> What's going on in this thread?

Human was a sad man. He would wake every morning at seven o'clock. He would shower every morning at five past seven. He would spend each day writing up figures and reports for tax returns. Tap, tap, tap. Each key depressed ate away at his soul, bit by bit. He would eat dinner every night at six. He ate the same dinner every night, every night at six. He would drink every night, always after six. He would drink and watch the television for the rest of the night, always after six. He would sleep every night at eleven o'clock. He would sleep every night and dream that he woke without showering at five past seven. Then he would wake, and he would shower at five past seven.

>>97984
http://youtu.be/WDwTQ57YyzI
I think you're beaten on this count.

Question answered I assume? Good.

Mind deleting this thread?

Yeah, nothing but some server updates and other computer science-y stuff that I could never imagine fathoming.

>>97955

>I could never imagine fathoming.

I have never facepalmed harder

>>97834
Yes, I know that feature is there. But can you look at "currently popular Adventure fics rated T no longer than 30k words," for example. Not that I know of.

>>97835
With any human-moderated recommendation system, I'd want the ability to choose who I take my recommendations from. What you describe exists - it's called Equestria Daily, and it's perfect if your definition of competency is identical to that of the editorial board.

I'll wait for you to stop laughing, now.

Any recommendation system is going to serve up stories that miss the mark. I think it's best to admit that and provide a technological means for readers to get the bad recommendations out of the way.

I can make my own decisions; the recommendations just have to be good enough I'm not pulling my hair out at the awfulness. (As happens looking at "latest submissions" - especially the FiMF new clop page. Oh gawd...)

>>97842
That is incorrect, each selection is not the one of a group of people but rather a single individual who has to decide if the story is worth one of the limited slots within EqD, which inevitably leads to quite subpar stuff getting on EqD, and by the same token a story which would have made it simply had the bad luck of having that person review their story. There are reasons why there is always panel of judges, and why in the legal system the judge is more of an arbiter rather than the decision maker, and it is because a single person being called to make such a decision will inevitably be terrible at it simply because there is really nothing to restrain them. Of course, we also know that mobs are terrible judges as well, as FiMfiction shows.

In conclusion, all our current methods suck, but for different reasons.

test

>>97175
You want it. You will get it.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17PETD-9XkLBm-G4JRSD54v-tAJ1KapMbn0wCbeKieJ8/edit

That version is commentable as far as I know. It is 12:37, past my bedtime, and I see this, so I apologize if I seem short. But if you're still seeing errors, then I invite you to point them out to me because obviously I am as blind as a bat.

I'm going to read this again in the morning and regret it, I'm sure.

>>97669
To be frank, your story isn't enticing enough for me to read twice. Make a doc with commenting for the next chapter and we'll see. However, Ezn seems to have done a much better job than I could have anyways, so you're in luck.

>>97680
Aww, but he made a copy just for you (and Ezn).

>>97616

Writing just for yourself isn't the best way to garner attention, no, but it is the best way to learn. There's nothing inherently wrong with compromising your vision in favor of something that'll be more appealing to readers, but it should always be a compromise, not total capitulation.

We can't all write the next Fallout: Equestria. We could all write the next Conversion Bureau, but then we would all be shitty writers.

Giving a new writer advice on how to get noticed is ass fucking backwards. New writers should want to write better things, not more popular things.

Try looking at real published books - look at how they do it. Then try to do it like that, but put your own style into it.

On writing for yourself:
In an earlier post, I said this:
"Write for yourself as a reader. Write stories you would like to read if you hadn't written them. Avoid laziness and overindulgence in your whims."

So yes, there is a balance, but at the end of it, you should still be writing for yourself. Most of your ideas probably won't be bizarre enough for others to not get them at all, and if you're writing them in a way that's incomprehensible to anyone but you (and intend to show it to others), then yeah, you're doing something wrong. Considering how others will react to your work starts with you thinking about how you would react to it in their position. So that's why you need to avoid self-insert wish fulfillment, any kind of over-the-top, benefit-less self-indulgence (like being overly pretentious for no good reason) and laziness at any point of the writing process. If you're writing just to write, you might not proofread, or you might skip/rush/gloss over important scenes and details. If you're writing with an eye to how your work will be read, you'll avoid a lot of that.

When you're writing My Little Pony fanfiction on the internet, the most important thing you can do is make sure you have a good time doing it, and that comes from writing about things you care about and ideas that interest you. I wouldn't waste my time rehashing the flavour of the day just for views, because that would be a really dull use of my free time, and how important are views anyway? Certainly not something that matters enough for me to spend precious leisure time slaving over anything my heart isn't in.

That said, I think there's a growing misconception about the gap between what you like and what your audience likes. It's really not so wide that you have to sell out and write something boring and soulless to get any attention, and most of you are not weird enough that a story you care about will appeal to no-one but you. Writing for yourself and getting attention for it doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing tradeoff, and indeed, being the next big writer with work you're passionate about is a much bett…

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>>97592
OP here, can we lock this thread? It seems that everything that needs to be said has been said, and the rest is just shouting.

>>97590
>Ah, I don't even know what we're discussing any more. I think you're right.
No. Seriously. Fuck this guy. /fic/ is more than just reviewers and reviewing.

He even snarked about your collab for no good reason.

Gee, okay, you god dam buzzkill, let's all just be fucking librarians and do nothing but review all day. Fuck trying anything new.

Yeah, shit flops all the time. Does that mean we should never try new things? Fail once, try harder. Fail twice, try twice as hard.

I thought this was the image that everyone was trying to remove from /fic/.

>>97594

Fair enough.

>>97115

One other problem with part 1: What was the thing with the enlightenment/religion? That seemed out of place, seeing as how they're in the 1860's--the enlightenment was in the late 1700's.
I don't know. That bit just didn't seem clear to me.

>>97035
Thanks. I similarly don't really have any great feelings for either Final Fantasy or Mass Effect (having no familiarity with them), so most of your analogies were lost on me. The important and significant criticisms, however, weren't.

>>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD >>97121 NEW THREAD …

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>>93676

First off, thank you so much for going through my work. I'm sorry for not getting back to you sooner, but I've been away from a reliable net connection pretty much since you posted this :/.

Secondly...and I apologise for not posting this sooner, but the story is in the middle of some fairly extensive re-writing. Basically, my beta-reader got into contact with the pre-reader who first took a look at it. From what they both have said, the 'dryness' mentioned refers to a lack of personality to the writing. They also mentioned that the 'telling' aspect was that the story was told in a sequence of actions and nothing more, particularly being told with rather bland words.

Thus, I've re-written it more from an 'Apple Bloom-perspective, if that makes sense. Like so:

"No matter how many times she stayed over at Scootaloo’s, it still took a moment for Apple Bloom’s eyes to adjust. The walls around her burned a brighter orange than any fire. She and Sweetie Belle had actually lost track of Scootaloo in here a couple of times after their try at being Cutie Mark Crusaders Barbers. The only break from all the orange was a little, mouth-drawn picture of Rainbow Dash surrounded by all the colours of her mane, which sat proudly above the headboard."

As opposed to:
…

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>>95267
>"(and it does)"

>Again, as I've told quite a few others, you're judging the story from your point of view.
I'm judging the story by my own ability of reading and plot analysis. I'm saying there were certain problems that I found while reading it.

If I'm judging it by my Equestria Daily Prereader eye, there are still problems with content.

Don't knock negative feedback so willingly. It's how you learn as an author.

>You're encouraging the decision to tell the author to write more? Either your standards for fiction are really high or you're just another anti-reviewer.
I'm encouraging the decision to tell you to write as much as needs to be to make your story fit the My Little Pony universe. If you're so hell-bent on your story being "good" without a need to fit into the MLP universe, then why not take it to a fiction publishing magazine?…

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Tags: [Grimdark]

Synopsis: Twilight Sparkle is alone. Three months ago, everypony vanished. Now, everyday is a struggle to stay sane. She tries desperately to discover what happened to the other ponies, but time is running out, and there's something else out there.

Links:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FH8oRO1BKiKO6Apg5bCwHoPYuVarYA4jF-avE6dBv3k/edit

Comments:
The pre-readers at EqD said it suffered from minor grammar errors and simple writing.

>>96853
Well, I SHOULD be off around 4:30-5:00, but it may be later. Basic Combat Training schedules changes minute to minute. Don't wait up. :)

Hey! I got off work, so I'll be there.

I sort of posted this here once some time ago, but the queue was too long and then I went and edited it a bit more... anyways.

TROPICAL SORROWS by Microshazm

Tags: Adventure, Comedy, PoE (The Conversion Bureau, though loosely)

Synopsis: In the Papuan Highlands lurks an unforeseen force, never inspected by ponies or humans alike. A scientist goes missing, and Celestia sends the Elements of Harmony to find her, but first they need a pilot -- one who's been there before. Follow Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash, as they face the jungle with its bizarre dangers, wacky peoples, multiple languages, tropical diseases, and incredible secrets; not knowing if the Elements are still with them after almost ten years of living in the human world.

The two chapters total 4500 words.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/16131/Tropical-Sorrows
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XaY4fngQDafkfhXkdcPF3R8ZWSJ55i21ijmx1z3YpC0/edit <--- comments enabled

There once was a colt from Neightucket
With a javelin so long he could chuck it
He threw it high
It fell in his eye
And a voice from the clouds cried "suck it!"

>>96737
Whole seasons are spent
Mastering the style and form
None call it easy

>:(

>>96773
They're easy to make (despite my terrible attempt at it. I seem to have lost my ability to gauge syllables over the years). I never said they're easy to do well.

>>96306
>>96334

What I was getting at is that a flaw is useless unless it is exploited during the plot. If it's not going to cause conflict or hinder plot advancement, then it's not a flaw at all, it's just an implied attribute, and a desperate and somewhat lazy attempt to salvage a character from the Stu pile.

This is what I'm referring to as a Dump Stat. In DnD, a player will dump his low rolls into an attribute that his character class never uses. If a Fighter uses charisma and wisdom as dump stats, you can't really call that a flaw because Fighters rarely, if ever, use any wisdom or charisma based abilities.

I've seen many try to give a similarly inane 'flaws' to a character to attempt to fool the audience into believing that it's not a Stu. The 'flaw' may get mentioned once or twice, usually with all the tact of jumping up and down, jabbing a finger at the paragraph and screaming "LOOK LOOK, A FLAW! LOOK HOW WELL ROUNDED HE IS!" Meanwhile, the alleged flaw does absolutely nothing to hinder the character from progressing the plot.

The point is that someone can rave about how flawed their character is until their blue in the face, it's not going to be worth a damn unless it causes plot relevant conflict.

>>96248
>I sometimes think it would actually be refreshing to see a Mary Sue instead of a Marty Stu.

Since most of the characters in the show are female, being male makes the OC more "special and unique" than he otherwise would be. Going further, the gender ratios among canon characters have skewed most shipping into girl-on-girl waters, making a character capable of heterosexual romance even more unusual, and therefor 'desirable'.

The drive to be as cool and different as possible just makes it more likely that the jet-black alicorn with the red tiger stripes who's looking to crawl up Rainbow Dash's flank is a dude.

Thanks guys. Keep the info coming. And for the record, I already have the story mostly laid out. I just need to start fleshing out the plot from my notes.

I'm not building the story around him, I just thought up a plot, figured out what kind of job I wanted for my OC, and gave him some traits and backstory.

Yeah I'm gonna change him. A lot probably. He stays a unicorn because it fits the archetype of unicorns being more brains than brawn. That, and it gives him the ability to actually use guns. This'll be a warfic, but not a gorefic.

Thank you for pointing out that he needs flaws though. Taking care of all this.

>>98707
>>99772

Psst... sorry you two, but my thread has been autosaged for awhile now. I've switched to private 'by e-mail only' reviews for the time being. List of authors who I'm accepting stories from a dozen or so posts above.

>>99859
crap... somebody needs to change that on list of review threads. this is the second time this has happened to me

I know you don't really want anyone to post in here, but I felt I needed to say this.

I'm back, and this time, I'm not going to let anything get in the path of Earthside!

>>96437
Saved.

>>OP
I guess if you're going to have a pony protagonist at least make her act like a pony? If you don't, you may as well make her a four-legged alien or sentient horse and not involve MLP at all.

My general rule for these sorts of things is that if you're not going to use some source material to the point where your story would be significantly weakened without it, don't call your work "fanfiction of [that thing]". And that's not to say you can't write about OCs or grimdark and have it be MLP, just that poni must poni poni.

>>96437
There sure are differences, physical, psychological, cultural. But still, the thing is, excluding physical things, it's too easy to imagine a human on the place of my protagonist. I mean, as I see it, even canon ponies by their way of thinking and behaving, can easily be imagining like humans. That's like, the point. And the things you are mention are quite minor, in a way that you can imagine such humans, if placed in same conditions. So, for me, the only thing that makes a difference between a canon pony' mind and a average human' one... Simply, it's being nice. But, my protagonist, being an insane OC pony in a grimdark story, just can't be that nice. So, yeah, myself I can't justify her being a pony and not a human, aside from some minor things and my whim. Sure, I felt that way about some other progonists of grimdark stories, but since they were either in a mlp world, or other, but ponified world aka crossover, that wtill could count as mlp fanfic. And in the end, you didn't answer yourself, would it be a concern for you - "not pony enough"
>>96462
Yeah, thats the point. As I said, I don't really know to 'make her act like a pony' in that situation. So, yeah, maybe I could use random alien. But as I said, it's a tribute of a sort.

And anyway, I gonna use quite a lot of things from mlp universe, including the world itself, too, and way more than once. There are a lot of things mentioned in the mlp universe that create adventure ideas related to them. But it's just that, I was planning for it to be just a part of many other things i'd use, with the other things being not pony related at all.

Oh, and btw, I asked quite a lot ppl lately. And yes, most of non-bronies said that they will not read a story if its about ponies, even if they would be told thats a good story and not really mlp-related.
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^ I'm sorry for all the mistakes here, 4 am and I'm sleepy. I hope you ll still undestand what I was planning to say.

Hey, Trots- I see you've been busy so I'll just get down to the point. I know your queue is closed, but in no way am I even planning to submit another story- or Pinkie again. Actually, I just want to bring up the sheer disappointment I felt, and the oddest response I have ever gotten out of EqD... ~ I don't want to consume a vast amount of your time, I just need some extra opinion. You can respond back here- but I'd prefer it if you would get me at my email address [email protected]; I'd prefer NOT to drag this into your thread, since you've been able to help pretty much everypony else, and even I didn't anticipate the kind of response I received. I understand if you refuse this, or even if you have to put it off a month while you deal with life. If anything I want to try to understand where I went wrong, because I'm just downright....confused like Rainbow Dash during a yugioh abridged episode.

>>95424>>96745

Requesting you remove remove Family and Friends from your queue. I've found someone else to review it.

>>95247
I'd like to request a removal of "The Return of Smarty Pants" from your queue s'il vous plait. :)

>>96558
Other than me telling the OP about how poor his writing skills are.

>>96591
I feel relieved that this isn't another Nigel gif.

>>96628
Nigel, you say?