mind, but there's a lot in life worth living for.

Are you still young, think about what you can do when you're older.

I don't know if you're a Christian, but when I started going to my church, someone told me "God has a plan for you". You may not know what it is, but it could come along in your life.

So think positively and who knows what the outcome may be. You may be sad now, but you may feel better later on in life.
>> No. 2486748
May I ask what beliefs of your mothers you questioned that caused her to lose it with you?
>> No. 2486749
File 130671807287.png - (196.67KB , 647x499 , 130549263207.png )

This thread isn't about YOU. This isn't about comparing our life stories to make OP's story seem like stubbing your toe. That is very belittling and upsetting. To OP, it's like he doesn't even matter. I know how he feels, and I know how I'd feel if someone like you started saying these things.

so kindly stfu.
>> No. 2486750

Wanna compare stories? I bet mine wins. I usually can't get through more than about 5% of it before people just start breaking down crying from the shock.

Besides it's therapeutic to talk about IMO.
>> No. 2486751
Your mother was wrong to treat you that way. I enjoy talking to you every night, and you're a kind and sweet person. We need more people like you in the world.
>> No. 2486752
File 130671817979.jpg - (28.54KB , 400x350 , spiderman explains 1.jpg )
>> No. 2486753

the stories aren't helping, we are trying to help him,not have a who had the worse life competition.
>> No. 2486754
It happens to the best of us. It's natural to be sad, or even depressed when someone so close to you demeans you like that...

Listen, I'll be- We'll be your shoulder to cry on. Just let us know what you're feeling inside... It will make you feel much better. Please, vent. I want to know what you're going through, so I can help you.

I really do consider you my friend, Cheese... I hope that's worth something to you.
>> No. 2486756
..I was gonna say the same thing but didn't know how to say it without being too mean

cheese, I've read your old threads and knew how you felt about your insecurities, your neediness, etc...I can't relate to your family problems but I can relate to your shortcomings.

Take care of yourself, bro, for us
>> No. 2486757
No offence but your mother is just plain wrong. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Does she know how much this means to you? Is there any way to tell her (without doing anything drastic... please)

I see and feel all the heart and soul here, you don't need to write an essay for that...

People here care about you, heck I care and I don't even know you as such, and if we, some randomers on the internet, care... people in real life most definitely will. It may not be obvious where it will come from, but they will.

Please learn to love yourself, this is the best way for others to love you too. You can always do this, you can always make things better for yourself... that can't happen if you're no longer there.

Hang in there.. stay strong... and when you are able to, move on and become independent. There IS light at the end of the tunnel. And from what I have heard of you, you are most certainly very much loved here.
>> No. 2486758
File 130671838637.jpg - (199.94KB , 900x798 , Twin moons.jpg )
Please talk a tiny bit...
>> No. 2486759

You can still live a happy life.
>> No. 2486760
Cheese dawg. It's rough, there isn't always an easy answer. The thing a lot of people don't want to say, is that it takes a lot of hard work to be happy. It's definitely worthwhile, but one of the reasons happiness seems so far out of reach when you are depressed is because when you are depressed it's hard to find the energy to work hard.

Hard =/= Impossible

Identify one thing that brings you depression, and work on it. You can only make friends if you leave the house; go to a church or some sort of social meetup. You don't have to know of one already. Poke your nose around http://www.meetup.com/ or something, there should be tons of groups in your area, pick one that seems to match your interests. I hooked up with a historical fencing group and a lesbian nerds group where I meet my current girlfriend. You don't have to know people to show up and see if you can't find a good time. And if you don't, you can always try a different group until you find a place that clicks.
>> No. 2486761
File 130671847297.jpg - (240.95KB , 1200x825 , Megamix Poster.jpg )
I didn't mean it like that Derpy. By giving out my life story to a few of the people that have thought about it here, I've shown them how messed up a persons life can be and why I wanted to stay alive instead of taking that route. I've gone through hell and back and almost died twice due to my father. It's not so much as, look at me look at me, as much as it is, look at how much my life sucked and tell me your not going to waste yours over this. I've already had to put up with a kid I've known for a good portion of my life killing himself when he had a perfectly good life earlier this month. I'm not going to let that crap happen easily.
>> No. 2486762
>We need more people like you in the world.

Truth. Cheese, as long as you're considerate and kind, you have no reason to disrespect yourself. Don't beat yourself up over failures- failing is a part of life, and it's something that ALL of us do.
>> No. 2486763
look... as far as I'm concerned, that thread I made isn't even part of the problem. It's just the by-product.
Throughout my life the person I've been with the most, been closest to was my own mother. I really thought I could trust her, and that she loved me unconditionally...
But she has a habit of forcing her beliefs on others, including me, and when I tried to defend myself against that, she went into extremist-defensive mode, and spouted off on how much of a dick I was, and how it was no wonder I didn't have any IRL friends, and that she was going to see to it that we would not be as close after that.
I lost the person I could honestly trust most in this world... The rest is just aftermath bullshit.
>> No. 2486764
And just so you know... the only reason I don't talk to you on Steam that much is because I feel like I might be too clingy of a friend sometimes...

I'm just not used to starting Steam chats... it feels like I'm intruding on other's personal space. I'll be willing to talk to you if you give me the O.K.
>> No. 2486765
File 130671860989.jpg - (114.12KB , 635x1080 , 130259919518.jpg )

And yet there's still people out there who genuinely care for you. Don't act impulsively in the heat of emotions, give yourself some time to sort things out in your head. Don't focus only on the negative aspects of your life, the people showing their concern and encouragement in this thread should be more than enough evidence that you have good things going on in your favor in spite of everything.

Only you have the power to turn things around for the better, and it's never too late to do so. You can talk to us man, you have our support. You are a person worthy of love and caring. Don't give up just yet, hang in there.
>> No. 2486766

She just needs to cool down.
>> No. 2486768
Any chance you could share more details about what your mother did cheese? You don't have to if you don't want to, but it could help a lot if you're open to discuss what exactly she said to you, and what beliefs you were arguing over.
>> No. 2486769

trap this guy in the moon, right now.
>> No. 2486770
Can I be the person you trust? At least temporarily? I know how uncomfortable such closeness could be for you... I'll understand if you decline.

I can't even say I can relate to you, because there's nobody I really trust that well, and I can't say I'm the most trustworthy guy, but dammit I'm gonna try to be there for you.

And if it's any consolation, your mother might take back what she said after she's had some time to think about it. It might take a while, but she will probably regret it. That's how it usually is.
>> No. 2486771
Your mother does care about you. I'm sure about it.
But she is a human too. Don't expect her to be perfect. Everyone has their flaws, remember that.
You didn't lost her. Don't ever say that. She will never abandon you.
>> No. 2486773
File 130671891772.png - (39.97KB , 201x150 , 130663150568.png )
love and tolerance guys, love and tolerance

Don;t listen to this cheese
>> No. 2486774
it's what she does. she calls me a sheep for not believing what she does. She says it's my fault when I get sick, because I won't take all her damned cure-alls. She's panicked me the fuck out all my life over the world falling apart and ending in some infinite despair and decay. The economy's going to collapse, california's going to sink into the fucking ocean.
maybe it doesn't seem like much, but try having this every goddamn day, and then be called an antagonistic little shit for trying to defend yourself against it.
>> No. 2486775
File 130671896598.png - (73.78KB , 500x500 , tumblr_lj7aquVE3j1qafrh6.png )

He considers you a friend, as do several other people in this thread. Looks like your mom was wrong again. In all honesty she sounds like an insecure bitch who took a real low blow, but I'm sure she'll come around soon. There's no need to take such a drastic turn to what will be water under the bridge within a matter of days.
>> No. 2486776
File 130671897275.jpg - (67.71KB , 600x600 , 130466759599.jpg )
Oh gosh, so much of your story reminds me of my life right now.

My mother chased away my friends, because one in the group was gay, and she tried to chase away my boyfriend because he is athiest.

She's racist, bigoted, an extremist bible-thumper, manipulative, and controlling. She's ruined my life for seven years now. She's said I don't have any friends because it's my fault. Which I can't figure out how it is my fault. I've only stood up for myself, but that pisses her off.

The advice I was given (and that I'm working on) and the advice I will give to you is become your own man. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you are over 18 you can possibly make enough money to move out. Get out from under her thumb, and when you're free from that, you can make friends with whoever you want, without any retribution.

This will release her from controlling you, and though she might go out kicking and screaming, it's really for your benefit.
>> No. 2486777
Fuck you, fuck you with every fiber of your being.
This is not a thing you should joke about.
But who the fuck am i even talking with.
>> No. 2486778
File 130671904397.png - (56.02KB , 215x190 , SpikeAww.png )
There are people who do care about you, cheese.

All you have to do to see it is look at this thread. Just please don't go and do it.
>> No. 2486779
File 130671905967.gif - (385.39KB , 210x120 , crying.gif )
youre so right man this place is supposed to be nice and all of a sudden a bunch of people are assholes! why tho? it doesnt make sense...
>> No. 2486780
I can't say for certain if your mother really loves you or not. Others may say a mother will always love their child, but I know first hand that's a boldfaced lie.

However, know this, and know this clearly.

If your mom does not love you, it is HER mental illness, and her problem that distorts her way of thinking. Nothing you have or ever will do will be deserving of anything less than pure concentrated love from everybody around you. Whether you do good things, or bad things, no person deserves to be hated. It's our role in life to love others unconditionally, instead of contribute to the hate, knowing that it simply is not worth it.
>> No. 2486781
File 130671917847.jpg - (49.78KB , 463x600 , love.jpg )
what did he say? i cant see it
>> No. 2486782

He said "Do it"
>> No. 2486783
He was probably just paraspriting.
>> No. 2486784
It doesn't matter now. The post is gone. Just an anon parasprite.

Thank god for emergency pack of cigarettes, I can think a bit clearer again.
>> No. 2486785
File 130671930058.png - (126.15KB , 386x414 , twilight.png )
>> No. 2486786
Duh, but it doesn't make it any less completely inappropriate. There's a time and a place for paraspriting, and this isn't it.
>> No. 2486787
File 130671931005.png - (334.93KB , 1107x1504 , 130611855313.png )
Basically this OP.
If for some reason you can't get away from her, you still need to stop her control on you mentally. I dealt with it by not caring what my parents said to me that wasn't kind and considerate (which almost never happened anyways). Once you stop caring about the negative, all you'll hear is the positive.
>> No. 2486788
I can't say anything for sure, but let me offer some advice from the other perspective; your mother is flawed and possibly like Derpy's, but she is your mother, after all. If you can, reconcile with her, try to fix your problems. And if you do move out, don't forget about her. My teacher is gay and said that it took him a long time to get a good relationship with his mother, but he did it, eventually
>> No. 2486789
File 130671945890.png - (144.13KB , 505x388 , SmokeBreak.png )
Listen, son. I don't know if you know me, I'm usually patrolling around /oat/, but I saw this thread and it made me truly worried about you.

Life is hard. This old soldier isn't going to sugar coat it for you because that isn't what you need to hear right now. Life is hard, and it's not going to get any easier. But that is no reason you need to lay down your gun and hide from everything. Taking your own life isn't going to help anyone soldier; not you, not your mother, not anyone else.

Life is what you make it. Life is what you perceive it to be. Life might look bleak and you may feel you are slowly loosing control but in the end that's not true. Life can be beautiful, but in order for it to bloom you need to go through the hard times first. If you give up during the hard times you will never even get to try to enjoy the beautiful times.

Every soldier goes though times of doubt. Some more than others. But if you let that doubt seep through your mind it may reach so far in that you won't be able to get rid of it. Don't let that happen. Don't think about the wrongs in the past when you can think about what you can do to change things in your future. Every soldier has the power to change his own life. It's always up to you. But if you have a constant negative outlook on yourself and on your life there will be no chance to change it. If you accept that your life is controlled by the world and others around you, then it will be. Don't let it be.

Only you can change that. It will take time, and it will take work. But there can't be certainty without doubt. There can't be love without hate. There can't be joy without sadness. And there can't be good times without bad times. These times will pass, but only if you take charge of it.

Don't loose what potential you have. Make it into something.

That is all, soldier.
>> No. 2486790
She sounds like she might have some problems of her own.

Also, she might still be mad tomorrow and maybe a bit after that, but I think she'll come around eventually. Here's the thing, when you follow orders for too long, people get expectations. My brother bossed me around all my life until recently, and he got furious when I wouldn't bring him ice for his cup. He punched me for it, while screaming and kicking and yelling. I just kept ignoring his fits until he finally got the message. Now he doesn't ask me for anything anymore.

Maybe your mother is used to you following her beliefs. It's just the way the mind works. She could get mad and throw a fit, but eventually she might get the message.
>> No. 2486791
...I'm trying very, very hard to see that people care... I know it must seem ridiculous at this point that I have issues with this, but it's really hard... I just lost the trust of the single closest person to me in my entire life, and I don't think I could ever repair that...

and if it matters, I put the box-cutters I was going to use away...
>> No. 2486792

This guy is pretty beast, I would take his advice.
>> No. 2486793
File 130671963559.png - (911.26KB , 1009x574 , 130327791468.png )
Well, here's a good example. That parasprite was trying to make everyone feel as bad as they feel. That's what all those bullies do. Whether it be a big mean kid in school, a snide-talking coworker, a verbally-abusive parent, anybody.

Honestly, if your mother is knocking you down because you're standing up for herself is because SHE feels bad about herself. Something in her life is going wrong and she feels she is not in control of some or all aspects of her life anymore, so she uses a scapegoat to blame/control for it.

After many years of observing and being a victim of my moms verbal, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse, I've noticed this trend and it actually helps me when she flips her shit at me. Because I know she feels bad and she wants me to feel as bad as her.

But you know what? I don't let her. I be kind to her even if she's screaming at me, Ponychan-style.

You know how us bronies are, if there's a parasprite paraspriting, we kill 'em with kindness. That's why we don't get paraspriteed hard at all. :3 Keep this in mind.
>> No. 2486794
I dealt with it by making it sorta my mission to fix my parents. I realized they were mentally ill, and made it a side task to try and fix them, and be patient with them, understanding that they are sick in the head, and not holding a grudge against them for the horrific crimes they committed against me. They are just unenlightened. Blinded by their hatred and their religion and their ignorance, and committed great atrocities because of their ignorance. I may not be a Christian anymore, but I still feel the line "Forgive them, they know not what they do" seems quite accurate for my attitude towards them.
>> No. 2486795
File 130671966379.gif - (897.43KB , 480x360 , Amazing-Awesome-Face-Teary-Eyed-Kane-Clap.gif )
That was just...amazing
>> No. 2486796

Oooo, gotta love the people who live up to the fun in fundies. Pity those people; they were brainwashed by their parents to be such ignorant little fools living in their bubbles (who were most likely in turn brainwashed by their parents and so on). The fact that you and the OP were able to escape their brainwashing nonsense is proof enough that you are very strong individuals who have a lot to add to this world.
>> No. 2486797
It isn't ridiculous, and it does matter.

Well, you can try to repair it. If you tried your hardest and it doesn't work, there are tons of other great people out there that you can trust. Don't give up, my friend.
>> No. 2486798

Ridiculous? Of course not! Strong negativity from parents is something that nopony can brush off easily.

I'm a big fan of posts

>>2486774 and

People aren't expecting you to get up and party right now, and parents can make all of us miserable. But there's more to life than what you can see right now, and it's not out of your grasp.
>> No. 2486799
I like this guy. I'd type something out.. but it will probably end up looking like a 12 year old's version of this.

I'd take his advice.
>> No. 2486800

Please don't kill yourself. It's not worth it.

Please just try to make it through, please. I don't want you to die. Please.
>> No. 2486801
I know she was wrong for the things she said to me. I know she's insecure about herself, and says really mean, unfair things to us, and I know it isn't fair how she treats me.
The only thing that hurts now is that I can't trust her anymore... And I was previously able to trust her with all my heart
>> No. 2486802
you invest waaaay too much into a website. this place is great, but honestly, you can throw away your life just because you don't feel important.

make a life for yourself, man. not only will you enjoy your life more, because it's something YOU made, but you'll see that there's a lot to live for, man.

and anyways, it looks like you have a lot of people here that do care for you.

suicide ain't the way, buddy. get out there and live.
>> No. 2486803
File 130672006946.png - (78.26KB , 314x248 , Twilight - Long face.png )
Don't do that. Seriously. I've considered it, but I've always changed my mind when thinking it over. And it's not something you can regret once it's done. Don't.

I'm not good at this speech stuff, so...

This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see this side reflected
And if there's something wrong who would have guessed it?
And I have left alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew won't come back
The time we've lost can't get back
The life we had won't be ours again

This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late
It's never too late

Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late
It's never too late
It's not too late, it's never too late

>> No. 2486804

Don't think that, of course you can trust her.

Just because you might have to think about some things before trusting them doesn't mean you can't trust her at all.
>> No. 2486805
I don't want to make wrong assumptions as I did yesterday, so I will not talk about that unless you provide us with details. But re-think it. I must say it is very unlikely that you cannot trust her anymore.
>> No. 2486806
File 130672011740.png - (275.49KB , 1280x720 , _sadaj1.png )
Please don't... I've got nothing amazing or inspirational or anything to post, and I wish I did, but please don't kill yourself
>> No. 2486807
File 130672015867.jpg - (208.54KB , 1791x1192 , Scratch Beat.jpg )
Yet another awesome speech from The Soldier. I'm going to put up what I wrote for Star in his thread.


What I'm trying to get across, is that while your life sucks now, it can, and will get better. I've gone through the massive rut of hell myself OP, but in the end, how does hurting yourself help anybody?
>> No. 2486808
...I'm really afraid to talk to her about this... I've been bunkered down here in my room all day, besides when I skated down to the beach, afraid that she's just going to yell at me again...
at any rate, I don't feel suicidal anymore, but I'm still just so damned shocked by her not loving me as much because of this...
>> No. 2486809
People change... That's one thing most people learn the hard way.

But the good thing about that is that people can also change for the better. Most of us are living proof of that. Who knows... you might join us.
>> No. 2486810

I haven't been able to trust anybody since I was 12 when I told my brother my biggest secret, that I knew I was a woman, what I had just discovered was called a transsexual, and that I needed help. And he rewarded my trust in him by raping me repeatedly, often several times a week, for 6 years, to try and discourage me from going through with my sex change.
>> No. 2486811
File 130672029083.jpg - (2.47KB , 99x100 , pinkie hug.jpg )
cheese, don't think you aren't a valued member of this community, because you are. I have created many threads on Ponychan, probably 75% of them die with fewer than 5 responses. Hell, today, I posted a thread about how I was going to be gone for a few days (plans changed, had more access to a computer than I thought), so I wanted people to post stuff to look at when I got back. I got a grand total of 4 responses. But in spite of that, I still feel loved here, and you should too. People here do care about, no matter what you think.

As for your mother, fights come with the territory. Back when I was in high school, I had several blow-ups with my mother, but every time we eventually reconciled. I still have fights with her to this day, but I know she still loves me even when she is PISSED at me, and I'm sure your mother feels the same way. Give it some time.

Last thing, whatever you're feeling now, however shitty or unloved you feel, things always get better. And furthermore, there is no distinction between "IRL" friends and friends on the internet. Friends are friends, and they will always be there for you regardless of whether you have ever seen them in person.

We all love you, and that's as sincere as it fucking comes, so don't do it. If you need somepony to talk to or just somepony to listen, I'm here for you
>pic related, it's a hug, and the fact that it isn't tangible doesn't make it any less real
>> No. 2486812
All I can say is love and tolerate her until she loves you back, if she does
>> No. 2486813
It was probably just a fit. She probably still loves you, Cheese. It doesn't have to be today if you really don't want to, but talking about it is a good idea.
>> No. 2486814
File 130672032951.png - (108.28KB , 945x945 , 1298947205716.png )
I know how much betrayal hurts.
What you have to think about is that may have been a spur of the moment thing and she just had to vent.
Regardless, aside from the occasional parasprite, know that you can trust us here.
We care about you, i'm glad you're not thinking about ending it anymroe.
>> No. 2486815
Sorry, but song lyrics always help me.

You say you feel so down
Every time I turn around
And you say you should've been gone by now
And you, you think that everything's wrong
You ask me how to carry on
We'll make it through another day just hold on.

Cause life starts now.
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow
And you're so far down
But you will survive it somehow because life starts now.

I hate to see you fall down
I'll pick you up off of the ground
I've watched the weight of your world come down
And now it's your chance to move on
Change the way you've lived for so long
You find the strength you've had inside all along.

Cause life starts now.
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down
But you will survive it somehow because life starts now.

All this pain
Take this life and make it yours.
All this hate take your heart and let it love again.
You will survive it somehow.

Life starts now.
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down.
Life starts now.
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down.
Life starts now.

>> No. 2486816
I'd like to say i know what your going through , but i cant. However i have had someone close to me take thier own life. Suicide is not the answer, what a waste of life , yes you feel like shit right now, and i cant garuntee things will be ok but... If your relationship with your mother is not past the point of no return , then you dont give up. For all you know, things may get better, even if it takes time , a lot of time. Hell, your life may eventually turn out to be awesome later in life. Giving up is pointless.

Suck it up and find the will to go on and fix this. Right now i'll assume you are running on emotion writing this , u need to calm your self down. The world isnt against you , this thread can attest that.
>> No. 2486817
File 130672039551.png - (142.25KB , 700x700 , 130507403594.png )
a quote from one of my favorite movies is relevant.

" In life, the sweet isn't as sweet without the bitter"

OP I've been where you are mentally. Life can really knock you on your flank. But picking yourself up is worth it. The sweet won't be as sweet without the bitter and if you're feeling this bitter your life can only get sweeter.

Here's a brony-hug. You and I are strangers, but I still care about you and so does everyone else here. A human life is precious and there are so many opportunities and possibilities you can look forward to. Don't close the door without opening another.

Honestly, the best thing to do when you're feeling like this is to sleep it off, even if for just a few hours. You will have a different perspective when you wake up and you will probably even feel better.


A Bi-Polar Brony who knows what you're going through.
>> No. 2486818
>I don't feel suicidal anymore

This makes me happy. Though if beliefs are differences between you and your mom, what are they and how are they different.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom treating you like this. :(
>> No. 2486819
File 130672040838.gif - (28.03KB , 360x360 , 130635039536.gif )

every little ting, is gonna be all right~

c'mon man, the first step is the hardest.
once you get past that and try, it gets so much better.

believe me, i have so many failed suicide attempts under my belt, then i started making friends and got a bit insecure about it, then i found ponies and now i tend to cast it out of my mind.

it may be a bit of an uphill struggle, but it gets better. it really does.
>> No. 2486820
File 130672041160.png - (19.19KB , 1350x561 , 130584658867.png )
I'll just drop this image here.
Hopefully it'll make OP put things in perspective.
Suicide is never the answer.
>> No. 2486821
File 130672044141.gif - (232.28KB , 280x280 , Fluttershy WHOAMAN.gif )
>I put my soul and my tears and all the trust I could muster into it, only for it to be dead twice on the first day it was made.

An obvious change from past Ponychan and now.
It's normal now I guess, with the amount of traffic we have now.

>tl;dr: Welcome to Ponychan.
>> No. 2486822
File 130672045292.png - (286.39KB , 640x732 , 130605630645.png )
write it up while talking about it to friend on steam so it took a while, then i see this. good for you man!
>> No. 2486823
Talking about it with her, I mean.
>> No. 2486824
*hugs tight*

I'm glad you aren't feeling suicidal anymore.

It's okay to feel suicidal sometimes, I think everyone does. And sometimes, those feelings continue, but you're a bright and brilliant person, look forward and realize that even though the path is shroud in fog, and even though you cannot see your destination, you know the road is still there, and as long as you keep walking, you will get there eventually.

The only losing option is to sit down and give up.
>> No. 2486825
File 130672055317.png - (53.55KB , 222x197 , eyebrow.png )
>mfw I was late with the picture either way
>> No. 2486826
.. hmm, kind of mean.. but it makes alot of sense.
>> No. 2486827
File 130672059376.png - (94.79KB , 500x520 , applejacklickdash.png )
Life is hard, and it can be cruel, but that makes us strong. When we are down, we get back up.

I can tell you, life gets better even in its bleakest moments. Just remember that you are still alive, and that means that you can change, you can grow, and you can prosper.

Life is beautiful, and hardship and hellish times only make the good ones seem even better.

Never give up, never surrender to dispair, for when there is life, there is always hope!

I love you, even though i don't know you, or met you, i love you.

you know why? because you are a living breathing person, with emotions, thoughts and feelings, that can experience joy and suffer pain.

I love you, and ponychan loves you. Never think that we do not. *hugs greatly*
>> No. 2486828
Don't throw your life away, without it you have nothing at all.
>> No. 2486829
Just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere

A singer in a smoky room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Paying anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on


Don't stop believing
Hold on to that feeling
Streetlight people
>> No. 2486830
...I'm so sorry that I may not seem thankful or appreciative of what I have...
I don't think I would be alive right now if I didn't have this thread, I really don't... I'm starting to feel like I can trust a little bit, but it's still really hard to do, and all my past friendships have been far from assuring...
I hope that I'm worth sticking around for, but for now, I'm just trying to fix this mess with my mother...
thanks everyone...
>> No. 2486831
Do you wanna talk about this? If you want, we can make another thread..
>> No. 2486832
You know what, OP? No, you're not going to kill yourself.

And do you know why you aren't going to kill yourself?

You are not going to kill yourself because you are fucking amazing. In fact, you are the best person in the world.

You may be wondering why I am saying this. I am not saying this because of anything you've done. You are amazing for one very simple reason: You are ALIVE.

Everyone in the world who's been around for a while has been through this kind of thing. It might not be the exact same, but we've all been through our share of hardships. And yet, we're still here.

You've suffered before. You're suffering now. And yes, you will continue to suffer in the world. But you're still here, and you will continue to be alive for whatever happens in the future. That is why you are fucking amazing, and that is why you are a part of the 6.7-million-way tie for the best person in the world.

It is up to you to improve your life, and you can't do that if you're a corpse. Pick your flank up off the ground, stop being stupid, and go do something to better yourself. I think you could probably start by getting off the computer for a while. I don't know how old you are, but go to whatever sort of place people of your age gather to and try and meet people. Make some friends. Anyone can do it, especially the best person in the world.
>> No. 2486833
File 130672068289.png - (261.03KB , 600x605 , 130385855394.png )
>> No. 2486834
It's not good to try and fix or change someone else. You can't change people, they have to change themselves. The best you can do is not let yourself be sucked into their pit of despair.

This may seem like an odd suggestion, but I think going to a local Al-Anon group would really benefit you. No, it's not the same as Alcoholics Anonymous, it's for those who have experienced the personality traits of one, and it helps you learn that you have control of YOUR life and your life shouldn't be dedicated to fixing others. I've been there, and done that.
>> No. 2486835

That's... strangely beautiful.
>> No. 2486836
File 130672076789.jpg - (79.43KB , 945x945 , 130116932869.jpg )
It's okay man, we're all here for you
>> No. 2486837
File 130672078561.png - (56.25KB , 319x274 , 130041775773.png )
Of course you're worth it.
I hope you patch things up with your mother.
Remember, we're here if you need us.
>> No. 2486838
File 130672080073.jpg - (28.83KB , 426x404 , you are my number one___ but i'm nothing for .jpg )

Pleaso, no. Suicide is a permanent solution for temporal problems. I know, I have been like you some years ago.
I really, really, want to help you. Can I talk with you in private?
>> No. 2486839
Listen to this man, as he speaks words of truth.
It's hard too be disapointed by someone who you trusted your whole life, but probably she was overreacting. Since we don't know more about you cheese it's hard to tell, but heck it is the right thing to write about your problems, even if it is just on the internet. Botteling everything up just leads to these dark thoughts. Be certain of that the people here do care as good as they can. I wish I could tell you more or what to do but I was never good at this.
>> No. 2486840
File 130672081230.jpg - (48.29KB , 482x409 , cat lol.jpg )
Cheese, i want you to hear something that i learned here in ponychan, that i will always keep and treasure it to myself..

Something that all the bronies teached me, and now, i have the chance to do the same to you.
>> No. 2486841
File 130672081359.png - (24.65KB , 962x494 , All of this love.png )
>> No. 2486842
File 130672082920.png - (66.95KB , 444x499 , 1300436115233.png )
I'm kind of jealous of you two. At least you two had someone to care about you. My parents only cared how well I made them look or how much money they could get if something happened to me.

I'm going to have to remember that quote. That is some harsh truth.

Also, prepare to be loved. I got you listed in The Daily /oat/ so expect some company once it goes up.

Pic Related OP, it's you keeping on keeping on.
>> No. 2486843

Glad this site could help.

I'm so happy you're still here, we don't want you gone.

Good luck, I hope everything works out. Just try to be nice, and try to love her no matter what.
>> No. 2486844

N'aw, I'm cool. It's a long time behind me. Like I said, that as a combined event, only counts for about 5% of the bad things that have happened to me in life. As horrible as it is, I'm pretty numb to bad things that happened in my life now. I'm trying to move on and be successful. I've learned by now that my scars are way too deep to ever heal, but hey I have people who care surrounding me now and for the rest of my life.

It's sorta like goatse or some other shock images. They freak you out the first time you see them, and the tenth. Then eventually you shrug and go on your way. Apathy, hardening. It's all good. Helps you get through the day.
>> No. 2486845
File 130672091245.png - (50.66KB , 173x207 , sidehappysmall.png )
I would have never expected that from some anon in 4chan or wherever that is.
And I know it's a bit of tough-love, but sometimes that's what we need to get back to our senses.
>> No. 2486846
File 130672093837.jpg - (30.11KB , 366x320 , 130644308839.jpg )

Oh, uh... *ahem*, good! I'm glad you feel a bit better. And don't feel bad about being ungrateful, just... be grateful! Learn from your mistakes, don't beat yourself up for having them.

So... I guess now is as good a time as ever to apologize for how intrusive I was a couple nights ago on Steam. I'll respect your situation more next time, and I'll try to be less pushy on ya, okay? I'll talk to you more too, if you think it's okay. I'm always afraid of being too clingy with my friends, so I don't tend to start talks with them.
>> No. 2486847
File 130672094639.jpg - (29.28KB , 454x345 , 1297456729663.jpg )
The great thing about suicide is it's not something you have to do now or miss your chance, you can always do it later.

Why not just give your life a chance to get better?

You are important. If you ended your life I promise you people would miss you. Even here we would feel it.

Nobody really WANTS to die, they only want a feeling of relief from whatever is bothering them. Well guess what, if you die, you don't get a feeling of relief. You get nothing.

I'm sorry you feel so depressed, I know what it's like. I've contemplated suicide before too, but I'm glad now that I never went through with it.

We're here for you, man. We're here to listen to you and help you get through this. Nobody is going to think any less of you for it, either.
>> No. 2486848
That's the truth. There is no point in killing yourself. None at all. I'm no good at this kind of thing, so I'll just say: You should consider changing things as they are right now for the better instead. If you can change things, grab life by the horns, wouldn't that be better?

Like I said, I'm not good at topics like these. I have no idea if what I'm saying makes any sense to anyone but myself, so I'll just put it out there.
>> No. 2486849
File 130672101006.png - (192.25KB , 900x882 , 130438878879.png )
I'm.. Not very good at these things. But I'm glad you're getting better. I hope everything gets better. They always do.
>> No. 2486850
We'll be always here for you Cheese.
And never doubt that you're worth it.
You're our brother. We'll never abandon you.
>> No. 2486851
File 130672103493.png - (20.57KB , 125x95 , 130394586702s.png )
>mfw you express hope

Way to go, cheese. Never stop fighting for a healthy life.
>> No. 2486852
File 130672105362.jpg - (29.48KB , 577x347 , bronies catch.jpg )
Mothers, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. She will eventually accept that you are a separate person with your own beliefs. If you said anything harsh to her apologize, but tell her respectfully that you have your own beliefs, and her trying to make you believe what she believes won't change that. Eventually, the two of you will reconcile, it might be a little awkward at first, but it will get better with time. In my experience, in all but the most neglectful households, a mother's love is unconditional.

It's great to know you have stepped back from the ledge, so to speak. If you're ever in crisis again, or just need to talk, we're here for you
>> No. 2486853

Cheese ... please read my wall of text ... please?

You are a brony. You are a friend, even though I don't know you very well. I've always said that new bronies are old friends we haven't met yet. So, old friend, please let me share a few things with you.

I love you. I care about you. I don't want you to die.

You are part of us, part of the herd, part of the community -- without you, we would be diminished because, truly, none of us are as loving as all of us.

It is awful to see someone I care about in such pain. And trust me, I understand the pain. I believe you, I believe how much you have been hurt -- and how much you must be hurting. I believe in your sorrow. And (having been in that terrible place you find yourself mentally) I know that it is something worse than can be properly put into words. To know you are feeling this badly makes me want to give you a hug ... even though all I can do is touch my monitor and try to will one to you through this connection of words.

Know that I am doing just that. Right now.

I'm not a mental health professional or a therapist, just a friend, and someone else who knows what it's like to be in more emotional and mental pain than I can handle. So please, friend, would you read the rest of my response? It won't take that long -- not even five minutes. I just want to try to pass along some advice: one statement and five things to think about.

First: the statement:

Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Likewise, of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. A suicidal state is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1. You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope. Hope is important.

2. Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for a minute or two, just by reading this posting. You can do it for another few minutes by continuing to read this posting. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. When these pointers were shared with me, I found them encouraging, and I hope it is encouraging to you too.

3. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain whether physical, mental, or emotional. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you kinda have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Please. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

* Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans: [email protected]

* In the US call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TTY:1-800-799-4TTY)

* In Australia, call Lifeline Australia at telephone: 13 11 14

* If you are a teenager, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999

* Look in the front of your phone book (or Google) for a crisis line.

* Call a psychotherapist.

* Carefully choose a friend, someone who is likely to listen, the bronies are good for that. Call them.

But please, my friend, don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

5. Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet. I know I sometimes get bouts of post traumatic stress from remembering those times in my life when I've been suicidal.

The best coping resource I can recommend is to find someone to talk to ... so please, talk to someone you trust! Let them ... let us ... help you!

Your friend,

>> No. 2486854
File 130672108578.jpg - (137.71KB , 776x664 , inhales.jpg )
The first time that i did the same that you're doing now, what is the most normal thing that anyone could ever do, i was feeling really depressed, i did even tough that die was the best option..

want to know why?

because i had cancer in my lungs, its fairly rare, like 10% of all population develops it.. and it happened with me.
You can say that music moves my world. Rock, pop, techno, funk, jazz, samba, j-rock, j-pop, country, every kind of music is very dear and special to me.. and with the cancer, i had two options..

Opperate it or die slowly.
At first, i got sad, really sad, because the doctor almost gave me sure that i would lost my voice forever, because of the surgery..
I got so depressed that i locked up myself in my room for 4 days..
>> No. 2486855
File 130672110168.png - (101.06KB , 364x310 , 130644141754.png )
Hi, Bronypeanut! Just saying hello since, well, remember how I said I see you around but I don't say anything? Well, I want to change that, so hi.
>> No. 2486856
File 130672120101.png - (859.85KB , 1920x1080 , 1304280792346.png )
yeah /b/ can work its magic sometimes.

OP I dont know anything about you and your life, but I can tell you one thing: Your mother will always have some amount of love for you, she GAVE BIRTH TO YOU by nature she has a link with you that not even your father does, so I wouldn't worry to much, if you guys were fighting it was probably in the heat of the moment! Trust me, me and my dad get into full on BRAWLS for less, she still loves you, she just has a clouded mind right now.
>> No. 2486857
File 130672125824.jpg - (45.65KB , 455x590 , 130568142723.jpg )

You're welcome man. We are all here for you, for real. We love you and don't want you to feel so bad about your life that you find it not worth living.

Your mother will come around. Everything is just raw and emotional right now. In a few hours or maybe tomorrow, you should be a man (or woman) and go and face your mother and tell her how you feel, that you love her and that you don't want your beliefs to come between you. Family is the one place you should feel safe. Tell her she can feel safe at home with you and that you just want to be safe to talk things out at home with her also.

Your home is the retreat from the world. To make it more comfortable, talk it out with her and just agree to disagree. Do it even though you're scared, even though it's so hard to move your feet and go, even though you feel like there's no point, even if you think things are that bad, go give her a hug and tell her you love her. Everything will be alright in the end.

She loves you or she wouldn't have made an effort to take care of you all these years. Just help her understand that you can love a person, but disagree with their beliefs or actions. A person is not the things he thinks or does. A person is who they are, and in a family you should feel safe to be who you are even if it's a little uncomfortable at first.

That Bi-Polar Brony
>> No. 2486858
>Well guess what, if you die, you don't get a feeling of relief. You get nothing.

Exactly. And everyone around you gets hurt instead. Well im off to bed , i hope you sort things out with your mother OP , good luck /Hug
>> No. 2486859
File 130672136394.jpg - (17.52KB , 220x323 , batman_rage.jpg )
>> No. 2486860
File 130672142756.png - (887.61KB , 754x3452 , whosafraidtolive.png )
Right now, I'm sure your emotions are running high. Hell, everybody has pits and valleys that always seem to steep to get out of. I know it seems like an insurmountable challenge to ever get happy again but if you kill yourself, then you never will.

Riddle me this; what if there is no afterlife? I don't know where you come from religiously but just entertain the possibility that there is no heaven or hell or purgatory and that this short span of time you have here is all your ever going to get.

What then? Do you escape pain into nothingness? Is not existing, not living, not breathing, not eating, not laughing, not crying, not skating, not listening to music really better than what you're going through now?

You say that suicide hasn't crossed your mind this badly for ten years. Well, that means you beat it once and I'm sure you can do it again. If not for your family or friends do it for yourself. You have to believe that you're worth saving. No one, not one person is insignificant.

Do this; go to bed. Today sound like it up and fucked you in a bad way so just go to bed. Go to sleep and wake up tomorrow and then let's have this talk.

And about the whole thread thing? Yeah, I've started no less than sixteen threads here, all of which sunk below page two in less than half an hour. I assure you, it's nothing personal. You are worth more than anyone thinks of you. You are worth more than you think of yourself and you are sure as hell worth more than a couple of threads on a site about ponies.

Yes, you are.
>> No. 2486861
File 130672146583.jpg - (207.55KB , 576x466 , 1300302930937.jpg )
>> No. 2486862
File 130672146659.jpg - (47.15KB , 482x409 , cat lolol.jpg )
in late night of the 4th day locked in my room, i decided to visit ponychan.. to try to laugh a bit.. since nothing else was being able to make me even smile..

and before i could notice, i was writting about my problems in /oat/..
Well, i got replyed, in the most kind way possible, as much as you are being now.
All the bronies gave me strenght and courage to face the life once again, to do the opperation.

In 4 days, i smiled for the first time, at the same time that a tear droped from my eyes.

"im not alone.. i have friends!"

i tough, i never was so happy before, and i never tough that i would feel so warm and welcomed in the internet, that once was a scary place..

Two days after, i was heading to the hospital, to do the surgery.. i still remember when my pony-hating sister was there, waiting for me..

And i still remember when she gave me a Applejack toy, and said "be strong like applejack sis!"

While i waited in a room to the preparations be done, i was at ponychan, talking with all the bronies that where supporting me, as much as they are doing for you now.
>> No. 2486863
File 130672148504.gif - (266.11KB , 420x315 , I wholeheartedly applaud you.gif )
Gentlemen, this is Ponychan. I'm applauding all of you for your support in this matter. The image attached is only found on my flashdrive that contains a few, select things of mine. I only pull out this image for very select and rare occasions, and this is one of them. In fact, I've only used it once before.

Cheese, this goes to you especially. Life is tough, things tend to go downhill, and we look at how well everyone else is doing and we just cry a bit, on the inside or outside. Life tends to weigh me down, things get tough, I'm sent into spiraling depression.

However, I jog myself back into reality. Yes, nothing comes easily, but it's still possible to obtain. I need to force myself to look up, and see that everything will eventually work in my favor. It might be 50 years before it happens, but it'll happen.

In regards to your mother, she still loves you. No matter what she says, what she does, or how much she seems to hate you at the given time, she will always love you. A mother's love never ends, sometimes it gets a bit hidden from all of the bad things going on, but it never ends.

Your mother loves you, don't forget that.
>> No. 2486864

Cheese, my friend, you are certainly worth our good wishes on your behalf! And I'm glad that in the time it took me to write and compile my unwieldy wall of text large chunks of it became more unnecessary than when I began. Definitely check out "point 5" though!

As for my fellow bronies: ... You guys rock. Thank you for helping Cheese! He's good people, and you are good people! I'm so proud of you all right now ...

Now, Cheese, remember to be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and stars, you have a right to be here and to be happy here.

The Herd is here when (ever) you need us.

That goes for everypony else here.

>> No. 2486865
I think for now I'm just going to go out for a walk, to muster up the courage and use that to talk with my mom about this. I don't expect it to change much, but I have to try...
I love you all...
>> No. 2486866
File 130672157378.jpg - (10.94KB , 529x410 , Im not amused.jpg )
Have you no remorse?
>> No. 2486868

Heh, be strong friend. It may be hard, but I know you can get through this.

We love you. Please don't scare us like this again.
>> No. 2486869
Posting to show support (because I'm useless at advice).
>> No. 2486870
File 130672167539.jpg - (47.77KB , 482x409 , cat blushed.jpg )
In the end, the surgery was done.

i had no fear of losing my voice, i had no fear of never being able to sing again, because i learned something really important in ponychan, with my friends.

that every single life is important, to me, and to everypony

that's why i didn't cared about losing my voice, because i had something much more important at my side, you, and everypony side, the friendship!
>> No. 2486871
File 130672169513.png - (94.20KB , 480x360 , 1303529102013.png )
and we love you bro! Now go out there and kick life in the ace for giving you such a shitty day!

>pic related, its your face.
>> No. 2486872
We love you too, Cheese. I'm not just saying that either, I consider you a friend. I hope your talk with your mom goes well, and remember we'll always be there for support!
>> No. 2486873
File 130672177372.png - (212.00KB , 1900x1916 , hugz3.png )
And we love you too, Cheese.
We love you too.
>> No. 2486874
Life isn't a fight, nor is it a battle or conflict. Life is being in a world full of misery and hopelessness and slowly clawing away at what surrounds you to reveal a beauty you could have never conceivably imagine.

It's all about buildings walls around us. Building walls that make us distrust others, hate ourselves, and wish that we could just end it all and escape. It's claustrophobic, losing the will to live. But in this emptiness and hopelessness you can always find a seed of rebirth, of new opportunity. Nobody can tell you what to do or who to be in life, and every day relationships and opportunities can change in an instant.

Find peace and tranquility in the chaos and uncertainty in life. You have to learn to love yourself and trust yourself because, in the end, that is how you view the world. The world is a three-dimensional plane and every individual sees it from a very limited perspective. We are all connected as humans; we get our energy from the same exact sources and the very material that makes us up all came from the very same source. Find solace in this inter-connectivity because it is more profound and beautiful than human communication could ever dictate.

I wish you the best of luck because not only are you my friend and I care about you, but because our pain is one entity. I feel it and while I cannot experience as you have, it stays on me as if it were my own.
>> No. 2486875
File 130672180903.png - (83.73KB , 387x466 , Hipster_RBD.png )

That's great! Take a nice walk, breathe some fresh air to help you think, and make sure you don't let the man get you down. Understand that she cannot control or change you, and that you are too strong to be affected by any sort of distrust by anyone.

Good luck, and Godspeed, cheese.
>> No. 2486876
File 130672181538.gif - (213.73KB , 498x318 , 1303342598398.gif )
bro I remember you! How was the surgery?
>> No. 2486877
File 130672183463.jpg - (24.09KB , 493x348 , you are.jpg )

And we love you too.

You can do anything. I know you can.
>> No. 2486878
File 130672185988.jpg - (67.16KB , 894x894 , wet_rainbow_dash_by_smittyg-d3h8frz_png.jpg )
THIS SO MUCH, I don't know what to say but I support :s
>> No. 2486879
That takes a lot of courage. I wish you the best...
>> No. 2486880
File 130672186741.png - (63.46KB , 461x449 , Roseluck approves.png )
Best of luck in this, we'll be here for you.
And all of us are grateful that you keep passing that kindness and love along.
>> No. 2486881
File 130672188638.png - (297.92KB , 859x715 , 130487462328.png )
Look for the beauty in all of the small things while you're walking. A small plant, a bird, a puddle of water... Beauty can come in things and small, and it usually serves me well to look for those things.
>> No. 2486882
File 130672192138.jpg - (47.15KB , 482x409 , cat lolol.jpg )
Today, im still recovering from the surgery, but my voice is returning at full power.

The procedure went very well, even the medics didn't believe that i was able to keep my vocal chords perfectly healty, after the surgery.

i really dont understand anything about medicine, i cant say what happened, maybe it was a miracle, but there is one thing that im sure, and no one will ever change.

I do believe that i recovered so well because everypony was praying and cheering for me, as much as i and everypony is doing for you now, to get better as quick as possible!

because we care!
because we believe in you!
because we all worry about you!

so smile cheese, smile and dont let the bad things of life put you down, okay?
>> No. 2486883
I don't think that what I'll say will equal to about 1/10th of some of the other posts I've seen, but I'll be damned if I don't try.
I would like to bring up something you once said earlier, if you wouldn't mind. "She calls me a sheep for not believing what she believes in". Now, what she said sounds pretty ridiculous, no? "Follow what I say and do or else you're a sheep!" I know these kinds of people. I know them very well. They may appear to carry some sort of authority, but it's only in their minds. They are ignorant, insecure, very likely extremely stupid, they leach the happiness from others for their own sick gain, but most importantly, dead on the inside. Quite a poor quality human being in my humble opinion.
Now, is THAT the kind of person you want to have dictate your happiness for you? Allowing someone like THAT to have complete control over your heart, mind, and, should you have finally given in, your body as well? I certainly wouldn't.
It seems that most of this comes out of conflict with your mother, feeling helpless over her rule, but there is one way you can fight back that will completely and utterly defeat her: Live in SPITE of her.
Live every day with a smile, live a life of laughter, take care of yourself and the people around you (Yes, even her), and the fact that, despite what she's done to you, you still have the power and will to live a happy functional life will show her just how strong you are, and just how little power she has over you. Giving in to suicidal thoughts only means that she won.
I know it may be hard to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and start again, but it'll be a trip well worth it. For the time being, bide with all your willlpower, still attempt to love and tolerate her, and move out as soon as possible. I know it will be hard, believe me. I've been through my share of shit, but it will all pay off in the end. We love you, we really do. We want you to be happy. We want you to live. We want to see you grow so we can all share smiles and laughter later on, when you have finally put all this behind you. We all want to be happy because you will be happy. However, it all starts with you. The moment you let other people dictate your happiness for you is the moment you start to die on the inside. The only person who truly has a right to dictate how you feel is yourself, and once you ignore everyone else and let you be happy for YOU, then you'll realize how beautiful this blessing of life is. We love you dearly, and we want to see you make it. But as I said, the first step can only be made by you.

Anyways, those are just my two cents. Like I said, it may not have been to par with some of the other posts, but I can rest peacefully knowing it had some effect. Ride on, Space Cowboy.
>> No. 2486884
File 130672207815.png - (148.13KB , 866x768 , 130586772729.png )

listen to this pony cheese, because she knows what she's talking about.
>> No. 2486885

Lyrica -- That's great news! I'm really happy that your voice is getting better! Someday, I hope to hear you singing something!

And thank you for sharing, and for helping Cheese!

>> No. 2486886
>I love you all...

Wow, that's... It's great to hear you say that. Right on, bud.
>> No. 2486887
File 130672213205.jpg - (62.62KB , 472x568 , Smile.jpg )
Just going to leave this here.
>> No. 2486888
File 130672214424.png - (261.03KB , 600x605 , internethug.png )
I don't think I ever told you how truly happy I was when you told us the surgery went well and you'd be singing again. Let me take the opportunity now!
>> No. 2486889
I am not the most competent person in this regard, but i want to let you know that you have my concern and my love. i hope you feel better.

i think the best advice has already been given, but just realize that although it may seem right now that life is no longer worth living, it will get better. you just have to give it the chance.
>> No. 2486890

We love you too, Cheese! I look forward to seeing you around ponychan for many long and happy years (and MLP seasons!) to come.

>> No. 2486891

It's always the thought/sincerity that counts the most
>> No. 2486892
File 130672226085.jpg - (136.47KB , 900x912 , botherbotherbotherbotherbotherbother.jpg )
>not that this fucking page will stay alive for an hour, anyways

Not if i have anything to say about that.

pic related.
>> No. 2486893
File 130672227588.gif - (100.13KB , 699x720 , 130507515259.gif )

We love you too, man. I wish you luck and all the best. Every Brony counts. We love you so much. There are thousands of people here who love you and we may barely know you, but we love you just the same.

You are our brother from another mother.

That is the magic of Friendship.

Shit, there's some dust in my eye.
>> No. 2486894

Good luck.
>> No. 2486895
File 130672233276.png - (142.46KB , 1000x800 , 130530276689.png )
Glad to hear that Lyrica! I haven't had the chance to catch you and ask! Can't wait to hear you sing again! I may have to ask for a duet sometime.
>> No. 2486896

Thank you, Pinkie Pie. Have I mentioned lately how great the mods of this place are? No? Yes? Doesn't matter -- I'll mention it again: they're great. Really great.

>> No. 2486897
File 130672234499.jpg - (48.29KB , 482x409 , cat lol.jpg )

we all love you too cheese, with all our hearts!
>> No. 2486898

Also I reflected on it and would like to apologize for the fact that my advice is generally insipid and irrelevant to anything. Hope you do better, though.


>> No. 2486899
File 130672236213.jpg - (138.21KB , 600x600 , luna happy.jpg )
Hey, this made it to the top of Non-pony. People must be taking notice!
>> No. 2486900
File 130672239778.jpg - (1.78KB , 127x72 , 1303611351012s.jpg )
Aww shit Pinkie Pie mod spreadin some serous friendship up in this bitch, YOU CANT STOP US HATERS WE GON LOVE AND TOLERATE THE SHIT OUTTA ERREPONY

>> No. 2486901
Whew, can certainly say there's plenty of love in here.

Cheese, I'm sorry that I can't stick around on msn after your walk and chat, to see how it goes. With it being 3.30am.. I just wouldn't be conscious.. but I'm glad to have had the chance to chat with you and hope it has made even a slight difference.

I really sincerely hope it goes okay, but if it doesn't, don't give up. Your relationship with your mother won't be perfect straight away, it'll take time and effort but please do forge ahead and don't feel bad. Especially if she says you should feel bad (which I think is quite horrible, even though she does undoubtedly love you in her own way and have best intentions at heart).

Let us all know. Don't give up. And darn it, I look forward to talking to you and getting to know you as one of the bronies, so... see you soon!
>> No. 2486902
Cheese, i'm so sorry for you.
You have people here. People to talk to.
Don't to it, it isn't a good solution.
Some of us feel your pain.
Don't do it. It wouldn't be worth it.
>> No. 2486903
File 130672250348.png - (161.46KB , 831x962 , DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.png )
my god that thumbnail is f'd up.
>> No. 2486904
File 130672251252.jpg - (28.33KB , 545x587 , fryfuturama3.jpg )

aw man.. everytime that i remember this i feel like crying in happyness..
>> No. 2486905
I've been up with you all of this time on MSN... I'm glad you feel better... Had you have done this, I most likely would have followed.

I've told you all I can up to this point and done everything in my power to help you feel better. You're an amazing person. Don't let anyone, not even your own mother try to tell you otherwise. If you've managed to take life up to this point, you can keep going.

I know my advice probably doesn't compare to the helpful things people here have said, and I'm sorry for that... But please know you have my support to the very end and I'll do anything I can to assure that you smile.

I love you.
>> No. 2486906
I disagree, when feeling suicidal, you don't feel like you could do that, that's more of a meaniepants saying "fuckin' emo coltcuddlers. DO SOMETHING NORMAL OR BETTER INSTEAD OF BEING YOU!"
>> No. 2486907

This reminded me; I'm sorry I wasn't on msn to help you out, cheese. I don't think you added me or anything though so yeah.
>> No. 2486908
File 130672279352.png - (56.89KB , 500x412 , yZChWGr3kqj0hv7lzhPldlU9o1_500.png )
also, i feel proud as fuck, of being a brony, that spreads frienship, love and tolerance over the internet.

i do remember of seeing lots of threads like this around ponychan, and they all gets motivated by friendly bronies, you're doing a awesome job, ponychan!
>> No. 2486909
File 130672294861.jpg - (83.40KB , 400x300 , 1305418264806.jpg )
Seeing as a lot of people here are from /b/ (including myself) this is a huge accomplishment!
>> No. 2486910
This surprised me actually.

I hope things get better cheese, it's sad to hear about you and your mother, but please think on the brighter side of things. Who knows what will happen in life.
>> No. 2486911
File 130672307364.jpg - (40.52KB , 530x413 , 1284295422.jpg )

indeed it is.
>> No. 2486912
File 130672316236.png - (117.37KB , 1226x1274 , 1305492683444.png )
Dude cheese Is gonna be SO happy to see that it got stickied! Oh man this is gonna be good.
>> No. 2486913
File 130672333080.jpg - (116.81KB , 1101x607 , 130562673980.jpg )
Thats probably one of the best ways ive heard an online peptalk ever.. I could almost read it in a drill instructor tone and for me (being a paramilitary brony) that was awsome, gona save that one for myself whenever I'm dealing with issues.

As for op. Im glad to see youre getting better, and im proud of this comunity for banding togeather like this to help other bronies out. We all love eachother even tho we have never met. We avirt suicides, we band together in times of pain, but have massive fun when we arent averting crisises. To quote the ending to everyone's favorite themesong "youre all my very best friends." and we do what best friends do, every day. Im sorry im late for the party, and couldent be around to actualy help, but just for everyone involved and actualy helping.. youre all awsome.. I just wish I had something more uplifting to say heh, never been good at this stuff...

So op, i hope you stop being a silly pony, cause we all care about you.
>> No. 2486914
File 130672348542.jpg - (38.02KB , 500x368 , 130646992708.jpg )

We love you, cheese! If you wanna talk, talk with us! You are welcomed with open arms.
>> No. 2486915
File 130672363773.jpg - (30.38KB , 401x447 , 130540080329.jpg )
Its good that you dont feel suicidal anymore. After reading the OP I got kinda scared for a second.

If you end your life you will miss season 2!
>> No. 2486916
File 130672373156.jpg - (131.20KB , 697x800 , 130606237625.jpg )
Alright cheese, The Daily /oat/ is up, so prepare to be shocked with some more responses when you get back. Well that is on top of !!Pinkie getting you a sticky.
>> No. 2486917

All of these people right here said what I wish I could say, those were amazingly well put. I read through the whole thread and saw that you decided not to do it, and are going to talk to your mother. Thank you cheese, and good luck. Things will look up soon! Again, thank you for keeping yourself alive, we care about you, even if we don't know you well. Stay strong, everything will get better soon.
>> No. 2486918
File 130672383698.jpg - (55.46KB , 350x400 , fluttershyguy.jpg )
Cheese, man... (Or woman?)

I guess you're still out taking a walk. I want to leave you for right now with a quote from one of my favorite games. It may sound stupid, but it's something I watch whenever I feel like I can't take living in this world anymore.

"Living the same life, over and over.
But living those lives without any regrets is what really matters.

That's probably what the ideal vision of being human is all about.

However, we humans are really not that strong.

And we know that we can't live like that.

We're creatures that are much more flawed, weak, and smaller than that.

We hurt others. We lie to ourselves. We hate. We blame others. We regret.

But even if we are weak, and even if it is our fate to disappear entirely, I think the will to change the future is still an important one.

We must try to change the things around us, little by little, even if it is one step at a time, and even if everything is already predetermined.

It's not something for us to be sad about. No, on the contrary, the future is overflowing with hope.

And we have infinite paths to choose from."

We can fix this world to what it used to be. All we need to do is start believing in the good in each other again.

I believe in you.
>> No. 2486919
Cheesecake, I have been down that road before. It's a wretched thing, but no matter how bad it seems there IS an end.

I was thrown out in the woods up upstate new york to die at age 14, because I am homosexual, and for that my father thought it was a crime worthy of death. My girlfriend would not help me, she turned her music up and closed her blinds when I came to her window. The court would not help me, Dad convinced them I was a clepto. Best friend wouldn't help me, parents convinced his parents that I was a pedophile. I was alone, in the wilderness of rural upstate, with nothing but a pair of jeans and a sleeping bag. I can not tell you how many times I looked at the swirls in the black river and thought they'd be fun to end it with. But I realized something: Life, fate, destiny, whatever force controls the universe is a sick, sadistic motherfucker and this is nothing more than a test. You die, they win. Don't take shit from life, let the haters hate, and those who want to scoff can scoff. It's all one big test, don't give anyone the satisfaction of seeing you down and out. Live when they want you dead, smile when they try to get a rise out of you, laugh when life scares you, sing like nobody hears you, dance like nobody sees you, and be your own person, not theirs.

You are the master of yourself. My love goes out to you, and I hope you can make it through this test. It's hard, it's long, but it will be worth it in the end. Don't give up.

>> No. 2486920
I think you could use some Sartre.

This is a pretty good vehicle for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-uQWNd540I
>> No. 2486921
File 130672461551.jpg - (20.27KB , 320x180 , hug.jpg )
I'm back from my walk, and I've returned to offer a conclusion to this thread.
I've gotten out of my room two times today. I've skateboarded down to the beach, and cried on the salty sands twice today. The difference between these two times is that the first pilgrimage was a reckless one; the lethal traffic that surrounded me felt more like targets for my frail body, and the tears I shed at the beach were of a pain I thought to be unbearable and inescapable. The second time, however, I felt. For the first time going down to the beach I felt the wind caress my hair, and I felt the warmth and comfort that was for so long beyond reach. These tears were sweet; they were full of the emotions of finally feeling wanted, of truly feeling accepted in a place for the first time in my life.
At this point, I can't properly describe how much this thread and it's response means to me in words, so let's try numbers. The amount of comments in this thread surpasses the amount of comments my deviantart profiles have received after about 3 years of active existence. The amount of sheer words of advice has more than generously surpassed the amount of feedback I've gotten on facebook, or myspace; places that have been filled with family and friends gained in real life, or what have you. Now, what's my point here? Is my motivation to try and acquire more sorrow on my behalf? No. My point is that, a place filled completely with people I've not known in real life; a place of strangers with a common interest, was able to surpass a lifetime of friendships with many people IRL couldn't. This place has surpassed what 3 years of hard work couldn't. Now, I can't say that the people in real life haven't helped; in fact, every comment has helped me to become better than I would have been without it, but my problem has always been that I was falling so fast that I couldn't use all the care I got to counteract that force, but rather slow it as much as I could.
...until right now.
I'm in tears from writing this. I'm in tears trying to read all the kind words that have been given to me, and I couldn't possibly describe how it's made me feel.
I can't say I'm fully better; I can't say that tomorrow I'll through caution to the wind and be as happy as anyone on this earth, but what I can say is that the worst feels over... For years my condition, my mood has only gotten worse, up until this point, this thread; this hope.
I love you all so much, and I could never possibly say that enough to ever feel I've expressed that feeling to it's proper justice.

tl;dr thank you all so much
>> No. 2486922
On reflection, it's pretty easy to misunderstand it, though. What I'm trying to say here is that just because life doesn't have meaning handed to us doesn't mean we can't create our own. You'll note that for all his moaning, Sartre didn't commit suicide: rather, he found (many!) things worth living for.

This song conveys my meaning pretty well.
>> No. 2486923
Derp, I'm really sucking tonight. Not sure where I can find a streaming version of that song, but it's pretty good.
>> No. 2486924

I'd do it again and again for you, man. I'm really glad to hear that. We're always here for you, know matter what, when, or why.
>> No. 2486925
'sup blossom
>> No. 2486926
File 130672494058.png - (360.70KB , 1900x1916 , fluttershyrainbowdashhug.png )
I'm not really one for words, so all I can do is give you the support of another brony and hope all turns out for the best.

All my love, cheese.
>> No. 2486927
File 130672518498.png - (63.46KB , 461x449 , Roseluck approves.png )

Welp, now I'm crying. This makes me immensely happy to read. I'm glad there are those more eloquent than myself that could help (well intentioned as I may be)
>> No. 2486928
If you're ever in NW WA, look me up. I"ll show you the sights :)
>> No. 2486929
File 130672563402.png - (859.85KB , 1920x1080 , 1304280792346.png )

>> No. 2486930
File 130672569145.jpg - (142.50KB , 776x664 , aww.jpg )

i wish i could hug you right now, cheese!
>> No. 2486931
...oh my god, this got stickied..?
god, I didn't even notice that when I made that 'conclusion' post...
>> No. 2486932
i wanna bake you a cake...
no, i wanna bake cakes with you :3
>> No. 2486933
bro, we told you you were important!

I dont think Ive been this happy in a loooong time!
>> No. 2486934
File 130672594452.png - (258.14KB , 1900x1916 , 130608960842.png )
Yes, it did cheese, and I'm proud of you, be strong and stay strong my friend. ^_^ We all care for you and I hope these numbers prove it. I'm hoping that this is your turning point in life as my coming out was for me, I hope for the best my friend and I'll always be friend, aswell as a whole hell of a lot of this community. :D
>> No. 2486935
File 130672598723.jpg - (111.46KB , 1280x800 , 130550674323.jpg )
Yup, you're going to be loved the shit out of. That's what ponychan is here for. To tolerate and love the shit out of people!
>> No. 2486936
File 130672629031.png - (318.84KB , 900x1328 , 130524857376.png )
It's great to hear this, It really is. I haven't ever seen you so happy before.

I wish you luck in all your endeavors. I hope you find all those friends you want and more. Until then, you keep making all that awesome art. I'll be watching.
>> No. 2486937
at this point, I only wish I could respond to each and every one of you... in fact...
okay, this might take a bit:
>> No. 2486938
File 130672653624.jpg - (29.28KB , 454x345 , rainbow loves you.jpg )
I'm so happy this did not turn for the worse.

I'm so happy your here! *hugs

Thats what community and friendship is all about. When one falls, we help pick them up again.
>> No. 2486939
File 130672659127.png - (52.02KB , 500x580 , 130607041471.png )
Glad to hear you made the right decision, cheese. And I hope everything works out for you in the end.
>> No. 2486940
oh wow bro, you really don't have to

but if you want, go ahead
>> No. 2486941
File 130672694254.jpg - (26.53KB , 567x672 , 1295747464052(2).jpg )
oh god, Im getting my screen cap ready
>> No. 2486942
File 130672711795.png - (55.72KB , 469x352 , 130624642369.png )
Epic post incoming?
>> No. 2486943
File 130672727414.png - (136.18KB , 329x360 , 130642864328.png )
You don't need to *there's a hell of a lot of posts...*...

But if you really want to, I don't want you to be worn out though, go ahead.
>> No. 2486944
File 130672741762.jpg - (101.22KB , 600x600 , lunahappy.jpg )

I got to this thread a little late, but bless you dude, I'm glad you made it through the pain. You're going to go on and make a lot of people happy throughout your lifetime, even if it doesn't feel like it during times like these. There are people here who love you & people out there in your life that love you. You're gonna look back on this decision one day and be thankful you didn't go through with it, I just know it.
>> No. 2486945
stickied, happy? listen, i seriously wanted to end it in 8th grade. the only thing that stopped me was the thought of my family and a few select friends. i have experienced so much joy since then that i am cofident i will never again contemplate suicide. don't make the stupidest decision of your life or lack therof.
>> No. 2486946
also, threads die bro. it's all just ones and zeroes. nothing to add to the list of reasons to off yourself.
>> No. 2486947
So many people with suicide stories...I'd like to listen to them sometime, but I don't want too many depressing threads
>> No. 2486948
File 130672819863.png - (155.21KB , 1831x1568 , 130145041868.png )

I'm so happy and relieved to hear that! This is but the first step to turning your life around for the better. It's not gonna be easy, but it will be totally worth it. And remember, we'll always be here to support you and cheer you on, and to pick you up when you fall.

Never lose hope, bro. You can fucking do this.
>> No. 2486949
File 130672874469.png - (23.58KB , 124x125 , TwilightPinkieHug.png )
I'm very glad you're doing fine, cheese. I've been reading this thread from bed on my cell phone, but I just had to get up so I could reply. You're a very strong person to be able to upen up to us and let us know how you feel. Don't you ever think you're not strong enough to get ahead, because in this thread, you have definitely proved otherwise.
>> No. 2486950
File 130672882818.png - (292.32KB , 500x530 , Tali happy.png )
Glad to hear it
>> No. 2486951
File 130672937270.png - (19.44KB , 417x500 , uguuu2.png )
You just go ahead and report the OP when you want this archived, okay?

Epic thread is epic.
>> No. 2486952
File 130673003380.png - (111.70KB , 348x362 , 1303098124891.png )
>not a mod

Also this song seems kinda fitting
>> No. 2486953
File 130673024711.jpg - (161.70KB , 1024x725 , motivation.jpg )
Look, the truth is that it's not your fault.

Happiness is genetically set. If you are always depressed, there isn't much you can do to prevent depression naturally. Go, get some antidepressants. This isn't cheating, or pathetic. It's just one of the benefits of modern life. Not going and getting medical help would by like refusing to get antibiotics when you have a staff infection, because you don't want people to think poorly of your immune system. It's silly.

Your life might suck, but if you really are always depressed, it isn't your life, it's your brain.

Even if you don't want to do this, use your frontal lobe to fuck depression in the flank. Don't let yourself be miserable. Your misery is a product of your mind, just as happiness is. Choose the one you want, and don't let neurotransmitters deficiency control you. Control it.

Frankly, you're a human goddamned being. You're better than this. And just because you're in a place right now where people aren't appreciating that fact, doesn't make it any less true.
>> No. 2486954

Awesome post man!
>> No. 2486955
This makes me look back on some things.... I've tried suicide before...
I've brought a gun to my own head...
I've almost slipped a head through a rope...
I've almost slit my own throat..................
I've almost gone to a building to jump off...............
I'm glad you didn't do anything.
>> No. 2486956
File 130673105549.png - (843.17KB , 633x756 , 1306309771871.png )
Good pick, but I think this one fits better. For that fact, I think it almost fits Ponychan to a T.

>> No. 2486957
File 130673157652.png - (8.65KB , 82x125 , 130656313013.png )
Inb4 cheese comes back with a massive reply to everypony and there's some epic outburst of happiness or something.

That'd be awesome.
>> No. 2486958
or how about this
>> No. 2486959
File 130673175104.png - (859.85KB , 1920x1080 , 130672563402.png )
I'm really late to this but I'm so happy the community came together and turned your feelings around.
Then feel amazing yourself because you're part of a community this incredible. I think all of you ponies who helped tonight shows our true colors and they were inspiring.

We're here for you, cheese, always
>> No. 2486960

A very nice song for Ponychan! Seeing how much the community pulls together to help each other out reminds me of another song too:

Lean on me by Bill Withers


<< singing >>

"Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on ..."

We're always here for you to lean on, Cheese -- if you need us.

>> No. 2486961
File 130673215102.jpg - (558.97KB , 1296x872 , 1305419367788.jpg )
Most epic thread of all time? Most epic thread of all time!
>> No. 2486962
File 130673242826.png - (152.38KB , 400x335 , 130594653285.png )
Hello Dear Cheese,

i am sorry that i respond so late to you beeing in need and im overjoyed that everypony here tried theyre best to help you... I dont even know if you remember me anymore since we got to talk only very little at the beginning of my ponychan time, but i sure remember you. I belive one of my first Messages here was somethin like "i like cheese <3" to make a bit fun on the other side but also to hook up on people.

Im a terrible fluttershy with new places but you all helped me through a hard time. Dont ever think your problems are not big enough to carry them to us and let us help. Im sorry the first attempt failed and im sure it wasnt intencioned... but sometimes the stormy board just flows so damn hard that everypony looses sight of a little light in distress.

Even if we did not talk much (hell i think you surely dont remember me) i remember you. I asked Matias all the time about your wellbeeing, i Cried for hard when you suddenly left us and i heard you were not planning on coming back, i was worried to death everytime i heard you were not doing so good. Be it mentaly or body bound.... (i hope your teeth are not hurting anymore)

I was really really glad when i found your name among the "how do you feel today" thread but i was scared to talk to you, what if i was the reason he left.. i dont want him to leave again.... better be quitet.

But i am really glad you decided to let you help. And please dont EVER EVER EVER EVER think we would not care for you... cause we do. We will be always here for you and try to help you the best we can. In this short time i have been here i have come to knows this wonderfull Communitiy and realised something that i thought never would be possible, there are People that care on this love forsaken planet

There will be always a Pinkie Pie here for you to make you laught, a Twilight Sparkle to help you with knowlege Words, a Rainbow Dash that will come to your Aid in 10 Sec Flat, a Applejack that will not rest untill you feel better, a Fluttershy that will patch you up when your down and a Rarity that offers you a shoulder to cry on.... and makes sure you look marvelous ^_~

Never forget that... We are here for you. We do care for you, We do Love you. Stay Strong....

Im Daniel from Germany my Email is [email protected] and you have a Friend in me. Write me whenever you need something, be it a good laught, a helping word, aid in any sort, a helping hand, beeing patched up or just a shoulder to cry on. I will be there.

Stay well my Dear Friend
>> No. 2486963
File 130673364632.jpg - (73.82KB , 895x570 , grouphug.jpg )
Wow. I missed this entire thread? I missed this entire thread!

I am amazed at how powerful this community and mindset has become. It seems that words can save lives. And that makes me want to choose my every word more carefully so that what I say can strengthen and heal.

I thought I could contribute and give to the brony community but it seems I still have things to learn and receive.
>> No. 2486964
Holy shit. I got on my phone to check Ponychan and I just saw this...because I'm on my phone, I didn't get to read most of the thread and I think I probably missed a response or something. But I hope what I'm saying helps:

Please, please, please don't do it, cheese. You have had a really rough life. I'm not going to deny that or call you an attention whore because I read your previous thread and I know about the horrors you've seen and what you've been through. Honestly, I have no idea why this thread isn't stickied (or maybe it is and I just didn't realize it; hard to tell on my phone). But there's one thing I have to remind you of: no matter how bad things may get, it's never truly hopeless. You never fall so far that you can't climb back up. Please, please, please don't kill yourself. You have no idea how worried I am about you right now.

Don't let anybody call you an attention whore because you are not an attention whore. You have a serious problem and you need help.
>> No. 2486965
File 130673438236.jpg - (20.27KB , 320x180 , hug.jpg )
this is a very good point. Suicide is a permanent solution. The problem is that sometimes, these pains can feel just as permanent. I can see now that maybe it isn't worth dying over, though.
I'm 17. probably not the wisest of ages, but I do a lot of thinking to make up for that.
I suppose you're right... Life, as far as I know with it, is all I have, and I think it may be foolish to end it.
I'm sorry if your life was awful... in the future, however, you may want to refrain from using that in such things. Suffering does seem to be relative, and, although I can respect that your life was difficult, I can't compare mine with yours to say who really went through worse.
I know. and I really do feel as though life will go uphill if I can just allow it to...
I can honestly relate to that reason. I've often felt as though I was only living because I didn't deserve death, but I only have to believe that as long as pessimism shines through.
I... I know you care, engineer. I really do...
I try not to base it on things like that, but it's just the focus on something bad that gets to me.
I'll stay with you guys now...
I know you'll miss me... it just took a bit to realize that...
I know life isn't supposed to be easy, and I know we have it well. It's appreciating that that can be hard sometimes
I was going to do that, but my phone is upstairs, and I've been afraid to go up there. And yes, if anything I can look forward to those things...
I know... that was just me focusing on the bad comments I guess.
I'm sorry if I sounded hostile earlier... I was just really afraid.
I've been trying to see things for what they are... it's hard for me to see, but I feel as though this has opened my eyes...
just bothering to be here is more than enough to suffice, trust me
I'm very sorry your mother is that way too, and I'm glad you've been able to be sturdy... thank you
I know you mean well, but that isn't necessary. Thank you, though; seriously.
well, uhm... I don't know what you mean by relationship, since I sorta am seeing someone, but... I'd love to be friends...
you don't have to be sorry for not talking... trust me, you've helped me enough to make up for that, and I don't want you to feel as though you've failed. you haven't.
it's been difficult trying to realize that, but... it gets easier with every notion of affection... as for the whole attention whore thing; that's always been a sensitive spot for me, soo yeah
I'm trying to let you guys help me, and I feel as though you really have....
I know now what I have to live for; you guys. the people that really do care about me, even enough to tear down the wall I've made over the years.
she has conspiracy beliefs. 9/11 inside jobs, codex alimentarius, RFID skepticism. And in my questioning I never told her she was wrong; I merely asked her to consider that she could be, and that she was forcing it on people.
I'm not sure if they were trying to share their story, or help me with it, but I'll just say that maybe they should keep those comments for other threads....
it's very therapeutic to talk about, yes, but I don't believe this is a thread for that.
I... I know she was wrong to say that... and I'm really surprised that you'd really think that of me... that the world needs more of me.
I agree... though perhaps they had good intentions with it as well.
they may have meant it with constructive undertones, but yes, I sorta agree too
I... It really does mean something to me now. now that I feel like I can see it...
thanks... I'm just sorry if you go through the same
I guess I really am loved here... it just took a major kick for me to see that
it's been difficult to talk, but I did read all this...
I know... it's all about how I deal with these things...
hmmm... I'll keep this group-thing in mind. as for difficulties, you've definitely hit the problem spot on with your description. thank you for understanding
but you see... suffering is relative. you can't really say you've gone through worse, because worse isn't a universal concept. at any rate, I respect that you have good intentions in mind, and I thank you.
yeah... it's just that sometimes failures can feel like it's all there is. hence, depression. though I see that now, and thank you.
I give you the OK. believe me when I say you could never be too clingy to me, and I can only enjoy your company.
yeah... if anything, hanging in there is the hardest part, but you guys really helped in that.
perhaps.... I'll have to talk with her later
to make a long story short, she's been pushing her beliefs, her conspiracies, on me, by trying to convince me that the world is going to end, or that I'm an idiot for not believing what she does.
it's okay... I can respect that not everyone will have something nice to say.
it's possible she will, yeah... and right now I'm trying not to pick number ones in terms of trust; my mother just happened to be longer. I'd love to be close to you though, I really would.
I suppose... no one's perfect, I respect that, but it was just sorta damaging on me.
I'm not, it's okay
she is pretty insecure, and I'm careful not to do this sort of thing, but I have to defend myself too, I guess.
my gosh... I can't say my mother has been as overt with her beliefs, but she seems just as persistent with them. I'm sorry you have to deal with it too
try not to worry about those...
yeah, you're right... it's just always been hard for me to trust people is all.
don't worry... no community has to be perfect to be amazing
yeah, I guess you're right... if she doesn't love me, then I can't fret too much over such a conditional thing.
try not to mind that
while it was rude, there's always gonna be parasprites on the internet
I agree
I hope you're not crutching on those... try to be healthy
again, try not to worry about it
well, it's okay. the kindness overwhelms it completely now
that's a very good point too... though I'm more upset over losing my trust in her if anything
yeah... I'm going to try to keep things as okay as possible...
life is pretty hard, yeah, and there are doubts and stuff; but you're right. it's all about perceptions, and maybe getting some help from others too. so thank you, really. I'll try to fulfill that potential
>> No. 2486966
File 130673445270.jpg - (29.48KB , 577x347 , bronies.jpg )
She does have insecurities of her own, and does get very defensive. though yeah, I hope she'll get that message soon
you're all 'pretty beast' to me. really.
I do believe that she's insecure, that's why she gets defensive. and I'm sorry you had to go through that with your mother, though I commend how you deal with it
I suppose that'd be a good way to deal with it... try and help things more. I may do that when I gather the strength; thank you
it was. but so is all the rest of the stuff that's happened here
thank you... I try to hold my own lack of belief in spite of all this, and it does mean a lot to think I'm strong for it
thank you. and I know now that I can trust people
I guess you're right... and it is hard for me. And yes, I can't be immediately jumping for joy, but I feel so much better from this.
it's okay, I just appreciate you caring
I am trying... thank you for your support
it hasn't just been about this website, but you are right... I need to live a lot more than I do
oooh, I love that song... thank you for your support, and noting the similarities in that and this
I really hope I can trust her with certain things, but she hasn't been the most trustworthy with others.. thank you though
I am re-thinking things, and trying to reconcile too
you don't need to write a novel... thank you for caring, really
you're right. I just have to perservere through all this bad stuff...
I'll always give her a chance...
I'm terribly sorry to hear this...
it's been hard to realize how much I mean here, but I think I do... I suppose fights with parents are natural though, and yeah, I don't think there's any difference between IRL and internet friends either
yeah, you're right... and I'll always give her that chance
I really do hope it was just a fit... but thank you
I like these lyrics... thank you for this
you don't have to be able to relate fully to help. just caring means enough. It's a lot of emotion to feel this way, but I think I can beat that with all this help...
that quote is so very true... thank you for your advice; I think I'll feel lovely waking up tomorrow
I'm sorry about it too... though I'm really glad to hear you care that much...
gotta love marley. and I can agree with you; the first step really is hard, but I feel like you guys have helped me made it
that's... quite the thing to see from /b/. not to pass judgement or anything, but it did make me feel better, so thank you.
I hope ponychan isn't going through too much of that... but I don't know; this thread has served pretty good testament to the care level here...
hehe, sorry about that. at any rate, I appreciate your efforts, and kindness
*hug tight back*
thank you very much for your care... I guess it is pretty common to feel that way, but I feel like I'll make it through now...
late or not, it still means a lot. thank you
yeah... though it's okay; it gets a point across
life is pretty up and down, yeah... I can at least appreciate that *hug*
it's true... without life I don't really have anything
I've never seen that song in that light before...
thank you
perhaps that could be best
...my word, I've never thought of this that way... I'm really, really glad that you think of me that way, and it really does make me feel better about myself too... thank you
>pic related
..hm? i'm not sure what al anon is, but I suppose it may help...
I agree...
I know you are... thank you so much
thank you for your care... I know this, now
I would love to talk to you in private, if you're still interested... my live email is in my post.
I hope she was overreacting, and I suppose I can't bottle up these things... thank you for your help
I'm glad you want to help me...
hehe... thank you for this
yeah, it is a nice quote.
also, uhmm... what's the daily /oat/?
this site really did help, and thank you...
I hope you're not too hurt, but I'll be happy for you if you can be happy too
yeah, that is pretty unexpected for me too
I suppose you're right about learning from these mistakes... it can just be a little difficult sometimes
thank you so much for your care, and please don't fear being clingy
I'm going to give my life a chance to get better, and you're right; people just want to escape pain
I'm going to try and change and fix things from now on. thank you for your care
you don't have to be good at these things to care, so thank you for caring
I'll try not to doubt that... and thank you for being there, really
thank you for caring... I'll try not to lose hope
I will apologize for what I may have said that was unfair, but I'll stay strong with what is fair. thank you
I'm so very appreciative of this... You're right about all these things, too. suicide isn't really chosen... I have to find ways to fix things, or just cope too.
yeah, I was actually keeping myself from doing it, but i dunno.. I was still in a dire state. That's a good point about relief being a feeling too... I suppose people will be upset with my death; it was just hard to see that, I suppose... thank you for all this information, for all this help... I really do appreciate this... thank you so much
my gosh... I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer... I'm also sorry that you got so upset with it...
hehe, isn't that nice of ya
I suppose maybe my mother will always love me... I hope it's just a clouded mind she has too.
I do hope that my mother comes around... thank you so much for caring...
goodnight to you. and thank you so much *hug back*
>> No. 2486967
File 130673449132.jpg - (20.27KB , 320x180 , hug.jpg )
scary thing, yes
good point... maybe there isn't an afterlife, and if so I should live this life up as much as I can... thank you. and I'm really sorry about your threads too
that's a scary picture
I'm very glad you got warm help from here. and I'm also glad you were strong and brave enough to go through that
I'm really really proud of this place too... it's made me so hapyy, i can't even believe. I do suppose I should jog my way back up, and that my mother does love you... thank you for your caring words
I still thank you for your words; they've been golden.
again, i wouldn't worry about those
I'm very sorry I did... I really didn't mean to scare anyone, I was just at a really, really bad spot...
thank you for your support
you're right... all life is important, even my own. thank you so much for your story, and I'm glad if you're okay
hehe, I suppose I should do that... thank you very much
..it makes me really happy to hear this... *hug*
I have made a wall. and we are all the same species, although different in some ways, so thank you for helping me, a fellow human being, in operating better. Thank you so much for your care
I'm going to. thank you very much for all your support and stuff
I hope it went really well
thank you so much... maybe not anything, but there' s a lot I'll try for
it's okay; I'm happy for your support
thank you. I feel I've been given that courage now...
I'm really glad...
beauty can come from all things, it's true... thank you for reminding me of that...
I'm really happy for you about your voice coming back. I'm so glad that you've shared that with me, and that you care about me. I'll try to smile more too.
I don't want her to dictate my happiness.. and you're right, I have to try to start again, and build something out of life. You have helped a lot, and I thank you for this...
it was a lovely story, and I feel honored that s/he would share with me
and thank you for caring
well, I really do. i love all human beings regardless, but there's just something about the community here that's just so special... I love it, and I love you all
aww, that's an adorable picture. thank you for that
I feel really glad that this surgery went okay as well
competence isn't relevant: I'm really happy that you care, so thank you
and I look forward to being with you, and all the others here as well
yeah, it is... even though his advice has helped a lot too
ohmigoshh... thank you so much; I really appreciate that you've done this for me...
that image was very beautiful, I think... I'm really glad that there's so much love here, and I feel honored to be a part of it...
thank you
hehe, it's good that she's better
hehe, they are pretty great
thank you so much...
your advice has applied very well to me, and I'm really appreciative, and getting better because of it. thank you, really
I guess they are...
hehe, I love this site
don't worry about not sticking around for it, and you have helped, a lot
I'm not going to give up, and I'm really glad I have you guys to help me through this
I know it won't... and thank you for your words
oh goshh
yeah, it is quite a touching story...
Dashy, I love you... I really do, and you mean so much to me... if anything, I'm sorry I put you through this, but I want you to know that you mean so much to me. I love you too, dashy <3
perhaps... there's always two sides to these sorts of things
well, uhm... I still really want to talk to you there; if you'd give me your email, or add me through mine, I'd be really happy c:
they are doing an awesome job, huh?
it does seem really great c:
it's just amazing to see the contrast in those two things
honestly, I had to double take that one. and you read me like a map, I was really excited about that one~
that soldier deserves a medal. and thank you for caring, your words alone are enough to uplift me...
I suppose I will try to talk a lot...
ohmigosh you're right! gotta stick around, hehe...
I, uhm... I'm still not quite sure what the daily /oat/ is, so if i could get a link, that'd be really nice...
thank you for your caring, and for your support.
my gosh, that's quite the insightful quote... must be from a good video game. thank you for this
I'm so sorry to hear such a story... I hope you've found something for yourself in life, and I'm glad you cared enough to share that. thank you so much
that's quite the interesting video... though I was a bit confused of the star wars being dubbed with philosophical stuff, still nice.
I see what you mean. And that's a beautiful thing, finding something to live for. thank you
hehe, thank you anyways
that really means a lot to hear... I'm so glad you guys care so much, really
I don't get it
thank you for your care. I love you too
...gosh, I wasn't expecting this to touch someone to that level... I'm just really glad that you were intentioned enough to try, and your care means a lot to me
sounds like a plan c:
hehe, this place is lovely, huh?
that sounds like it would be lovely...
gosh, I guess I am pretty noteworthy... and I'm really glad you're happy too!
thank you so much for your support, wizard. it's meant so much
hehe, I guess it's true
thank you so much... and I will try to make a lot of art, so thank you for that too
*hug* thank you very much c:
>> No. 2486968
hold tight; I'm not quite done yet. that's just what I had when I started writing that!
>> No. 2486969
File 130673460660.png - (56.25KB , 319x274 , 7078.png )
>> No. 2486970
File 130673466012.jpg - (10.43KB , 240x249 , Shocked_Patrick.jpg )

Dude, you deserve several internets for that
>> No. 2486971
File 130673480675.jpg - (165.14KB , 900x1138 , 1303252802693.jpg )
Holy mutherfuck of jesus you did it!
>> No. 2486972
File 130673561079.png - (785.83KB , 1900x1916 , rosehug.png )

Stayed up much past my bedtime for that. Totally worth it. You're amazing, Cheese.
>> No. 2486973
Just Speechless!
>> No. 2486974
Dear Relic:
Your personality will KILL someone like cheese cake. You NEVER handle a situation as dire as this in that manner. It always ends up in attempted suicide.
I know this for a fact, when my dad told me it couldn't be that bad and that he was much worse off. I tried to hang myself that night, and the beam broke. After I got out of the hospital for a crushed wind pipe, I almost did it again when he tried to force the same story on me.
My god Relic, if I was a mod, I would ban you. You never try to comfort someone so unstable with hate. (And don't say you weren't being hateful, you sounded like it.)
You're not a brony. Bronies spread love and friendship, not loneliness and despair like you are so well adapted to doing. Seriously, I don't want someone to kill themselves because of people like you. I'm going to create a thread about the human's mental condition and how you treat depression so incidents like this wont happen again.
>> No. 2486975
File 130673585786.jpg - (42.79KB , 540x575 , 130395895633.jpg )
Hello cheescake.
I know lots of People have already talked to you and have tried reasoning with you. So many of us care about you. And im glad you came to us to let us know your feelings. And from what is see it looks as if your starting to cheer up.
But i want to know for sure, are you
feeling better now?
>> No. 2486976
thank you very much. I'm glad I know the right decision now
oh, I want to alrighty
hehe, okay
Epic post incoming.
I want to. and if I feel worn out, I'll know I did it assuring you all to the best of my ability how much you really mean to me
thank you so much. I really do want to make people happy, so I suppose living does help in that... thank you
I'm very sorry to hear about your experience then... I'm really glad, though, that you're here to share and be happy. thank you
honestly, that thread was just a little bit of what's been wrong, but I'm trying to be okay
yeah, I know how it is... it can be hard balancing wanting to help and well-being too
I feel as though this thread has really helped me to turn this ship around. I believe it will be worth it, if only to be able to be around people like you. thank you
thank you... I do suppose I have to appreciate being noted as strong, since that's not something I've been easily able to see, I guess. thank you.
oh goshh, um okayy D:
oooh, MGMT! I like them, and this song c:
my word, what's with the /b/ awesomeness pictures? in all seriousness, I do agree that this depression is in my brain. life is just sorta... neutral. reality doesn't care to make us upset; it's up to ourselves to do that, or to be happy. thank you.
I definitely agree. though all of these posts are awesome, I think
thank you. and I'm glad you failed all those times. some failures are good, you know, and I'm so happy you can be here today.
hmm, I've never heard this before. sounds neat!
hopefully there is, and hopefully it will c:
gosh, all this music! I just love hearing it all; really upbeat and stuff
thank you c:
I do feel amazing to be apart of such a community. thank you, and thank you all
I like that line, I really do. it makes me think of this place, how supportive you guys are, and how loving it is. It's honestly a shame that this place has only been around for the infitesimal percentage of the universe's existence
perhaps. though that's an epic picture too!
I do remember you, I think. And I really do appreciate your company. You could never make me want to leave; I promise you that. you're too amazing a person for that. thank you for your care, for your insightful post, and for your love. I can be strong with people like you on this earth to keep me going. thanks again
I'll be saving that e-mail
I'm amazed at it too, really... I was so convinced that my life wasn't going to go on after today. Trust me; it's just as immensely surprising to me as it is to anyone else. thank you
I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm really appreciative you read through that thread too, and I appreciate your kind words so much. as far as the attention whore thing? I do suppose I'll have to refine my definition of that; it's a sensitive spot for me

and, last, but not least...
Please, open your eyes... You have so much in this world; you have all these people to talk to, and to love, you have a loving boyfriend, all those other friends that you talk to all the time. You have your three little rabbits that, although they're easily frightened, they still love you, and appreciate the food and water and love you supply them with, and that you sacrificed the space in your room so they wouldn't be outside. You have much to offer, and though you may not very well be able to see it all the time, you have to perservere. I love you, and you love them. None of us have any reason not to.

thank you all
>> No. 2486977
I feel better now. much better now
>> No. 2486978
File 130673623784.jpg - (50.87KB , 379x520 , 1303600701183.jpg )
Oh god, must screen cap such epicness
>> No. 2486979
File 130673646766.png - (56.25KB , 319x274 , fluttersmile.png )
christ, I hope I didn't forget anypony. if I did, please don't take it to heart, and e-mail me it, so I can tell you personally
my e-mail's included in all my posts
>> No. 2486980
File 130673673234.png - (176.80KB , 1799x923 , Epic Thread 1.png )
Im gonna go ahead and dump these caps now
>> No. 2486981
File 130673674134.jpg - (23.87KB , 600x333 , 1297580275868.jpg )
Looks like I missed something lovingly epic... >>2486979
take care of yourself man! Sincerely Supermeatbrony
>> No. 2486982
File 130673678319.png - (146.85KB , 1801x941 , Epic thread 2.png )
>> No. 2486983
/arch/. Now. Go.
>> No. 2486984
File 130673682419.png - (176.80KB , 1883x940 , Epic thread 3.png )
>> No. 2486985
File 130673685981.png - (141.11KB , 1884x942 , Epic thread 4.png )
Wait let me finish!
>> No. 2486986
File 130673689002.png - (143.14KB , 1885x943 , epic thread 5.png )
>> No. 2486987
File 130673692826.png - (197.55KB , 1893x944 , epic thread 6.png )
>> No. 2486988
File 130673696037.png - (163.77KB , 1893x942 , epic thread 7.png )
>> No. 2486989
File 130673696727.jpg - (33.12KB , 600x456 , duuuude.jpg )
Damn cheese, I didn't think you'd actually go through with it. I literally choked when I saw your posts. The Daily /oat/ is a Newsletter written up on our /oat/ board by our local pirate ARGH! It take news from all over the board and any relevant news about ponies and puts them in one place. It's update between 2-3 times a night depending on how late he wants to stay up. If the recent census he did is close to accurate, he has a couple of hundred readers or so. You can find tonights issue here. >>/oat/35502954

Also Cheese, I want to apologize about how I acted at the start of this. Dealing with my friend killing himself and helping the others here kinda makes a guy think. The one that took his life had a good life. Heck he was already accepted to a college and a week away from graduating. It makes me wonder why he took his life when things were going for him, and yet I'm still here. I want to apologize as I made an assumption about your life before I really decided to think about it. Usually I'm a lot better than that. So sorry. Have some music to lighten the mood!

>> No. 2486990
File 130673698269.png - (164.20KB , 1892x940 , epic thread 8.png )
>> No. 2486991
File 130673701886.png - (149.03KB , 1881x940 , epic thread 9.png )
>> No. 2486992
File 130673705123.png - (116.01KB , 1882x509 , epic thread 10.png )
Last one!

Now go forth and become a legendary arched thread!!!
>> No. 2486993
don't you pay one cent of worry about it, and just be happy, okay? that's all I ask; you've really helped me, anyways.
and thanks for explaining that for me!

though, uhh... do I have to ask to get this archived, or does that just sorta happen when a mod sees, orr...?
I'm not quite sure of that stuff
>> No. 2486994
File 130673716722.jpg - (30.83KB , 600x337 , Cocaine!.jpg )
!!Pinkie Pie, Where are you!!!!!!!!
>> No. 2486995
Well, I'm really glad you're feeling better cheese. Sorry I can't get a post number to reply to, my phone is kind of stupid and difficult t browse the Ponynet on. But I read your conclusion post and it made me cry a little tear of joy. I was so relieved. Also, I'm texting Shimmer right now and he sends you all of his love and support. He says he's sorry he can't be here right now (his dad took away his modem) and that he loves and cares about you and he's really glad you're doing all right now.
>> No. 2486996
File 130673742491.jpg - (28.24KB , 640x480 , robos-tears.jpg )
This is exactly why i refuse to leave this site.
We will be there for you, bro. We will.

Behold, the bringers of light!
>> No. 2486997
File 130673750682.jpg - (23.17KB , 600x471 , 130664549715.jpg )
Not gonna lie, this thread made me cry tears of joy <3

Why can't the world work more like ponychan?
>> No. 2486998
File 130673761759.jpg - (29.22KB , 600x466 , Gentlemen.jpg )
Alright Cheese i'm gonna go, but I want to tell you that this has put my faith back into humanity to some degree, to what degree I don't know but you should know that this is the most amazing thing I've ever been a part of, and that I with the rest of Ponychan love you!
>> No. 2486999
File 130673784066.png - (23.94KB , 380x334 , Autumn.png )
This thread is certainly TL; wanted-to-read-but-don't-have-16-hours-to-read.

cheese, my man. Seen you're posts as I've lurked, and I wanted to apologize for not responding. I had the choice to say something, but I figured someone else would, so I didn't have to. I was wrong, and I'm sorry it hurt you so much that no one responded. Can you forgive me?

I went through a world-shaking bout of depression recently. I had convinced myself that I was no-good. I told myself that I was a pedophile, that I was going to hurt people, that I was the worst human on the planet, and that no wonder God had left me well enough alone (I was wrong there, but that's a story in itself. Another time).

So it got to the point where I was going to kill myself. I had the knife to my wrist, it was going to happen in T-minus three seconds, when my phone rang. It was my ex-girlfriend. She didn't know anything at the time, and she just "felt" that something was up and needed to call me. It delayed my desire to kill myself long enough to question my understanding of myself. Not too long after that, I discovered ponies and Ponychan, and read Twilight's mega-thread, and posted a thread of victory, for ponies brought me to a place where I could think about myself without all of the horrible things that I believed that weren't true. And I got help. And now, three months later, I'm doing better than I've ever done. My life isn't any easier, it's harder, in fact. But I'm stronger for it, and I want you to know that there is hope.

That you can get help. It's not scary to see a Psychologist. But before even doing that, you need to see that you aren't a horrible person. That you're kinda awesome. That there are things about you that are cool because no-one else is like that or thinks that way, or is as interested in that thing as you are. You're a person. You're not trash, you're not worthless, your not horrible. You're you. You're worth something because you are. You exist, therefore your worth is as concrete as the flesh and blood and bone that you are made of. Don't doubt your worth.

You've received encouragement of epic proportions here. And that's awesome. But I'm here to not just encourage you, but to help you get better. You're depressed. You say things in much the same way as I did when I was severely depressed. You need help. You need a change of view. You need to see a doctor. I don't want you to just feel better right now, I want you to feel better for the rest of your life. Things don't get easier as you get older. If you don't purpose to fix this stuff now, you're going to carry it with you forever, and it's forever going to get in the way of you being successful, and no one here wants that.

So here's what you're going to do:
> Tell yourself that you're awesome.
>Keep doing it and hearing it from us, until your brain is full of it.
>Watch some ponies while you do the above.
>Once you can get to a place where you can think about things mostly clearly, sit down, and make a plan for your life.
>First thing on the list: Get professional help.
>Do the things on the list, check them off one at a time, as you accomplish them. Put it up on the wall so you can see it every-day.
>If you need more encouragement, don't be afraid to post here.

Or e-mail me ([email protected]). Or Facebook me (Michael Brothers). I'm here for you. If you want me to help you, I'll help you. But the ball's in your court now. You gotta choose to get better, whatever it takes, and I can't make that decision for you.

>> No. 2487000
okay, sweet dreams~
and thank you for being here
it's okay, for you and shimmer. tell him I'm really thankful of his care though c:
>> No. 2487001
Also, Cheese, you are a trooper and we are all proud of you <3
>> No. 2487002
File 130673804554.png - (192.22KB , 400x372 , 130202131953.png )
lol forgot pic
>> No. 2487003
File 130673805089.jpg - (62.62KB , 472x568 , Pinkie pie smile.jpg )
I'll be honest, I don't know know you that much but would like the opportunity to do so if that's ok with you.

Eventhough I've only seen you a couple of times in the "how are you threads" I'll say what I have said to everybody here who has been in your place...

You'll always find a friend in me
>> No. 2487004
File 130673823758.png - (23.94KB , 380x334 , Autumn.png )
It can. You just made it more like ponychan by participating in this. :)
>> No. 2487006
are you gonna continue replying to threads?
>> No. 2487007
>> No. 2487008
File 130673838248.jpg - (55.46KB , 350x400 , fluttershyguy.jpg )
Listen, There's a lot more things I could say to you, but if you're feeling better, I leave well enough alone.

But if you ever feel yourself slipping again, come back and say something, and don't despair if it takes a couple of topics to get noticed, it happens a lot. Don't stop trying!
>> No. 2487009
I'd really honestly love to be able to do that, but...
I sorta have to get to bed right now
I'm sorry about that...
I'd really love to know you too
feel free to add me on MSN or steam:
[email protected] and theothercheese, respectively
goodnight, everyone, I love you all
>> No. 2487010
File 130673904281.jpg - (20.08KB , 449x339 , ILoveYouAll.jpg )
Good night cheese :)

Also, mfw /arch/ed
>> No. 2487011
File 130674030840.png - (23.94KB , 380x334 , Autumn.png )
Good night, sweet prince. :)

Seeya tomorrow, everypony... wait. It is tomorrow. Whatever...
>> No. 2487012
This is one of the few threads that truely deserve to be in /arch/ not like half of the randomness from /oat/ that is in here. Op just remember you got a truely deserving thread to get into /arch/.

This thread makes me glad I'm part of the community just by lurkin half the time.
>> No. 2487013
File 130674187803.png - (174.13KB , 500x282 , tumblr_ljqtqqkGZw1qa71spo1_500.png )

>mfw ponychan saves a life
>> No. 2487014
are you thinking what im thinking?

the fray
>> No. 2487015
File 130674640440.jpg - (5.12KB , 154x120 , 130562927419.jpg )
I'm so happy right now...
>> No. 2487016
File 130674865972.jpg - (149.94KB , 648x718 , g4boost.jpg )
I can't begin to express with mere words how special our combined coexistence really is. If THIS thread doesn't convince a person that Ponychan is truly magical, nothing will.

This is an amazing story. Cheese, you are an amazing person in the process of overcoming a frightening set of circumstances with every good and honest soul here by your side - including me.

This thread made me cry. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you as well, but I hope you'll at least accept the hugs I have to offer.

*pulls you in close and nuzzles you until he's had his share*

Things will get better, brony. Keep your head up. I love you - and all of you, here at Ponychan.
>> No. 2487017
File 130675035478.jpg - (82.69KB , 1001x915 , 130237679305.jpg )
I didn't see any of this when it was going on, but... wow.

That'll do, Ponychan. That'll do.

I'm so glad to hear that you've reconsidered, Cheese, and I hope that things look up for you in the future. Remember you have friends here.
>> No. 2487018
This thread,

This site,


and that guy in that story about facing fears,

you ALL,


>> No. 2487019
stay strong man
>> No. 2487020
I'm sorry that I didn't post earlier here; I sure am glad that we were able to help you, cheese! I cannot begin to state how proud I am of this community and to be a part of it. The fact that we are able to save lives; to actually, tangibly save lives through our words, is something monumentally special that few other communities or organizations can claim. Ponychan is a very special place. Quite possibly one of the handful few Internet communities that displays unconditional love towards one another. We do not know each other in real life, yet we care for each other and sincerely worry for each other's well-being. Thank you for coming to us, cheese. If you ever need help, or even just feel like talking, do not hesitate for one second to talk to us. It is a very healing experience. In closing, I think I will quote some more song lyrics that I think are very appropriate for this situation.

"Everypony, everypony will listen
Even if it hurts sometimes
If you will, come and hear the message
Everypony wants to learn to love again
Open up and come alive
If you will, can you hear my message?
Leave your pain on the bedroom floor again
Bring a smile to survive
And do you think that you have that in you
If you're here and you're all alone tonight
Then I'll give you a free ride
Take a chance 'cause I know you want to.

I've got a lotta, whole hell of a lot to say
Even if it hurts sometimes
And if you will come and hear the message
And everypony, everypony will hope and pray
That the best will sure survive
And if it's true then you'll feel the message
A perfect life for a perfect brand new day
And you're the next in line
And do you think that you have it in you?
So if you're here and you're curious tonight
Then I'll give you a free ride
Take a chance 'cause I know you want to."

"Valkyrie Missile" -Angels and Airwaves

We love you, cheese. Never forget that. :)
>> No. 2487021
My heart was getting a little cold without those ponies. Thanks to you all you've thawed it, reminding me of the first time I watched season one. In fact I'm gonna rewatch it, but that's beside the point. You guys are all epic, never stop. I can't believe I'm squealing over this.
>> No. 2487022
File 130676286566.png - (165.59KB , 311x310 , Snake_salute.png )
I know I'm kinda late...

But don't just throw life away like that, it's all you get. I know, it's a sucky little gift, but hey, a gift is a gift!
We all go through depressions, and make mistakes. It's normal.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake, you just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake.
Yeah, I know, I'm quoting that silly song from Portal, but for some reason that line always gives me hope. I'm kinda semi-failing school right now, but I won't give up because of some little mistake. And it's quite a while 'till I run out of cake.

So hang in there.
>> No. 2487024
I know it's kinda late, being as everything has already happened and this thread is probably buried deep within /Arch/ by now, I thought I would post this music, which has been super good for me to help get over life sucking :D

>> No. 2487025
File 130677066323.png - (113.85KB , 385x385 , 130307122990.png )
Wow, you replied to every post? What a champ.
>> No. 2487028
File 130677145944.png - (103.04KB , 800x595 , 130090183262.png )
Isnt he ???

I am amazed about how awesome you are Cheese. Everypony keeps telling me but compared to you i am just a little light in a storm while you are a Sun.

Hold onto life my dear Friend, and never ever think only one second that you might not be welcome here cause you are always.

My Respect, Love and Friendship ... you have earned it (well you had it to begin with but ... wow)
>> No. 2487032
Seconded to death. :D
>> No. 2487982
I love this...
I love everypony here.

Cheese, if you still want to, we can talk in private. But somepony is crossing the same road you crossed:

>> No. 2510812
File 131880003263.jpg - (6.86KB , 223x160 , images.jpg )
Today I learned that because you've lost somepony you loved most dearly doesn't mean you can't recover. No matter how you choose to live, you'll always have challenges to overcome, and there is no reason you shouldn't try your hardest to overcome each and every last one of them.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
>> No. 2510836
I hereby declare that this thread and everypony who posted a helpful thought in it are awesome. Cheese is now awesomer than before, and is now reaching the level of epic. You overcame your thoughts and are still alive, thankfully, and shall revel in Ponychan history.

This thread is a perfect example of why I love this community. And thank you all for brightening my day by being awesome.


>> No. 2510837
If you don't mink me asking, what was your mother pushing on you so drastically?
>> No. 2510855
my dear cheese.
i cant tell you what to do. or how to deal with this. but i have some experience in the same matter and i know what i did. and i came out pretty good with it.

my mother hates me: because i did not become the man she wanted me to be. she actually said she didnt care about my future anymore.

My father rejects me: he left my mother when i was 1 year old due to the fact that there was no love for me in his heart. when ever i see him wich is quite often. and it is only random, he doesnt even talk or look at me.

My grandparents: recent me due to theyre belief i ruined my mother and fathers lives.

and the list goes on, and yes i cried and i hated myself and life as we know it, but at the end i learned something.

there is no love without hate. there is no good without evil. there is no happiness without sorrow.
basically life is shit and it always will be.

the thing i realized i had to do, was to play a game with them all. i knew they hated me. so i began hating them, but i didnt show it.
instead i played the happy son who loved his family and would do anything for them, and so i did.

to begin with they didnt respond well to my sudden change of personality, but after some weeks they grew accustomed to it.

for 5 years i played this role, for 5 fucking hard fucked up years i had to do everything i hate for the people that resented me.

and then came the day when i moved out from my mothers. i was 18 at that time.
it was the best thing that had ever happened to me, no more playing what they wanted me to be, no more trying to be somepony i wasnt and NO more Family!!!

yes it is harsh when you abandon all the people that should have been there for you, and you should always have been there for them. but when they break the bond. and they are not willing to recreate it, then fuck em.

they are not worth it and if they arent willing to try to get back to how it should have been, then they never will be worth your time either.

this is a long post about hate, anger, misery and sorrow. but humans are designed to suffer. we have created a world where certain few have to have a crappy life for others to succeed.
there is no exceptions for this rule. everypony has days where it suck to be them, and for some its worse than others.

but there is one thing you can do about the loss of family, and loved ones. i have 3 friends. only 3. but they are the best friends i could wish for, and i would sacrifice myself for everypony of them, they are more worth than my mother would ever be.

My dear Cheese. i hope you will be able to get your life back on track, i know its hard, and it sucks so fucking bad, but keep moving brony.

we care. and we want you to get to the end of your story, as i will se mine through as well
>> No. 2511709
Wow. I just read this on /arch/, and I can't even begin to describe just how touching this story is. I'm glad things seem to be working out for the better for Cheese, and I am just in awe at the sheer amount of love everypony has demonstrated in this thread. It's things like this that make me proud to be part of this fandom. Stay strong, Cheese.
>> No. 2512662
Truly, a heartwarming story, Cheese. A prime example that there is still some good in the human race.
>> No. 2512999
Don't worry cheese

We all love you.
>> No. 2513622
File 132924915021.jpg - (29.48KB , 577x347 , MLP_Bronies_Will_catch_you.jpg )
It took me several hours to go through this whole thread. I can't express enough how much I love this community for its creativity, guts and overall friendliness that engulfs us all. Seeing complete strangers reach out their hands/hooves in a form of kind words and advice, you can help but feel proud.
This community has changed lives for the better and now it has saved one.
>> No. 2513623
I have a similar problem (although i doubt mine is as bad as your's), my mom is always yelling at me every chance she gets and school got me really depressed in the beginning of the year to the point that I was was close to becoming an emo, but i just went with it. I quickly was able to make a new friend and that same friend got me into being a brony (although it took like 4 months). Trust me, if you hit a big ditch in life, the climb back up is slow, but you'll always come out higher than before.
>> No. 2513624
I have a similar problem (although i doubt mine is as bad as your's), my mom is always yelling at me every chance she gets and school got me really depressed in the beginning of the year to the point that I was was close to becoming an emo, but i just went with it. I quickly was able to make a new friend and that same friend got me into being a brony (although it took like 4 months). Trust me, if you hit a big ditch in life, the climb back up is slow, but you'll always come out higher than before.
>> No. 2513635
So I scrolled down and found out you all really helped this poor guy.

Hey, guys.


And OP: It gets better. Don't worry. It always does.
>> No. 2513710
Hey cheese, Im a person who experienced just what you have and i have thought of SUCIDE. I felt my mother didnt understand me she said it was my imagination but i dont believe that and still dont today.Plus I also felt paim from so much people in my life. And believe me i was just like you, had friends but there not anymore I thought they hated me but now I tell myself SCREW them and today i have made new friends but feel has if they think im boring but ther pretty nice. At school people bully me but thanks to my little pony friendship is magic taught me those comments go in one ear and out the other. So your not alone stay strong. Why dont we talk some more some time kay?
>> No. 2513723

Hey cheese!, quite new to ponychan but took the time to read the thread and I just want to show my support. Suicide may seem a viable and tempting option, but it throws so much away. Some things in life are hard and bad, but everything isn't and it's those things it's worth living for, my friend! I talk partly out of own experience, recognice some of the feelings you describe and I also had thoughts about suicide. Also out of own experience: Just be you and be proud of who you are, and things will get better, I promise! Don't know if this will help you, but at least wanted to try!
>> No. 2513803
My faith in humanity has been restored.
>> No. 2513829
Anonymous I love you.
>> No. 2513831
File 133333504387.jpg - (84.94KB , 648x838 , hugs.jpg )
have a hug
>> No. 2516591

Alone by Edgar Allen Poe:

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then-in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life-was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

This poem pretty much sums up how I felt at my lowest point. But I would like to point out a line: "From every depth of GOOD and ILL" Life has its ups and downs.
Sometimes it flat out just tries to steamroll you over, but at other times it can be so beautiful, it just makes you cry tears of unexplainable joy. This thread is kind of old, but if your still going through problems, just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep searching and you'll eventually find it. The fact that a show like My Little Pony even exists is proof that there is good in the world.
>> No. 2516923

Turns out I know cheese from another site. He seems to be doing much better now.

Foohorb, all of you. Evissam foohorb.
>> No. 2516925
I know exactly how you feel, I myself, when in highschool, seriously contemplated suicide and came to a similar decision not to inflict my death on others. Please keep hope alive in your heart because things will eventually get better. I am now 35 and while I struggle with depression and occasionally feel life is too tough to keep trying, I now have plenty of reason to live.
The best thing for you to do is to keep trying to make friends (be prepared for much heartbreak before you find friends worthy of you, but it will be fully worth it when you do)
I hope this next part doesn't come off too preachy, but It's too important to leave out.
Jesus is the one who preserved me through the worst times and He can do the same for you. if you are of a skeptical bent like I am, you will find much proof for His existence in Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ" and Josh McDowell's "Evidence that Demands a Verdict"
I wish you the peace and strength that He gave me
>> No. 2516938
If there was ever any proof that this fandom is more than just a bunch of men watching a children show, then this is it.

Everypony here has been so kind and caring. It has restored my faith in humanity. :)
>> No. 2516939
watch mlp.. the all your life probs are solved
>> No. 2516940
also may i add that it will get better. for now make good freinds and check for replys here i know every pony here is kind and (no homo) loving just think positivity and no about well you know what
>> No. 2516941
Please don't talk about how good we have it when we bare our emotions before you. As somepony who has been through deep despair and come out the other side (mostly) AND recognizes the truth of your statement, please know that when we're in the lowest part of our life, we have no emotional strength left for holding statements at arms length and every little bit of criticism is like getting kicked in the teeth.
we don't need to know that we have it better than others, we need to know that we are not alone in our pain and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't an oncoming train. Go ahead and share your story, but do it to give us hope, especially because our tolerance of pain is different and what you can bear my not be bearable by others

CHEESE, I hope you're still watching this thread, because I can tell you I also didn't believe it could ever get better.
There was much in my life that hurt me horribly and I don't remember a time from my earliest memory to my attempt at going to college where I wasn't depressed.
The worst time was in Highschool while I was over my mother's house for the weekend and my father called to tell me that he was changing the locks on the doors and my stepmother was packing up my clothes "for me". All I could believe was that I was being kicked out of my home.
I am now 35 and have been happily married for 13 years and am SO GLAD I chose not to kill myself. (yes, it was a long and hard decision that I thought about constantly)
I can PROMISE you that the best is yet to come and if you stick with it, you WILL have a happy life. All you need to do (and yes, I know this will be hard) is keep searching for friends that you can talk to face to face and bare your soul to. This will take a long time and you will get hurt many many times, but when you find that friend, it will be worth it (and, no, the friend I found was not my wife, spouses usually can't meet this need)
I do sometimes have mild relapses, but I can now recognize that it is a passing thing and can seek out friends to bear me up
>> No. 2516952
File 134352066647.jpg - (24.92KB , 422x428 , WELL+where+to+begin+First+off+_2e3e576711bf5ad8cdf302bed48da093.jpg )
There are always other options
>> No. 2516954
Dude, i know where ur at. U feel like the reason u r the reason ur life sucks , but wait your everything can change, in a moments time.just pray, call suicide hotline or aa they can really help. Your not alone my friend.Rob~
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