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2509922 No. 2509922
Last night I posted this here:

>Pic

That night was the most terrifying night of my life. Last night I posted here on /arch/ and something beautiful happened. I got help I've been afraid to ask for for neigh on three years.

I want the people who helped me last night to know what steps I've taken today. I called a suicide hotline last night and talked till about 3am. I locked up my gun and mailed the key to my brother. I told him not to ask why in the letter. I looked up a depression support group that meets on Saturdays, which I'll attend as often as my work will allow. I'm also going to bring a copy of every post to share.

I thought all day about what everyone said last night. I've wanted nothing more than to find a way to express my gratitude to you all. Everything I can offer falls short, but I would feel ungrateful to offer nothing at all. This is what I've come up with:

Issac Clarke: Short and sweet. Your words held in them undeniable truth. Thank you.

Lawny: You offered a very bright outlook and reminded me that there are things that I'm not alone in. Thank you.

Anonymous (**I wish I had a name to thank.): You reminded me of loved ones that didn't deserve to be put through such a selfish act. Thank you.

Rivet the Machinist: You offered reassuring words that life will get better. Thank you.

Dazzle: You showed me that I've been fighting for this long and that I owed it to myself to continue that fight. Than you.

Anonymous(**): You reminded me that I'm not alone in loneliness. Thank you.

Anonymous(**): The link you provided was worth the read. Thank you.

Ror: Strong words. They came to me in a time I needed strength. Thank you.

Chocolate-Mint Swirl: The words you offered reinforced very important truths. Thank you.

Anonymous(**): You asked if I would miss all of you. I knew the answer immediately. It's a question I should have asked myself. Thank you.

Fenolio: Your words ensured me that I should not feel bad about asking for help, and that there is a community I can lean on. Thank you.

Starshine: You showed me that people can come out of a bad situation, with work. Thank you.

N: Love. I am loved, and you reminded me. The number you gave me was the one I called. Thank you.

Anonymous(**): You offered words that you didn't feel could help. They did. Your personal experiences helped me because you shared. Thank you.

Nocturnal: You showed me there is a bright side to my degree. Reminded me there were friends a can and should reach out too. Thank you.

MPerce: You offered your love. It means more than I think you know. Thank you

The Soldier: You told me that I control my life, not my surroundings. I can make my life what I want it to be. I want it to be happy. Thank you.

Dragon Named Red: Life can be hard, but it will never be impossible. I knew this once. I know it again now because of you. Thank you.

Ketaset: You cared for me. No need for eloquence. It's beautiful enough to know. Thank you.

Ls777: You offered your time and your ear. Thank you.

Pranky Pie: "No where to go but up". True words. Thank you.

Rainy Days: Strength that was not clear to me was brought to light by you. Thank you.

Sumec: Your words gave me hope. Hope that this pain can lead me to something important. Something good. Thank you.

Starlight Ironhoof: An extended hand of friendship did more for me than you know. Thank you.

Sgt Funshine: The links you provided were greatly appreciated. I'm listening to Beck as I type this. Thank you.

Dr. Doom: A push towards some professional is something that I've been needing. I look forward to my first meeting this Saturday. Thank you.

Amonisis: There is strength in love. You gave me strength... that's something I know I will need in my times ahead. Thank you.

Crimson Risk: Knowing that there are people on the other side of how I feel reassures me there is a way to get there. Your words were powerful. Thank you.

Goddard: Your words were those of power and strength, words I will remember. "Life is the emperor's currency, spend it well." That image was expertly picked. Thank you.

I wish I had the time and skill with words to write a page to each of you. My only hope is that everyone who helped me sees this. You are all beautiful souls.

Know that I love you.

(I've cried throughout the entirety of typing this up so please forgive any typos.)

If I missed anyone, I am deeply sorry. I read every post and each one gave me something I desperately needed to hear that night.

Thank you.

(USER WAS AN AMAZING PERSON FOR THIS POST)
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>> No. 2509923
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2509923
Glad to hear you're doing okay and getting the help, buddy.
>> No. 2509924
i just died in ur arms tonite

it musta been somethin you saaaaid
>> No. 2509925
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2509925
No problem.
>> No. 2509926
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2509926
I'm so glad you're okay, Wisdom...

*hugs*
>> No. 2509927
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2509927
Holy crap! this must of taken you forever!

dude, you are amazing, and i am so proud that you have decided to take these steps to help yourself. i fukkin love you mate!
>> No. 2509928
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2509928
>Dazzle: You showed me that I've been fighting for this long and that I owed it to myself to continue that fight. Than you.

Anytime bro
>> No. 2509929
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2509929
>>2509922

You're very welcome, Brony.

I'm just trying to say what the councilors said to me. But if the thoughts ever come back, God forbid, don't be afraid to seek help.
>> No. 2509930
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2509930
Hey...we're always here. I hope you remember this if you ever find yourself feeling hopeless again and turn to us first. We'll always be glad to help.

And I'm glad my useless words did somehow lend some help....
>> No. 2509931
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2509931
Wish I could have contributed.
>> No. 2509932
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2509932
I am so glad to hear people on here were able to help. Situations like that are scary and I've been down similar roads, and I'm glad you had the strength to reconsider your actions and to get the help you deserve and need.

Keep on keeping on, man. We all love you!
>> No. 2509933
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2509933
>>2509922
>Anonymous(**): You asked if I would miss all of you. I knew the answer immediately. It's a question I should have asked myself. Thank you.
That was me :D
>> No. 2509934
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2509934
This post is going to be screencapped and put in my "This is why I visit ponychan" folder

I'm extremely happy you sought help, that was the right thing to do, love ya bro
>> No. 2509935
I am so glad that we were all able to help you in your time of need.

I love you. You and all my other Bronies.
>> No. 2509936
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2509936
You're welcome, Brony.
I'm just glad that you are doing better.
>> No. 2509937
I am crying. I... Just... Wow... I'm so glad I could help you.

I love you bro! I don't know what to say right now. Thank you so much for calling that number.

You're gonna get the help you need! You did the right thing and I'm so proud of you =]
>> No. 2509938
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2509938
Darn another help thread that I missed
Well im glad to see there wasnt a short of anypony willing to help
yay
>> No. 2509939
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2509939
For all the crap the internet gets there really are a few moments and places that stand out as a testament for what a global network can accomplish.
Beck is great, that guy has been doing it his way since day one.
Glad to help brony.
>> No. 2509940
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2509940
oh wow! you guys are amazing for helping Wisdom out.

i love you all so much for this :)
>> No. 2509941
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2509941
You seem on the right track. Way to go brony!
>> No. 2509942
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2509942
>>2509922
I never saw your thread last night.. :c
But I wanna be your friend!

Hi~ I'm Blazing Starshine. :3
>> No. 2509943
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2509943
I missed it too sadly... but thankfully, I wasn't needed.


What a truly wonderful thing... ♥
>> No. 2509944
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2509944
Thank you all. I was hoping that everyone from the night before could see this. I know that might not be possible with the speed of /arch/.

I can't get on here often, but I will try to thank anyone who didn't make it to this thread personally.

Since I love movies, but I lack in graceful writing skills I would like to leave a movie quote here for those who helped me... for everyone here at ponychan.

"I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."

I love you all, and I appreciate your love.
>> No. 2509945
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2509945
>>2509944
I'm so glad to hear you're better. It really lifts my spirits and fills my heart with joy to see that this community still has it in them to help those who truly need it.

I'm so glad to hear you're doing well, and know that you've made me feel a lot better as well.
>> No. 2509946
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2509946
Mods don't lie.

I'm damn proud of you, Wisdom
>> No. 2509947
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2509947
>pic related

Life is a beautiful thing. Although I was out at the time and unable to help you. I'm glad to see that you're still in one peace
>> No. 2509948
This is very good to hear.
Have fun!
>> No. 2509949
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2509949
>>2509922

I made the image as soon as I saw this thread. I'm so happy for you. I have the stupidest expression on my face. I'm exstatic!
>> No. 2509950
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2509950
Glad you're okay, Wisdom. Bronies never leave each other in need. Whenever you need us, we'll be there for you. I'm proud of your strength in character that it took to make those decisions and hope you have the life you've always dreamed of.
>> No. 2509951
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2509951
That was touching. I'm glad for what you did, well done.
>> No. 2509952
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2509952
It's great to hear the bronies could help. I hope you are able to work through this time and find happiness again. I look forward to hearing about it!
>> No. 2509953
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2509953
Thank you for the archive requests, we are going to let this thread live for a little bit and then move it to /arch/ in a few hours.

Wisdom, your story is truly inspirational, thank you for sharing all of this with the community.
>> No. 2509954
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2509954
>>2509953
THREAD SCREEN CAPPED!
>> No. 2509955
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2509955
>>2509953
yay

It was, and I'm glad this is being archived.
>> No. 2509956
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2509956
>>2509953
>> No. 2509957
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2509957
>>2509922
Don't mention it. Still glad you decided to seek help.
>>2509953
>pic
>> No. 2509958
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2509958
>>2509953
Thank you so much everyone. I don't know what to say.

I'm crying right now.

You have all given me so much. I want to live right now. That's a lot more than I can say for a long time.

I love each and everyone of you. I won't let this second chance go to waste.

>This reaction pic I have that feels right.
>> No. 2509959
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2509959
>>2509958
>hugs Wisdom
>> No. 2509960
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2509960
>>2509958
> every time i tried to type something to say, it didnt sound right
>so ill go with a simple, we love you
>> No. 2509961
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2509961
good stuff.
>> No. 2509962
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2509962
>Try to take a break from Ponychan
>see this thread
>Guess I'm not taking as much of a break as I thought

OP, your story is amazing, and is a testament to the quality and beauty of this community. Ponies are great, being silly and messing around is great. But the reason I always come back is because of the love here. The love that can help pull a person in their darkest hour back from the brink of suicide. OP, you are a boss. Everypony else in the community, you are too. I love you all

>resumes lurking
>> No. 2509963
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2509963
Aw man! I can't believe I missed this! It would've been a great chance for me to slam in another text-wall, but it looks like everything went well anyway.

I love all of you guys for always being there for everyone. While I'm away at school, you guys are still making magic happen over here. Glad you're feeling better, Wisdom, and I'm sorry I couldn't have been there for you.
>> No. 2509964
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2509964
>>2509963

I know everyone here would have lent a hand. I love all of you.

I'm going to stay in touch best I can. I want you all to know that what you did for me could possibly have the greatest influence on my life I have ever experienced.

Thank you.
>> No. 2509965
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2509965
Seeing you and all the responses you got and the support you had is truly an image of inspiration. There are so many that think we don't do anything, or other ponies that feel that ponychan is not the way it used to be. I guess this proves that though they are right, they are more wrong than ever. True, ponychan isn't the same as it once was, it's even more incredible than ever before. I wish I could have been a part of this too, but your life and health are much more important, and I'm glad to see so many come to your aid.

Just remember if you ever need a lift in your spirits or a shoulder to cry on, we're all hear, waiting and ready to help you any way we can.
>> No. 2509966
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2509966
Sorry, I wasn't here to help..
Everypony else seemed to be.
Stupid preppy cheerleading practice and homework and shit getting me grounded for lack of time to do other shit.
>> No. 2509967
>>2509958

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEFa1f_WCms

One of my favorites, and something I always think of when I see a story like this.

You are a wonderful person Wisdom. And you're strong. It takes strength to realize you need help, it takes strength to seek support. It took strength to call that number. It takes strength to go to weekly meetings.

I see a bright future for you my friend! I am so proud of you and happy for you =]
>> No. 2509968
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2509968
This should be my last post for the night. Work comes far too early tomorrow. I feel like a broken record, but I don't think saying it a million times over could do this any justice.

Thank you.

I love you Bronies.
>> No. 2509969
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2509969
>>2509968
have yourself a damn fine sleep! you earned it!
>> No. 2509970
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2509970
Keep fighting, WIsdom. There are things in life worth fighting for and people who will stand with you if you look hard enough. Judging by this thread it seems you have found them. This includes me.
>> No. 2509975
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2509975
This thread
>> No. 2509982
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2509982
>mfw this thread
>> No. 2510003
There ought to be another board for stuff where just /arch/ing the thread doesn't do it justice. Maybe have it called /legend/, or perhaps /hof/.

And yes, this belongs in the above.
>> No. 2510046
Suicide is never the answer.. hope you understand this OP :) I've red your story and really sounds tough living your life.. but isn't life basically like that? One time you're up and the next you're down. You may be down now but trust me, your life WILL be better! I've experienced that first-hand :) Just keep your head up, smile and deal with it. You'd be surprised on how the end will turn out! All the best, sincerely, CreziFella
>> No. 2510060
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2510060
>>2510046
I... Find that debatable.

Seeing as how I've been thinking about it daily fo over he last year and a half, at one point it's going to become to tiring to give a crap and I'll just do it.
>> No. 2510061
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2510061
>>2510060
I know how you feel. I've felt that way for a long time myself, but I've been seeking help. If you're posting here then I think you are seeking it too.

What brings you to feel so low?

Lets talk about it. I know it helped me. I think it can help you too.
>> No. 2510064
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2510064
>>2510061
I'm not really seeking it... well perhaps some part of my psyche is seeking it, but directly I am not.

Long story short. Love, and losing it.

I finally found somepony that made all the shit life throws at me worthwhile, and then she just gets taken away from me! It's not fair.

I actually made a noose at work with a Macintosh power cable (I call it the iNoose) it's funny how no one at work questions it.
>> No. 2510066
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2510066
>>2510064
I'm very sorry to hear about your lose. I know that it is hard to lose a person that makes life feel so good.

The important thing is to remember how that person made you feel though. If there is even the slightest chance that you could feel that way again, don't you think that it's at least worth a try?

I didn't think I wanted help either. I didn't even know why I made that post. Once I saw that there were people who cared... people who loved me just for being me, I knew why.

You feel alone. Like you're trapped on an island with no escape. I know this because I felt the same way. There are people, reaching for you. People that don't want to see you slip into oblivion. Reach back. You're to special to go to leave us just yet.
>> No. 2510067
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2510067
>>2510066
Actually I, for all intensive purposes, vanished off the internet In February of 2010... the 18th if I remember correctly, which would be about 2 months since I last kissed her (December 18th 2009).

I know there are plenty of people that care about me, but that doesn't even begin to fill the gigantic gaping whole in my existence that has only been growing larger since she left.

I wish I had a gun, maybe then she'd care

instead of ignoring me, and posting all those lovey dovey pictures of her and her new boyfriend

And she even says she cares about me. *HMPH*

And why not leave yet? Any of us could die at any given moment, so why put off the inevitable?

I could write articles on everything that has gone through my head over the last 20 months, but I'm sure no one gives a shit.

I've actually carved her name into my leg, but due to... promises I'm not sure why I keep, I haven't cut in over 6 moths, to be honest I miss the blood.
>> No. 2510068
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2510068
>>2510067
It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of anger and frustration. I am sorry.

It sounds like you loved this person very deeply. I think that says so much good about you as a person. You have so much love to offer, and I know that there is a person who will one day have just as much love for you.

It is true that every person will leave this world one day. With that being said, why rush to get to that end? There are so many experiences waiting for you in your life. Wonderful experiences that will never happen for you if you don't give them a chance.

It sounds like you have been suffering for some time. I think it is a testament to your strength that you are still here with me today. Don't let your strength go to waste by cutting your fight short.

Every persons time will come one day, but Know this. That time is not now. You have a life that you deserve to live.

You deserve it. It is your right, and it is precious. The worst thing you can do right now is not live it to the potential I know you have.

Don't give in.
>> No. 2510070
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2510070
>>2510068
(Oh how I wish 4chan x worked on there boards)

Well ever since then (where then = Janurary 1st 2010) all I've been able to listen to is metal.
Slayer, Megadeth Lamb Of God, Made Of Hate. Anger is like all I really care to feel anymore.

If you care to read it here's a note I wrote about... well how I view the world for the most part... Actually it's a bit dated but the read is still good (Thought I can't say it's in anyway family friendly) http://pastebin.com/33fTAkPd

Feel free to ask questions (about the note) if you have them after reading it.

And now more and more things are piling up, like going back to school to classes I hate for a major I don't care about at a school I only attend because... I don't even know why. With all the choices life gives it appears that none of them are ever worthwhile...
>> No. 2510071
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2510071
>>2510070
I read your note.

The things that race through your mind...
From what I can gather you are a very brilliant individual. You feel things on a different level than most people. The world needs more people like you.

I think it takes a very special person to see all of the bad in the world and not shut it out. You're not one of the people that hypnotize themselves with Jersey Shore. You care about the world. The world is a bad place, but it can be worse. It can be without you.

Just by acknowledging the things you put in your letter you are in a better position to do more good than most. I am not going to pretend that one day it will all be rainbows and sunshine. I'm not going to say that every wrong can be righted.

I will say this. Ending your story here and now would be a tragedy worthy of the very first line of your note. There is so much good you can do for the world and so much good you can do for yourself.

Without people like you in this world, life would truly not be worth living.

I love you. Know that when I say that, I say it with the most truth and sincerity I have ever found to utter those words. I love you.
>> No. 2510072
>>2510071
I'm feeling ill and I'm turning in for the night. I bookmarked this thread and I'll probably be back sometime tomorrow.
>> No. 2510077
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2510077
>>2510072
Well I hope for your good health. I'll keep an eye out for you. I want you to know that you are important to me.

Thank you for sharing all that you have. I look forward to continuing our conversation.

I love you Brony. Remember that. You are loved.

I want you to have my cell number. 386-341-9408

If you can't find me on here tomorrow, please call me.

You have my love friend.
>> No. 2510081
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2510081
>>2510060
Then be like OP here and call a suicide hotline, and get appointments set up for therapy.

If it's bugging you day by day, then the time to call is now, not later.
>> No. 2510082
Anon, we love you. You're a good person. Life took a big dump on your plate - It happens to the best of us.

But you can pull through. These are only temporary setbacks. You can recover from them and lead a happy and fulfilling life - In fact, you will do just that. The odds are far in your favor and it would be absolutely stupid for you to throw it all away.

You need to think about some things. I saw that you don't like your major. Then why are you taking it? Switch it to something you enjoy. Don't settle for less because some other person told you you had to. Life is yours. Make it your bitch. You have complete control, because you are a strong and smart individual.

1-800-273-8255

This is the number I told OP to call. OP did that, and they helped him. Just a few days ago he had a gun to his head. Look at how positive is his outlook today.

They are professionals. We're just a bunch of posters on an internet forum. That number gets you free professional help and will save your life - Not just your physical, biological life, but it will make your life better and more enjoyable. It will make it worth it. They will help you overcome your pain.

Please make the call. We love you and care about you. You're not alone and you don't have to fight this alone.
>> No. 2510084
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2510084
Hey Anon.

I know how you feel. There was somepony close to me in my life long ago. Having her around seemed to make things more bearable. We had so many close talks and despite all the pain and frustration of my work and my life, having her around just made things a little better. Then she got married. I had to sit through that wedding.

I was very distraught. There was more than a few times when I was driving home that I thought about swerving into oncoming traffic. During the week I questioned myself why. Especially since I had every chance of being her boyfriend, or even me being the groom but I didn't take it. In fact I said no.

I loved her, but she wasn't the right one for me and my future. I knew deep down that we weren't meant for one another. It doesn't mean that losing her didn't hurt like hell, but it does mean that I knew what was best for both of us.

Well that was rather roundabout, but basically I know it hurts. It's a horrible pain and you want it to stop. From what I can see it looks like you keep obsessing over her. You need to let her go and move on. It's scary as hell, I know. You have no idea if the pain will be worse, or if something terrible will happen. Trust me, it will be okay. And one day you'll meet that girl. One that blows her out of the water and gives you everything you need. And you'll marry her and be with her forever. But you have to let go, let the wounds heal, and move along.

I believe in you. You've stayed so strong and kept going through all of this. Don't give up now.
>> No. 2510085
Don't make the mistake of taking your own life. Dying in vain is the worst way to go. live your life in your own colour.
>> No. 2510086
*huggies*
>> No. 2510093
File 131525457662.gif - (763.49KB , 640x540 , 1314425659812.gif )
2510093
>>2510077
Back, though I feel sick still, which is a fantastic way to start a school year, ill.

I apologize if I don't call, I'm not really a... talker. I don't like talking on the phone, not entirely sure why. Probably some deep seeded self confidence/esteem issues.

I've actually seen a psychologist for... about 14 years, mostly for my ADHD and then for... my first suicidal episode (October 2008) which was basically me digging into my wrists during homecoming (it's fun to watch somepony else dance with your crush, ain't it?).

I actually had a suicide intervention, saw a local physiologist (who was kind of a douche) and then saw my regular one all within the span of five days, while still having to go to school during the day..

Damn I miss high school, actually being able to see my friends, the structure of the day, the chance to actually... I don't know, enjoy myself occasionally.

>>2510081
I'd prefer not to call them. Probably because I'd prefer to continue wanting to die.. Actually one of my close friends called them, and the person she got actually said they needed to hang up.. It's gotten to the point where I expect that'd happen to me, and it wouldn't even phase me; the numbness is bad like that.

>>2510082
I hate my major, but it's all I'm good at that I actually care about. Computer Information Systems, which is basically just programming. I have no idea what I'd want to do, and really I only tolerated my major while I was still with Shana, coding is too monotonous for me to even care about it but computers are my major skill set.. There are really too many of us, computer people that is, the job market is drying up except for the specialized areas.. As far plotwitching to something I'd enjoy... I don't really enjoy anything anymore.. I've gotten to the point where all I really do is exist.

>>2510084
I actually pictures her getting married to her boyfriend. Let's say I couldn't see myself smiling more than I would blowing my brains out at the ceremony. And she is the one that blew the other one out of the water.. My first major unrequited love lasted 14 months, then I got my first girlfriend and had my first kiss... she broke up with me 3 days later, and I never really got an explanation, so I was just stuck on her for 8 months until I started talking to Shana more... and I got to date Shana for about... lemme see... 55 days..

I actually did the math on it. "Given projections I have off of previous... attachments I will 'get over her' in aproximately 11 years 11 months 25 days 1 hour 0 minutes 0 seconds from Janurary 1st 2010"

>>2510085
A nice Blood Red. #CE0018
With some nice gore red. #940008
>> No. 2510095
File 131525584347.png - (156.00KB , 600x470 , 130938486961.png )
2510095
>>2510093
I've had this page up all day waiting to hear back from you. I wish that I had words that I could offer. I wish there was some phrase I could utter that would make all the hurt go away. I want nothing more than to see a smile across your face.

You are a very beautiful soul. It hurts my heart to know that you feel such woe. I wish that we could communicate directly. I understand if you don't want to call right now. If you change your mind on that, know that the offer will always be good 24/7.

I haven't known you for long by any definition of the word, but I know that losing you would be a pain unbearable. I love you man. please. Know that I love you.
>> No. 2510097
File 131526088293.png - (282.97KB , 526x353 , Shy Fluttersmile.png )
2510097
>>2510093
Hello Anon...

It seems like you are in a very difficult and painful situation... I'm very sorry to hear that...

You mentioned that you want to die? I wonder, anon, why do you feel that way? It certainly seems like you are feeling very depressed... Is it largely related to your previous relationship, or do you feel like there are other things that are making you feel this way?

Just as the other ponies say, anon, we do care about you! And we would love to understand how you are feeling to the best of our ability. Sometimes things can get so hard... nopony should have to hold those dark feelings, locked inside of them. Feel free to share, anon! I would love to listen.
>> No. 2510099
File 131526270572.jpg - (2.47KB , 99x100 , pinkie hug.jpg )
2510099
>>2510093
Hi there, Anon! It sounds like you really care a lot for this girl... I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through such suffering. If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you just let her go? It seems like this is really hurting you, and I’d love to help. You are a special person... there is only one person like you in the whole wide world! There are so many places you could go, and so many people that you could meet and get close to and love, just as you loved her! And how privileged they would be to meet you!

Sometimes, things can be very difficult... sometimes, the things others do can hurt us very deeply. And sometimes, the only thing we can do is cry and move forward. Tomorrow is always different and always new! There are so many possibilities out there for you... so many opportunities yet unrealized! There are moments waiting for you that will fill your soul with joy, that will make you want to sing!

I wouldn’t want to see that thrown all away... You are one of a kind. Your experiences, your feelings... the things that make you who you are... if we lose them, we’ll never get them back, Anon! We care very much about you... All of us do. Please talk with us. Help us to understand and do the best we can for you!
>> No. 2510123
File 131535027887.gif - (614.78KB , 343x318 , 1314462591245.gif )
2510123
>>2510095
But I'm just anonymous... If I vanished from the net it'd be like I never existed... But.. Thanks..

Have you by chance read "My Dream Mare"? I actually really liked that story... it made me want to be able to fly through the skies like Dash... But then I tumble back down to reality...

>>2510097
I'm not entirely sure.. I believe it has something to do with being raised on Disney movies, where the good guy gets the girls and all that jazz... idk, I've always tried to be a good person and have good christian morals (No drinking, drugs, sex, etc.) and I'd figure that after 18 years you'd think I'd have earned more than 3 days...With a girl that never even cared about me..

And I tried to be the best friend I could, always offering advice and lending a helping hand, but it doesn't really earn you anything... But I hate alpha behavior... I don't care that it's more natural behavior, it just goes to show how much like animals people still can be. Actually, if you read my note I think I mention some of my feelings towards... well humans in general.

>>2510099
Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I kind of mentally assigned Shana into the role of Kairi, and myself to Sora... I'd go to the ends of the earth for her, and beyond... And now that I've started school up again.. I just feel sick. I hate all the people there. I hate the people in my major, I'm not even entirely sure why, I just can't stand them.. And the stupid classes.. I just... I hate them. I want to just.. Pull out a knife and start vicously gutting the person next to me... Maybe I want to turn into Cupcakes pinkie pie... I want to be insane.. For somepony to freaking notice.. I want to be locked up and just break down and die.. Just start tearing pieces of my own skin off.. I actually bit myself in spring of last year hard enough to leave a really big scar on my top right wrist.. I use my broken guitar strings and pierce through my skin, like I'm sewing, and beat my legs with a hammer. Doing that doesn't even bother me anymore. It's funny that people like to hide their cries for help, by cutting their legs and their hips.. *Twitch*
>> No. 2510124
File 131536058438.gif - (460.10KB , 200x200 , 130756717101.gif )
2510124
>>2510123
Yes, I've played Kingdom Hearts. It's a very fun game. If you hate your major so much, why don't you change it? Why do you feel so much desire to hurt yourself? What will it accomplish? There's so much incredible stuff out there, and new people to love. It doesn't make sense to want to destroy it, or yourself. Please, stop hurting yourself like this.
>> No. 2510125
File 131536596747.png - (330.04KB , 1900x1916 , 131302105022.png )
2510125
>>2510123
It's true. If you vanished I would never truly know your fate, but that doesn't mean what happens to you isn't important. Everything that you say leads me more and more to believe you are a good person that deserves a good life. All things worth having are worth fighting for; your life included.

I'm sorry to hear that you hurt yourself. I don't have much experience in that area so I can't offer any real advice there.

I love you friend. I hope you will respond when you see. Stay strong Brony. Remember my number is always good if you need to talk.
>> No. 2510126
File 131537093637.jpg - (61.47KB , 600x600 , rainbow dash singin.jpg )
2510126
>>2510123
Weeeeeeeeeeell since you are anonymous, it is true that if you did disappear we probably wouldn't know it. But the point still remains that you are a pony in need and any good kind hearted soul would reach out to help you or anypony who was feeling like you. Because humans are good kind creatures in heart, who's only real duty is to do waht they think is right. And what is right is to show you that life is indeed worth living, and worth experiencing, that regardless of anonymity or recognizability, you are still a person who deserves love and respect.

For you see, kindness is a contagious thing, being kind to others and wishing them love will bring them joy, bring us joy. and spread it further and further to people all over.

So i am giving you my heart and mind, because not only do i care about you, not only do i care about myself, but because i care about all bronies and everything around us. You are a beacon of good in this world, just by being who you are. a person with feelings, emotions, and thoughts. and from there people will sharpen themselves on you, making themselves better bronies.

*hugs*

i love ya man!
>> No. 2510131
File 131537375934.png - (72.52KB , 475x479 , Pinkie Selfhug.png )
2510131
Oh my... I haven't looked at the OP image yet--gotta go to sleep for college in the morning, lol--but I only wish I'd have joined this place a bit sooner so I could've possibly been a part of this. However, OP/Wisdom, I say that it warms my heart to read that some of our community's lovely bronies were there for you and helped you when you really needed it, and helped prevent you from making a terrible, heartwrenching decision.
Whatever your reasons had been and whatever is going now, I must tell you I wish you the best that may possibly come to you, and that I'm truly happy that this happened. :)
Fillyhug for you~
>> No. 2510133
File 131537496050.jpg - (37.30KB , 481x486 , 131057499751.jpg )
2510133
>>2510131
Thank you Mu Nova. I could not have found a better place to share this than Ponychan. There are some very wonderful people here.

Every one of them are wonderful.
>> No. 2510134
File 131537572665.jpg - (26.27KB , 276x310 , BIRTHDAY DETECTED FIRING PINKIE LAUNCHER.jpg )
2510134
You're more than welcome, pegasis. I agree, we ponies have a lovely community, at the least here on Ponychan. And I just changed like... Yesterday and started posting today. ^^
Anyway though, I will take time to look at the pic tomorrow, but I need to stop staying up so late... Gotta get up in 5 hours. o-O

Still though, a nice parting pic. I don't think it's your birthday, but I'm firing the launcher anyway. ;)
>> No. 2510139
File 131541701800.png - (93.13KB , 205x302 , 130861483534.png )
2510139
Aw, I missed this. Oh well, happy to see you got help and we all love you.
>> No. 2510144
>>2510124

I don't change it because... I don't know. Afraid of change or something, and my interests are primarily in computers... but not in a way that you can get a degree in. And as far as hurting myself goes... Have you ever tried it? It's addicting.. Like seriously addicting..

Also I apologize for semi derailing the thread... My mind is really full of apples..
>> No. 2510145
File 131544870237.jpg - (224.53KB , 1699x2335 , 131053672642.jpg )
2510145
>>2510144
I'm glad to see you post again my friend. I've been looking forward to them each day.

Well what way do you like computers. I'm interested in hearing. I know change can be scary, but I know a creative person like you can find a way to incorporate your talents in what ever you choose to do.

I did scratch cuts into my arms with paperclips for a short time in high school. I understand some fascination with it.

When i posted: >>2510125
I had completely forgot about it. I guess I forced it out of my mind. I look down at the scars that remain, and remember a sad time in my life.

It will always be good to see you here. I will always see you as a friend.

Always remember my number is good for a call. I love you, and take care.
>> No. 2510155
File 131551964104.jpg - (357.69KB , 1000x1000 , spacemarinesmile.jpg )
2510155
>>2510133
Including yourself, I think :)
>> No. 2510157
>>2510155
Thanks Godard.
>> No. 2510159
File 131557336194.png - (161.86KB , 500x387 , for_science_by_luna_sedata-d3bo36d.png )
2510159
>>2510145
Well, I like building computers, but that's mostly on a hobby basis as it can get really repetitive and therefore less fun, and overclocking but I'm nowhere near good enough to do that as a pro (though there are a few that do).. Right now I have a job working with IT workstation Support at my campus and I really enjoy that. I had a background in linux so they had me pick up Mac stuff (Mac's are Unix based (The command line is totally boss)) and are other Mac guy actually quit right at the end of summer so it's just me now... I like doing some scripting... Maybe I like solving problems with computers, as I usually put in way more time to figuring out a problem than most of the guys I work with...

So are you pumped for Season 2? I don't get Hub but I plan on watching the stream of it, and downloading it off youtube if somepony puts it up
>> No. 2510161
File 131557811043.jpg - (35.71KB , 500x290 , 131057485998.jpg )
2510161
>>2510159
Let me start with a big "Yes!".
Very pumped for season 2.
>Pic

It sounds like you have a very interesting job. You must get a lot of satisfaction out of problem solving. I'm glad to hear that you're able to do something you enjoy AND get paid to do so. There are many people in today's work force that can't say that.

As far as not being good enough at something to become a pro goes... I think that's a load of horsefeathers. I think you're a person that can do anything that you set your mind to. You already have skills I could never hope to, when it comes to computers.

Well, I wish I had more time to compose this post, but I have to leave for work soon. As always it has been a pleasure seeing your post.

Have a safe and wonderful day friend.
>> No. 2510163
File 131560243329.png - (194.75KB , 900x800 , 130794341639.png )
2510163
Glad to hear that you are doing better. Did not respond in the original thread, sorry about that.
Keep fightin.
>> No. 2510267
>>2510161
So today I realized that I can't escape my condition through normal means..
>> No. 2510268
File 131588795094.png - (72.52KB , 475x479 , 131302094718.png )
2510268
>>2510267
It's good to see you again friend.

Tell me about it.

You know that you always have my ear.
>> No. 2510275
File 131595552128.jpg - (73.13KB , 900x563 , canterlot_evening___wallpaper_by_crappyunicorn-d3f.jpg )
2510275
>>2510268
I think I've grown to depend on ponies, instead of myself.. like when somepony lends out a helping hoof I wanna just pull them down with me... Or when a hoof is lent out to me I have to constantly make myself feel worse and torture myself in some way in order to give them a reason to stick around... Nopony wants to hang around with a sourmare... at least not for extended periods of time..

I use too many ellipses don't i...

I actually had a... I think it was a dream the other night, I was flyin' up in the sky with Rainbow Dash and I was having so much fun... like this http://mytoothless.deviantart.com/art/rainbow-dash-216502582

and then I snapped back to reality.. I can't fly, I can't do magic, I can't do anything... Okay there are some things these wore out hooves can do, but I don't care about them...

And computers aren't super complicated so long as you have an interest in them, it's mostly about being able to figure out what to search for on google, cause most of the new stuff is all automated and stuff from the hardware level, while older systems needed some more attention..

Anyway back to my point, I can't escape my mindset, I can't imagine being happy even if Shana trotted back into my life I'd feel the need to... just be a wreck in order for her to have a reason to stay with me... I can't help it anymore, I feel the need to be broken in order for mares to care, and even then I push them away... It's like I'm a broken vcr and I just spit out tapes...

I... almost feel I should depart this plane before season 2 starts... If youtube gets all 'copyrighty' I'll have no way to watch it anyway... I could die with my pinky pie pillow...
>> No. 2510278
File 131596516520.png - (156.00KB , 600x470 , 130938486961.png )
2510278
>>2510275
I want to start by saying that I will always listen when you speak, I will always care when you hurt, and I will always love you when you need it most.

Right now I know you need all of those things, and I want you to have them.

There is nothing wrong with relying on others. We need people that are there to catch us when we fall. To get us back on our feet and point us in the right direction. There is a reason that man seeks companionship. Life can not and should not be lived alone. The path walked alone is the hardest and it is balanced against those who take it.

I think that it says good things that you would not be happy with this girl back in your life. You may still want her in mind, but your heart says no. Listen to that feeling. This is your chance to move on. This is your chance to get out of this state and find what will truly mend your heart. You have to fight! You have to survive! Otherwise what happened to me was all for nothing!

You are my friend God damn it! I love you! I can't just let you fade into the dark! You are special! You are beautiful!

Please find your reason to live, because right now... you're mine.

And you use all the damn ellipses you want!
>> No. 2510280
>>2510275
yo, anon. Are you me? are you who I used to be? Because daaaaaamn bra, You're putting out lines I would have uh... 3 days ago or so. The whole having to make yourself broken so people will spend time with you, I know feels bad pony and shit. It's a thing of need, you want people to be around you and to care for you, but you feel they only do so when they have something to fix, Am I right?

If I am, and you got that nagy feeling... well there's a few answers.

1. That could just be these people don't know anything about you but that. If you're searching for friends, try giving them something interesting to relate to about yourself, so they have a good reason to talk to you.

2. These people are busy for one reason or another and can only make room for you when you have something urgent that you need them for. Sadly unless they become un-busy you can only rely on them for advice once in a while.

3. The people may just be as you think, only around to fix you if your broken, and then leave you when they think they fixed you. You can't depend on these people to help you continue to not be broken, as they only inspire you to break yourself for them to come back.

Figuring out what kind of people the people who help you are is up to you, Though I myself like to assume the best in people, so I normally default to 1. . But if you find you're breaking yourself repeatedly.... well something needs to change.

ALSO, Removing yourself from this plane of existence is never a good answer, you say you feel bad for dragging people down with you, well then instead of getting rid of you, change you so that you brighten up and start dragging people up with you. Trust me it feels ever so much better.


also feel free to tell me i'm off base on my assumptions I just woke up recently and can't brain.
>> No. 2510333
>>2510275

Please don't go, anon. I read your pastebin document. We need more people like you in the world. We need people who care when they see injustice. You _should_ be pissed off that the US government is corrupt. You _should_ be pissed off about genocide and unjust wars. Everypony should be, and not enough people are. The world is better off having you in it.

Find the others, work together, and don't give up. You're not alone.

On the subject of not giving up, I want to respond to something in your document about continuing to try just leading to repeated disappointment. My response is something I came to believe recently: It's very important to fail.

I had my heart broken for the first time a few months ago, and I learned a lot that I wished I had understood for the past ten years. If I could just have managed to have my heart broken when I was younger, I could have avoided a whole lot of relationship problems in the long run. Of course, I never would have recognized it as a good thing!

And it's not just relationship stuff. If I'm not failing regularly, I think I'm probably not aiming as high as I could be, or growing as much as I could be. School definitely doesn't encourage you to learn by failing, so I didn't figure this out for ages. I was terrified about failing and too often played it safe.

What I'm trying to say is that everything you've been through can make you stronger and wiser. And if you aren't satisfied doing the computer stuff that you're already good at, take some risks and try new things. Or, if the reason you're not satisfied is because working as a code monkey for some corporation wouldn't make progress towards accomplishing social justice, figure out a way to either use your skills for a cause you care about or start developing a new skill.

I don't know if I can help with the interpersonal stuff, except to say that, in my experience, the most significant connections come from doing stuff I'm passionate about and meeting people who feel the same way. I don't know how to keep up a friendship on anything but a superficial level if that kind of common cause isn't there.
>> No. 2510361
File 131626842230.png - (533.48KB , 1600x953 , vinyl__s_lonely_concert____by_blackgryph0n-d46inag.png )
2510361
>>2510278
That was a good episode...
>> No. 2510363
>>2510361
The new pony one? Yeah.... so. What's up friend?
>> No. 2510364
>>2510363
Read the rest of the thread starting from
>>2510060
that'll sum it up
>> No. 2510366
>>2510363
Oh, I can't read.

So yeah. Nothing. Same as every other day.
>> No. 2510371
>>2510364
Ahh... I'm sorry to hear all this, I'm around to talk if you fancy to, but if you'd rather not then I won't ask you to~

>>2510366
Well that's good, I think. Do anything interesting? I know ponies new episodes, but anything else?
>> No. 2510372
File 131628296099.jpg - (15.60KB , 265x264 , 1303759631984.jpg )
2510372
>>2510371
I wonder what the max post count is on ponychan....
As far as interesting things go... pretty much nothing, just lonely. Somepony was over last night but they were more interested in talking to my mom, and the only other person I hang out with is out of town this weekend..
>> No. 2510374
>>2510372
>I wonder what the max post count is on ponychan.

You could make a /meta/ thread about it, but I'm a bit confused as to what a max post count is.


And that bites, maybe a nice night out is in order? If you don't have like work or anything.
>> No. 2510375
>>2510374
I lurked on 4 chan for a bit and the max image count is... I think 150 or 250 and the max post count is 100 more than that.

I there isn't anything to do around here, it's a real redneck town... if you don't like sports, sex, or loud trucks there isn't anything to do around here..
>> No. 2510377
>>2510375
Ahh... I don't think there's a max limit, as I seen very large pic threads with over 400ish imagoes in them.

But I think around post 250 the thread get's autosaged.


But, there's no clubs out near you? Maybe at a library there's like art stuff, or programing things.?
>> No. 2510378
>>2510377
I commute to college on the days I have classes, it's a 45 minute drive but honestly I couldn't live by myself.. I'd probably end up dead in a week.and no clubs or anything, there isn't really a market for clubs in a town of ~2000, a little less than half of which are all retirees..
>> No. 2510379
>>2510378
No family close by that you care to spend time with?
>> No. 2510380
>>2510379
Not really.

I don't really care to spend time with most anypony anymore, cause they eventually leave and I'm right back where I started..
>> No. 2510381
>>2510380
You mean feeling alone? I guess, but you can't spend time with people all the time....
>> No. 2510382
File 131629309801.png - (373.42KB , 725x713 , 1301371239643.png )
2510382
>>2510381
Yeah I guess...

*sigh*

I kinda wish MLP season 2 hadn't started yet... I could really go for not having something to look forward to, and that is pretty much all I'm looking forward to...

I would ramble but... I don't even care... I just wanna leave..
>> No. 2510383
>>2510382
If you want to ramble feel free to ramble, if you want to go, do so. But I'd rather we have the chance to meet again, I love this site for the friends it brings me~
>> No. 2510384
File 131630167815.jpg - (124.42KB , 900x900 , fluttershy__s_death_scream_by_johnjoseco-d3dhcgl.jpg )
2510384
>>2510383
lol I'm not sure if you caught my meaning by leave...

Well... Apparently the band teacher for my HS is resigning at the end of the month cause he 'doesn't get treated right' and to be honest I hate the guy cause he ruined the jazz program for me (we played Hannah Montana and High School Musical pieces, not exactly what I'd call jazz) and I didn't think he was a very good teacher because he couldn't find a way to get the respect from the students. Anyway, now that he's resigning Shana and a bunch of my friends are upset because they really like him as a teacher or something, and the guy replacing him temporarily most of them hate because he was the Band director at the middle school... I just... Is it okay for me to hate the guy when clearly people I love love him? I mean I know everypony is entitled to their own opinions but I really dislike the guy cause I felt that he destroyed the program as much as it could be destroyed while still existing... but now it might not exist much longer...

*sigh*

So remember that pony that I mentioned came over last night? She actually makes fun of me for being a brony, and she says she doesn't mean it but she puts so much enthusiasm in it that I really can't tell... Kinda hilarious that one of the things that brightens my day also draws me ridicule from my closest friends... I hadn't even seen her in over a month and she comes over just to ignore me the whole time.. Except for the part where she cut me four times, which I was okay with; I miss the blood...

Maybe I should move out and buy a gun... for jump out in front of a train... It really doesn't sound very unappealing...

"Take a deep breath
'Cause it all starts now
When you pull the fuckin' pin
The shrapnel burns as it tears into your skin

Ever wonder what it takes
To be questioning your faith
This is what it's like when
It happens every God damn Day

Violence is a way of life

Shards of life
Like confetti in the air
The flesh storm grows
As it breeds despair

You hear the screams
In the distance, fighting the resistance
Not cries of war
These are just the sounds of pain

It's all just psychotic devotion
Manipulated with no discretion

(Lead - Hanneman)

Killing's in style
And it's now the main event
The cameras are horses
For the daily bloodshed
Like a junkie
Hungry for a fix of anything
The media devours and feasts upon the inhumane

Violence is our way of life

It's all too fuckin clear
We can never coincide
So lets all drink to genocide
All the venomous sights
Border on the arcane
In times of war
Everything is bound by pain.

Its all just psychotic devotion
Manipulated with no discretion
Warfare knows no compassion
Thrives with no evolution
Unstable minds exacerbate
Unrest in peace.

(Lead - King)

There's no future
The world is dead
So save that last
Bullet for your head
Only the fallen have won
Because the fallen can't run
My vision's not obscure
For war there is no cure
So hear the only law
Men killing men for somepony else's cause
Its all just psychotic devotion
Manipulated with no discretion
Its all just psychotic devotion
Manipulated with no discretion"

There's just something about metal that is just more human than other forms of music...

I wish I didn't have to sleep alone tonight.. *sigh*
>> No. 2510386
>>2510384
Perhaps I did, I can be a dense pony sometimes

It's fine to dislike somepony, just like it's fine to have a different opinion then the one of your friends. People may disagree with me, but to a cretin extent you can't control how you feel about things. You can over time change it, but you're feelings are that way because that's who you are.

Wait.... what You let this person cut you? This person internationally cut you!? This isn't one of you're friends is it? :(.... I mean I guess it's for some kind of medical thing right?

And no, I don't think the sound of you "Leaving" is such a pleasant idea.....

Maybe... maybe I'm wrong. I have been before but.... perhaps you could use a friend? Somepony to just chat with about silly things at time? I'm not sure... I know when I was in a bad spot, having friends who supported me (each in their own way mind you) helped tons.
>> No. 2510387
File 131630574792.png - (288.19KB , 1000x1200 , princesses_of_equestria_by_kourabiedes-d3fgwpa.png )
2510387
>>2510386
Yeah I let her cut me, I don't really have a problem with it I guess. It's not like she was stabbing me. She works at a medical facility of some sort and grabs a few surgical grade blades when she needs them.. She hadn't cut in awhile but then her BF broke up with her and she got depressed and started cutting again, but she doesn't do it like me, she just goes for light scratches so it heals up and doesn't scar...

And I could use a friend I just... more semi bad experiences. Like this girl I met through sixbillionsecrets, her name is allie and she's really cool and such and what not, but at one point she couldn't take my... constant unceasing depression for lack of better words... we don't talk very much anymore...
>> No. 2510388
File 131630685503.jpg - (40.67KB , 638x591 , 131057717417.jpg )
2510388
>>2510384
My friend.

I'm so glad to see you're okay.

I want to help you. I want you to be okay. I don't know how to make it so... and it's killing me. I love you my friend, but I don't know what to say anymore. I'm not giving up on you. I don't ever want you to think that, but I don't know what to do.

For as long as you hurt you will have my ear. You are in my thoughts and in my heart every moment of everyday. You mean more to me than I think you know. I don't know what I'll do if I lose you.

I can't let you lose this fight. I can't lose this fight. I can't lose you.
>> No. 2510389
>>2510387
I guess it could be worse, if it's only light scratches.... and I know plenty of people would want to be your friend here. maybe you'd like a real life friend more.... but I'd still like to be your friend, even if I can't always help you with your "constant unceasing depression"...
>> No. 2510390
File 131630817039.jpg - (173.36KB , 1200x1008 , protecting_the_ones_you_love_by_johnjoseco-d3cj9by.jpg )
2510390
>>2510388
>Pic related you's is Rainbow Dash

Thanks Wisdom.. Did you catch the new episode this morning?

>>2510389
Perhaps I shall grab a tripcode at somepoint in the near future.. that'd make it easier to find me
>> No. 2510392
File 131630946917.jpg - (132.55KB , 900x900 , 131057410455.jpg )
2510392
>>2510390
I would like that. I would like that a lot.

>Pic

I saw the episode. I thought it was wonderful. I'm glad you found a place to watch it; I know you said you don't get the Hub.

I think that they've off to a great start for this season. I hope they can keep it up.
>> No. 2510393
>>2510392
I'm over at 4chan ( http://boards.4chan.org/b/res/353938137 ) right now and peeps really be picking up discord quite well. It's amazing how fast content can come out. Some of these ponies is crazy lol
>> No. 2510394
File 131630969264.png - (184.11KB , 331x358 , 1302820861333.png )
2510394
>>2510392
Oh I watched a stream of it.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/hax-mega-s-mlp-fim-season-2-countdown

And apparently one of my friends gets Hub but I think 8 am is a bit too early to invade somepony's house in the name of pony
>> No. 2510395
>>2510393
new thread
http://boards.4chan.org/b/res/353941531
>> No. 2510396
File 131631025447.jpg - (92.73KB , 894x894 , 131057204723.jpg )
2510396
>>2510393
I don't usually dared tread in 4chan. The times I have I was kinda disappointed by the interface. (no quick way to see who a poster is responding to.)

I saw some of the caps that they had up. People sure are quick with that stuff.
>> No. 2510397
>>2510396
well if you have 4chan X (or the 4chan Y hosted on userscripts) it gets a lot better, like there';s this sweet quick reply interface, and the ability to expand images on the page. But I usually only go on there when I'm bored, I have lots of stuff to do so I usually don't have time... all the while my Deviantart watched lists continue to grow.. I have something like 5000 deviations to check out lol..
>> No. 2510398
File 131631159949.jpg - (13.87KB , 400x367 , 131057709790.jpg )
2510398
>>2510397
Good gravy! That's a lot of content!

So do you go by a name on 4chan?

When you are on Ponychan do you frequent any particular boards?
>> No. 2510399
>>2510398
I just stick to this thread right now, but I;m gonna be spending time in /pic/ grabbing more content for mah pony folder, and I went by a few names on 4chan, but I haven;t for awhile, not since spring really; too much tripcode hate outside of pony threads
>> No. 2510400
File 131631217949.png - (114.57KB , 300x400 , 131054137791.png )
2510400
>>2510399
Yeah not a fan of the hate i see around there. I tend to stay in /chat/ myself. It's like the /b/ of ponychan... without all the terrible things that implies.

Wanna go to /pic/ right now and start a picture dumping thread? I would love to help fill you life with ponies.
>> No. 2510401
File 131631230792.gif - (870.25KB , 536x406 , spoiler.gif )
2510401
>>2510390
That'd be nice, glad you're enjoying discord btw, Think he was a great antagonist~
>> No. 2510402
File 131631254159.png - (1.04MB , 1480x1124 , just_chillin_together_by_recycletiger-d43bgs5.png )
2510402
>>2510400
My home interwebz is horrible, maybe during the week sometime.. but thanks for the offer!

>>2510401
Yeah I wasn't sure from the trailer if I was going to like him but goshdarn it the show proved me wrong again lol
>> No. 2510405
File 131631528742.png - (131.49KB , 475x269 , 131057633103.png )
2510405
>>2510402
Hey I don't know if you're still around at the moment.

I have a video I want you to see:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=457mjzLidgo

I know you like metal and all, but it would mean a lot to me if you saw it the whole way through.

It always puts such a smile on my face.
>Pic
>> No. 2510406
>>2510402
Jah, he's pretty funny :3
>> No. 2510407
File 131632493824.png - (382.86KB , 500x500 , tumblr_lqnv7887Dh1qkibivo1_500.png )
2510407
I guess what you were seeking after all was support and Wisdom.

Life is full of discoveries. Don't stop till the gas drops, dude. ;D
>> No. 2510421
File 131638052162.jpg - (422.44KB , 1000x1000 , 1316295885510.jpg )
2510421
>>2510405
Aww that was nice.. I get the feeling they told the guy to think about his Gf or wife or whatever, but yeah twas kinda contagious.

It's not that I only listen to metal, it's just kinda the phase I'm in or something.. I also have tons of trance music and I have quite a few game OST's..

Also, I haz an apple.
>> No. 2510423
Your story is amaizing and I'm glad to see you ome before us once more. I'm sorry I was not there for you when you needed us all, but as I see all the other of brony community got your back I feel no guilt.

Remember Wisdom, you got all of us here when you feel like nothing else is there anymore.

My thoughts with you and cheers from Finland <3
>> No. 2510425
File 131639174224.jpg - (145.67KB , 900x900 , 28350 - applejack artist_john_joseco headphones music.jpg )
2510425
>>2510421
I'm glad you liked it. Those guys are my feel better and chill music. They're one of my favorite bands atm.

>>2510423
Thank you for your kind words. I know that everypony on this site would have offered assistance if they saw me in need. That's what makes this place so wonderful.
>> No. 2510573
File 131752354169.png - (1.18MB , 1480x1324 , sadpinkie_by_sonicrainboom93-d3i9egt.png )
2510573
>>2510425
So last night I went out in public (on my own terms) for the first time in a year and a half... And I felt like a freaking ghost. No one recognized me, or even talked to me. OH and an ex crush of mine was even standing right next to me, being all cuddly with her new boyfriend. I just wanna gut myself and finally get this whole living thing over with... I hate my classes and even if I graduate and get a job and it pays TOOOONNNNNNNsss of money that won't make me happy. Nothing can make me happy. Like the only thing I look forward to now is Ponies but even that is making me feel like an outcast because I'm the only brony I know and I can't giggle at the ghosties like http://www.ponychan.net/chan/arch/res/1.html#i1 can.. I'm just a freaking coward... That's it, I'm afraid of death... it takes strength to kill yourself but people don't think about that they call suicidal people cowards and worthless but have they ever tried taking their own life? it's not easy...

Oh and my boss yelled at me yesterday. Firefox 7 just came out and I was pushing it out to computers and he freaked out and was all "I didn't approve this, don't push out updates anymore" so now the only part of my job I really liked is gone... And Shana's not coming back... And Beca hates me... And Casey is a million miles away (relatively speaking ) and now the band teacher is leaving and Angie is all upset... Wow I'm just giving away everypony's name aren't I.... I've actually been texting shana a little bit... And that's just making me feel worse because it's like she completely ignores my pain and doesn't acknowledge that I need her... And she actually brought up Robert, which was HILARIOUS because it just is... I should've brought my exacto knife to the homecoming game last night... I should've gouged out Jenny's eyes... and slapped Taylor, and Kissed Shana.... And slit my wrists and given everypony bloody handshakes... I would've laughed. I just wanted to murder somepony... Just mercilessly beat somepony down and make them feel how I feel everyday... I didn't actually eat yesterday, could this be that I've found a new way to harm myself? Besides constantly crawling to beca for company or sifting through my pictures of shana... or going to school even though I'm surrounded by people I hate...


I don't deserve to live... I haven't earned it... and this isn't fucking living... this is dying on a daily basis.. Perhaps the university would be interested in a fresh cadaver.. Or maybe I should just give them one anyway... I already scooped out a great place to hang myself, I could actually do it in such a way that it'd do heavy damage to my head though it'd be more ideal for the rope to snap my neck... FUUUUUUUUUUCK Please just kill me, please...
>> No. 2510610
File 131753037493.png - (169.90KB , 734x1088 , pinkie_omg_by_felix_kot-d4a4vsd.png )
2510610
>>2510573
I don't know what to say. I didn't know that things had gotten so bad for you again. Were they ever okay? There's so much to respond to, I just...
Please call me. You still have my number.
>>2510077
This is too much to put in text. Please call me right now. I don't care if we talk for ten hours.
I know you don't like to talk on the phone, but please! Don't go through with any of this. Do I have to tell how much you mean to me again?
>> No. 2510612
File 131753119841.jpg - (940.93KB , 1024x1024 , hush_now_quiet_now_by_angeliccarrot-d4bc54e.jpg )
2510612
>>2510610
I won't go through with anything in all likelihood, just planning... It's kinda like a cold war with myself lol... but I'm really tired and I'm sorry but I really don't wanna hear my own voice right now... I hope you understand...

And when I was with Shana I was okay... *sigh*

Alright I'm gonna go to bed, nightynight.
>> No. 2510616
File 131756103013.png - (182.19KB , 333x400 , 131747785180.png )
2510616
I love the fact that I'm part of a community that helps each other out, rather than spamming the word "parasprite"
>> No. 2510623
>>2510612
Hey my skype is Mesa3232 if you ever wanna talk.

Sounds like you need some kind of fulfillment and love in your like. *hug* it will happen. Please don't harm yourself!!
>> No. 2510625
File 131758080642.png - (2.52MB , 2611x2972 , rainbow dash twilight hair.png )
2510625
>>2510573

Life can be bitter, it can be cruel. It seems like a pleasent thing to just end it and get rid of it all, to take the road of least resistance and to give it all up. You are experiencing great hardship and heartache, and you can't seem to find any point where light shines for you.

But let me ask you, in all the greatest stories in life, where the hero is faced with impending doom and a situation where all hope is lost, what makes them a hero? Stacked with insurmountable odds against them, they push forward, they struggle to break free of that extreme pain and hardship. They find the strength within themselves to fight despite what is happening, they do not roll over and die without giving their antagonist hell to pay. They make their mark and draw the line in the sand, saying to the world that i'm not budging from this spot, that this is my life and i will stand for what i love and what i believe.

The hero, valiantly raises his sword to the proverbial dragon, and with shield in the other hand runs into the lair of the foreboading beast, into the heat of his firery breath, the razor edge of his claws, and the strength and size of the dragon oppressing him. He runs in and fights, knowing full well that it seems hopeless, that he is scared to death. But that is what courage is, it's taking on the darkness, taking on the things that scare us, depress us, and causes many to die before their time, or not to live their life.

Courage to live despite the dark foreboading shadow that hangs over you, for it's only then that you can see the light you seek. But it won't be in the sky, it won't come from the dragon or the darkness, or from the evil that plagues you. It will come from you, from your soul.

That soul, shining like a diamond in the sea of your mind, that diamond will shine light and show you the path that you seek, and you will find light again. Your heart at peace as you live to see your friends, make new ones, find love, and discover who you really are.

you are in the point of your story where all seems lost, but read more of your story and you will find a happy ending, and a promise of new stories in your life. each one as beautiful as the last.

i love you mate, and in being you, the feeling sensitive person you are, you are my hero.
>> No. 2510627
>OH and an ex crush of mine was even standing right next to me, being all cuddly with her new boyfriend.

This is just about the single worst feeling in the entire world. I can't remember just how many times I had to sit through this.

Bro, you aren't alone and we're all here for you. We love you. Things will get better, they will. You just have to fight on.

I'm a mathematician. The odds are pretty much 0% that your life will always be this bad. Things will get better, you just got to weather the storm. Only killing yourself will guarantee that you will die miserable, so don't.

We are here to support you and help you in any way you can.... But you should really call a hotline. Those are professionals who are there to help you feel happy again. They're not going to tie you up and restrain you, they're going to help you be happy again. So make the call, for all of us who love you.
>> No. 2510628
>>2510627
is me, BTW. Re-installed windows and the auto-complete went with everything else.

Here is the number you need to call:
1-800-273-8255

Do it right now. They can help you more than we can.
>> No. 2510637
File 131762165958.jpg - (125.67KB , 900x900 , rain_won__t_wipe_away_the_tears_by_johnjoseco-d3iofu9.jpg )
2510637
>>2510610
I'm sorry I'm so pathetic Wisdom... I'm really proud of you for being able to pull through what you were going through but... I can't... I can't give her up,... Oh pony swag you so enjoyable..

i'm also sorry I'm so phone shy... You can actually blame jenny (the ex crush I mentioned) for that because here was a time I was blocking everypony out (exvept a few people) and Jenny called thehouse phone looking for my mom and she had the nerve to be like
"Hey pony how're you?"
"Awful, why?"
"Oh just wondering, could you tell my mom I called?"
"Yeah sure whatever"

Her just complete and utter not caring about me just... It crossed too many lines, so now I just hate phones... I used to talk with Shana for hours and hours on the phone... She brought that up too actually...

...

(Because I've allergic to answering phones. You can thank jenny detlor for that)

I'm not sure what that means, care to elaborate?

(I don't answer phone calls. And I'm even less likely to make them. I even hate having to make them at work)

What does jenny have to do with that? And you used to call me?

(Indeed I did. And we started up late into the night talking about nothing and it was wonderful. And Jenny just has a way of making me hate things.)

Well, then mentally tell jenny to go die. And I agree, I loved talking to you, and I quite miss that. You used to be on of the most quirky, bubbly people I knew.

(And now what am I? and I have, many many times)
...

that was from a text exchange we had like two weeks ago... I can post the rest f it but it really doesn't matter.. But the main point is that.. idk, it's like she doesn't remember that we were dating when all of those 4-5 hour phone calls happened...

It's just so wrong... I could post thousands of things but none of it would matter... I feel like I'm just wasting everyponys time at this point... I seriously feel awful because I just don't get better and no matter how much you ask I just won't call.. You''re number is in my phone btw in case you were wondering..

Have I mentioned Mack yet? He is an ex-friend of mine who raped another ex-friend of mine (different reasons for ex-friending, mack was a bad person (who tried to move in on girls he knew people liked, as if to one up them) and Taylor was the first person to use "get over it" after Shana left.. DESPITE saying how much she loved how happy Shana made me and how happy I made Shana!)

ANYWAY

I took it upon myself to write out a note about all of Mack's actions and send it to different people around the school... Idk, looking back on it it wasn't the greatest thing to do, but he sexually assaulted one of my friends, I had to do something!

So I wrote out this huge thing and it eventually got Mack in court, which at this point we (my group of friends and I) were just like it's about time (Mack really wasn't that great of a person). But I sent the message out through a bunch of proxies on a free email service, and I could post that too but I'm guessing ponies don't care about that either... There's actually more irony attached to that note, but I'll save that for another time...

>>2510616
paraspriteestia? Le pink princess?

>>2510623
I don't use Skype... I've been 'hiding' since... February 18th 2010 so I didn't tag along when people transferred over to Skype from other IM's... idk, I'd feel obligated to post it on Facebook, which I can't do...

>>2510625

Well this kind of thing has happened before, where I get broken up with and all hope is lost... But it wasn't the same, I was envisioning getting married to her and growing old and such...
And like the brushes of hope I've had have been like glimmers of light I suppose, but they all vanish the moment I notice them... Like the sun is running from me! Tough I can't say I blame it, It's probably blind it with my paleness lol...

I wish it were as simple as slaying a dragon and getting the princess..

Did you by chance read the rest of the thread? Wisdom and I have been at this awhile, incase you wanted more reading...

An interesting thing I'd like to bring up about "finding who I am", are you familiar with the idea that college is where young adults find out who they are? If so check this out: http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/96/mein-kampus.html

I got it from a friend and I think it speaks very truthfully..

Confound these ellipses, I use too many...

But I really liked what you wrote, if my head would actually allow new ideas into it... who knows... But I can feel the writing... it got through to me in some way, I guess I'll see if anything comes of it...

>>2510627
It wasn't even that bad until I asked my converted brony friend who it was... and it was exactly who I feared... my hair is long enough that I can cover up my entire face with it if need be, my bangs reach about 2 inches past my chin and I had half my face covered so I couldn't make out who was next to me... Which ended up being Jenny, who I have claimed is the bane of my existence on several occasions, because she really is.

I know mah bronies are always here, but when I need somepony it just... I can't snuggle up with a computer and be told things will be okay some day...

*sigh*

And now the one person who would let me snuggle with them basically hates me... She probably blames me for some of the stuff that's been happening to her recently,though I'm too afraid to ask...

I asked the same to the pony above you but have you read the rest of this thread? there's lots to t..

And.... It feels like they would chain me up... I'm not even that dangerous, just really observant... I could probably make anything dangerous...

But it's like they'd tie me up and put me in a cell and come in each day and ask if I'm better and I'd say no, because I don't lie to strangers if I can avoid it,,,

Okay it's way too late for this pony, I gotta get my flank up in five hours so I can enjoy driving alone for an hour to a school that I hate more each and every day....

so... ummm night.. and sorry for any typos I made...
>> No. 2510656
File 131768461020.png - (158.31KB , 730x1095 , elemental_pinkie_pie_by_pageturner1988-d3idxhi.png )
2510656
>>2510637
You're not pathetic. You're hurt. Pain is the bodies way of telling you that there is a problem, and right now I know that you are feeling an unbearable amount of it.
All things that damage us cause us pain. The damage can be physical, but it can also be emotional.

Now pain doesn't always mean that we need to seek aid. You wouldn't go to the ER for a scrapped knee. That pain will go away with time and it wasn't that severe to begin with. Now if you break your arm, that's a whole different story. You have to seek aid. It's not something you can fix yourself and it's not something you want to leave unchecked any longer than you have to.

The same goes with emotional pain. You can work through a sad time, but you have to recognize when you can't do it alone. When you're going through so much pain for so long it becomes clear that something has to be done. There are doctors to help with that pain, and not seeing one is the worst thing you can do right now.

You said you had a bad experience? Get a second opinion! Don't let one shitty doctor stop you from getting the help you desperately need.

You said you were proud of me for finding my way through my sadness. Well, I didn't do it on my own. I did it through the strength of this community and through the aid of trained professionals.

You can't expect to stop bleeding without a doctor and you can't expect to break this depression without a therapist.

I'm glad I finally have something to call you. Fluttershy.
Fluttershy, my friend.
Fluttershy, the person that I love.
>> No. 2510660
File 131770140561.jpg - (51.30KB , 700x642 , 130733166285.jpg )
2510660
>>2510637
I agree with wisdom a lot. Fluttershy, we care about you.

Please talk to us more! ^^

(now time to respond)

Your not wasting our time posting! we want to help..
>I don't use Skype
If your hiding can you make a new account ^^ and we can talk. If you wanna email me at [email protected] I'd defiantly reply, just say your Fluttershy from ponychan and stuff ^^

>I can't snuggle up with a computer and be told things will be okay some day...

This may be true as we cant physically hug you, but words can do ALOT. Being a part of this community has helped me out IMMENSELY! ^-^

I'm here for you! email or keep posting here please ^^ i'm here!
>> No. 2510674
File 131774941277.png - (122.96KB , 745x1071 , i__m_so_pink_by_blackm3sh-d3fnf39.png )
2510674
>>2510637
Fluttershy, I was thinking earlier today.
I have you to thank for something that only just occurred to me. Recently my posting activity has revolved around the love and advice thread in /chat/. I love helping others and showing them that I care. I like to think that I make some difference in the lives of the people that I try to help.

I don't know if I would have found that passion if not for our conversations that we've had. I have you to thank for something that has brought me great joy. I like to think that you, by inspiring me, have helped those people right by my side.

I don't know where I'm going with this. Maybe it's just my need to ramble, but the point I want to make is that you have been a very positive influence in my life.
Thank you.

I love you Fluttershy.
Stay strong friend.
>> No. 2510677
File 131775515924.jpg - (29.29KB , 315x375 , The Big K.jpg )
2510677
This man is Soren Kierkegaard. He is one of the main reasons I have not become an unbearably cynical plothole. He has kept me from becoming depressed and I hope he can help out anypony in a dark place. He is a religious philosopher and his popular books are "The Sickness unto Death" and "Fear and Trembling"
>> No. 2510702
>>2510674
You're welcome

Oh and you'll notice I lost my trip code. Why you may ask?

Cause I was in a fucking car crash yesterday on my way to school and it butchered my laptop. So now I may have lost all of my fucking data for not only my internet stuff but all of my school work too.

Oh and then I get on facebook tonight because I'm a complete masochist and guess what I stumbled across? Shana kissing her boyfriend.

Great fucking night.

Imma go harm myself for a bit now

>>2510677

I don't mean to be rude but you kind of made it sound like you were calling my a self centered blackhole of self pity.

To each their own.

>>2510660

As I mentioned above I lost my laptop in a crash so yeah, I'm not gonna be able to talk as much until I get another one, which as it stands right now, won't be for awhile.

Just my fucking luck
>> No. 2510703
File 131796045297.png - (149.15KB , 1051x760 , depressed_pinkie_pie_by_atomicgreymon-d3f9pv4.png )
2510703
>>2510702
I'm so sorry to hear that. Aside from the property lose are you okay?

Friend I don't think it's wise for you to visit her Facebook. I don't think that any good can come from it. It seems like the only purpose it has is to torment you. You don't deserve that.

Did you read my post?>>2510656
I hope that you will give what I said serious consideration.
>Imma go harm myself for a bit now.
Please don't do this. I kills me to think that your doing anything like that. Please there are better ways do deal with these emotions. Please consider calling me. I think that it could do a great deal of good.

I hate to see that you hurt so much.
Know that I love you friend. Know that you are very important to me.
Stay strong for me. I need you to do that for me.
I love you friend. I wish I had time to compose a better message for you.
Know that I love you.
>> No. 2510704
File 131796107457.jpg - (29.26KB , 364x330 , 131704639167.jpg )
2510704
i am so glad i started lurking /arch/ right about meow. im so used to the other communities/groups im in only giving half a shit about the depressed/emo people. this was absolutely awe inspiring.

seeing as i have hit the point where i do things i mentioned in an earlier post, i was scared and delaying with ponychan. then i saw this.

and i just broke down. (doesn't help that i have PinkiePieSwear's "Flutterwonder" and rainy mood on)

i just sat here knife by my side, and i just stared at my screen. its been so long since i last saw compassion like this, it was refreshing.

now i lay in mah bed bawling my eyes out because for the first time in months im not going to endure a painful ritual that i never ever want to do.

thank you ponychan for making this the happiest night i have had for years. i am forever in debt.
>> No. 2510705
File 131796182613.png - (104.00KB , 1032x774 , pinkamena_smile_by_vexorb-d49kk2g.png )
2510705
>>2510704
I love you friend.
Thank you for your kind words.
I'm glad that my story has offered you something.
I take it you cut at times? If you would ever like to talk about it you're more than welcome to post here or send me an email. It's in my name.
This has me in tears right now by the way. I hope that your happiness stays with you for the rest of your days.

Stay strong and above all love yourself. You are beautiful.
>> No. 2510706
File 131796195735.png - (367.55KB , 1280x720 , 130713012458.png )
2510706
>>2510702
>broken laptop
I am sorry to here that....I am glad you are okay!

>Imma go harm myself for a bit now
Please don't.... I know it can be addictive, I had this one friend in High school; She would cut.... she did stop some but eventually went back because its addictive... But it doesn't solve anything...please turn to friends and not harming yourself....

>>2510677
that brony i think had a good idea....maybe you could try reading one of those? ^^
When people write a book like that its usually full of all sorts of good knowledge; and not just that. Also a lot of experience! There is a reason they wrote too...they felt what the wanted to write was important and could possible help others ^^

Please keep posting... we all care about you and want to help you friend! =)
>> No. 2510707
File 131796341921.jpg - (73.34KB , 500x551 , 131704562163.jpg )
2510707
>>2510705
>i take it you cut sometimes
yeah, i hate it and im not sure why i do. but hey, if i can learn from my experiences, all i ever need is just one experience that is opposite for something positive to happen. so heres to the best!

and same goes to you! email me any time you ever need anything! whether that be a random randomness or advice.

i mainly posted just so that you could know that you helped another pony out and that your an inspiration to me.

i dunno. when i hear stories about ponies helping ponies, it just makes me feel fuzzy and warm.

one last thing, -INTERNET HUGZ!!!!!!!!!!!-
>> No. 2510708
File 131796531127.png - (53.07KB , 475x479 , 131768583346.png )
2510708
>>2510707
>Hug
>> No. 2510733
File 131818204408.png - (56.88KB , 350x208 , pinkie cute joy.png )
2510733
Congrats on cleaning your self up OP. I hope everything turns for the best.
>> No. 2510740
File 131820401254.png - (104.00KB , 1032x774 , pinkamena_smile_by_vexorb-d49kk2g.png )
2510740
>>2510733
Thank you friend. I'm a much happier person since that night.
I owe a great deal of it to the people of ponychan.
This is a truly wonderful place.
>> No. 2510810
File 131879233904.jpg - (238.71KB , 667x800 , 1317000100419.jpg )
2510810
>>2510703
Finally got my new laptop

Sager NP8150
i7-2670QM 2.2 GHz
8GB 1866MHz RAM
750GB HDD
15.6" screen 95% color spectrum coverage
etc etc

dropped a total of 2-some grand on it...

So now I have almost no money in the bank..

And despite knowing full well that facebook is the third circle of internet hell I still go back there every day... Not sure if I'm hoping to see good news (of a break up perhaps) or if I'm just a glutton for punishment.. Actually it's probably the later because I texted Beca once a night four nights last week after she would have gotten off of work (so as not to incur scathing replies) and she didn't reply a single time... I'm addicted to her company but that's a different story entirely.. Not a very nice one either...

So I spent most of my weekend transferring over all my files from my old hard drive to my new laptop and it is very very slow going.. My old laptop had two partitions on it so over the last 3 years I've gotten used to keep files and stuff on the second partition to stay organized but now I only have one partition so I have to create a new way of keeping stuff organized...

So last night I had a breakdown realization that Shana was like my key to happiness.. She says I'm not the quirky bubbly person she used to know but that's just because she took him with her when she left... which I'm not sure If I talked about yet but her breaking up with me is kind of... it's odd

Basically her parents didn't want her dating me
Her best friend at the time wanted her to date somepony else
and somepony else claims that she simply didn't want to date me anymore..

The first one is possible but they never even took a chance to get to know me... apparently they though I was stuck up the first time we met, when I was really just trying to be friendly..
The second one Pisses me off beyond all reason, because Chazzlyn said that I was good for Shana, and that we were really nice together..
And the third one... I don't even want to think of that as a possibility..

So I sent this to Angie the other night:
"nothin quite like realizing the one thing that can ever make you truly happy slipped right through your fingers to make sleeping difficult..
And the tears.. They just keep coming *sob* And you and casey are the only people who even care enough to check on me.. It's not fair to you..
And I'm not fair to Beca. She has her own life and I'm not part of it. Even more so than I'm not part of Shana's life..
I wonder if my pillow gets tired of getting called Shana..
Okay I'll leave you phone alone.. See you when I see you..."

I'm not really sure why I wrote that out... Maybe part of me felt like it needed to get posted..

So yeah... I kinda feel like Twilight in yesterday's new episode... In that I feel completely crazy... But she has a lot more energy than I do.. And did you notice that fluttershy's yellow seemed a bit washed out?I compared it to the episodes from season 1 and it seemed different.. And The new theme song doesn't seem to be quite as musical as the first one, but I'm guessing it'll grow on me...

Ugh.. So yeah, I'm finding the I'm able to suppress my anti depressants fairly effectively in that days I cheek them don't seem any different than days I take them... Even when I cheek them multiple days in a row to get the drugs out of my system those days don't seem to be any different..

It seems that every plan I've been making the last month is falling through...
Going pony shopping? car crash
Hang out with Beca? No reply
Hang out with Angie? She can't for reasons beyond her control
Migrate over files to new laptop? Don't seem to care...

Oh do you listen to Dream Theater? you should check out Octavarium: www.equestriadaily.com/2011/10/pmv-ponyvarium-super-pony-time-2-luna.html

It's good stuff... Also Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence is a good album that you should check out too if you have some time...

I think more people need to read the suicide prevention help guides, not like you but tons of people I know... I read it awhile bak and I recall how many of the items listed people have done the opposite of, like it's a phase and shit like that..

I played some Left 4 Dead 2 the other day, and I don't think I'd make it in a zombie apocalypse.. I really lack the will to live.. Or an apparent one, I'm guessing if a situation came up where life was threatened primal instinct would kick in and blah blah blah..

>>2510706
It's very addictive, but I haven't really done it since... February I think. I miss the taste of blood, it's such a strange taste.. I really haven't done it because of a promise to my friend Allie who lives like 6 states away.. I told her that I wouldn't cut myself as long as I still didn't give up on Shana... or something like that.. Basically if I cut myself it would mean that I would give up/ stop loving Shana.. Apparently Shana thinks I hate her (heard it though the grape vine) and she hasn't tried talking to me in over two weeks.. *sigh*

okay I'm done rambling..
>> No. 2510811
File 131879850543.png - (31.36KB , 135x173 , 131382436456.png )
2510811
just remember, we all love you here!!
>> No. 2510829
File 131881562037.jpg - (58.71KB , 452x626 , +.jpg )
2510829
>>2510810
well please don't ever hurt yourself on purpose!! We care about you!

>So last night I had a breakdown realization that Shana was like my key to happiness
Sometimes things seem like their the only thing...but i know, i just know theres got to be many other things that can make you happy!! ^3^

I know it can be hard, i can be very hard... have you expressed to her that you really care about her? ^^

And even if things don't work out just know that not everypony is meant for everypony. Thats why when you find the one that is right for you its AMAZING! =)

Whatever happens just remember, life gets better!!!

I and many other Bronies are on skype. I would love to speak with you on there! Or we can just keep it on here. Whatever suits you! =)
>> No. 2510830
File 131881581710.png - (387.90KB , 1280x720 , 130750588225.png )
2510830
>>2510829
Curse my typoes!!! There fixed...

I know it can be hard, it can be very hard... have you expressed to her that you really care about her? ^^

And even if things don't work out just know that not everypony is meant for everypony. Thats why when you find the one that is right for you its AMAZING! =)

Whatever happens just remember, life gets better!!!

I and many other Bronies are on skype. I would love to speak with you on there! Or we can just keep it on here. Whatever suits you! =)
>> No. 2510834
File 131882106531.png - (72.52KB , 475x479 , 131060329627.png )
2510834
>>2510810
Fluttershy my friend.
It's so good to hear from you again. I'm sorry to hear that things are still going so poorly.

Fluttershy you have to stop torturing yourself with this. Going on Facebook to look up this girl is never going to bring you good news. You know that. The love you have for somepony is a precious thing. It's not something you should throw away on somepony who refuses to return it.

There is no such thing as "One chance at happiness." That's not how the world works. It's not how yours should work. Everyday is a new chance at happiness. There are so many people in this world so many possibilities. You do yourself a disservice every day that you don't seek those opportunities.

I love you so very much. You are my friend and it hurts to see you feel this way. You are a strong person. You are a good person. I wouldn't still be around if I didn't think that to be true.
You have all of my love.

By the way, you have a wonderful friend in Angie. Keep her as close as you can. I know that she cares about you so very much. You are so very lucky to have her by your side. I hope that you realize that.

Don't let the people of the past control your future. Take it in your hands. Make it the future that you want it to be. Make it as happy as I know that you want to be. You deserve that, and so much more.

Stay strong my friend. Know that I love you.
Always remember that you have my ear when you need it.
>> No. 2510851
File 131906026299.png - (51.31KB , 400x400 , 130239763428.png )
2510851
We all love you, My Little Brony. To be honest we all have moments when the darkness seems to never end and clouds our hearts. We all know how it feels and that's why we can truly love each other. It's what links every brony. It's what fuels our love and toleration. I wish I could've helped last night. I hate seeing my friends in trouble. No matter what anypony says or how things may seem. No matter if 50,000 people give you a mean look, know that we love you. I love you. We will always be here for you. We are your friends and family. Stay strong my little brony. Our love will warm you when its cold. Our friendship will brace your knees when they begin to buckle. Our hearts will always be with you when you feel alone. We love you.
>> No. 2510871
File 131920719790.png - (104.00KB , 1032x774 , pinkamena_smile_by_vexorb-d49kk2g.png )
2510871
>>2510851
Thank you. It means a lot to me.


Thank you.
>> No. 2510889
File 131932963275.jpg - (309.94KB , 800x800 , luna_haz_a_sad____by_sunegem-d4biswc.jpg )
2510889
Such a long week... Sorry for the delay..


>>2510830
She hasn't tried talking to me in like a month... I'd tell her if she'd text me... I'm actually planning on texting her on what should have been our two year anniversary on the 6th... ugh... I really have too much to deal with right now.. I just wanna curl up and die..

>>2510834
But torturing myself is what I do best! Like Pinky with the parties! I went to Paranormal Activity 3 with Angie the other night, I had the Jumbo Plush Pinkie Pie and she had the twilight; serious lack of comments from people twas lame.... Though during the last part of the movie the 'demon' or what hve you snapped a guys back and I clapped, not sure why... Maybe I'm just really fucked up or something... And another thing, there was a preview on for some other possession movie and the lady in it had tons of cuts on her arm and ponies got all disgusted... Nothing to make you feel like a freak like being in a theater full of ponies who'd be disgusted with you...


I've been feeling incredibly numb lately.. For lots of reasons I suppose.. Beca's pretty much completely ignoring me, Angie got a boyfriend so I feel the need to give her time with him.. Yeah idk... I just feel hollow and empty...And like the other day I was thinking about what I'm doing with my life... and I can't think of a single thing... I'm just wasting resources... *sigh*

Yeah I don't feel great so Imma cut this short..
>> No. 2510890
File 131933183799.png - (113.45KB , 945x846 , sad_pinkie_pie_by_kooner01-d41qnt2.png )
2510890
>>2510889
I'm always glad to hear from you friend. I am very sorry to hear that you're still feeling down. I wish that I could find a way to make you happy. I know that's out of my hands though. I wish I could convince you to seek professional aid, but that is also outside of my control.

Fluttershy you have a wonderful friend in Angie. I try the very best I can to help you. It's clear that it's not enough. If you don't seek some kind of professional help you will never get better. It's a very dangerous thing to try to continue with these feelings unchecked. Please seek aid.

I can and will give you all of my love, but when it comes down to it... it's not helping. It may never help you. I will always do my best to help you, but I can only do so much. It's becoming more and more clear to me that I can't off the help that you need.

Please get help.

You have all of my love friend. I worry for you so much.
Please. You know what you need to do to fix this.
You just have to take the first step.
All of my love.
>Hugs
>> No. 2511014
File 131934999734.jpg - (50.84KB , 600x337 , WeCanHaveNiceThings.jpg )
2511014
This thread is wonderful.
>> No. 2511577
File 132063616005.jpg - (238.71KB , 667x800 , 1317000100419.jpg )
2511577
>>2510890
Huzza it's our two year anniversary in an hour.

what joys and wonders.
>> No. 2511578
>>2511577
Yay two years....
>> No. 2511592
File 132070042456.png - (72.52KB , 475x479 , 131060329627.png )
2511592
>>2511577
Hello friend. I was starting to worry about you. I'm glad to see you again. I guess you're talking about your ex?

She doesn't deserve the time that you give her. There are people far more deserving than her. People that will truly appreciate it.

You have all of my love, friend.
It's good to see you once again.
>Hugs
>> No. 2511626
I can't tell you how incredible it is that the Brony community has helped you in such a way. It is truly mind-blowing. I will never know your pain my friend, but your strength is overwhelming. The Brony community truly does live up to its creed, "Love and Tolerance". I will tell you only what you already know ;): Whenever you need anything, any type of support, friendship, somepony to talk to, there is this community.
My personal e-mail is: [email protected]
Please, e-mail me. I would love to talk to you. Have an incredible day friend :)
>> No. 2511627
File 132098367319.gif - (66.08KB , 360x360 , 129985624785.gif )
2511627
I'm glad you're ok, well.. im 17 and i'm virgin too and i don't care. I know there's somepony waiting for your love.
I understand how you feel, i had a lazy eye when i was more young and all my life; years, days, months i heared the most horrible insults that a human being /bronie can hear. I cried but my uncle and aunt helped me to get the money for my surgery.
The point is, i was alone, i had one of the worst childhoods ever and i wanted to suicide because i couldn't find love, comprension.
Since my surgery i'm happy, i talk and meet a lot of people, but no luck with the girls.
Anyways i know i'll find one.
I was very pesimistic, but when i saw Mlp Fim i have another perspective of the life, i'm happy because i know how i am, i know that "I have to love&tolerate the shit out of people"

Well... keep doing your good work, i hope you never-ever think in kill yourself again.


-Hugs you very hard-
>> No. 2511696
File 132150361680.png - (1.62MB , 1200x1814 , fright_by_eelea-d4abvzs.png )
2511696
>>2511592
Well I guess it's somepony's definition of talking...

*sigh*

I'm really sorry I don't talk more Wisdom... I feel like I've run out of things to say... Actually looking back at the pictures of my cutting and beatings... I really miss it... idk why.. maybe I felt like it was something I finally have control over...

>>2511626
Not sure if you were talking to me or Wisdom... But I'm gonna assume wisdom...

>>2511627
People need to be more likes ponies. At least ponies shit on the floor instead of each other.


I get the feeling that I should kinda... stop posting.. I'm becoming to concerned about myself, getting attention though this board and what not knowing full well that I'm just stuck in my addictions and habits...
>> No. 2511698
File 132151608597.jpg - (9.62KB , 224x225 , bighugforyou.jpg )
2511698
>>2511696

Don't stop posting. I'm a brony, but for some reason or other I never got around to visiting ponychan until... yesterday? wow. And I am AMAZED at how much love there is in this board. Heck, in this thread alone.

Fluttershy, we're all here for you, posting out of genuine concern for your wellbeing. You're not demanding attention from anypony. And what you're getting is friends who genuinely care about you.

When I broke up with my boyfriend, I hid his profile from my FB newsfeed. I couldn't look at any of his pictures or even his name because it gave me a severe headache. I kept him off my newsfeed for... at least six months, I can't remember exactly. My advice to you would be to do the same. Actually defriend her if you can't stop going to her profile. It'll hurt, but maybe the painful memories will stop if you're not reminded of her. And at least you won't have to see any of her new pictures. No one deserves that.

Older post, but I notice your story about your teacher didn't get many comments... if I were in your position, I'd agree with you wholeheartedly :/ I did orchestra in high school and I personally think the music and the music program is far more important than anything else in it. Played viola for all 4 years when most of the students only take one year for credit, and enjoyed every single day. Crappy popular music like HSM would have ruined it for me. Don't feel bad for disliking the teacher, you're not alone.

Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling now and step aside for the more talented speakers. Just remember that you're not alone, Fluttershy? Please? We love you, we care about you, we want to make you happy like you deserve to be. Please don't stop posting.
>Pic
>> No. 2511708
File 132159045880.png - (82.15KB , 280x280 , smiling_twilight_display.png )
2511708
I'm glad your doing okay! I wish I could have contributed though.
>> No. 2511748
File 132200730141.jpg - (119.02KB , 880x758 , 131121744878.jpg )
2511748
>>2511698
I actually haven't gone to her profile in over a year and a half.. idk. And from what I can tell you seem to plenty talented when it comes to speaking.. Just thought I'd mention it.
>> No. 2511984
hi, i discover mlp just a month ago, and i love it, i've just finished S1, i never tought i'd become a brony of any kind, i'm just not an interwebz entusiast, actually this is the first time i visit a ponyboard. Anyway i read the entire thread i wish i had discover it sooner, flutterzhy except for the cutting part, we're exactly the same [btw i'm a virgin too:'( ] i was responding to everypost in my mind because i know exactly how you feel.
it's kinda tardee now, but i just want to say that if you feel like hurting other people you rly seek help not just for you but for the people who aren't guilty, you're not a bad pony. i hope we could keep talking i'm looking for friends too
cheers to everypony
>> No. 2511998
File 132339501324.png - (350.50KB , 650x1006 , role_change_by_blackm3sh-d4cgrk3.png )
2511998
>>2511984
I was wondering when somepony would come back..

Wisdom has been MIA for a little bit, kinda worried about what happened to him...

And the only people I really feel like hurting are those who hurt my friends, which has actually gotten a a handful of people to hate me in the past (ex: Mack, I think I mentioned him above..)

Really it's all about hurting myself, because I'm the one who is at fault, and not able to make things work... Not able to accommodate myself into situations in a way that makes me happy...
>> No. 2512019
File 132365778471.png - (525.28KB , 2862x2504 , Canterlot_Castle_Twilight_Sparkle_3.png )
2512019
hi there, glad to hear from you how you're doin? i saw wisdom in 'love & advice' he seems to be having a bad day, but i hope he'll be alright.
you shouldn't be hurting yourself, i mean there is no purpose, not your fault, it's not necessary to always fit in, i don't. i know it'd nice, but its better to be ok with yourself first. and don't worry there will always be somepony for you
>> No. 2512037
File 132382327295.png - (1.21MB , 900x950 , only_friend_by_feyrah-d4d7zpz.png )
2512037
>>2512019
Really? :/

That's unfortunate... And I know fitting in is overrated, but for her... I just want to...

*sigh*

Curse these finals, they drive me to madness...

Once finals are over I'll write up some big self-righteous essay about my life, love, and everything, but right now I have too much to deal with to think straight.. I hardly have enough free time to type this up..
>> No. 2512269
File 132417707679.png - (93.78KB , 875x705 , 98340 - fluttershy winter.png )
2512269
hi, i'm sorry i can't drop by more often.
i'd also like to fit for her, but pitying myself won't get me closer, so we better keep ourselves occupied.
hope your finals turn out well, let me know how you're going.
i'll pass before xmas. good luck
>> No. 2512274
Does this guy still come around here? I really hope he's okay. I have no idea who he is, but after reading his reflection, I'd be devastated if he killed himself. I hope life's turning around for you, Wisdom!
>> No. 2512325
File 132501777511.png - (28.98KB , 506x558 , ~Do you like what you see.png )
2512325
>>2512324
Wisdom that post was... Very thoughtful of you. Thank you.
>> No. 2516329
what have you learned to day
>> No. 2516331
File 133665330219.jpg - (59.03KB , 500x662 , my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-for-my-special-somepony.jpg )
2516331
>>2516329
Well I've learned a lot...
I got myself a new girlfriend and everything is just better...

Sometimes it's very hard to see what's right in front of you

But I guess you could say our love is in bloom
>> No. 2516559
File 133791803497.png - (111.13KB , 359x350 , 131073165004.png )
2516559
Oh Wisdom,
Why can't I stop reading this thread? I'm sad that I will never speak to you again. But maybe it is for the best.
Glad to hear you are better.
And... Thank you. You helped me mature in a nature that made me realize that I was indeed a fool. I want to thank you for that. I needed a smack to the face to finally wake up and face the facts.
Maybe we will speak to each other again someday.
Goodbye, Wisdom
-Tristen Wright
>> No. 2516562
File 133829411722.gif - (29.03KB , 360x360 , Good Job.gif )
2516562
good Job :P
>> No. 2516566
>>2516559
Why won't you ever speak to him again? D:
>> No. 2516567
>>2516331
Wonderful to hear you're doing better!!! See, we weren't blowing smoke up your plot
>> No. 2516581
File 133887284893.png - (66.77KB , 331x320 , 131073165107.png )
2516581
>>2516566
This isn't the thread to answer that.
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