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No. 2524277
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Very angry rant to follow, contains spoilers, I'm not hiding the text wall I'm about to unleash, feel free to ignore it Oh boy, where to start… Those of you who know me are well aware I haven’t been happy with the series since season 3 was halfway finished. I've pretty much been griping about every single change they've made, because I hate when producers want to make a big change to something that works just so they can make a big stir and advertise for free off of it. And you also know that I've been against Equestria Girls ever since it was announced. I knew what the story was going to be, I could take a big guess at how it was all going to go down. Even if I didn't get every detail right, I knew what was going to happen. But of course, what does everyone like to say? “Don’t be so judgmental on something you haven’t seen, you’re just being hateful, I can’t believe you don’t like something that I like, blehhhh.” Well, I just watched it, and guess what? I hated it. There were some parts I did enjoy, and it did get a few laughs out of me. I’m not going to be so closed minded where I can’t admit that a small percentage of this movie did work. So here’s what I have to say: Most of Twilight’s purpose of this movie, after stepping through the gate, was “how to fit in as these strange human creatures!”. In fact, I’d say that’s what the whole movie was until halfway through, when she finally got the gang back together and they started helping her get ready for the formal. It’s not the lowest form of entertainment, it’s just pretty unimaginative. Like they couldn't really come up with any other form of comedy like they had done in the first two seasons. So yes, it is pretty insulting to have the majority of the movie’s humor come from new world quirkiness and high school drama. Going off of that note, another form of humor that this movie relied on too much was cameo appearances, or “look, it’s your favorite pony character, but as a human! How wacky is that!?” And yes, it did get a giggle out of me, but do you know why it did? It’s because it made me think of how much I enjoyed them in their ORIGINAL form, not this new high school teenager form. Instead of coming up with new material on their own, the movie is just stuck referencing what has already worked in the past and copying it verbatim, and after that small giggle from me, I realized how cheap it was. Fine, I’ll admit it, human Big Macintosh was pretty cute, even if he was too skinny. The whole splinter between the mane six felt very forced. They were just misunderstandings that none of them took the time to investigate or discuss with each other. If they had just taken five minutes to make a phone call or another email or text or whatever, then it wouldn't have had to come to princess Sparkle to force them to talk it out. Flash Sentry: oh dear god, I cannot properly put into words how much I hate this character. Mr. Big Hunk Rocker Oh So Dreamy, please! Twilight’s attraction to him had no build, no development, no purpose to the story, nothing. He was just THERE. He was there so Twilight could make eyes at him. All she did was bump into him, and touch his hand. Ooh, what a connection! He did have one moment where he pulled Twilight out of a jam, but she was in it for about thirty seconds before he showed up, and fixed it in even less time. And she throws herself at him for it! Why is she so obsessed with this guy? She hardly even talks about why she likes him, and they have nothing in common. He’s a rocker guy with leather zipper jackets, she’s a try hard bookworm; where is the connection? I’m not asking for a match made in heaven or anything, I’m just asking for one thing in common. How about when Twilight was in the library, and Spike said that it looked like no one ever came there? Why not show him walking by her with a stack of books in his hands? “Hey, that cute guy likes books! I like books!” Connection!” Not hard! And it would have taken five seconds, if that! But without that, we have no reason for her to like him, he’s just a cute guy that she likes to look at, so they can make a boy doll for the girls to buy and pair with Twilight. Thank you Hasbro for ruining my best pony so that you could sell your toys. Absolutely disgusting. Last ten minutes, you know what? Pretty cool. Sunset became a pretty scary looking villain, and even pulled off some radical movements (even if her plan to take over Equestria with a “teenage army” made me facepalm). And I actually really liked watching the mane six do a Sailor Moon-esque transformation to become… anthro… whatevers… they grew wings and tails respectively. And I always love seeing the double helix cannon. So yes, that works. But then right when we get back to the pony world, who’s there for us again? Oh, it’s Flash Sentry! Looks like his obnoxious self is in this world too, how swell. I can see why some people say “it’s not as bad as I thought” or “better than I expected”. Because yes, it did surpass my expectations, by a very slim margin. I even enjoyed the second song in the movie, the one in the cafeteria, that was adorable. But guess what? It’s still bad. Even if it had some parts that I enjoyed, the overall thing is still not what this series needs. Not the worst movie I have ever seen, but certainly nothing that took my breath away and renewed my faith in the series. It’s not just the movie that’s made me hate it so much. It’s the fact that this is what we've been building to for three years. Three years of friendship, magic, villains, story, everything that we love in the series just so the third season could get cut in half, because they’re too busy making their big box office commercial for “hey kids, it’s ponies, only not ponies! Buy it!” I remember how excited I was when I heard the possibility of MLP finally getting its own movie. I was stoked! I even defended season 3 being shortened because I knew there was going to be a movie to make up for it. But I always thought it was going to be a PONY movie, not “ponies in high school”. This didn't need to be a movie. It needed to be the premiere of season four. The entire plot of this movie could have been resolved in two, maybe three episodes. And I would have been fine- well okay, not FINE with it, but I would have at least let it slide. The other thing that bothers me is when other fans say “Yeah, but it’s for the younger audience, and it’s their show.” I get that, yes, it’s to sell toys to girls, I understand that. But think back to why season 1 was such a hit. Wasn't it the fact that it surprised us with how little commercialism there was? I remember being shocked at thinking “Hey, it’s not just a toy commercial, it’s an actual show! I love this!” and a lot of people seemed to revolve around that idea. Since the season 2 ending, it seems like people aren't really caring about that anymore. We went from being happy that it wasn’t a commercial to accepting and even embracing its commercialism. What… what happened? Do you guys just want more pony at any cost, even if it means ruining what made it so special in the first place? Or is there really something behind this commercialism that I’m not seeing? Alright, I’m done. I’m going to get an ulcer if I write for much longer. Bottom line is that this movie is better than what I expected, but is still a disappointment to what this series started out as. I told Studio B to show me its war face, and it didn't convince me, they need to work on it. I have no hope for season 4 at this point. I might tune in to watch the train wreck, but I might be better off leaving it alone. It was fun while it lasted.
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