Discuss fanfiction, get writing advice, or get your story reviewed

Search /fic/ threads

Name  
Email  
Subject  
Message  
Tags
File     
Password  (for post and file deletion)

Mar 31With the Merger coming up soon, we have created an official steam group for the combined sites. It can be found at http://steamcommunity.com/groups/PonychanSteam

No. 95511 [View]
#Author #Collection #Normal
[Normal]

A new beginning, a new life. These were the thoughts that everypony brought to Equestria. For three years since founding, the pegasi, unicorns and earth ponies have had a rough time adjusting to one another. Old ways still hold true, with unicorns raising the sun and moon, pegasi stewarding the weather, and earth ponies planting. Life has been rough, everypony keeping a stiff upper lip and showing their resilience.

A prophecy divined from the unicorns threatens the society created, divined by Starswirl's time manipulation spells. Upheaval will be
imminent. The Unicorn King has passed on. Platinum has the solution to take hold of this unruly time; use the Cosmic Council to create a proper husband to solidify her rule They create an all-powerful draconequus from Starswirl's library of the arcane. The new order is upon the Founders of Equestria in this musical story.

Link - Chapter 1 -https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K5KZvSpHnV9wHUnnDgLwqHmrEJE6MUAu22QZcQk-nKM/edit

Submitted to EqD - review at the end of my notes, as well as my responses https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s8FgdPtWWmGkr7DOisrTqG8yqFqQcelSGLKaQtWPYfY/edit
1 post omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 95524
Take out the godawful bastardization of Don McClean's American Pie... and Bob Dylan's The Times, They Are A-Changin'.

Other than that, the accent is still borderline incomprehensible, you didn't even fix the capitalization error that Prereader 1/0 pointed out, and as for "repetition," you do it with names as well.

Did you address Prereader 1/0's critiques, or did you just explain how you're right and therefore don't need to change anything?
>> No. 95540
I'm rewriting to fit his critiques, as recommended by Prereader 1/0. Cookie has been toned down, and the rest are being fixed over the course of today.

If the songs are that terrible, then the premise of [Musical] needs to be removed from the story. I figured it would have a more positive effect and compensate for use of reimagined concepts of how the past Mane 6 and later Discord, Luna and Celestia function.

And for addressing Prereader 1/0's other concern, above paragraph. The one I was challenging or perceiving a misinterpretation was the final point of song usage. That was sort of the central idea, as one of the major appeals to MLP was the singing.
>> No. 95551
File 133374777186.jpg - (75.61KB , 720x540 , hwptE.jpg )
95551
#Author is for posts that contain all of your stories. You only have one, so it should be #Single Fic. Furthermore, while that mistake is somewhat understandable (if you were too blind and lazy to read the sticky, that is), the #Collection tag doesn't make a lick of sense. And then, just in case your reader is also blind, you repeat the Normal tag in your post, yet lack the other ones.

Next up is how you repeat "divined" in the same sentence, which is more semantics than anything, but still sloppy. Shortly after, you randomly decided to test your Enter button (it worked). Finally, to cement your OP's mediocrity, you didn't even include a picture for it, opting leave it as a simple mass of bland words instead of taking five mintues to google a music-esque picture.

Oh, almost forgot that.
>If the songs are that terrible, then the premise of [Musical] needs to be removed from the story.
You didn't list that tag, or even give a passing mention in your OP about this point.

You should consider remaking your thread.


File 133366251338.jpg - (72.04KB , 1080x425 , Cover Image - The Crystal Chronicles.jpg )
95354 No. 95354 [View]
#Author #Sad #Comedy #Sci-fi #Epic, Metafiction, Mystery, “Ponoire”(Pony noire), Sardonic
Searching for the greatest tale of all time, the aspiring storyteller Plot Light never considered he would ever be a part of it. While investigating a premature frost which has covered Equestria, his fantasies of heroes and villains come alive and engulf him as he becomes entangled in a living tale where larger-than-life ponies band together to save a princess’ forgotten memories. As the adventuring herd heads forth into the dangerous fringes of the world and more and more disturbances of time erupt into reality can there be hope for a better tomorrow or will time-tearing tragedy define this tale for eternity?

Tags: Epic, Metafiction, Mystery, “Ponoire”(Pony noire), Sardonic

Entries I and II:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kITuYTm_dB5nDDKmlL0Ec1sqzkPUrnIUWEW5ndAw2S8/edit?pli=1
>> No. 95355
File 133366302620.jpg - (340.62KB , 900x601 , pb-120309-purim-da-04_photoblog900.jpg )
95355
Run-ons, get your run-ons! Due to a ordering error, we didn't recieve enough commas to meet our quota, so now we're selling you these run-on sentences at crrraaaazy prices!

Seriously, did you read this before posting? Even Pinkie Pie would have trouble reading it without gasping for air by the end.

Also, super-tag. What were you thinking with that? And I have my doubts about the legitimacy of the #Comedy tag, especaially in conjunction with the #Sad one.


File 133364309131.jpg - (144.42KB , 900x1215 , 23.jpg )
95276 No. 95276 [View]
Does there exist a more comprehensive background for the "spa ponies"? It seems strange that these two have been largely ignored by the community, yet ponies like Lyra have been embraced.
>> No. 95312
As with most of the minor/background ponies, there are a couple of fanon ideas, but nothing solid. If you write well enough, you can shape the fanon around whatever ideas you have for them.

On a side note, this kind of question really does belong in the story forge thread at >>91827.


No. 94883 [View]
#Discussion
I know I must be new here...I am. How come in some fanfics like My Little Dashie, Pinkie Pie is called "Surprise" and Fluttershy is called "Posey", etc. Idgi.
>> No. 94885
File 133342449660.gif - (470.94KB , 300x169 , 131276665970.gif )
94885
Read the sticky, first of all.
Secondly, because those were Lauren Faust's original names for those characters. They're names from the original MLP show.

There, question answered. Would you be so kind as to delete your thread now? If you don't know how to, read the Facts and Questions.
Not even sure how related to /fic/ this is, besides the tenuous MLD angle (ugh, kill it with fire).
>> No. 94887
I'm pretty sure you saw that in fimfiction and that was suppose to be part of the april fools thing were the pre-concepts of each was name like that but then changed.

>>94885
Open the sticky and find... What?

Also, report and not comment about it, remember?
>> No. 94888
File 133342625072.gif - (0.99MB , 309x225 , T3lP2.gif )
94888
>>94887
I said nothing about this being in the purview of the sticky, only that he should read it because he said "I am new here", which would imply he doesn't know how things work. Therefore, it is prudent to tell him to go to the sticky for future reference. Me asking him to delete this thread is because it has served its purpose, meaning it's no longer needed.


File 133340816278.png - (176.88KB , 498x273 , paradiselost.png )
94839 No. 94839 [View]
#Single fic #Sad #Grimdark #Adventure
"And here we ... go!"

This fanfic was created after all the feedback I recieved from my previous work: Uprising. Trust me, this one is a lot better.

Title: Paradise Lost

Synopsis: A lie begets a lie, and the world is protected by one. This is the story of those who keep Equestria on track, creating the opportunities that the Mane 6 learn from. This is who they were, how they came to be, and the biggest secret they had to hide from the rest of the world.

Links:

FiM Fiction:
Story Page - http://www.fimfiction.net/story/17961/Paradise-Lost
6 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 94851
>>94848
Ahh, okay.
Perhaps that should be added to the sticky? If you want to post mutiple stories on the board, you need to do them in one thread.

>>94850
Report it and request a deletion. A mod should take care of it.
>> No. 94854
>>94851
Is that not already in the sticky?
If not, yeah, probably a good idea.
>> No. 94858
Anyway, back to the purpose of this thread.

Your thoughts? Opinions? Put it all here! =)


File 132549818025.jpg - (176.90KB , 1024x576 , meteor_ponies.jpg )
75471 No. 75471 [View]
Out Of Context
[Adventure][Sci-Fi][Ponies In Our Galaxy]

Strange things have been going on in Equestria. An old enemy deliver a dire warning to Princess Luna. Bizarre things travel the night sky. Around Ponyville, mysterious happenings feed an undercurrent of fear.

Concurrently, two human ships, far from home, study the strange world that LSOI-1978 orbits and it's equally strange inhabitants.

Mysteries and conspiracies abound as two alien species uncover hidden truths about themselves and each other.

Link:https://docs.google.com/?authuser=0#folders/0B6TsnfEuJDLROTUyOTZlNDUtM2YxZi00Y2UxLTljNDctNDc2YWY5YTY2MGZk

There are two collections. One for the captures, and a sub-collection for Masturbatory World Building (MWB).
49 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 94737
Take a look at this: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/18539

More specifically this:
"Favourites Gallery
Same as above but for your favourites. You can
add multiple of these should you wish to show off
the best 5 crossovers you've read, then the best
5 sad stories, or something like that."

The old favourites are back, except now they're better.
>> No. 98603
>>94737
Still doesn't address any of my complaints.
>> No. 98698
I have added Out Of Context to FanFiction.net.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8053487/1/Out_Of_Context


File 133328284766.png - (99.52KB , 400x390 , OctaviaEpicPose.png )
94464 No. 94464 [View]
#Reviewer #Shipping
Hello, Ponychan! Due to a recent increase in free time, I've decided to revive my perished review thread for another round! Now, however, I will only be accepting clopfics. That means that unless your story has some sexual content within it in any way, shape or form, I will not be reviewing it in this thread. However, this is not the only thing I will be accepting; I also will be welcoming any heavy grimdark fics, and any self-insert mane cast shipping you have for me! The only reason I'm doing this is because many of the aforementioned fics find no home in other review threads, so I figured writers of those controversial subjects might find asylum with this lovely reviewer! As always, here is a list of all the rules that will be in effect on this thread.

1. If your story contains any sexual content, it will be accepted here.
2. If your story features torture, it will be accepted here.
3. NO fics are to be given by email. They are to be written in text format ON THIS PAGE. I will accept nothing else.
4. If your fic does not contain at least three (3) grammatical, spelling, or stylistic errors, I will not write up my review.
5. This is an April Fool's joke.

So, anyway, post away! Reviews will begin immediately. First come, first served1
23 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 94529
>>94527
How deep does the rabbithole go?
DUUNNNNNNN
All this, and more, in MEMENTO.
>> No. 94530
>>94526
I like it, but I think you're in violation of rule 3. Please fix; I'd like to hear Ryonne's take.
>> No. 94535
>>94530
I only got as far as "No E-Mail" :/.

“I want you to investigate my sacred artifacts, Onyx~” the goddess of the night purrs. She rubs her cerulean mane across the nape of your neck, the blue hair intermingling with the black tousles of your own mane. You find yourself rooted to the spot, unable to move lest you disturb the several-thousand year old alicorn’s intimate belongings.

“I will, er, certainly try to be as, ahem, thorough as possible, m’lady…” you manage to sputter.

She seems to take your apprehensive words in stride. “Oh, of course. Your Queen would have it no other way, after all.” Her dark blue eyes run over your body studiously.

Noticing the attention that she’s directing your way, you ask, “Um, is something the matter?”

“I’m just admiring how stable and still you are. Being able to maintain control is something that is very important for the task I’ve assigned you.” She drags her metal-clad hoof across your orange coat, the cold steel making your hairs stand up on end.


File 133320150961.jpg - (889.53KB , 1700x1168 , A war out of a dream poster.jpg )
94178 No. 94178 [View]
#Author #Sci-fi #Shipping #Adventure
hey y'all, i made a sweet sci-fi Fanfic i'm sure you guys will love, ive read it countless times, but i still get the odd spelling mistake.

let me know your opinions on it.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ptFZh2Ja0cyyrHIZA4l4jO9aFqd3nFGpdkqL9lsGFdQ/edit

(poster was made by me, i'm not the best in the world when it comes to digital art, however i have a friend who is drawing a much better one for me as he is actually an artist. he usually does superhero drawings, but hes pretty good with the digital art!)
you can find his DeviantART page here: http://skullsketcher.deviantart.com/
14 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 94341
>>94339

'Good': Things that are enjoyable to read.

'Bad': Everything else.
>> No. 94343
Well, author, welcome to /fic/, I believe you already receive your traditional derail. Now feel free to use this thread as needed.
>> No. 94451
Reading this thread, I honestly feel like I'm listening to a pair of fine British gentlemen arguing in a library. Seriously, the language and voice from you two gives off that aura of sorts.


File 133325987659.jpg - (37.37KB , 250x250 , Sad Pinkie.jpg )
94427 No. 94427 [View]
#Single fic #Normal #Sad #Psychological
[Psychological] [Sad] [Normal]

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/18232/Cross-my-Heart-and-Hope-to-Fly

Synopsis:
The mind is a fickle thing. It can act independent of rhyme or reason and make us feel emotions that have no business existing. In this story, an innocent thought creeps into Surprise's head, causing her to question her self worth. She begins hopelessly longing for so much more from life.

This is a slightly ambitious story I'm working on. The idea struck me when I thought about how it would suck to be an earth pony. No magic, no flying, yet each day these special skills would be shown off in front of you. In this story, I try to get inside the mind of Pinkie and chronicle her fall into depression as she begins to wonder if her life really is that great.

As always, I'm just looking for general comments. I mainly want to see if I'm effectively conveying Pinkie's emotions effectively, as well as making her problem seem believable.

Thanks!
>> No. 94430
File 133326097927.jpg - (388.73KB , 1024x768 , 2m7fo.jpg )
94430
>Thread for a single story
>Not using the #Author tag
You get this pic.


File 133324572489.png - (396.10KB , 859x705 , Twilight is so Cute.png )
94360 No. 94360 [View]
#Collection #Discussion #Shipping #Mystery?
The Zap Trap:
A stallion named Professor Hoovard shows up at Sweet Apple Acres one day. He introduces himself, and says that he has discovered something he calls electricity, though the way in which he harnesses it, which is using a large amount of magic and a device connected up to a large battery to fill that battery with all the power from lightning, is incredibly hard to do, as well as when he lived in Canterlot there would never be lightning, so he had to travel down to a place he built all the way down from Canterlot. He decided he would move, so he did some research and saw that Sweet Apple Acres had a Zap Apple Orchard. He thought that not only would it be a great place to move to, he could maybe find in easier way to harness electricity threw the zap apple trees. Applejack is reluctant, so she asks Twilight about it since she must know a lot about science. Twilight says it is for that, so of course she should let him. She says alright, though she and Big Mac eventually start noticing something after a while of him living on the farm. He is eying Applebloom! Is this guy a pedophile or just enjoys the company of younger ponies in a non-sexual way?
Ply:
This is a shipping fic.*
One day when Twilight is out in Ponyville she notices the stallion Noteworthy, and by notices she starts to get a crush on him. Eventually she asks Pinkie Pie about him since she knows about everypony in Ponyville; she also asks for a bit of dating advice, embarrassed when doing this. She starts talking to Noteworthy, and after a short while asks if both of them want to hang out sometime. They get in a great relationship, though eventually what happens is he says he wants to go to Canterlot to earn more fame for his talent of playing the saxophone. Twiligh says alright reluctantly after a long discussion. Noteworthy often sends letters to her, but then he randomly stops. Why is this? Has something happened? What will Twilight do?
2 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 94363
>>94361

Oh, also, I may have to bring this fanfic a bit into the future where Applebloom is a Teenager and has gotten her cutie mark, and Granny Smith is dead. I don't know how to work with Granny Smith's character, and it would make a tiny bit more sense if Applebloom was a teen.

I may be able to understand Granny Smith's character if I got some advice, though.
>> No. 94366
>>94360
The first one could be good, but I'm left to hope you're just jotting these ideas down fast-like, since the way you described them didn't particularly interest me.
>> No. 94369
>>94366

Oh, yes. I only jotted the ideas down, I have a lot more involved.


File 133323875328.docx - (22.64KB , Brotherhood is magic.docx )
94329 No. 94329 Locked [View]
#military
I'm kinda new at this. I thought I posted something before, but maybe it didnt work, or got deleted or what, so I'm gunn repost just to make sure. I'm writing a fic about mareines. this is what I have so far. I'm sure there's lots of grammar mistakes, but I just what an opinion of the story its self thanks :b
>> No. 94332
You already had your old thread deleted for not abiding by the sticky. For your own sake, please read it.
>> No. 94354
File 133324467890.png - (211.38KB , 371x447 )
94354
http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/93586+50.html

I would highly recommend reading this linked thread, OP. In the meantime, there are plenty of review threads on /fic/, and if you'd like your fic to be reviewed, you should seek out an active review thread instead of making a thread about it.


File 133291567915.png - (93.49KB , 925x943 , 131136079818.png )
93395 No. 93395 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Discussion
Looking around, despite the loads and loads of review threads, the number of fics needed to review in all threads is growing to ridiculous sizes. As such, I propose to all reviewers the following policies to try and maximize the number of different fics reviewed:

1. Don't review a fic that is has been recently entered into a queue, waiting to be reviewed. Likewise, don't review a fic that hasn't been edited by the writer yet.

2. Implement a rule that requires submissions to link all previous /fic/ reviews. If they don't have those, then require previous and current /fic/ submissions.

3. Prioritize fics that have never been reviewed over fics that have already been reviewed.

The above are just suggestions.

Barring that, review threads discussion general.
70 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 94275
>>94263
http://yudhaikeledai.deviantart.com/art/Twilight-Sparkle-and-Starcraft-Ghost-Unit-Portrait-275761185
>> No. 94307
File 133323232442.png - (23.80KB , 775x768 , 131693703696-First_Discord_image_.png )
94307
>>94275
> dat Wilhelm Scream
Oh god that Flash is awesome. There goes 20 minutes (now I'm going through the rest of that series).
>> No. 94422
>>94307
(My favourite is the fly in AJ's cockpit)


File 133092253943.jpg - (966.22KB , 2048x1536 , 2012-03-04 20_02_17.jpg )
88832 No. 88832 [View]
So, you wanna write a fanfic? Awesome. I can help with that. I review almost everything (discussed below) and destroy pretty much every fic in my path. "Not very nice" happens to be one of my specialties.

Some rules:
0. I reserve the right to drop you for any reason, whether it be conflict of interest, jackassery, or what-have-you.
1. This is a review thread. I'm not gonna be nice. Chances are, I'll be snide, sarcastic, and very joking. I'll try to not let it get in my way for the sake of professionalism. That being said, if you make the same mistake more than three times, I'm more or less going to get on your ass for it.
2. Tell me what the hay you're writing. While I do enjoy surprises, surprise gore isn't one of them.
2a. Don't mislabel stories.
3. Do not send me gore. I don't read gore. If that's your cup of tea, then so be it. I just don't drink it. I don't drink tea at all, actually.
4. Do not send me fetish fics. Regular clop is fine. Again, cups of tea.
5. Do not send me male/male romance. As intolerant as it sounds, it applies to the "cup of tea" principle. I can't be fair to things I don't like in general.
6. If you send me a Human in Equestria fic, I won't be nice. They tend to be awful. If this is your premise, I recommend scrapping it unless something super duper amazing and interesting happens.
7. Same goes for any derivative fic. I don't give a damn about the Conversion Bureau; Cupcakes disgusts me; the list goes on.
36 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 94034
Hey! You honestly sound like the perfect reviewer - I need someone absolutely harsh and not willing to blunt their words to review my fic. I'll take any chance I can take to improve, and you seem like the person to ask.

Anyway, here's the standard request according to the instruction-thingie:


Tags: [Adventure][Dark]

Synopsis: When Celestia mysteriously falls ill, the ponies of Equestria are stunned. Knowing that alicorns don't fall sick naturally, the mane six are determined to find out what, or who, is causing this. As Twilight Sparkle sets off on her own to find a cure (with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Spike secretly following), Luna struggles to rule Equestria without her sister by her side. Rarity starts pulling connections she'd made in Canterlot on previous visits to try and dig up any clues, and Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy return to Ponyville for more research.

Simultaneously, strange occurrences start to happen in Equestria, as Derpy and other Ponyville residents soon come to notice, and just where are the Cutie Mark Crusaders going this time? (Cutie Mark Crusaders Princess Savers, yeah!)

Meanwhile, deep within the depths of a forgotten mountain, an old enemy is stirring once more, his bonds finally weakening. With a dark chuckle, his plan, after millennia of waiting, is at last thrown into action.
>> No. 94170
I would like to remove my fic from this queue.

If this queue is still alive (it isn't.)

Between when I posted and now, I have solicited feedback from other sources. I think your formidable talents are best directed at someone else's work.
>> No. 95542
[13:07:22] <Filler> Hey, Cheese, regarding your thread on /fic/, is it still open?
[13:08:17] <CheeseDeluxe> Is it?
[13:08:18] <CheeseDeluxe> Not atm
[13:08:23] <CheeseDeluxe> I'm trying to get back to it
[13:08:34] <CheeseDeluxe> but I'm slowly and desperately running low on brain juice
[13:08:37] <CheeseDeluxe> and editing juice
[13:08:41] <Filler> So shall I mark it as closed?
[13:08:49] <CheeseDeluxe> For the moment.


File 133111111590.jpg - (48.33KB , 500x562 , kM4pO.jpg )
89429 No. 89429 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Discussion #Just for Fun
Every great classic has some immortal quote that touches your soul on its deepest level. All great action flick heroes have a zippy one-liner that makes them a fan favourite. No comedy is complete without an off-the-wall non-sequitur.

Have a particularly cherished quote you want to share? This is the place to do it. Even better, provide a link to the source material so that other readers can view it in all of its glory. Even-even betterer, show off your own quotable quotes!

Here's an example of what one would look like:

Quote: I am invincible!
From: Goldeneye
Video: http://youtu.be/Tl0LZsyi_tA

If it's not your own original quote, please make sure to cite its origins. Other than that, go for it!
102 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 93924
Talking to a friend about government.

Me: "I'm a firm believer in the elite/class theory of government, that's why I want to join them. You can't effect change from outside the power."
>> No. 93958
"--but even the ancient pagans noticed that Nature imposes nothing on you that Nature doesn't prepare you to bear. If that is true even of a cat, then is it not more perfectly true of a creature with rational intellect and will--whatever you may believe of Heaven?" - Abbot Zerchi, A Canticle for Leibowitz
>> No. 98813
Anyone still watching this thread? It could use more quotes.


File 133309303085.jpg - (10.36KB , 300x300 , rainbow dash.jpg )
93943 No. 93943 [View]
Ever since I got into fanfic writing, I've had a lot of thoughts about writing in general that don't have to do with any particular story idea. How much description is too much? What is proper pacing? How does one pad out a story without making it boring? Among other things.

This is just an idea, but what about a writing discussion thread? Where authors can ask about certain styles and how to go about certain elements in writing different types of stories. Narration, description, pacing, suspension of disbelief, plot progression, etc. I know there are writing guides out there, but I think a thread like this would allow discussion of more subtle or advanced ways of constructing a story. This way, authors can improve their writing as they go along, rather than having to write the whole story and wait for a review before making changes.

Like I said, it's just an idea. Maybe an awful one. Please don't hate me.
>> No. 93947
I've been saying we need a grammar/style general for a while now.

The biggest problem I see is redundant information. Too often these sorts of things end up being a mass of links to different places which often have overlapping information.
>> No. 93957
>le topic

Yes, please.

==

I recently bought a raft of books on the topic. Recommendations:

It Was the Best of Sentences, It Was the Worst of Sentences by June Casagrande

No matter what kind of writing you do, you need clarity. Clarity comes from using the structures of English grammar in ways that do not confuse the Reader. But you don't need to know "school grammar" to jump into this book: Casagrande believes in taking care of the Reader, and in this book she takes care to bring you up to speed. Also, her tone is the perfect mix of snark and optimistic helpfulness. Everypony should have a copy.


Delete post []
Password    
Report post
Reason  

[0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47]