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Mar 31With the Merger coming up soon, we have created an official steam group for the combined sites. It can be found at http://steamcommunity.com/groups/PonychanSteam

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95560 No. 95560 Autosaged [View] [Last 50 posts]
Hello, Ponychan! My name is Golden Vision, and I will be your reviewer for this evening. Please keep all hooves inside the car at all times, and remember no flash photography- that's plagiarism, and Twilight will send you straight to Tartarus for that. In the meantime, would you like some cider with your daisy sandwich? Yes, yes, very nice...

So! Welcome to my review thread! I'm an author on both fanfiction.net (Sage of Seals) and fimfiction.net (Golden Vision), and like to pride myself as an editor of sorts, both on the nets and off. I will gladly preview and comment on your stories, as well as give full reviews that I will lavish with love and care. Please note that I will almost never dismiss anything out of hand. Moreover, being an author myself, I tend toward sympathy for the writer rather than harsh criticism.

I have a few preferences and requirements, listed below:

1) Please put the following tags in your post, for each story that you want me to review:
Author Name:
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>> No. 126793





>> No. 131021
I couldn't figure anything out really. There's just too many different opinions. I just called a debt relief program and they answered questions for like 30 minutes without charging me anything. They tried to sell eventually on some of their programs eventually, but the advice was great! Heres national debt reliefs number if anyone wants to try it 855-531-0255.
>> No. 131350
World wide web Small business Versions - Rely on The Major Element

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126576 No. 126576 [View]
Who's still here?
Sorry, but I absolutely despise stagnation. Despite that I'm well aware I can do nothing to stop this, I'm curious as to who still hangs around this side of the /fic/ community. Any regulars still paying attention, if you don't mind leaving a post saying you're here, I'd be much obliged.

Due to the overall deadness of this board, I'm sure this thread will stay on the front page for quite some time. Also, I'm leaving my name anonymous because anypony who knows me will know that this is me.
>filename completely unrelated
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>> No. 126722
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I'm usually next door on /oat/. I check in every once in a while here. Do a review here and there. Place is usually dead so I never say much anymore.
>> No. 126741
I lurk, but was never particularly active anyways.
>> No. 126751
I lurk a bit, but things I really want to comment on don't come up that often.

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126642 No. 126642 [View]

Where do you get your ideas from /fic/?
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>> No. 126689
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Cares to shares?

I could use a bit of the firewater for my brain babies.
>> No. 126699
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Actually, I get most of my ideas from gaming in general. Pretty much any kickass song, game, movie, meme, scenario can get my brain working, though Touhou has been pretty prevalent lately.

Though admittedly, there's some copypasta. MWEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEE!!!
>> No. 126724
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Sometimes I just expand on the idea of an existing episode or an aspect of the show, other times I just pick a fairly typical idea and roll with it.

No. 126660 [View]
#Single fic #Sad

Okay so I've had this idea for a fic for a while, I know most of you are going to think it's kind of like My Little Dashie and it's because I got most of my inspiration from MLD, so would you guys mind telling me what you think? I still haven't thought of a title xDD Its a lil long for what I have so far too, sorry bout that.

My life has never been a sociable experience. I’ve never had many friends, and the small amount of friends I did have weren’t very good friends. They would steal my stuff and talk about me behind my back. I tend not to talk to many people now. I’ve come to a realization that the world is full of malevolent people who can say they’re your friend but don’t understand that actions speak louder than words. My whole life I’ve wished to have just one person that I can honestly call a friend. For 17 years I’d wake up everyday and just hope by some miracle I would meet someone that would finally be able to change the loneliness in my life. But it’s never happened. It’s the same thing everyday. I wake up, lie in bed for another 15 minutes or so, get out of bed and make some food then lie back down. Day after day it seems to be more of a challenge to get out of bed knowing thats it’s going to be the same thing as everyday. I sometimes like to think back at the times when my mom would be in the kitchen to greet me with a smile when I woke up every morning, my mom was my only friend, and even though she’s passed I still consider her my only friend. I never met my father, he left my mom when I was no more than a few months old. The only thing I have that keeps me relatively happy is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The colorful personalities and kind nature of the ponies always warms my heart to a point where life is barely bearable. I’ve been saving money for the past few months to get a Rainbow Dash plushie, and after making multiple threads on Ponychan and MLP forums I finally got a reply from someone who makes plushie in my price range. He told me it would take a few weeks to make but I was still happy knowing I would be getti
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>> No. 126663
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Since I'm not really a writer, I'm not sure how much help any tips I can give you are going to be. I might even be wrong. ...Ah, I'll say things anyways.

1. Read more. This is probably the most important thing, I would think, for anyone who wants to write stuff. The more you read, the more ideas and styles you're exposed to. Artists study art; writers read. Not just pony stories, either--that includes books you read in school, paperbacks, etc.
2. There are a bunch of guides in the sticky, under "Writer Guides". It might seem long, but I suggest reading all of them. They're really helpful to both new and experienced writers. There's also an advice thread on MLPChan's /fic/. Link: http://mlpchan.net/fic/res/3348.html
Those links are mostly for arranging words into readable form. For coming up with a story, here's advice from Pixar:
3. Listen to criticism, even if you don't end up taking it.
4. Practice. It won't make perfect, but it'll get you closer to it.

And that's all I have for now. I'm sure other posters will chime in. (Ion-Sturm, if you're reading this, you've missed your readthesticky.gif timing window by... a lot.)

Last edited at Fri, Feb 15th, 2013 11:06

>> No. 126664
Im always open to criticism, anything to help me improve, thanks man, hopefully all that will help.
>> No. 126667
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This is angled towards those attempting to get on EQD, but much of the discussion is still valid and worthwhile.

Best of luck!

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126615 No. 126615 [View]

Found this Vault interview on Fimfiction, thought you guys might find it funny/insightful:


Pic unrelated.

Last edited at Wed, Feb 13th, 2013 04:43

8 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 126641
Eh, that doesn't seem like summoning the hugbox that much. Amit asks for people to say what they dislike, after all.

...Of course, this is Fimfiction we're talking about, so a hugbox appeared anyway.
>> No. 126656
Did she just check my grammar on a imageboard post and dismissed my points because of it? No wonder my friends said Chayotance was an unrepairable dick.
Edit: I take that back, Chayotance is crazy and I want to stay as far away as I can now.

That aside, people that like you are the ones who will get notifications about this, so it is only logical that you will get only people like that commenting on it.

In any case, that whole thing just goes further to prove my point. I do love the whole discussion, where everyone seems to be trying to write longer than the previous person for ... reasons, apparently, I am presuming showing off, but I can't be quite sure with the sort of shit piling up.

By the way, hi Amit, didn't know you spend your time looking around for pockets of people talking about you. Care to write something good?

Last edited at Thu, Feb 14th, 2013 22:44

>> No. 126657
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>I am presuming showing off
I understand monkeys and untrained dogs view most human action as a show of dominance or submission but sometimes human beings like to do things like write paragraphs about Ramasamy Periyar for the fun of it

fucking love periyar man

badass motherfucker

>Care to write something good?
pic related

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126568 No. 126568 [View]

Would you kindly help me remember the name of an mlp fanfic I read some time ago. It was a about a boy that gets transported to Equestria (don't worry, I'm gonna narrow it down) because of a goddess that granted him a wish. He wished for sex but when the goddess asked what "sex" meant, he described it (kinda) using the word "adventure" so she mistook as him wanting an actual adventure. It was on Fimfiction, but it was quite a while ago since I read it and was hoping it has been updated since then. Thank you kindly in advance for helping.
>> No. 126650
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Tha's one crazy premise. Also, you should ask in Recommendation/Request General (>>121064). Probably.

Anyway, hope you find what y're lookin' for.

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74475 No. 74475 [View]
Um.... I just read.... Cupcakes... What the.... ....

Forenote: If you haven't read Cupcakes omg DON'T IT'S GRIMDARK

Could someone tell me who's responsible for this.... story? I.... wtf.... who the hell would.... I don't even...

Why? Why would anyone WRITE that? I...

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>> No. 77453
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> SWEET BAJEEZUS it's a cult passed down?

Didn't you read the story? It's a series of ponies that engage in the horrible actions for one reason or another.
It's not genetic or anything, seeing as Applebloom is unrelated to Pinkie Pie as far as we know.

So many people focus on the Pinkie or the Dash aspect of the story, and so many revisions cut off the AB section, it loses impact on me.
Focus on killing Dash or Rarity or even Fluttershy, and it's a story about a murder. I mean, they kill Twist and Diamond Tiara off camera in most.
Add in one little scene where a young pony is being trained to do it as well, and it becomes horror; It's not one lone psychotic, but a group that is organized and feels they are acting with purpose.
>> No. 126585
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... Well, the things I find when I dig through the archives.
Hey um... anypony who's still around. do you know where I can find a version with said final scene? I enjoyed the version I found on FF.net, but if that was an incomplete version...
>Did it have the Applebloom scene? If it didn't have that, you read one of the rewrites. V.2 is pushed around as the actual fic, but it changes the ending in a minor, yet tone shifting fashion.
>> No. 127742
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Oh wow, this is still here?

Google: cupcakes original creepypasta
Should be one of the first two links. One is the revised version that ends: Pinkie had a friend to make. One is the less edited original that ends: Who's gonna be a blank flank.
More or less, It's been a few days since I last read them.

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126570 No. 126570 [View]
#Discussion #Normal #Shipping

Synopsis: When Spitfire finds herself grounded on the team injured list just before a show in Manehatten, she prepares for her life to crumble around her. The experience leads her to come across Rainbow Dash, temporarily managing the Manehatten weather teams. The two fliers will discover that sometimes it takes the darkest moments of our lives to find the brightest ones.

Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/58588/fire--rain

Note: This would be my first time posting something to a chan, so I'm probably effing up something. I'd appreciate any feedback anyone has.
>> No. 126575
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Looks like you've got a nice story set up there. Since you're new to chan sites in general, it's somewhat excusable that you've missed the sticky. We have a system around here that helps everything run smoother: Read the sticky ( >>112263) and search the list of review threads for one you think will be most helpful to you. We have several single reviewer threads, and some collaborative ones as well. The Training Grounds is popular, but the queue is growing at the moment, so there's no promise you'll be gotten to any time soon. There are also several single reviewer threads, each with their own set of rules.

A tip to navigating smoothly around here: Read everything fully and carefully. It will make everypony's lives easier. Have fun and enjoy your stay at /fic/ We hope you choose to stick around longer, but understand if you don't.

Not one of my better greetings

Last edited at Mon, Feb 11th, 2013 14:10

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119404 No. 119404 Autosaged [View] [Last 50 posts]
Greetings all, and welcome to the Training Grounds, the review thread for all authors, reviewers, proofreaders, and editors, both newcomer and seasoned veteran alike. It isn't the only such thread, but it's usually the busiest! (Previous edition of The Training Grounds; The sticky, which contains important information)

If you're a reviewer, old or new, and you want feedback on your review, please put a "*" at the front of the subject line of your review post.
For writers:
Submission guide | TL/DR of the submission guide | List of TTG regulars | Submission form | List of recently-finished reviews | Reviews in progress
For reviewers:
How to review | List of unclaimed requests
For Maintainers:
The full, current active queue | Statistics and queue-dump text for thread updates | A guide to how it's all organized
Live communication:
The IRC channel
Some Notes:
410 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 121218
NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!! >>121215 NEW THREAD!!
>> No. 126536
Tags: Strong Friend-shipping/Light Shipping

Synopsis: A night of soul-searching leads Rainbow Dash to spend some time with a friend for some stargazing, and discover that it might be her feelings that show her what she needs most.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10RT3DKiuctzrGq29oacGUwKPQ0z0X3UaRqKjJVCt_vU/edit?usp=sharing

I'm looking for some formal pre-reading/editing on this little story I couldn't help but write after listening to too much Owl City one night. I ask for help here as the usual editors I work with aren't strongly experienced in commenting/ giving feedback on shipping or romantic tales. I 'm also coming here as this is the first time I've ever written such a story, and I'm hoping to get a broad level of opinions from anyone who does take a look.

The lack of skill in romance is probably obvious, but I do believe that I can turn this story into something great if with a push in the right direction. Although I hope it isn't too much of a trainwreck to read through. I'm just hoping I can figure out what's good enough to stay, and what needs to be cut and readjusted, before I formally publish it anywhere.

Thanks in advance.
>> No. 126546
Just be aware that this thread is several generations old, so your review will be posted in the current one:

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70737 No. 70737 Autosaged [View] [Last 50 posts]
Please note: this isn’t a standard review thread. It’s not for entire fics, and anyone may feel free to chime in.

While we have many lovely review threads here, I’ve noticed that the fic synopsis is often overlooked (unless it’s been left out entirely, which does draw attention). The synopsis is one of the most important parts of a story, as it can determine whether or not the reader reads anything more. So, here’s a mini-review thread. Post tags and synopsis for your fic, and someone will tell you what you’ve done right and wrong.

My admittedly inexpert advice for synopses:
-Proofread. Proofread the buck out of your synopsis. If I see spelling or grammar errors, that doesn’t bode well for the fic proper.
-Keep it short. A few sentences should be enough. Don’t try to fit a whole chapter it there.
-Avoid rhetorical questions. This one’s more debatable, but I feel that rhetorical questions weaken synopses in the same way they weaken stories.
-Avoid parentheses, for the same reasons as above.

To start off, here are synopses for a couple of my stories. (Both of these are based on obscure indie RPGs. I’ve got other stuff in the pipeline, but these two are my focus right now. So hipster.) Please tell me what you think.
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>> No. 122132
Hey, all. I’m alive and fairly well, just inactive. New thread at >>122131

The potential problem I see is that you’re not doing much for readers unfamiliar with Binding of Isaac. If you want to attract readers unfamiliar with the source material, you’ll need more description of your story’s specifics, rather than the broader references to BoI. This depends on the readership you’re looking for. The title is another way to signal this; “The Five Horses of the Apocalypse” will likely be more attractive to non-BoI people than “The Binding of Twilight” would.
>> No. 126540
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>> No. 130853
Who's calling? <a href=" http://xvideos.xmov8.com/ ">xvideos</a> Nice to watch a film with natural sounds from the girl, not the average butchering a pig type of crap

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126468 No. 126468 [View]
#Author #Single fic #Discussion #Sci-fi #Grimdark #Alternative Universe #Human

Fillies and Gentlecolts of /fic/

I'm rather new on the MLP Fiction scene and I've been wondering about a recent story I've completed. I see a lot of other authors having their works looked at by Pre-readers and I thought that perhaps I should look into one too.

I've perused a few of the ones posted here, seeing some that would fit the bill, the only problem I have is the whole 'word count' issue.

You see...my story, after all the writing and editing I did on my own, came to almost 130,000 words, YIKES!
I'm not sure even Twilight would take the time to...wait...never mind.
Tbh I think for the moment only SHE would be the one willing to dive into a deep challenge such as this, but seeing as she's more or less fictional, I'm left at a loss.

I'm not trying to self promote my work, more for the matter I'm trying to find those who would be interested in helping me refine my work and see what things I could/should change and how to go about doing it. 130,000+ words for a story seems like one heck of a read and I'd be honest, I wouldn't want to reach THAT many words again for the second or third story in the series I'm doing.
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>> No. 126477
Haha, alright alright, then I won't ask you to read the whole thing, at least a few of the chapters I kind of prided myself on doing.
They are: 3, 5, 7, 9 and 13

If you at least check those out, you should get a good idea of how I do it, the only bigger issue I have is that I'm still working on Story number 2 and thats taking a tad longer to work on. Being able to chat with someone about the ideas I have and trying to keep it set to a few chapters less than the first is what I'm trying to do.

If you're willing to pursue the chance of being a long-term pre-reader, would you be willing to chat on Skype?
>> No. 126479
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Skype's in the email field, since we both seem to be online right now.
>> No. 126480
Done and done.

My username should be the name you see, thought its Silver_wulf1

Last edited at Mon, Feb 4th, 2013 20:50

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126430 No. 126430 [View]


A sad and tragic story about the lonely life of an orphaned pegasus.
>> No. 126431
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The only sad part about this is you not reading the sticky, and the tragedy comes from me being the first to respond.

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126416 No. 126416 [View]
#Author #Collection

Hey folks. I'm here to do a bit of shameless self promotion -- really, it's the best kind of self promotion. I have a few different stories up now so I figured, why not make one of these fancy author threads. Let's get started shall we? Here's my current works:

A Visit From the Princess:

Princess Celestia takes a day off and visits her favorite student. Drunken hijinks ensue.

Tags: Slice of life
Starring: Celestia, the mane 6, and the CMC.
Status: Complete
1 post omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 126418
Dammit. I knew I was going to mess up one of them.

In other news, Kinds of Love is posted. Can't direct link it because of the rules, but it's on my Fimfiction account.
>> No. 126420
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psst... You can edit your posts, yo.

Seriously, just check there at the bottom right, next to "reply" and "report".

Oh, and /fic/ is a bad place for shameless horseing. Not enough people to advertise to. Old /fic/ is even worse. Just a thought.

On that note, have music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U1aUt7kd8M

Otherwise, welcome, and don't feed the rabid attack hounds.
>> No. 126421
Right. I'd only let me do it from the main /fic/ page.

Anyways, that one story that I can't post, Kinds of Love, got on the featured section. Fuck yeah!

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79297 No. 79297 [View]
If you were reading a fic and half way through a piece of description was, instead of a colour, an rgb hex value, would that be humourous or would it just pull you right out of the moment?
6 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 79354
Yes, it would pull me right out of the moment. I imagine the same would be true for anyone, even somebody who could parse the meaning of it without difficulty, because the fact that it's so unexpected requires the reader to think about it. And whenever a reader has to stop and think about the author's writing (as opposed to thinking about the story itself), all immersion is destroyed.

As some others here have already suggested, that might be fine if you're writing a crack fic. If the story was serious in any way, shape, or form, it would be totally inappropriate.
>> No. 79588
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If one character said it to another character, and it was played off as a Sheldon Cooper moment.

Then, hell yes-- I'd love it.

Now, if it was said in the voice of the narrator/writer etc... it would be weird.
>> No. 79642
It'd totally pull me out. It's more than a different language, it's a different technical trend altogether.

Any word outside a reader's vernacular is likely going to interfere with the flow of the story. It's why Purple Prose is a bad thing.

Same thing here. I don't know anything about rgb hex values, it's outside my vernacular, so if you went and said "the sky was an endless expanse of #0000FF, broken only by a few lazily drifting #FFFFFF clouds" I wouldn't know what the hay you were talking about.

Also, prose is more than just description, you need to chose words that have the correct meaning and sound, etc. I doubt a number would fit well as substitute.

But there's always exceptions. I totally agree with >>79588 on this.

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106852 No. 106852 [View]
So I gotta be honest, I'm not sure if any of these review threads are good for scripts.

Call me lazy or me have bad grammer, but I'm just more comfortable with scripts and wondering what the best avenue to take when trying to get notes and reviews.

Pic unrelated, it's Tolstoy.
2 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 106878

It's a legit scripts, stage directions, formatted for dialogue, the works.

I'm less interested in EqD then I am with it being good for possible production a later time and space.
>> No. 106895
Good luck finding the four-legged people to perform it.
>> No. 106910


Boom, just hire them.

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