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Mar 31With the Merger coming up soon, we have created an official steam group for the combined sites. It can be found at http://steamcommunity.com/groups/PonychanSteam

No. 122535 Locked [View]

Starting a creative review thread. It won't be the

>Command
Response

Kind of thing, I'll read it and say what I think aout it and pull out common grammatical mistakes I find, probably give it a "X / 100" rating.

Post away, please.
8 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 122553
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122553
>> No. 122554
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122554
>>122535
>> No. 122556
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122556
>>122550

Deleted all the duplicate posts. Once is more than enough, mate.

Gonna be locking this thread, and if you're actually serious about starting your own review thread, I'd recommend reading the sticky and trying again.


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118335 No. 118335 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Reviewer #Discussion #Presidential
When I look over my not-so-illustrious political career, I am always extremely disappointed in the part that was my second term as President of the United States of America. Even more depressingly, the only thing for which I am remembered is that particular part of my career; the lousy pigs Woodward and Bernstein made sure of that. At times like these, I usually think about just putting it all to an end. After all, I'm ninety-nine-gong-on-one-hundred. What else is there to see or do anyway? Well, yesterday, I had an epiphany: I shouldn't commit suicide, as committing suicide would only allow me to turn my mental pain into physical anguish for an instant. I needed something worse than death, something that would allow me to cry out in agony every night until I was finally granted the sweet release of death---I needed to review fan-fiction again.

For those of you who do not know me (about fifty-percent of you), I was formerly a reviewer here on Ponychan with my own little review thread that was "locked by request." I had a street-rep for being very good at finding grammar errors, and I intend to hold myself to the high standards I have set. I've been working very hard to get my plot-judging abilities on par with my grammar-judging abilities, and I think those of you who are familiar with my work will be presently surprised at the change in quality of this area of my review. Now then, shall we get to the part were I make a bunch of lists that dictate how this thread works?

Things You Should Know About Me:

1) I print your story. It helps me to see your errors more clearly, and, since I cannot access Facebook from a sheet of paper, it keeps me focused on my work. What does this mean for you? It means that any last-minute changes you make will not be seen, and you will only receive comments on a GoogleDoc after I have posted my review on Ponychan. I do keep your stories in a portfolio, so, if you are uncomfortable with someone keeping a print copy of your work, don't ask for a review from me.
89 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 120722
>>120638
Gah, I just need someone to look over a plot outline
>> No. 121145
>>120722
I might have my weak points when it comes to the technical side of writing, but I'd be happy to take a look at your outline.

Also, now I'm getting a little worried about President Nixon, he's been quiet for a couple of weeks now. :c
>> No. 122487
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122487
<Return to this world, Nixon; your people need you.>


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122379 No. 122379 Locked [View]
#Author #Anything.

Hi /fic/,
My name's Anon (although I got the nickname "Psycho" in 4chan's /mlp/ board) and I like writing. The problem is: my usual audience, the /mlp/ peeps, banned me.
Now, I want you as my readers.
So give me some inspiration.
Make it interesting. And I'll try my best to make something decent.
Until then,
Psycho.
>> No. 122380
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122380
Hi there! We on /fic/ have an entire thread (or eight) dedicated to ideas that writers don't have the time or skill or stuff to write themselves. You can find it at >>119870. Do keep in mind Ponychan's rules, though--they're a little stricter than 4chan's.
>> No. 122382
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122382
>>122380

This. Thanks, Derpyanon. Enjoy your stay on Ponychan and good luck with the writing!


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122284 No. 122284 [View]
#Discussion

Hello people and ponies of Ponychan! You may call me =D (or whatever else you want, so long as it falls within Community Guidelines).

I am a big fan of Blackwell's ...and Philosophy series, so I thought it would be fun if we did something similar here on the /fic/ board. Basically, we will discuss the philosophy behind popular My Little Pony fan-fictions. I've made a sample to get the thread started.

DISCLAIMER: I make no claims of being a brilliant philosopher; my knowledge of philosophy is extremely limited.

Fallout: Equestria; Is it Right for Ponies to Eat Ponies?

Even those of you who are only a little bit familiar with Fallout: Equestria know that it is very, very violent, so when Little Pip and the gang encounter the overtly friendly town of Arbu, you know that either everypony in this city is doomed or that the city holds a dark secret. After Little Pip and friends are treated to a delicious stew for saving the villagers from a group of thieves, we assume that our former assumption was correct, and that Arbu is most certainly doomed because of the evils of the Wasteland.

Until we find out what was in the stew.
>> No. 122317
>>122284

Interesting topic. Let's see where this thread goes.

As far as your actual points are concerned however, I'm going to have to disagree with most of your conclusions. Your arguments in favor of pony cannibalism from both the deontological and utilitarian schools of thought rest on the assumption that failure to cannibalize was equal to death. If we remove this assumption, then things get hairy really fast.

In the case of Arbu, it appears that cannibalism is engaged in not because the alternative is the death of everyone in the town, but because the town itself lacks food and trade materials sufficient to maintain itself otherwise. Now, it's certainly true that, the Equestrian Wasteland being what it is, the collapse and dissolution of Arbu probably means that most of its inhabitants will die, but the point is that we aren't facing a black and white "eat pony or starve to death" situation.

Moreover, your dentological argument seems to skip over the fact that Arbu doesn't just harvest dead bodies; they kill travelers for their meat, and they sell that meat to unsuspecting traders. A strict dentologist would probably hold that 1) murdering ponies is bad, therefor 2) murdering ponies to eat their flesh is still bad. Toss in the lesser sin of trading in ill faith, i.e. out-and-out lying, and it's hard to see how a dentologist could make the case that Arbu's actions are good.

As for the utilitarian perspective? Their argument is only valid so long as the number of ponies killed doesn't exceed the number whose lives are saved. Arbu clearly isn't a big place; although there aren't any numbers given in the story, the fact that Pip is able to single-hoofedly massacre the entire population over a relatively short span suggests to me that the number of ponies living there is probably not much over a hundred, if that. Considering how long Arbu's been in the cannibal business, I think it's safe to say that they've long since exceeded
>> No. 122325
>>122317

Pleasantries:

Oh goody! My first poster!

As I said before, I make absolutely no claims of being a brilliant philosopher (or even a good one!), so if I commit any major faux pas, please forgive me. I will attempt to rebuttal anything I find wrong in your argument and agree where I think you are correct.

First off: That thing you people do when you quote me with arrows and blue text: How do you do that? I think it would help me present my thoughts better.

(A Pitiable Attempt at an) Argument:
>> No. 122341
>>122325

To green-, er, bluetext, just type a > at the start of the line

>like this.

It does the rest automatically.

While I understand the argument behind your hypothetical utilitarian's point, the equation quickly spirals towards uselessness as we add variables. For example: ponies trade for food with Arbu. Is all of that trade necessary to sustain life, or is some of it a matter of convenience? Do some towns find it easier to purchase "radgator" meat than to try and hunt their own, even if they hypothetically could? If so, then we have to factor the number of traders' lives lost while transporting what are, essentially, luxury goods into the picture: had Arbu not been trading cannibalized ponies, those traders wouldn't have been traveling the wastelands (or at least, there would be fewer traders to match the reduced need for trade), and thus their deaths can be "blamed" on Arbu.

Of course, we can go the other way, too: if there would be fewer traders in the badlands without Arbu's meat production, then presumably that means traders would come to towns less frequently, which might mean deaths due to disease which could have been cured had merchants bearing medicine been making more frequent trips, for example. But the point is that once you get beyond immediate consequences, it's awfully hard to make a numbers judgement that's anything more than a guess. For a real-world example of how hard these kind of second-and third-order variables are to calculate, consider the economic impact an NFL team has on the city around it. The NFL estimates that each of its franchises brings $50,000,000 plus to their respective communities each year; other groups (specifically, those that campaign against state funding for stadiums) estimate the yearly impact to be a fraction of that. The vast difference in numbers comes from trying to figure out things like how much bar and restaurant revenue is generated by people watching games and


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119728 No. 119728 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Event
Hello, everyone.

I'm sure you're all very interested to hear how the write-off website has been coming along. Well, the short answer is, it's time for a test run, so I'm hosting a minific contest to kick start the site.

You can find all the details at http://writeoff.rogerdodger.me/

The event starts Sat, 22 Sep 2012 16:00 UTC, where the prompt submissions will open. That round will last for an hour, followed by the prompt voting round which will also last an hour.

The main event—the writing round—will begin Sat, 22 Sep 2012 18:00 UTC, and lasts for 24 hours. The word limit on the stories is 300–600 words. You are allowed multiple submissions.

When the writing round is over, the stories will go up on the »fic Write Off« Fimfiction account as usual, and a public poll will be released to rate the stories. Afterwards, the results will be released & tallied.
413 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 122418
>>122315
Woo! Many thanks.

>>holding a letter in his teeth.
>Would be nice to see this affect his speech, either by imitating it or through word choice/description.
*repeats the phrase "Apple Bloom? Mail's here" like fifteen times with his teeth together, and is glad he lives alone* Eh, it doesn't seem to be affecting me too much, and I kinda prefer to undersell it after one embarrassing time of overdoing it far too much :3. An extra description would probably suffice.

>Why didn't you name her Nemo?
*facehoof* heh... While that's a little too on-the-nose, I might just end up changing her color scheme to orange and white >_>

>Nostalgic is an attitude, not a physical description. Show me her expression
Eeyup. Was short on word count lazy, got caught.
>> No. 122419
Time for a new thread, then?

>New prompt is "Deal with the Devil"
I'd like to think my mini was the reason for it, but I'm probably overselling myself. Regardless, I have a plan in store, but I'm worried about it being identified since it's mashing several ideas I've publicly announced before together. Hopefully people have a shorter memory span than I give them credit for.
>> No. 122420
>>122418
On seeing Scootaloo as the worst off... I completely missed what her job was. I thought she was just helping out that young filly and taken her on like Dash did for her. With Derpy's involvement, I assumed Scoot was a postal worker.


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118705 No. 118705 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Discussion #Normal #Random #Comedy #Poetry
Only post haiku
Related to ponies here
All are welcome to!
61 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 122073
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122073
>>122068
Bleeding bumped a haiku thread
Which was worse than stale bread
So Ion-Sturm did yell
"Dude, what the hay?"
And so Bleeding lost all of his cred.
>> No. 122074
>>122073
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
Filter completely borked it.
>> No. 122075
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122075
>>122073
Silly Ion Sturm
That's not a haiku, you see.
My cred is okay


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118858 No. 118858 [View]
#Reviewer #Decepticon #IC
Greetings, Equestrians.

I am Shockwave, and I have taken an interest in your world and the fictions inspired by it. Unfortunately, the majority of these are terrible: riddled with mechanical errors or blighted with poorly conceived original characters.

I wish to rectify this.

To that end, I have created this thread. Aspiring pony authors may submit their fictions to be judged by my eye. I will provide corrections and suggestions and—if all goes as planned—the fictions will emerge improved.

Submit, if for no other reason than to spare other reviewers.

SUBMISSION REQUIREMENTS
♦Title
52 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 121955
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121955
>As I have said, the review above is the last for the foreseeable future. However, I would like to wait on closing this thread until I hear back from FMP—and anybody else with a question, comment, or concern.
>> No. 121961
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121961
>>121955
A shame this thread must close. Your advice thus far has been quite useful to many, myself included. Mr. Shockwave, it has been an honor, and I do hope your leave is not a long one.
>> No. 121989
First off, thanks again for reviewing this. I'm always looking for more help on this story. Don't worry about taking a bit, I've been working on this thing since May. By Celestia I will get this on EQD!

>This time, her hoof produced a hollow echo when it hit the ground.
What is the function of this sentence?

It's in contrast to the way she silently and carefully made her way to the bathroom.

>No, I didn’t hear any glass breaking, just water hitting the ground.
This is unrealistic phrasing for a thought, and would be better conveyed by the narrator.
changed to: Did Willow knock a glass over? Her ears swiveled around a bit, but they hadn’t picked up the sound of shattering glass, only the sound of water falling.



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74658 No. 74658 [View]
Everyone cites My Little Dashie. But by far, NOTHING can be sadder than Final Dreams of a Filly (also known as "I couldn't wake you, because you can never wake up again..." or somesuch on FiMFiction):

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/10/story-final-dream-of-filly.html

>mine countenance whereupon reading that.
>don't cry don't cry don't cry
27 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 74951
>>74950
he said he left because he thought we were turning into furries
>> No. 121803
look up doctor whooves then>>74668
>> No. 121804
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121804
>Bump from December
This is getting ridiculous.


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121545 No. 121545 [View]
#FiMFiction Group

Greetings, /fic/. I have been assisting someone with building something meant as another sort of reviewing/author help group on FiMFic centered around helping those whom the pre-readers reject from Equestria Daily, and I felt that a group like this would interest you all. Some of these people would like reviews, and in general I would say the group needs more attention.

http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=706

I in no way mean to offer an alternative to /fic/ or to replace such institutions as the Training Grounds, but I feel that should some of /fic/'s userbase assist with or use this group that all would benefit. Some people are intimidated by chan boards (or assume that they're all like 4chan, for whatever reason) so this place could be a bit more user friendly in some situations.

Please give it a quick look if you have time. I believe it's a worthwhile project if more interest could be generated, and very related to the focus of /fic/.
13 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 121836
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121836
>>121789
>All roads lead to the TG in one form or another
>Ion
>Lack of semi-disturbing gif, likely of a whirlpool or quagmire.
>mfw
I had grown accustomed to your gifs, although that pic almost justifies the lack of one.
>> No. 121841
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121841
>>121787
>It's more likely the distrust of chans in general
This is a very good point. There are just some people who get irked by the concept of chan boards, an acquaintance of mine whom I respect being one. In his case, he did a course in website design, so something-or-other just unnerved him. Whelp. Doesn't help that to the uninitiated, chans mean 4chan and /b/, which says it all really.

>>121780
Because >>121782, because the system here is, atm, the best (again, glory to the spreadsheets), and because pretty pictures.

>>121789
>Comfort, familiarity. I honestly can't think of any reasons that were levied in the old discussion thread besides "But we're already here."
Yep, this as well. I'm pretty sure there's some psychological theory behind it, but until researchers turn their focus to the digital world, that theory won't get a proper name.

Personally, I also prefer chan posts to Fimfic's comments if it came down to delivering reviews via post (rather than in-doc comments). Maybe it's the lightly-coloured background, or the compactness compared to fimfic's text boxes, with have a wider margin, or maybe it's that your review post is nestled with other review posts rather than hugboxes and "dis gunn b gud" gifs. Feels more like a workshop than your comment in a sea of white "followed xoxo"s.
>> No. 121847
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121847
>>121836
>Lack of semi-disturbing gif, likely of a whirlpool or quagmire
Something like this?
>although that pic almost justifies the lack of one
Don't like Lulu of Final Fantasy fame?

>>121841
Yes, the general environment also plays a role, I suppose. Hard to feel like you're making a difference there when you can click almost any random story and be presented with something that defines "Terrible" in a new and not-so-exciting way.


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98402 No. 98402 [View]
#Discussion
I've been having trouble with giving feedback lately. With the base of reviewers and everyone here, I hope there is someone here who has been through a similar situation or has enough experience that they can give me advice.

I've been trying to help writers with their fics, but recently, I've feeling like my advice is tired and empty. I'm seeing the same "mistakes" in every fic, regardless of whether they are actually there or not, and it's been taking longer than normal just to give lower than I expect quality feedback. It's as though I can no longer tell the difference between good and poor writing and I'm no longer seeing stories, just blobs of words on the page.

I want to help other writers and I feel awful when I'm doing nothing and leaving the author hanging, having to make do on their own or pass the burden to someone else. But I feel like bringing less than my best is doing the writer a disservice. Even at my best, I was nothing more than a barely passable reviewer. When I work at only part of my ability, I can't really expect to help and am likely hurting the writer.

I'm guessing the problem is something between burnout, reaching a plateau in my abilities, and unreasonable expectations. But if any other reviewers had experienced anything like this or could give advice on what I could do to fix this, I would like to get back to reviewing and not leaving authors on their own.

I realize that there are two responses that I will probably get.
First, I'll get those who say that even working at low quality, I'm still helping and being useful. Since I'm posting anonymously and you have no idea what I've done, that statement is either bull or empty. Somewhat similar is the sickening, but inevitable wave of pity, the "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "Feel better" messages. I don't like the idea of posting with the purpose of attracting attention like that, but with the thread subject, I know these messages are probably going to happen. Post them if they make you feel better, but I
18 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 121729
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121729
Why was is thread bumped? I actually posted before checking the dates, and ended up deleting said posts. Lotsa good advice, though.
>> No. 121737
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121737
>>121729
Random bump season has come upon us once more, m'suppose. But yeah, this is actually a good thread.
>> No. 121738
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121738
>>121729
>>121737
It's spambots. We are being eaten alive by spambots lately.


No. 121676 Autosaged [View]
#Author #Sad #Grimdark

http://d4v3-strid3r.deviantart.com/art/Curse-of-Pinkamena-One-331268220?ga_submit=10%3A1349653468

That's chapter one. Once the second one's up on dA, the first one's description will have a link to it. :3 Enjoy!
8 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 121732
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121732
>>121691
>would you folks consider it worthwhile to help us hammer out where, exactly?
For !!Pinkie mod? Absolutely!
For anypony, really, but... meh.
As Ion said, it's really a case by case basis, and I'll be honest, I'm kind of a fan of that type of fiction, so I only really report anything if I think it's unnecessary or overly gorey. We're all in this together. It heavily depends on the story, but I'll see if I can find a spot to draw the line for you. I'm sure everypony else will do the same, but I don't want to put words in their mouths.
>> No. 124398
File 135227897821.png - (535.87KB , 900x900 , Party Snake.png )
124398
Good enough place for a test, unless I locked it...

Yup, it's here too.
>> No. 131132
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131132
best fanfics i just love the drawigns you all make about me and jeff cna you make us some more?


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114528 No. 114528 [View]
I won't bother explaining much about my fic; precious few of you guys and gals will have read it but sufficed to say it's Luna-centric, and an Adventure story.

Anyhoo, it was started way back in Summer of 2011, way before Luna Eclipsed ever aired. I added a second chapter in December 2011 but it's been on hiatus since then, mostly whilst I wrestle with what to do canon-wise.

Ultimately, I figured myself a way to assimilate the story into canon (which pleased me) but I have a question to throw out there.

Does knowing a story you're reading takes place inside of an MLP Season and, thus, even if it's got twists and turns cannot obviously end in doom, ruin the overall excitement for you?

Since this story isn't a tragedy or a dark fic, it's reasonable most readers will deduce it has a reasonably happy ending. Will it prove to be anti-climactic if that story is placed such that it is obvious it runs prior to "Luna Eclipsed"?

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
1 post omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 114535
Did you read the Lord of The Rings?

Did you then enjoyed the Hobbit?

The trip is the thing we are interested in, make the trip and I'm sure most won't mind the destination.
>> No. 114553
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114553
>>114534

Thanks for the input.

>>114535

Thanks for the reminder; you're absolutely right. I enjoyed The Hobbit almost as much as LOTR. An excellent viewpoint - well met.
>> No. 121667
>>114534

It's not even that the reader has to believe that you might still veer off. Suspension of disbelief also extends to willfully suppressing that voice in the back of your head that says "it's okay, there's a happy ending."

Take for example ANY time there is EVER a child in a horror movie. That child is invincible and everyone who's ever watched a horror movie knows it. Doesn't stop directors from doing it, either because of the one fool in the audience who doesn't know that, or because you'll still get the same reaction from seeing that child in danger even if savvy audience members know that it's going to be okay.

Especially because you say that this isn't a dark or tragic story, to me this would greatly improve the story because you've gone from something fun about Luna to something fun about Luna that supposedly ties into the show.


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113727 No. 113727 [View]
#Discussion #Throw-Aways
You ever spend time writing a scene for a fic, put your heart into it, thought it was really good, but in the end, for one reason or another, just couldn't keep it? Maybe it was a drastically different tone than what had come before it? Maybe it had to be retconed? Maybe it was a conclusion that you decided you didn't want? What ever the reason, are you still proud of that scene? If you are, put it here.

I'm attempting to make a thread with throw-away scenes. These are scenes that your proud of but ultimately can't use. It's merely a place to show off your work.

Rules are simple:
1: Keep it civil.
2: Nothing that shouldn't be on ponychan.

As I said before, this is just a place to show off. Go ahead and post the scene, a little background, and why you can't use it. Maybe some other pony will draw inspiration from it.

Have fun!
23 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 121477
>>121476
Hmm... formatting probably could've come out better on that. Oh well, sorry all!
>> No. 121481
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121481
>>121476
Gotta say i enjoyed that.

On a side note I'm surprised this thread has survived. Thought it would have faded into obscurity.
>> No. 121529
>>121476

That was beautiful.


No. 121430 [View]
#Author #Editor Search

I'm looking for an editor for a story of mine that's under development. I'm looking for someone that has a discerning eye, can notice mistakes fairly well, and can provide ideal ways to improve the story. Do contact me on fimfiction.net should you want details on the story in question. Also, if I'm breaking any rules of the site or board, do inform me ASAP. I'm kind of new to Ponychan and I'm unsure of how things work here. Hoping someone will accept my offer.


~The Wayword Writer


P.S: Should you decide to accept and want details of the fiction, I must warn you. THE IDEA WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.
8 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 121518
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121518
>>121509
And then once you build an empire off stolen ideas, you have to sue everything under the sun that has stolen your idea of Rounded Corners™.
>$$$
>> No. 121520
>>121518
Hey Steve. Happy anniversary!

We wanted to buy you a gift, but we used Apple Maps.
>> No. 121571
>>121436
> does this place have any kind of Email notification system?
> imageboard
That's like asking, "does this cheese grater have a remote control?"


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120931 No. 120931 Autosaged [View]
#Discussion #Shipping #Grimdark

Hey there, everypony!

Though I have several other fanfics in the works, I had an idea that I plan to start as soon as I finish one of my other fics, and I wanted to see what you guys thought of it.

It's basically going to be a sort of clopfic involving Cadance and Shining Armor, though it's mainly about Cadance and it's not going to be 100% clop or anything, more like a big storyline with one or two clop instances thrown in.

The premise is basically that Cadance is a young tyrant who, upon experiencing events that lead to her realizing her talent, becomes love/lust-crazed. She starts believing that every form of love is good for her, and using her powers and some newly developed spells of her's (the Want It Need It spell in particular) to have every stallion obey her wishes - whatever they may be. And any stallion that spurns her affection and tries to break free, she makes them suffer the consequences, such as torturing them and burning them with "Love's Fire" (in other words, burning them at the stake) As her love-crazed desires grow, she becomes especially infatuated and lustful towards Shining Armor, and is determined to make him submit to her lustful desires.
11 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 120970
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120970
>>120966
>> No. 129137
What a wonderful story! One of those happy qukris of life. I wish so much we had a bookstore even close to that here in Central Florida, how lovely that would be.I had just discovered you shortly prior to your move and had no problems with your redirects but I am having problems re-subscribing through Google. Every time I click the follow button I get disconnected. Does anyone know another way to subscribe? If not at some point it will hopefully go through.I wish you great success with both of your recent changes!
>> No. 129138
What a wonderful story! One of those happy qukris of life. I wish so much we had a bookstore even close to that here in Central Florida, how lovely that would be.I had just discovered you shortly prior to your move and had no problems with your redirects but I am having problems re-subscribing through Google. Every time I click the follow button I get disconnected. Does anyone know another way to subscribe? If not at some point it will hopefully go through.I wish you great success with both of your recent changes!


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