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Mar 31With the Merger coming up soon, we have created an official steam group for the combined sites. It can be found at http://steamcommunity.com/groups/PonychanSteam

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132094 No. 132094 [View]
#Sad #Dark #Adventure

Ok... I see no one cared about my last thread... so how about this.

Here's my fic, critique if you care. I would be very thankful.

2 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 132101
Thanks for the heads up. I don't usually go on these types of sites, but a friend recommended it to me so here I am.

I like to think I'm competent enough to not have to read the instructions, but since you had to tell me this, just shows what i know.
>> No. 132102
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ouch, those are some heavy hitters.

The only reason, I added the second description was because Fim Fiction said I had too. (In retrospect I probably could have added a single character to bypass the system)

I already knew there would be some grammatical mistakes because I'm only decent at proof reading, not great. As for the Zecora thing, i did look it up because i wasn't sure, i guess i used a bad source.

As for you not liking it in general. I guess I picked a bad writing style for this fic. Maybe i was trying to get too many ideas down too quickly, or maybe i just suck.

Would you prefer it if i wrote it something like this?
>> No. 132105
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Well, it's kind of a run on paragraph and hard to read.
And onomatopoeia like *splat* in prose is really questionable.
fallowed by Intense heat - Combo. Misspelling and capitalization error.
And you end up repetitive really quickly: The, It, and A especially.
It does seem to give the passage a passive voice. The roar explodes out, Twilight doesn't seem to have control over it or anything really. Or her eyes. I never really understood passive and active voice entirely, but this removes the characters capacity to act because they're are no longer choosing to act.
The smirk bursts onto her face, instead of Twilight smirking. It removes her capability to act on the story.

> Is that what your looking for?
No, it's not the events that take place in the story that I have problems with. I'd like to like the story actually.

Oh, you edited it after the last time I looked at it. That's... that's great.

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132068 No. 132068 [View]
#Single fic #Normal #Human


Is this salvageable? Please critique me.
5 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 132084
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>I want to see the core idea that causes people to start writing a fanfic in the first place.
>The best place to see that is the first chapter.
How many of my stories have you read? Usually the scene I wrote the entire story around doesn't happen until chapter three or four.

Last edited at Sat, Feb 21st, 2015 08:59

>> No. 132085
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>All that said, you have the creativity. There is some reason that you started writing this story, and you need to go back to that.

What sent me from the conception stage to production, like I previously mentioned, was change. How much change and what intervals the change takes place in, however, was left out of the equation. Realizing this, I confirmed my doubt about being able to have satisfactory change presented in my writing, one of the reasons I wrote in the first place.

>Don't worry about set up, execution, or themes. Just write the thing that's in your heart.

The problem with that is due to the flawed nature of my core idea that was the basis for my writing. It is flawed at a conceptual level; like you pointed out, I didn't have a set end goal, simply a series of events that lead into each other. In the end, the entire story lost its outline, and I was unable to grasp the flow I wanted.
>> No. 132091
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>How many of my stories have you read?
A few if memory serves correctly:
>Usually the scene I wrote the entire story around doesn't happen until chapter three or four.
Let me amend the statement then. I've gotten surprisingly accurate at predicting themes, word choice, pacing, and execution, to tell the general direction of a story from subtle hints set up in the first 500 words; including plot twists and character complexity, from being a reader and having to make snap decisions in that vein for years.

Because people telegraph their writing style. We can't help it. The core idea should permeate the entire work. If you're writing the story because there's going to be a falling out between Twilight and Spike, the seeds of that falling out should be in place early, because that's what the story is about.

The first words of a story should be setting the environment for the bulk of the story. That's why weather reports are so boring. There's a limited number of ways you can say 'It's a sunny day', and if the story is set indoors or on different days, that information is a waste of time.

I don't know how you would end that story, but I should see the structural building blocks of that story at the entry way.

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132090 No. 132090 [View]
#Author #Discussion

Sup pony people? let's chat about fics we've written as well as sharing them. Hopefully we can learn how to write fics better in the process.

So here's the first chapter of a fic I've started recently, under a new username-(Since i forgot my damn password...). It's called The Nightmare that Came to Ponyville, It's coming together nicely i think. It's definitely giving me less trouble then other works in the past. Anyway, it's a dark/sad/adventure piece where Twilight's life gets fucked. that's the short version anyway.


As for discussion, here's a question to get things rolling. how do you go about sharing your fics? do you post them up on websites all over the place trying to find an audience somewhere/anywhere, or just post them in one place and let your people/friends come to you?

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132073 No. 132073 [View]
Is this board a good place to seek such things? If not where would be a good place for me to go, if you kind folks have any suggestions.
>> No. 132076
A few of us do proofreading but it's recommended you post in a specific thread. I would recommend the Training Grounds.

If you don't get many results here, try one of these FimFiction groups.
>> No. 132083
Many thanks friend!

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131168 No. 131168 [View]


Hey ya'll. ok, so I got done with this fic a week ago. I'm really looking for some extra support. Perhaps a review or a YouTube fanfic reading? Just a few suggestions ^-^ looking forward to hearing from ya'll

Last edited at Tue, Nov 11th, 2014 18:16

12 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 131190
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I'm glad you're up to the part where you don't listen anyways.
It lets me know when my time is being wasted effectively.

At least your tags don't suck this time. What do I mean?
You know which tags don't work on Love Songs? Mane 6-Angel-DJ Pon3-OC.

The youtube link out of the box is tasteless. So tasteless I'm actually opting out of reading this.


Congrats. I'm sure it's worth something being able to terrify me out of looking at a fanfic without resorting to twincest or bloodsport.
>> No. 132054
>> No. 132082
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> -_-

You did ask.

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131129 No. 131129 [View]

For those of you that use this board, how would you feel about it being merged with another?

The reason for this idea is that a majority of this boards regulars are condensed into only a few threads, which could easily fit into another board's community without major upheaval.
This would also have the benefit of giving new threads a wider audience.

The current plan i have is to merge with /art/ and /collab/ into a single board (With a tentative name of /fan/, for lack of any other ideas) , but i'm making all three of these threads simultaneously so that plan is subject to change.

Another benefit to merging with those two boards in particular is that /art/ could provide inspiration for authors, while /collab/ may need a creative writer for whatever project is posted.

In any case, discuss the pros and cons of the idea in this thread.
I'll give fair warning before THE RECKONING happens, if it does at all.
43 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 132066
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>All the Kim hate
I thought he was tolerable. Granted, if he'd gone any more off the deep end in regards to those... interests of his, my opinion might have darkened a bit.

Interesting choice of picture, considering /fic/ is pretty much a bleached skeleton of its former self, but I prefer to think that's more indicative of a form of transcendence to another realm than its untimely death.
>> No. 132069
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> a form of transcendence to another realm than its untimely death.
It has achieved it's perfect form, stumbling into a nagging voice that hopefully makes people stop, look at what they're doing, declare it to be shit and start over.
Shambling horrors FTW.

>All the Kim hate
Ehh, I'm 50/50 myself. No one is entirely terrible, and everybody gets a free edgelord phase. No reason to upgrade to hate really.

Whelp, I've got a first chapter to read, and dreams to crush.
>> No. 132108
It's deserved, trust me. Kim's like a fireball. The closer you are, the more you get burned.

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6938 No. 6938 [View] [Last 50 posts]
TL;DR - A Choose Your Own Adventure... With Ponies!

Hey fellow bronies! I've been writing a few stories lately and I've noticed just how big the sensual fiction thread has gotten. So, being the attention horsee that I am, I thought to myself "How can I get into this action without exposing myself to the dubious nature of pony lime?" Indeed, what else then a limey story like that using second-person narrative?
And then it hit me.
A choose your own adventure story!

And so I have crafted this tale. Concerning a certain Pony who has hit rough times and is looking for a big break, said Pony will go on a grand adventure with the main (Mane) cast to find fame, fortune and possibly even love (Haf'ta get them limey lovers in here somehow)!

Now, being that I lack cannot for the life of me come up with a method to properly imitate a CYOA book without making hundreds of seperate interlocking pages (And being too lazy to actually bother doing so too) this will instead be less of a "Choose your path" and more of a "Select what progresses the story forward or get a smarmy answer for your duncery." There will, of course, be minor branches but these will be limited, both to keep the story from becoming Dr. Whoofs nightmare in regards to paradoxes but also so that I can regularly update with new chapters; four paths would mean half the writing in twice the time, after all!

The process will work like this; purple prose will break up the story to keep things chugging along while occasional questions will pop up to keep things fresh. Simply match up the question with right answer and you get to go on! Answer wrong and you'll get an earful in early chapters while suffering a terrible fate (With the occasional life-bondage to a hoof-massage fetish-lover, just for you limes) by the climax! The answers will be spoilered to keep prying eyes from seeing them; remember, half the game is reliant on you being trustworthy enough not to peek (Although once you've progressed you should take a look anyways; I worked hard on those wrong answers!).
318 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 121855
I did not, no. Spambot, I imagine.
>> No. 128121

I'm sorry to be a bother but is this story still underway? If it is already done is there some way to get to it? Yes I do know the thread has been dead for almost a year, I'm just wondering if I can continue reading your great literature.
>> No. 132067
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One last post bump for the grandaddy of /fic/. Celestia speed, you magnificent bastards.

Figured it'd be fitting to end the thread with a picture like the original.

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132061 No. 132061 [View]
Can you recommend me a fic, /fic/?

I'm looking for a fic that revolves completely around lesbian love-triangles and melodrama

Basically a pony version of Strawberry Panic

No. 132047 [View]

Hit me up

>> No. 132051
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That's a neat accomplishment list you've got there. Nice to see new young authors still at it. Keep writing.

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131454 No. 131454 [View]

I've been in a rut. Used to, I was burning with enthusiasm for, not just the show, but writing my own stories about FiM. But in the last few months, I feel like I've lost that loving feeling. I feel nothing for, not just FiM, but many of my favorite shows. And now, I'm only making myself finish my FiM fics because I never finished a fic and I want to actually finish one for once. I was wondering if I got bored with the shows I watched or am I suffering from depression or am I going through a temporary rut and is there any way out of it or will I have to wait it out or, worst of all, give up and accept the melancholy?

Pic related
8 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 132048
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I don't even remember my tripcode. It's been so long. I hope that's the right one.
I was a reviewer in a sense. I was more useful as an editor I think. I have no regrets. Editing fics gave me an edge that none of my classmates had. I made some sick English papers. Now I've graduated community college. I want to be a locksmith. I don't have the drive to do what I once did for /fic/. It was fun while I was here. I feel bad for making such good friends, only to fade away like I did, and am still doing. Life goes on though. My life is just beginning.
>> No. 132049
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Isphone, you are a true bro. I believe it's you even though you don't remember your tripcode. I remember you. I'm so happy to see you've found a passion in life. Having a passion is what's really important in life, I think. Because without some obligatory basal impetus, like that of a protagonist in a story, numero uno becomes that much less interesting. Maybe our obsession with writing pony stories that much better gave us some practice with seeing just how far we could take an obsession despite its inherent absurdity, being a fringe pastime associated with a cult fandom of a TV show meant for kids. Let us take that spark beyond /fic/, beyond My Little Pony, and beyond the internet.

Also, Incidentally I remember my trip artificially via some web browser thing.

Also, I want to come out and say >>131460 was me. Yea, OP, cheer up and watch something different, or go outside and stare at dirt or somethings. The world is full of wonder.
>> No. 132050
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Good to see you, and those are very fine words you speak. I hope, as you do, that they help those in need of uplifting, but I learned in life that people go about stress and stuff like that in their own way. No one really knows exactly how someone else feels. I can only really say that there are many who wish you the best, OP.
I got rid of most of my pony reaction images when I changed computers. I'm still a brony, I just don't have my hands intertwined in the living breathing guts of the fandom anymore. So... here's the wool lion head from Samurai Cop.

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128583 No. 128583 [View]

What is your general outlook on the grimdark genre?
Do you read/write grimdark sometimes?
What makes a story grimdark as classified by you?
What are important things a grimdark story must or must not do for you to enjoy it?
What are some grimdark stories you have enjoyed? (if you want to say why...)

(remark: my proper definition, sort of, of grimdark is a serious story that deals with heavy themes like violence and death in an explicit/graphic way)

What is your general outlook on clopfiction?
Have you ever read/written clopfiction?
What are important things a clopfic author must or must not do in order to write a good clopfic?

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131452 No. 131452 [View]
#Author #Kudos

So I've had a huge outpouring of love lately on Fimfiction, after someone linked to my stories on here. I can say that views and faves have gone up tenfold.

So whomever linked my stories - thanks. You rock.

~ Sparkler
2 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 131461
There's actually a statistics tab under stories to check what incoming links are involved.

So some people still read things from here. Also, there's the adbots, they like everything.
>> No. 131462

I actually didn't know about this place until it showed up in statistics.
>> No. 131463
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Ah, well, welcome. Around here we show stories a different kind of love: tough love. We're in the business of critiquing your story to death so you can turn it into a beautiful little work of literature that even harsh critics will enjoy. We've been around since early 2011, though the system back then wasn't nearly as sophisticated as it is now.
/fic/ We help Authors acquire better writing skills. Tell your friends.

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131413 No. 131413 [View]

Pleas vote for The Luna Cypher here https://plus.google.com/+VisualPony/posts/SQ4Q3xvagYx
The Luna Cypher is a sequel to The Celestia Code, that story in term had a lot of adventure, mystery, show references, friendship building and a little slice of romance. I realy want to hear this epic sequel as an dramatic reading. Therfor i need all of you to help me make this come true pleas help me and the 28 others that voted for this comic.

Link to The Celestia Code: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/141549/the-celestia-code

Link to The Luna Cypher: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/175385/the-luna-cypher
>> No. 131414
>> No. 131419
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Huh, much better than the last two.

This one could actually get some votes in your favor.
I could even be swayed to change my vote if it was positive enough.

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119870 No. 119870 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Discussion #General #StoryForge
Hello, and welcome to the eighth iteration of the Story Forge, /fic/'s story idea and brainstorming general thread!

If you have a story idea that you do not wish to write, or are looking for a seed of an idea upon which to build your world, consider this place a literary take-a-penny jar. We can also help flesh out your story ideas, but do suggest that once you get the ball rolling, to move the conversation to one of our many fine Review Threads. If you see someone asking for fic ideas, or posting a few, please direct them here.

Form if you want feedback on your idea: http://goo.gl/3rdNQ
The list of ideas: http://goo.gl/o4sCW

Previous thread: >>106451
312 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 131023

Links to the other crossovers would be appreciated so that I don't have you repeating something you know has already been done.

I've played Overlord, the expansion pack, Overlord 2, and Overlord: Dark Legends as well as The Elder Scrolls Oblivion and Skyrim, so hopefully I can be of help. To clarify the nomenclature, the original overlord is called the "Olderlord," the PC from Overlord is of course "Overlord," the PC from Overlord 2 is the "Underlord" because his "tower" is underground, and the PC from Overlord: Dark Legends is the "Overlad."

The first question is whether this is going to be a Trollestia universe. There have been fics reimagining Princess Celestia as a tyrant, or at least abusing her powers, which will in turn have an effect on the new overlord. I'm going to assume the answer is no, but I'd like you to at least consider Luna/Nightmare Moon, Discord, and especially King Sombra's role in your fic.

Second question is "purple minions," the hypothetical new variety of minions created when the lifeforce of one of the pony races is used instead of sheep. I would like you to at least consider a race of flying minions created from a former pegasi as among the reason for the invasion. I would also like consideration to be given to "black minions" created from Changelings.

Now a moment of headcanon: The stereotypical evil overlord was defeated by a party of eight fairly standard heroes: a halfling bard, an elf ranger, a dwarf warrior, a human paladin, a human thief, a half-giant fighter, a wizard, and a martyr. The name, race, and character class of the martyr who died in the act of defeating the evil overlord were never revealed, but we assume it to be a cleric of the Mumbler's religion. The original overlord, the Olderlord, cheated death by invading the mind of the old wizard. The martyr was resurrected by the few remaining evil minions in the broken tower to act as their temporary leade
>> No. 131407
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I literally cannot find any other place that is both like the Story Forge and also more active. Like, wow. So, here I am, asking for help here, because I'm really desperate for some feedback here. If you know of any good groups that would help iron out a story, I'd be much glad to hear of them.

The story is split between three books, only the first of which I've plotted. Each of them is intended to be between 20k and 40k words (think "Of Mice and Men"), totaling something shy of 90k altogether. The three books together make a three-act structure, while each individual book follows a loose five-act one. I'm shooting mainly for a fable-like Adventure fic.

The Characters
Reynard is a Diamond dog who has run away from the burrow, a protagonist.
Canticlear is a gryphon, a protagonist.
Isegrim is King of the Diamond Dogs, an antagonist.

The Plot
Reynard is found running through the woods outside of Hollow Shades by Canticlear. The two go together into the settlement, where Reynard informs them that the Diamond Dogs are intending to incite a war with Equestria and take the capital by surprise force. Canticlear and Reynard are sent by train to Canterlot. Their train is derailed halfway between Hollow Shades and Canterlot.
>> No. 131410
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Just some questions actually.

One, why does this have to be contemporaneously placed? With the exception of Blueblood, there's no reason to do it in a modern time besides character identification. Which could open a number of alternate stories.

Two, what sort of character are you playing Celestia as? Is she a pragmatic realist or an idyllic dreamer? Who Celestia is plays a huge role how she decides to affect the plot and:

Three, what type of governments are you thinking of? I can tell your Diamond Dogs are probably tribal with a patriarchal system behind them. I can't tell what your gryphons are though.
If you're just running Canterlot as a peaceful pony kingdom, I must remind you that Canterlot is a citadel built into the side of a cliff face, ie a fort designed for city defense.

How big are you thinking this war will get, because your 5x3 act structure seems a little small for it.
People are gonna die. Risk of death makes sacrifice meaningful. The way this is structured, there's going to be visceral, Shakespearean level could-have-been-prevented-but-wasn't death.

No. 131400 [View]
#Identification Request

I recently entered this page on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIkCzrePie8 - and while the video was running, I heard what I think was the opening to some kind of radioplay or dramatic reading playing in the background. Frankly, I'm not even sure it was pony-related, but there are some signs that it was.
I've looked into the HTML data and my temporary internet files and can find no trace of it, so I'm hoping that my fellow Bronies could help.
From what I remember, the audio seemed to be of Princess Celestia lamenting over her immortality. I remember the lines "...thousands of companions, though they're lifespans are that of a candle" and "...there is no delicacy in the world that I have not tried" and "...no one I can speak to...," or at least I believe it was something along those lines.
Frankly, it sounded awesome and I would like to find out what it was. It kinda sounded like the prelude to a 'Doctor Who' crossover.
If anypony can help me find it, please help me by emailing me. I would be very grateful and I would share it with everypony if it turns out to be awesome.
>> No. 131401
p.s. If this isn't exactly the place for this, could someone please tell me where the appropriate place is? :)

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