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Mar 31With the Merger coming up soon, we have created an official steam group for the combined sites. It can be found at http://steamcommunity.com/groups/PonychanSteam

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129878 No. 129878 [View]

How do I develop an imaginative writing style? Mine so far is simplistic, emotionless, lacking and disorganized.
I want to know how to write with atmosphere and other elements, as opposed to just neutrally reporting back on the character's thoughts and actions.

For one example which I'll end up needing, how do I write numerous actions of the same category( and a boring category too which translates poorly into text such as wrestling/martial arts/choreography) while still keeping it somewhat entertaining? Or a racing action sequence.
>> No. 129896
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Read a lot. Read the work of an author whose stories positively ooze personality and let it rub off on you. Then read another author's work. Then another. So on and so forth until you take the little bits from each writer, consciously or not, and assemble them into your own Voltron of style and prose. That's really the only way, since it's so subjective.

For me, I'm a fan of dark humour. Some Pratchett (specifically his take on Death), Tim Burton's penchant for delightfully twisted takes on the macabre, and just a hint of Peter F. Hamilton when I want to get into some chrome-speak (or describe a grisly death).
>> No. 129899
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This Entrophy character speaks the truth OP.

I find my own style to contain an amusing glint of Gaiman, Duncan, and Erikson.
Outside of this, and neither step being exclusive to the other—write. Just write man. No ideas? Tired of the same tropes topics and subjects? Look up Writing Prompts. They come in a vast, titillating variety.
Write a couple thousand words about... like... there are hundreds of pantheons existing simultaneously, and they manage the univers in a huge, absurdly complicated buerocracy. And they SUCK at it.
Or... do a thing where a dude thinks he is the last man on earth for 10 years, until he suddenly meets another person. But then he kills him before they can even speak. Now explain why, and tell me that story.

Rinse, wash, repeat. Style emerges from practice. And ink poisoning. Try it out.
>> No. 129915
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Also, acorn to an oak tree that OP has already forgotten this thread exists.
>Maybe a little Brian Jacques as well since I read Redwall religiously as a kid

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129864 No. 129864 [View]
#Author #Single fic #Discussion #Grimdark

Hi! I'm an aspiring fanfic writer, and I'm looking to complete what will hopefully be my first full pony fanfiction. It's got no relation to the 2008 film Tokyo Gore Police except the title, so don't worry, no mutant engineers here.

I don't THINK I'm allowed to post the story here, because it's very graphic. I've only written the prologue and some of chapter one so far. The basic premise is an alternate reality from the main show, that starts from the beginning - Twilight is a student under Princess Celesta and is sent to Ponyville. The difference? Dash, Rarity, Pinkie, Flutters and Applejack run things in Ponyville, under the collective name of the "Ponyville Gore Police", punishing even petty crimes in extreme and obscene ways. Twilight, under orders of Celestia, must take down this band of mercenaries one by one before they overtake all of Equestria.

The goal is to present the main six characters in a way that reflects their canon personalities as closely as possible, yet mixing that with over the top and senseless violence. In other words, if this somehow made its way into the script of a real FiM episode, the only thing off and strange would be the gratuitous amounts of blood being spilled.

What I'm looking for is someone I could email the link to, as again, I'm not allowed to post it here. I want a harsh critique - this is a story I really want to work!
>> No. 129866
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I'm pretty well known as a gore/grimdark addict around here. I'd love to look it over but I can't promise to get back in a timely fashion. I'm a bit swamped with my own work atm. You might try asking in the IRC chat, though. You'd get a better response, anyway.

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114434 No. 114434 Autosaged [View] [Last 50 posts]
Greetings all, and welcome to the Training Grounds, the review thread for all authors, reviewers, proofreaders, and editors, both newcomer and seasoned veteran alike. It isn’t the only such thread, but it’s usually the busiest! (Previous edition of The Training Grounds: >>110790 The sticky, which contains important information: >>98618)

For writers
Submission guide: http://tinyurl.com/TrainingGroundsHowTo
TL/DR of the submission guide: http://tinyurl.com/TrainingGroundsTLDR
List of TTG regulars: http://tinyurl.com/TGRegulars
Submission form: http://tinyurl.com/TrainingGroundsSubmit
List of recently-finished reviews: http://tinyurl.com/TrainingGrounds-RecentReviews
Reviews in progress: http://tinyurl.com/TrainingGrounds-InProgress

For reviewers
How to review: http://tinyurl.com/TrainingGrounds-ReviewingGuide
425 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 129747
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>> No. 129790
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>> No. 129844
diWlnk http://www.QS3PE5ZGdxC9IoVKTAPT2DBYpPkMKqfz.com

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103159 No. 103159 Autosaged [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Reviewer #The Training Grounds

Greetings all, and welcome to the Training Grounds, the review thread for all authors, reviewers, proofreaders, and editors, both newcomer and seasoned veteran alike. It isn't the only such thread, but it's usually the busiest! (Previous edition of The Training Grounds; the sticky, which contains important information)

For writers:

Submission guide | TL/DR of the submission guide | A List of TTG regulars | Submission form | List of recently-finished reviews | Reviews in progress

For reviewers:

A guide to reviewing in TTG | List of unclaimed requests

For Maintainers:

The full, current active queue | A guide to how it's all organized | Statistics and thread update BBCode

For live communication:

IRC (live chat) howto and rules (or #ttg on irc.canternet.org)

Some Notes:

  • Do jump in and participate if you can. New reviewers, editors and authors are always welcome!
  • No one is infallible. If something doesn't seem right
429 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 107931
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see: >>107159
>> No. 108198
Hello, I was just wondering if anybody was going to pick up my story, There is a Season. It's been over a month, and I wasn't sure if it merely managed to be overlooked.

While I do want to aim for EqD standards for this rather large fic, I am happy to receive any insight into improving the story. I'd love suggestions for story structure, adding detail, making plot points clearer, characterization, or even just good old fashioned comments on what you think!

My original posting is here:

My story is here:
>> No. 129792
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No. 129770 Locked [View]



I need more stories like his.
>> No. 129771
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Please use the Recommendations/Requests General (>>121064) for recommendations.

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129627 No. 129627 [View]
#Discussion #Shipping

The recent CheesePie ship has sparked a bit of shipping with such intensity unlike many before it. Due to the incredible capabilities of the two ponies in particular. Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich have such an explosive dynamic it was inevitable to see a fanmade offspring of the two eventually rise. However, such offspring will not fall flat to the patterns of those before it. With a dash of creativity one may take an idea many miles.

I present before you: Quiche. The food in which her name drives from is a "cheese pie" the very definition. Her personality however is opposite to her parents' party-orthodox. She is emo, and likes to be left to herself for the most part if given the option. Quiche has a hate/love relationship with her spastic mom and dad, but does appreciate them. Also, she is SO turned on by vector calculus, nothing gets her in a better mood than that!

>Kinda new here
>> No. 129635
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Interesting concept. I imagine you've got an entire backstory planned? Perhaps enough for a fanfiction? That is kind of what we do here, or were you hoping for analysis and opinions on your take of her?
>> No. 129768
Is this ever going to have a tumblr? it really need's it vinny

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129766 No. 129766 [View]
#Author #Reviewer #Sad

Hello, my name is A.J. Vasuqez, and I need some extra help with my stories, http://www.fimfiction.net/story/169197/worse-than-death, and http://www.fimfiction.net/story/170152/worse-than-death-as-told-by-silver. I'm hopping to get them done by the end of the week, so if you want to help, please say so.

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107514 No. 107514 [View]
#Discussion #Research
Continuing the work started here:

I found Rarity to have a much more complex speech pattern. Endearments are almost nonexistent, and an entire category was required to cover all of her non-word utterances. I am including a link to the google doc (in progress) where all that I post and a few extra columns can be found.

20 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 129741
I'm not sure if this is what you are looking for or if it is helpful, but you are welcome to use it. I wrote a program that takes scripts from this site [docs.google.com] and separates them into files named with the speaker's name, which are sorted chronologically by episode.

If you have suggestions for changes I should make, feel free to ask. For those who want to use the program or learn more about what is going on, I've included a link to download the program with a working setup. The setup should be platform independent and work with any system that runs python, although I've only tested it on two. There is a Guide in that file that describes a little about what the program does and some basic use cases. It is minimally documented, but if there is a decent amount of demand, I can try to document it better.

Here is the link to just the dialogue files: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B70YU2c6VcJ3c3NuamZYVjVxa00/edit?usp=sharing

Here is the link to the entire setup for those who are interested: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B70YU2c6VcJ3YUptRkZKejBRVjQ/edit?usp=sharing
>> No. 129763

This does help, but we are not entirely home yet.

What I need is for every line in a transcript to be broken down into consumable tokens, and then stored in a spreadsheet. The tokenized line would look like the following:

[Season/Episode, Title, Author, Line #, Character, Line]

Example token:

[S1E3, The Ticket Master, Amy Keating Rogers, 30, Rainbow Dash, I would draw their attention with my Super Speed Strut.]
>> No. 129764
How does that [drive.google.com] look? I made a few changes to the format but most are relatively reversible or could be changed quickly.

I used pipes as separators instead of commas, since a lot of the dialogue will contain commas and I'm guessing that would screw up the formatting. If there is something else you would prefer I use, changing it would be literally five keystrokes, so don't hesitate to ask.

I put all the tokens together in one file, but if you'd prefer them separated like the dialogue files, that would be easy enough to do.

Also, how do you want it to handle multiple authors? Right now it just directly copies the string and doesn't worry about formatting, but I can change that easily enough. I have the authors as the last column of the token, since I'm not sure how you want them formatted, but I can move that around pretty easily as well.

I could also have it add some preliminary classifications. These wouldn't be particularly intelligent, but if there is something that happens particularly often with respect to a type of phrase, (eg shorter than n characters, ends with an exclamation, contains a specific word, etc) let me know and I can probably add it. Also, if there is anything else you can think of that would be convenient, feel free to ask and I'll see what I can do.

For anyone who wants to play with the script themselves, the setup is here [drive.google.com] .

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129758 No. 129758 [View]

Hi This Is Gonna be Brilliant Mlp Crossover With Happy Tree Friends EXCELLANT!!!!! Heres A Little Sneak Peak: Twilight Goes Through The Blood Covered Mirror
And So Does Spike The Dragon She Opens Her Eyes In A New World She First Sees A Letterbox Then She Looks At Her Hooves Which Have Now Turned Into Hands!
She Looked In A Mirror Which Spike Gave Twilight Sparkle And She Noticed Something Different She Is a Squirrel And She Screams.
>> No. 129759
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>> No. 129760
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129540 No. 129540 [View]

New computer, new city, new thread. I'm starting up this again, I hope I wasn't forgotten. ^^

Okay, so, my name's Ukai, and I used to be a big reviewer around here, back a year or two ago or so. (God it doesn't seem like so long ago). Anyway, I'm back, and taking requests.

1) No clopfic here. (E-mail it to me: [email protected])
2) Do not get defensive, if I tear your fic apart, make it better, don't hate on me.
3) Be nice to everyone else. I'm not going to explain
4) Nothing super long. If you have to ask, it probably is. This is more for you than for me, since I like to put off big assignments.
5) GDocs is preferred, but other mediums are acceptable. Except pictures.
6) I reserve the right to deny to review any fics for any reason at any time.
15 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 129721
I think the story could stand to go on longer. However, I think the abrupt ending works rather well; it's hinted that they have no idea when the spell will end and it makes the closing joke have some punch to it.

A funny story.

A straightforward plan with a complicated solution that would involve planning out and crafting new scenes to pad the word count. If I were struck by a moment of brilliance for a scene I could do in no other story I might go back to extend this one, but my current joke collection can work with newer stories just as well as this one. I'd rather not strip mine the future to improve the past.

Thank you very much for your assistance. I hope my next story feels more "complete" to you, should you decide to review it when I drop by again.
>> No. 129751
Just checking to see how the review is coming along
>> No. 129757
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Sorry for the tardiness. I’m terrible.

Line-by-line stuff is in the document.

Ch. 1

You’ve chosen a very strange introduction for the story. It’s a guy in a hospital who’s really concerned about his wife and kid. It’s touching, really, but it’s not interesting. I don’t know anything about Willow other than this, so I don’t really have any reason to like him, or care about what happens to him.

What’s so special about Willow? Usually, the introduction serves as a time for your protagonist to show the reader why he’s awesome. But this guy can barely move. He’s special because he’s injured, or sick? Because he cares about his family? Those things are so mundane. The whole scene shouldn’t show up until I actually care about this guy.

That aside, the doctor acts a little bit strange initially. More specifically, the first two bits of dialogue he acts antagonistically towards Willow. “All in good time…”? Is he a doctor or some sort of Bond villain? As a doctor, he should have plenty of experience dealing with these kinds of patients, because they happen all the time. You know what you don’t do to a panicking, injured person who’s going to harm themselves even more by freaking out, and from whom you need information to help another patient? Antagonise them. He has no reason not to answer Willow’s initial question.

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129752 No. 129752 [View]
#Author #Reviewer #Discussion


First post here :)

I'm an aspiring writer on Fimfiction. (link below) I have many ideas when it comes to writing but I have issues sustaining my work. I think that it would help me to collaborate with another writer to motivate me to continue to write. Two is better than one?
Now I know that's not the most flattering thing to say about yourself or ask. I realize this.
However, I am also offering myself (AS TRIBUTE, sorry) as a fresh pair of eyes to a story or idea.

If you've gotten this far, thanks. :)

>> No. 129753
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>checks fimfic link
>opens only story
>dat narration
Maybe you should stick around. Try hanging out in the Training Grounds thread or check out the many links littered about the board. There's a lot you can learn around here about writing if you know where to look. I've spent the last nearly two years here and picked up a lot of writing skill.

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129734 No. 129734 [View]

Pointing out basic grammar mistakes is what counts here as a reviewer, seriously?
>> No. 129737
Now there's an interesting question. What makes a reviewer a reviewer?
>> No. 129744
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We like to produce quality work here, and, well, you can have all the money in the world, but if you don't dress the part, nopony's going to give you a second look (Sweet and Elite). If we don't cover at least basic grammar, how can we expect an author to be taken seriously when they leave here with their new story they've trusted us with? Furthermore, basic grammar is the most obvious, and has hard fast rules, so not only is it an easy starting point for young reviewers/editors, removing basic grammar errors will allow a story to pass the inspection of less experienced readers, who will likely make up the majority of an author's audience.

Now that you're wearing a fancy suit, let's get you smelling good, and whip up some social skills—maybe even throw in a few dancing lessons for good measure. More skilled reviewers will be able to spot advanced mistakes that most readers would just blow past anyway, and will know how to fix a storyline that's a bit broken. A lot of us here actually do know our stuff, but since we're not an elite club with entry requirements (beyond a willingness and desire to help out), there are a few greenhorns just starting out, who—yes—only know basic grammar.

Last edited at Sun, Feb 16th, 2014 01:24

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129731 No. 129731 [View]
#Author #Single fic #Normal #Sad

Title: Octavia's Reprise

Desciption: After a near-death experience, Octavia decides to try to reconnect with Vinyl Scratch, despite leaving her scorned years ago. Based on The Living Tombstone's "Like A Spinning Record" and "Octavia's Overture".

Tags: Normal, Sad, Octavia, DJ PON-3

Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/157797/octavias-reprise

I've been publishing chapters regularly the last few weeks, and have been met with good responses. It being my first fic though I've had some trouble getting it some attention, and would love if I could get some feedback from you guys, both on where it's at right now and where it could go. Despite a good general reception, I haven't received anything particularly constructive on it. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy!
1 post omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 129740
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>You'll have to forgive me if I'm a bit rusty on my reviewing format; it's been a while since I did this.

Overall Thoughts: Not a bad beginning to a story. The hooks at the beginning and end could use a little work, and your grammar and word precision aren't as tight as they could be, but the premise is far from poorly executed.

Plot Synopsis (C1): Octavia, a snooty cellist, goes to get a cup of tea after finishing a performance. A near-death experience gives her something like an artistic identity crisis.

The first thing I noticed in this story was your writing style. You've got a habit of "indirect narration", where you mention what a character begins doing, or what they were doing. This isn't exclusively a passive tense issue, but generally, the passive tense should be avoided in writing if possible. I'll definitely admit you did a good job setting up the scenery in on the stage and in Octavia's apartment, but those segments slightly dragged for me because of their tense.

Next, I think you overuse adjectives / adverbs. Adjectives and adverbs on their own aren't bad, in my opinion. There are some people who say to avoid adverbs altogether, and to use more precise, colorful verbs (instead of "ran quickly", "dashed"). I take the middle ground of "Why not both?" The important thing isn't to reduce descriptive words totally, but to paint a more cohesive image in your readers' mind with as few words as you, the author, need to. If I were you, I'd do a quick Ctrl+F in your story for "ly", and for each instance of it, ask yourself, "Is there another way I could have said this?" If yes, try to phrase the sentence in a more descriptive manner. If no... well, you're the author, and that's your decision you've made for that particular sentence.
>> No. 129742
For starters, I'll go ahead and say I don't blame you for disliking the cover art; it really was something I slapped together after not being able to find a picture that satisfied me. I only have limited photo editing abilities myself, but I figured it was better than nothing. I'm hoping something else will grab my attention and that I could use it, though I may also see if I can come up with something better on my own.

I agree that the idea of pairing these two characters is far from original. It would definitely take something unique and special to make it stand out among so many others. the fact though that the story came to me while listening to songs about these two characters made it kind of unavoidable though... Not trying to come up with excuses or anything.

I do hear a lot about Fimfic's writing groups; I could never tell exactly how to get involved in them, but if you think it could be worth it I may just give it more of a shot. Certainly sounds as though I could benefit from it, from what you tell me.
>> No. 129743
The "indirect narration", as you call it, is something I do recognize as a problem in my own writing. It never feels jarring when I read it myself, and it's how I naturally tell stories, so it's kind of hard for me to avoid it at times. I apologize in advance if future chapters bother you in this regard, although if you have suggestions on how I might be able to train myself to recognize and work around this sort of thing I would love to give it a shot.

The overuse of adjectives and adverbs is valid as well, as is word precision; I will definitely be looking out for that more in the future.

As far as the timing of the invasion goes... It was something I was worried about myself, and was secretly hoping no one would quite catch onto. Clearly you've shown me to expect a little more from my audience hahaha. For now I suppose I'll just say that Octavia's adrenaline made her perceive things go by much quicker than they actually did, though I know that's a cop out. I guess when it comes down to it I just didn't want to spend more of the chapter running away in fear than necessary.

I admit the end of the first chapter doesn't have the best ending hook/cliffhanger, and a few other chapters are similar. I've been trying to be better about that, however, and the most recent chapter and the next to be published I've rearranged some to do just this. Where chapter one leaves off though is simply where I felt like it needed to end; it felt complete there. I know that's a hollow excuse for ending a chapter where it does, but there you go. I guess it was my hope that the reader would be interested enough in seeing how the day's events would affect Octavia, and in that regard I hope the next chapter answers that question (though it also doesn't leave the best ending hook, I feel).

I just want to end this post by saying that I appreciate you reading and reviewing this story so far; you're the first to go into this kind of detail, and I can tell t

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129700 No. 129700 [View]
#Single fic

<You wake up and your room is filled with ponies. you are verry happy to see that ponies are real and there in your very room. but then you question it. you start to say its a dream. but you dont care because there are ponies and it would at least seem real...but then you walk up to Rainbow Dash then try to talk to her..she doesnt respond..your mind gets alittle "curious" and you peek at her Flank..you quickly realise that it looks as if her cutie mark has been cut off..you back away and bump into Sweetie Belle...you look at her chest closly because you think you see something odd..it looks as if the ponies were sewn onto pony moddles..you run out of your room and run into Celestia..you think surely she could help..but you see she has been killed aswell..you hear hoofsteps..you walk toword them and you find Pinkie Pie...she holds up a knife...but before she can stab you you wake up quickly seting up in your bed. you wipe sweat from your forhead "few it was just a dream" you say. you get up to get a glass of water...but as soon as you open your door...there she is>

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129694 No. 129694 [View]

Stone of changelings

Flash fire was flying over ponyville towards sky high her everfree forest house. He saw derpy hooves at sugarcube corner getting her breakfast muffin, twilight reading some books, and rarity in her finest dress. When he came at the everfree forest he saw a dark figure. It looked a bit like a changeling. Why are there changelings in ponyville asked flash to himself. When he came at her house he came in and they started talking about what happend like always. But today there was something special. There was a strange stone in the forest. She said that she left it alone for her own safety. But flash wanted to see that stone with his other friends cat blanket and party pal. So they came and they went into the everfree forest. Now they see why sky high didnt go to the stone. there were manticores and a maze with a roofing so they cant watch the route. But party pal used her magic to push the leaves away and freeze the manticores so they can come to the stone. Party pal lifts the stone with her magic and brings the stone to sky high her house to investigate it.
The stone whispered to them: touch me, touch me. When they touched it something happened, they became changeling they started attacking each other until they realised they were the 4 the 4 who are now a changeling. They have to find someone who can turn them back or at least change the past. Rarity? No. Button mash? No. Doctor whooves? Yes he could do it he has a time traveling royal guard hut. So why ask him if he could help. They changed to the old selfes and did go to the doctor. They changed back in front of him. The doctor was amazed. He could help them. But first they have to prove they are not mean changelings.

End of the first chapter.
>> No. 129698
I like the suspense of not knowing why the stone is there, and it's creepy how it wants Flash and folks to touch it. That's the best part so far. Maybe the maze could have been a little harder and more dangerous to solve.

But now I don't know how they'll convince the Doc, so I want to hear that part next.

(Also for the love of Celestia, press the enter button a few more times, big blocks of text are hard to read!)

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