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!!PinkiePie
## Mod ##
Thu, Jul 19th, 2012 13:43
No. 112247
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... I'm not sure what to think of it.>So, she quickly soared up to her house, and pulled some money out of her piggy bank. After getting the money, she quickly flew back down to town to see Soarin'. He was outside, a large line waiting to get VIP passes. >Later that day, around the Sunset, Rainbow was ready. She left the house, and flew over to the cloud. Soarin' was waiting there, ready to talk and hang out with Rainbow. She sat down, and he greeted her with a kiss. She giggled, and all night, they chatted, joked, ate food, stared at the stars, and kissed. When the date was finally over, they kissed for a longer time, and said their goodbyes. >And after that, they did dates, and more dates. They were a perfect match. A Rainbow and her Soaring love. I'm sure one of the gentlemen here can explain it better, but here goes. Don't do this. Don't write in summaries of events when you could be writing those events. A full scene is much more interesting than just being told "and then this happened and that happened, moving on". This is, of course, assuming this is a serious attempt at showcasing. If it's not and it probably wasn't , posting it in /oat/ would've been a better idea.