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Mar 31With the Merger coming up soon, we have created an official steam group for the combined sites. It can be found at http://steamcommunity.com/groups/PonychanSteam

File 133005208259.jpg - (130.02KB , 859x929 , Granny Smith by apotropaic-puppet_at_deviantart.jpg )
86617 No. 86617 [View]
#Single fic #Shipping
Romantic one-shot, Mayor Mare x Granny Smith. Reposting this with proper spacing and more convenient googledoc format.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Q3Q_N1K_Fsh4DJTVxI8HNG7yaFsny50ZYER_v4UdmnA/edit?pli=1
7 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 96495
>>96494
At 1.7k words, it's about 800 shy of meeting their minimum length for a oneshot.
>> No. 96496
>>96495
They might make an exception, and you could also bundle it with another short story to be put into a single blog post.
>> No. 96530
File 133416539271.gif - (1.82MB , 680x466 , Fluttershy Holds Cute.gif )
96530
Aw shucks Ion Sturm, I don't want anypony tryin' ter make an exception for little old me. Ahm jus' happy to get my fic posted up somewhere that ponies will read it. ^_^


File 132441135377.jpg - (82.25KB , 399x500 , Normal chowder.jpg )
72957 No. 72957 [View] [Last 50 posts]
Are you a new author pinning to have their work spread throughout the internets? That’s all well and good, but you’ll need a few things to get started.

First! You’ll need PLOT. (No bronies, not that kind of plot. Unless you want it to be! In that case, I’ll have to ask you to leave.)

Secondly! You’ll need FLOW. What is a story if the reader can’t understand the flow of ideas from one sentence to the next? I’ll tell you what it is, it’s a pile of mashed up sentences topped with piping hot… well, you get the idea.

to help out first time authors. I will never intend for my thread to be a hurtbox, but neither will I cuddle you. You want help, and I'm going to give it to you. So please, if you can't take constructive criticism, the metaphorical door should be to the top right of your screen. Or Ctrl-F4, whatever does it for ya.

What I hope to review for you, the author, are the concepts/plot behind your story, along with some simple grammar issues. There is one thing the author must understand before submitting their work in to me. I may, or may not, have your review out as quickly as you or I, would like. (Hopefully, no more than a few days.) Otherwise, I will try my best to process your story in a timely fashion, and give you a great big steaming pile of review when I'm finished.

What qualifies me to review? Those who can do, do. Those who can’t, teach. That's all ah have tah say 'bout that.
232 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 91936
>>91896
I forgot to mention this is a from the ground up rewrite of 'The Memoirs of a Reality Jumper'. It starts with different assumptions and will go in different directions. It was my first fanfic and it shows. This one is the same concept, but done better (I think).
>> No. 96041
Title 1. Dark Times (working title)
Tags 2. [Dark] [Adventure] [HiE] [Crossover]
Synopsis 3. It is a period of darkness. It has been seven years since the end of the Clone Wars and the beginning of the Empire.
Echos of the past still remain, as Imperial ships routinely find Separatist hold outs and weapons.
At the edge of the known space, near the Bakura system, the Star Destroyer Stalwart, discovers an abandoned Separatist vessel drifting in the void...
Link 4. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mKVcHiBHU2Nx0uL25qdSwjL_cOYFRP8BaGX_BeoUX2I/edit
Comments: This is my first fic. Also I hope you like star wars, if not http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page
this site will help with any terms or things you don't know.
>> No. 96506
Just out of curiousity, are you on vacation, taking a break or just can't find time for the reviews? I don't want to push you or something, but it would be nice if you could give me an answere, so that I know how long I might have to wait for my review (since I'm waiting for 2 months now and you said, that you wanted to empty the current queue till March 11th, which was also a month ago >>87630)
As I said, I don't want to push you (if I have to I will wait for another 4 months) but it would be nice to see a lifesign from you. ^^"


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96477 No. 96477 [View]
#Author #Normal #Comedy
This Is my first time using ponychan and given it's BOUT 12 midnight here(ugh, canterlock) i'll figure out how to use this properly later. I''m looking for prereaders and maybe editors.

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/StarSorio is my site

I could use people to help point out my weak points. Oh, and people to help me how to properly use this site would be good too, though i bet i could learn it in 10 secs flat if i bothered(but i've been wrong before)
Lazy post is lazy
3 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 96484
File 133412138596.png - (330.39KB , 589x575 )
96484
>>96478
>>96482

Dang it, you guys move faster than me. I'm going to have to keep a tab open for /fic/ instead of coming through here a few times a day, aren't I?

Anyways, what these two gentlemen said. I'll leave the thread open for a response, OP.
>> No. 96486
>>96484
But timed for deletion, right?
>> No. 96504
File 133413948596.png - (595.03KB , 512x921 )
96504
>>96486

Got it on my watch list. As soon as I can get a response from him, I'll handle that.


File 133390787837.jpg - (32.00KB , 475x599 , ponyA.jpg )
95970 No. 95970 [View]
So, I've seen some fics in which the author uses "anatomically correct" terms when talking about parts of a pony's body--for example, "Withers" or "Forelegs."

I, personally, prefer using the appropriate human terms--"Shoulders" and "Arms." I find the latter easier to read and write.

What do you guys prefer--"Arms" or "Forelegs?"
3 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 96258
>>96029
http://www1.agric.gov.ab.ca/$department/deptdocs.nsf/all/4h7933/$file/g_partsofhorse.pdf

"Forearm" is the segment of the foreleg between elbow and knee.

And if you want a really good look at wings, look at clipping. (Doing this to a pegasus is rather grimdark in my opinion.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsOfcbOx724
>> No. 96277
>>95982
Yeah, one think that has always annoyed me about using flank is that I can never use it to mean "side" in pony fiction.

>"The diamond dog approached from her flank."
The connotation changes the whole meaning of the sentence, and I have a bad habit of using flank in it's original meaning.
>> No. 96325
I'm somewhere in between. I use pony terminology but I keep it very simple-- I won't say any horse-specific words like "fetlock" or "withers" or "haunch."


File 133316933517.jpg - (44.79KB , 240x296 , twilight_sparkle__read_by_skylark_torch-d3idisf.jpg )
94131 No. 94131 Locked [View]
#Reviewer #Normal #Crossover #Random #Sad #Comedy #Sci-fi #Shipping #Grimdark
Greetings, my little ponies!

This thread exists for one purpose, and one purpose alone: proofreading. I will read through your fics and note spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, clumsy sentence structures and the like. This shouldn't be thought of as a normal review thread, in that there will be no editorializing, no criticizing your concept, and no name-calling. If I really like your story however, I will say so.

Now then, brass tacks:
1. Submission posts: just include the name of your story, tags, and a link or links.
2. Google Docs: the nature of the service I'm offering makes stories submitted as Google Docs with comments turned on by far the easiest for me to work with. If you really can't find it in your heart to copy and paste your FiMFiction story into a Google Doc, there is a good chance I will skip it or proofread other stories first.
3. Make some effort: I don't mind if there are a lot of mistakes; such is the nature of what I'm offering. Still, if your story is comically or troll-tastically bad in terms of its grammar and spelling I will skip it.
4. My word is not gospel: I'll do my best to intuit when misspellings in dialogue are intentional, but I will err on the side of assuming a mistake is accidental. This applies to a lesser extend outside of dialogue as well, such as when beginning sentences with "and" or "but". Also I will make mistakes (like I've done in this sentence).
5. No excessive gore, and no clop of any kind: I've got a decently high threshold for this requirement, but if I'm grossed/freaked out by what I'm reading I will simply stop.
6. American or British English: Consistency is key. Australians and Canadians:
46 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 96262
Ok, upon removing my head from my backside and reading the sticky (hur dur) here is my request for a grammar review. Google docs this time, too. :)

Title: Bloodline Chapter One: Under A Luminous Sky
Tags: dark, human
Synopsis: Albert Pomeroy is a psychopath who has been terrorizing Houston for the past two years. Now, he finds his was into Equestria and decides to share his "work" with a world that has not known violence like that in centuries. Hot on his heels is Detective Robert Barlow, who is determined to stop this psychopath no matter what the cost. As the authorities refuse to believe that anything is amiss, it's up to The Mane Six and Barlow to stop Pomeroy. But not everything is as it seems...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fjlnV3sAAi5v6WN9bOXK8KFHq6KASGhraltiCQVp89g/edit?overridemobile=true

Sorry for not following protocol before. I hear your the best at grammar nazi-ing, and the boys at EqD said I needed it.
>> No. 96281
v 2.0:
>>96269
>> No. 96315
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96315
Thread lock due to abandonment.


No. 93067 [View]
#Single fic #Grimdark #Thriller
Ok, holy crap. Nervous as hell, but I figured it's time. I've finished my first chapter, and I've posted it to FIMFiction. I've been pre-read, so it's time to get a mass consensus. The few who have read it there liked it, so let's dive in. My goal is to get this to EqD, but I'm going to wait until the next two chapters are edited, pre-read and posted before I submit. SO! Here we go!
Title: Bloodline
Tags: Dark, Human, Thriller
Synopsis: Albert Pomeroy, a violent serial killer, has been terrorizing Houston for the past two years. Now, he finds his was into Equestria and decides to share his "work" with a world that has not known violence like that in centuries. Hot on his heels is Detective Robert Barlow, who is determined to stop this psychopath no matter what the cost. As the authorities refuse to believe that anything is amiss, it's up to The Mane Six and Barlow to stop Pomeroy. But not everything is as it seems...

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/17190/Bloodline

I'd be honored if y'all, my fellow bronies, could read and tell me what you think. Any advice is welcome, but this is my first piece of fiction ever, so please be honest, but don't brutalize me. :)
16 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 93892
OK! Chapter Two is up! Let me know what you think, everypony!!
>> No. 95770
Okay, everypony! I got rejected by EqD. Sad JAke is sad...

But anywho, here's what they said:
the only real complaints I have about this are a bit too much telling and overuse of adverbs. The story also drags quite a bit with the ritual to let the killer into Equestria, and if you're worried about gore turning your readers off (as you seem to be), it might be better to eliminate his perspective altogether and just have the story focus on the ponies and the detective trying to track him down. After all, detective fiction loses its charm when we know all of what's going on: that's why Sherlock Holmes novels are told from the perspective of Dr. Watson, not Holmes himself. If Holmes told the story, we'd know everything. Similarly, I fear you may be tipping your hand too much by going into the killer's perspective, much as I enjoyed how it was used to set up the second chapter's ending.

Now, I'm not trying to make this a murder mystery, as the direction the story will go don't work with that idea. Eventually, we will learn why Pomeroy kills, and it's important that we know him well before that. Other than that, any ideas about... well, their ideas?
>> No. 96245
All right everypony, I've finished overhauling chapter one. I think this flows much better, and it let's me get to the meat and potatoes of the story much quicker. PLEASE take a gander and let me know what you think!

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/17190/1/Bloodline/Under-A-Luminous-Sky


File 133398839354.png - (824.54KB , 737x562 , Capture.png )
96108 No. 96108 [View]
Pic only tangentially related.

I'm kinda working on a fic, set approximately ten years in the future. Newlywed Twilight realizes she's pregnant, and decides to have a reunion with all her old friends (who she hasn't seen/spent time with for several years).

While discussing the plot in the EqD chatrooms, one person said that a very similar concept has been used before. After some quick searching, the only such fic I was able to find was "Windfall."

Does anyone know of any other "ten years later"-style fics? I'm not looking for feedback on the idea (not in this thread, anyways), I just want to see if other people have covered the same ground already.
1 post omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 96113
File 133399002949.jpg - (59.50KB , 700x520 , KEnLe.jpg )
96113
>>96112
Eeyup. Fairly common trope.

Again, seems more suited to the Story Forge, especially since it concerns the OP writing his own story on the premise.
>> No. 96114
My Little Dashie
Circle of Friends
Yours Truly
Bubbles
Today, Tomorrow, and Forever
End of Ponies
Fallout: Equestria
Nightfall at Sweet Apple Acres
Simply Rarity
The Centerpiece of My Collection
Three Notes
Transcendence
>> No. 96159
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96159
Friendship is Tragic jumps to mind immediately for me.

It hits all the points you want, screws up everything, came out almost a year ago, and does so in a fairly 'satisfying' fashion. http://www.ponyfictionarchive.net/viewstory.php?sid=35 FYI

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TimeSkip
You know. In case you want to see what sort of things people expect you to do.
Personally, I dock you 10 points if I see the words: "Rainbow Dash", "Wonderbolts", or "Captain" in a sentence. It is a fairly common Fanfic Trope.

School Reunion by Blueshift does a wonderful one with Applebloom and company. Technically so does Rainbow Factory, in it's own way.

http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=category&search=reunion Might help too.


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95673 No. 95673 [View]
#Discussion
...and it's getting loads of hype at Fimfiction.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/19198/Background-Pony

Is this the next Simply Rarity/JSF/Old Stories (a one-shot that becomes a classic of the fandom), or is this the next MLD (great reception at first, but ultimately turns out to be a bust)?
23 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 96001
>>95789
Ya, like my spitfire X Twilight shipfic (No name or link because im not a fichors). Apparantly it was very interesting because it only took them two hours to get back to me.
>> No. 96017
>>95852
Thing is it doesn't brow-beat you with the SAAAAAD. Sure, you're very open to get hit with the bleaker side of the scenario, but it's just giving you the scenario and letting you feel the way *you* do about it, rather than trying to make you feel a certain way.
>> No. 96018
>>96017

I'd agree with that.

In fact, I'd say that's what makes this story so great - the scenario is presented in such a way that there are so many emotions you can feel about it. You can think it's bittersweet, sad, hopeful, some might even find it cool...that's why the story is getting such press.


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90668 No. 90668 [View]
So tell me, /fic/,

What's the weirdest fanfiction you've ever read?
What's the best/worst you've ever read?
When did you get into fanfiction?
60 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 95931
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95931
Pattycakes.
Pattycakes/Family Pony I wish I wasn't serious.
'Round August.
>> No. 95937
>>95931
So the best you have read is... Pattycakes.

Well, that was unexpected. Like, "well, shit" unexpected.

1.) Animal husbandry.

2.)Fallout Equestria/Believing is magic.

3.)My brother wrote a mario fanfiction. It was the beginning of a long period of bickering about bad stories.
>> No. 95941
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95941
>>95937
Is it bad that I laughed hard throughout the entire fic, like I had no other? It also creeped me out, which was a relieving sign that my humanity is still intact.


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85249 No. 85249 Locked [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Reviewer
Fillies and gentlecolts, here we are

After having some stories reviewed, I realized that the delay between post and reception of critique can become quite lengthy. Of course, this isn't the fault of the reviewers; they're generous people who donate their time and effort to help us all.

Nevertheless, I began this thread to help lighten the load. While I would never dream of comparing myself to the truly great review ponies such as Samurai Anon and Vanner, I've been writing for quite some time now, and I've picked things up along the way. Things that I hope to use to help all aspiring authors.

Because we're Ponychan and we love rules, let's lay down a few.

Rules:

1) Please be polite and courteous at all times. Even though this is a review thread, and my responses may be harsh from time to time (as is necessary for an author to improve), I expect everyone I interact with in this thread and throughout my work to remain respectful to myself and other authors. As the saying goes, “Bronies gonna love and tolerate.” Please keep it that way.
104 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 95894
NOTICE: NEW THREAD ALERT. If you posted in this thread and still want a review, read immediately.

Hey guys,

Alright, I probably deserve this considering how I badly I let this thread go. Sure, I had excuses and whatnot, but I still feel bad for the state it's in.

My initial thought was to just adjust my queue method temporarily and work through the backlog (that was like...an hour ago. What're you gonna do?). However, I can see now that's not enough. Drastic...er measures must be taken.

In order to establish a new queue as well as find out what stories in here still actually need reviews (since a number of you said you'd like to be removed from the queue, and I don't want to do unnecessary reviews), I'm starting a new thread.

For those of you who have been waiting a month or more, I'm sorry, I know this sucks and it's all my fault. However, considering the state my thread is in, I see no other way of getting it back on track. If you'd still like a review, come on over to my new thread and post away. From now on, queue method will be strictly end to end (no adjustments due to length). I'll try to improve this process and make it less painful for all of us next time around.
>> No. 95895
>>95894

To elaborate, should you still want a review, make your post in the new thread. I figured that should go without saying, but I want there to be no confusion.
>> No. 95911
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95911
>>95895
thank you, Umbra.


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95889 No. 95889 Locked [View]
#Single fic #request
does anyone know of any good human & derpy 2nd person romance fics?

I'd prefer NOT sexual, but whatever you have is fine, thanks!
>> No. 95907
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95907
No.
>> No. 95913
File 133386799113.png - (90.69KB , 400x285 , you get muffins.png )
95913
I'd suggest going to the Request General at >>88527, but I think the Sensual Fiction General at >>82686 is more likely to have whatever you're looking for. /fic/ doesn't really do request threads outside of generals.

Sexual fics aren't allowed on Ponychan as per Ponychan rules. If you want those, you can visit FiMChan.

Welcome to /fic/. Have a muffin.
>> No. 96038
File 133393182351.jpg - (452.21KB , 1000x1000 )
96038
>>95913

This. Thank you, Anon.


My apologies, OP, but please head to >>82686 and make your request there.


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92343 No. 92343 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Discussion
Hello again, fillies and gentlecolts, and welcome to the seventh installment of the “Ask An Equestria Daily Pre-Reader Anything Thread”! Feel free to ask us anything* and we’ll do our best to answer.

*Disclaimer: Our knowledge of quantum physics is limited, so please try to keep questions on that subject to a minimum. Also magnets are kinda hard.

I’d also like to include a brief FAQ in this initial post, since we seem to hear a lot of the same questions:

Q: How long does the pre-reading process take?
A: A few days to get from Seth to us, a bit more than a week to review depending on how busy we are, then a day or two for the review to get back to the author.

Q: It’s been [Unit of time] and I still haven’t received any response. What’s up?
A: Ensure that you’re sending your story to the correct address ([email protected]). Ensure that you’re using the proper submission format, as detailed on the “Submit” page of Equestria Daily. Read over your description - stories with over five errors in the description tend to be rejected immediately. If you’re sure you’ve done all of the above and still haven’t received a response, send another email in the same thread asking about the status of your story.
406 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 95934
File 133388843555.jpg - (4.50KB , 232x172 , Lockpick.jpg )
95934
>>95930

Mmm... sorry, can't help much.

Here, have some cake. You'll find it most delicious, just be careful. I'm not the best of cooks and... things tend to fall in.
>> No. 95936
>>95867
Think nothing of it. Good luck with the story.
>> No. 95946
New thread!
>>95945


File 133382191473.jpg - (230.64KB , 1024x730 , 1994.jpg )
95725 No. 95725 [View]
#Single fic #Normal #Musical #1k Years Past
Symphony of the Dawn

Author: McWeaksauce

Additional Tags: Past 6 (Smart Cookie, Chancellor Puddinghead, Private Pansy, Commander Hurricane, Clever Clover, Princess Platinum), Starswirl the Bearded, Discord, Celestia, Luna

Synopsis: A new beginning, a new life. These were the thoughts that everypony brought to Equestria. For three years since founding, the pegasi, unicorns and earth ponies have had a rough time adjusting to one another. Old ways still hold true, with unicorns raising the sun and moon, pegasi stewarding the weather, and earth ponies planting. Life has been rough, everypony keeping a stiff upper lip and showing their resilience.

A prophecy divined from the unicorns threatens the society created, seen by Starswirl's time manipulation spells. Upheaval will be imminent. The Unicorn King has passed on. Platinum has the solution to take hold of this unruly time; use the Cosmic Council to create a proper King to solidify her rule. They create an all-powerful draconequus from Starswirl's library of the arcane. The new order is upon the Founders of Equestria in this musical story.

This work is inspired by other musicals, such as "Age of Rock", "Phantom of the Opera", Disney, The Forrest Gump soundtrack, and the ponyfied songs of the Brony community. Symphony of the Dawn has classical ponyfied songs from the 1960s-1980s to enhance expression of the events that unfold around everypony.


File 133359490877.png - (141.55KB , 1024x640 , i__ll_destroy_her_by_pdpie-d4v3tym.png )
95191 No. 95191 [View]
#Discussion
Lately there has been a noticeable growth in interest for Human fics whether Ponies on Earth or Humans in Equestria.

What do people see in reading these? Many of the ones that I've read on the popular list on fimfiction lack any sort of overlying plot or real theme to the story other than a very weak 'Dances with Wolves' or 'Pocahontas' vibes, that could just as easily be executed using the different races provided by the show, to a much stronger effect from a storytelling perspective.

The main reason human fics have weak writing, is that they all share a natural tie to a cheap style of storytelling used by James Cameron's 'Avatar' and 'Twilight' in which a character is made very bland with next to no character so that the reader may project themselves onto them. The one Human in Equestria story I read from with any real character to the human, was about a character who suffered heavily from sue-dom and moon logic in his thought process, as well as being very socially awkward and making inside jokes no one but him got.

Stories such as 'Ballad of Echo, the Diamond Dog' could just as easily be about a diamond dog trying to find his place amongst ponies, without the tangential, unexplained fact that he was once a human. Very few human crossovers take the time to explain how the crossover happens in the first place. Instead, they commonly just leave it as a gaping unexplained mystery that you just have to accept, which again, from a storytelling perspective, is bad. The second thing most of these fics lack, is any real reason for the events in them to occur other than wishful writing.

So if you're thinking about writing a human crossover, please reconsider, or at least fully think out your plot devices.
37 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 95647
>>95618

I realize that a lot of people like sci-fi fics in this fandom, so I'll respect that. Personally, I don't like the blend of hard science fiction and lighthearted magic from the show.

My Little Pony takes place in the kind of world where humans really could just end up there "because magic" without any need for a complicated explanation.

I suppose that you could at least explain that somepony used a spell to do it... But that gets to be a cliche. Especially if Twilight cast the spell as a mistake. That happens way too often and she's not that incompetent.
>> No. 95661
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95661
>>95618
It's skepticism. "Do you really expect me to believe this?" or "Do you expect me to simply accept this?" is the bane of fantasy, and HiE definitely falls under that category. Then again, so does MLP, so it's a fantasy within a fantasy. BWAHHHH Rising up to meet the challenge is an option for writers, and handling it well, I feel, pays off tremendously. It's worth the effort if one can pull it off is what I'm trying to say.
>> No. 95719
>>95647
I like explaining the magic with hard science, or at least joining one with the other. Think Full Metal Alchemist: There's an entire science based around the transmutation of objects and even living beings, but it mostly examines how to make it work, not why it works in the first place.


No. 95597 Locked [View]
#Reviewer
Apparently there's about 5 errors in this and
I'm having difficulty identifying the errors.
Please help.

A young Colt named Valiant who goes through
PonyVille Primary and into college confronts so many problems
in life that he eventually faces depression.
Ever since he first had depression he has remained
silent at school and the outside world.
Everyday, he gradually builds a wall around himself
from reality and blocks himself into his world of
depression and silence.
>> No. 95599
File 133375941707.jpg - (29.88KB , 302x283 , 133280986995.jpg )
95599
Is this supposed to be a poem or something?
Egads, too many newfoals today. Anyways, read the sticky. Thread reported.
>> No. 95637
File 133376803391.png - (139.01KB , 900x790 )
95637
In the future, please read the /fic/ sticky.

A synopsis review thread exists, and you are more likely to receive help there than you would be by making your own thread about this.

>>70737

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