>>129878
Read a lot. Read the work of an author whose stories positively ooze personality and let it rub off on you. Then read another author's work. Then another. So on and so forth until you take the little bits from each writer, consciously or not, and assemble them into your own Voltron of style and prose. That's really the only way, since it's so subjective.

For me, I'm a fan of dark humour. Some Pratchett (specifically his take on Death), Tim Burton's penchant for delightfully twisted takes on the macabre, and just a hint of Peter F. Hamilton when I want to get into some chrome-speak (or describe a grisly death).

>>129878
This Entrophy character speaks the truth OP.

I find my own style to contain an amusing glint of Gaiman, Duncan, and Erikson.
Outside of this, and neither step being exclusive to the other—write. Just write man. No ideas? Tired of the same tropes topics and subjects? Look up Writing Prompts. They come in a vast, titillating variety.
Write a couple thousand words about... like... there are hundreds of pantheons existing simultaneously, and they manage the univers in a huge, absurdly complicated buerocracy. And they SUCK at it.
Or... do a thing where a dude thinks he is the last man on earth for 10 years, until he suddenly meets another person. But then he kills him before they can even speak. Now explain why, and tell me that story.

Rinse, wash, repeat. Style emerges from practice. And ink poisoning. Try it out.

>>129899
>Pic
Also, acorn to an oak tree that OP has already forgotten this thread exists.
>Maybe a little Brian Jacques as well since I read Redwall religiously as a kid

I'm pretty well known as a gore/grimdark addict around here. I'd love to look it over but I can't promise to get back in a timely fashion. I'm a bit swamped with my own work atm. You might try asking in the IRC chat, though. You'd get a better response, anyway.
http://client.canternet.org/?channels=fic

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>>107360
>>107368
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see: >>107159

Hello, I was just wondering if anybody was going to pick up my story, There is a Season. It's been over a month, and I wasn't sure if it merely managed to be overlooked.

While I do want to aim for EqD standards for this rather large fic, I am happy to receive any insight into improving the story. I'd love suggestions for story structure, adding detail, making plot points clearer, characterization, or even just good old fashioned comments on what you think!

My original posting is here:
http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/103159.html#104023

My story is here:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/25774/There-is-a-Season

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Please use the Recommendations/Requests General (>>121064) for recommendations.

Interesting concept. I imagine you've got an entire backstory planned? Perhaps enough for a fanfiction? That is kind of what we do here, or were you hoping for analysis and opinions on your take of her?

Is this ever going to have a tumblr? it really need's it vinny

>>129725
I'm not sure if this is what you are looking for or if it is helpful, but you are welcome to use it. I wrote a program that takes scripts from this site [docs.google.com] and separates them into files named with the speaker's name, which are sorted chronologically by episode.

If you have suggestions for changes I should make, feel free to ask. For those who want to use the program or learn more about what is going on, I've included a link to download the program with a working setup. The setup should be platform independent and work with any system that runs python, although I've only tested it on two. There is a Guide in that file that describes a little about what the program does and some basic use cases. It is minimally documented, but if there is a decent amount of demand, I can try to document it better.


Here is the link to just the dialogue files: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B70YU2c6VcJ3c3NuamZYVjVxa00/edit?usp=sharing

Here is the link to the entire setup for those who are interested: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B70YU2c6VcJ3YUptRkZKejBRVjQ/edit?usp=sharing

>>129727
>>129741

This does help, but we are not entirely home yet.

What I need is for every line in a transcript to be broken down into consumable tokens, and then stored in a spreadsheet. The tokenized line would look like the following:

[Season/Episode, Title, Author, Line #, Character, Line]

Example token:

[S1E3, The Ticket Master, Amy Keating Rogers, 30, Rainbow Dash, I would draw their attention with my Super Speed Strut.]…

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>>129763
How does that [drive.google.com] look? I made a few changes to the format but most are relatively reversible or could be changed quickly.

I used pipes as separators instead of commas, since a lot of the dialogue will contain commas and I'm guessing that would screw up the formatting. If there is something else you would prefer I use, changing it would be literally five keystrokes, so don't hesitate to ask.

I put all the tokens together in one file, but if you'd prefer them separated like the dialogue files, that would be easy enough to do.

Also, how do you want it to handle multiple authors? Right now it just directly copies the string and doesn't worry about formatting, but I can change that easily enough. I have the authors as the last column of the token, since I'm not sure how you want them formatted, but I can move that around pretty easily as well.

I could also have it add some preliminary classifications. These wouldn't be particularly intelligent, but if there is something that happens particularly often with respect to a type of phrase, (eg shorter than n characters, ends with an exclamation, contains a specific word, etc) let me know and I can probably add it. Also, if there is anything else you can think of that would be convenient, feel free to ask and I'll see what I can do.

For anyone who wants to play with the script themselves, the setup is here [drive.google.com] .…

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I think the story could stand to go on longer. However, I think the abrupt ending works rather well; it's hinted that they have no idea when the spell will end and it makes the closing joke have some punch to it.

A funny story.

A straightforward plan with a complicated solution that would involve planning out and crafting new scenes to pad the word count. If I were struck by a moment of brilliance for a scene I could do in no other story I might go back to extend this one, but my current joke collection can work with newer stories just as well as this one. I'd rather not strip mine the future to improve the past.

Thank you very much for your assistance. I hope my next story feels more "complete" to you, should you decide to review it when I drop by again.

>>129718
Just checking to see how the review is coming along

Sorry for the tardiness. I’m terrible.

Line-by-line stuff is in the document.

Ch. 1

You’ve chosen a very strange introduction for the story. It’s a guy in a hospital who’s really concerned about his wife and kid. It’s touching, really, but it’s not interesting. I don’t know anything about Willow other than this, so I don’t really have any reason to like him, or care about what happens to him.

What’s so special about Willow? Usually, the introduction serves as a time for your protagonist to show the reader why he’s awesome. But this guy can barely move. He’s special because he’s injured, or sick? Because he cares about his family? Those things are so mundane. The whole scene shouldn’t show up until I actually care about this guy.

That aside, the doctor acts a little bit strange initially. More specifically, the first two bits of dialogue he acts antagonistically towards Willow. “All in good time…”? Is he a doctor or some sort of Bond villain? As a doctor, he should have plenty of experience dealing with these kinds of patients, because they happen all the time. You know what you don’t do to a panicking, injured person who’s going to harm themselves even more by freaking out, and from whom you need information to help another patient? Antagonise them. He has no reason not to answer Willow’s initial question.
…

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>checks fimfic link
>opens only story
>dat narration
Maybe you should stick around. Try hanging out in the Training Grounds thread or check out the many links littered about the board. There's a lot you can learn around here about writing if you know where to look. I've spent the last nearly two years here and picked up a lot of writing skill.

Now there's an interesting question. What makes a reviewer a reviewer?

We like to produce quality work here, and, well, you can have all the money in the world, but if you don't dress the part, nopony's going to give you a second look (Sweet and Elite). If we don't cover at least basic grammar, how can we expect an author to be taken seriously when they leave here with their new story they've trusted us with? Furthermore, basic grammar is the most obvious, and has hard fast rules, so not only is it an easy starting point for young reviewers/editors, removing basic grammar errors will allow a story to pass the inspection of less experienced readers, who will likely make up the majority of an author's audience.

Now that you're wearing a fancy suit, let's get you smelling good, and whip up some social skills—maybe even throw in a few dancing lessons for good measure. More skilled reviewers will be able to spot advanced mistakes that most readers would just blow past anyway, and will know how to fix a storyline that's a bit broken. A lot of us here actually do know our stuff, but since we're not an elite club with entry requirements (beyond a willingness and desire to help out), there are a few greenhorns just starting out, who—yes—only know basic grammar.

Last edited at Sun, Feb 16th, 2014 01:24

>>129731
>You'll have to forgive me if I'm a bit rusty on my reviewing format; it's been a while since I did this.

Overall Thoughts: Not a bad beginning to a story. The hooks at the beginning and end could use a little work, and your grammar and word precision aren't as tight as they could be, but the premise is far from poorly executed.

Plot Synopsis (C1): Octavia, a snooty cellist, goes to get a cup of tea after finishing a performance. A near-death experience gives her something like an artistic identity crisis.

Review:
The first thing I noticed in this story was your writing style. You've got a habit of "indirect narration", where you mention what a character begins doing, or what they were doing. This isn't exclusively a passive tense issue, but generally, the passive tense should be avoided in writing if possible. I'll definitely admit you did a good job setting up the scenery in on the stage and in Octavia's apartment, but those segments slightly dragged for me because of their tense.

Next, I think you overuse adjectives / adverbs. Adjectives and adverbs on their own aren't bad, in my opinion. There are some people who say to avoid adverbs altogether, and to use more precise, colorful verbs (instead of "ran quickly", "dashed"). I take the middle ground of "Why not both?" The important thing isn't to reduce descriptive words totally, but to paint a more cohesive image in your readers' mind with as few words as you, the author, need to. If I were you, I'd do a quick Ctrl+F in your story for "ly", and for each instance of it, ask yourself, "Is there another way I could have said this?" If yes, try to phrase the sentence in a more descriptive manner. If no... well, you're the author, and that's your decision you've made for that particular sentence.
…

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>>129738
For starters, I'll go ahead and say I don't blame you for disliking the cover art; it really was something I slapped together after not being able to find a picture that satisfied me. I only have limited photo editing abilities myself, but I figured it was better than nothing. I'm hoping something else will grab my attention and that I could use it, though I may also see if I can come up with something better on my own.

I agree that the idea of pairing these two characters is far from original. It would definitely take something unique and special to make it stand out among so many others. the fact though that the story came to me while listening to songs about these two characters made it kind of unavoidable though... Not trying to come up with excuses or anything.

I do hear a lot about Fimfic's writing groups; I could never tell exactly how to get involved in them, but if you think it could be worth it I may just give it more of a shot. Certainly sounds as though I could benefit from it, from what you tell me.

>>129740
The "indirect narration", as you call it, is something I do recognize as a problem in my own writing. It never feels jarring when I read it myself, and it's how I naturally tell stories, so it's kind of hard for me to avoid it at times. I apologize in advance if future chapters bother you in this regard, although if you have suggestions on how I might be able to train myself to recognize and work around this sort of thing I would love to give it a shot.

The overuse of adjectives and adverbs is valid as well, as is word precision; I will definitely be looking out for that more in the future.

As far as the timing of the invasion goes... It was something I was worried about myself, and was secretly hoping no one would quite catch onto. Clearly you've shown me to expect a little more from my audience hahaha. For now I suppose I'll just say that Octavia's adrenaline made her perceive things go by much quicker than they actually did, though I know that's a cop out. I guess when it comes down to it I just didn't want to spend more of the chapter running away in fear than necessary.

I admit the end of the first chapter doesn't have the best ending hook/cliffhanger, and a few other chapters are similar. I've been trying to be better about that, however, and the most recent chapter and the next to be published I've rearranged some to do just this. Where chapter one leaves off though is simply where I felt like it needed to end; it felt complete there. I know that's a hollow excuse for ending a chapter where it does, but there you go. I guess it was my hope that the reader would be interested enough in seeing how the day's events would affect Octavia, and in that regard I hope the next chapter answers that question (though it also doesn't leave the best ending hook, I feel).

I just want to end this post by saying that I appreciate you reading and reviewing this story so far; you're the first to go into this kind of detail, and I can tell t…

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I like the suspense of not knowing why the stone is there, and it's creepy how it wants Flash and folks to touch it. That's the best part so far. Maybe the maze could have been a little harder and more dangerous to solve.

But now I don't know how they'll convince the Doc, so I want to hear that part next.

(Also for the love of Celestia, press the enter button a few more times, big blocks of text are hard to read!)