>>129689
Any comments, questions, advice? This is just the outline. My real story is already on FIMFICTION

>>129690
I tried to make a video of me reading but I wasn't able to get far. You've got some telly lines, but your biggest problem is grammar. I also get the feel that English is not your first language. Grammarbook.com is a nice tool for learning to write in english, and you can check out Ezn's guide or the Editor's Omnibus for overall writing tips.

>>129691
First I do have a writing disability, but actually this is a rough draft. I have the story on FIMFICTION and it is of much better quality. Thanks for the advice and i will look into it. However if you want to edited version. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/166524/sunsets-on-spike-sunset-of-canterlot

>Mature · Gore
No gore allowed on Ponychan, sorry.

>The Next Generation
>Pic is what my thoughts immediately turned to

>>129544
Make it so...

Should remove the banter in the first minute of the story. Metadata (e.g., word count and synopsis) can be included in the video description. The narration only needs two things: the title, then the story. No point wasting time on other things.

Voice is clear and understandable. Microphone quality is adequate.

Inflection to disambiguate dialogue from narration is good. It's easy to tell the difference between them.

Pauses between sentences are timed well.

I would suggest adding slightly longer pauses between paragraphs.

There are a lot of stutters and flubs due to this seemingly being done in one take. If you're serious about making a good reading, you need to do more than one take. This issue bleeds into everything else I've mentioned and more-or-less mars the whole thing.

>>99816

Sorry to pester, but I thought I'd jot down a few notes in case we decide to go our seperate ways.

-Isn't there a canon pegasus named Flitter?

-Flitter has wings--why doesn't he save himself at the end? One thought is that he makes the concious decision not to.

-Referring to the changelings collectively as "The Swarm" reminds me of Starcraft's Zerg, in a bad way. See if you can find another noun--perhaps "The Host?"

-If you want to maintain their insect-like ways, perhaps give the Changelings an accent. My first thought is that you could change their S's to "zz"--for example, "Changelingzz" or "the Zzwarm." If you do it right, this could be effective, and you could show that flitter has the accent, rather than tell us.
(My first thought--if you're still calling them "The Swarm," have them use an "S" word before you use the name "Swarm." That way, we can figure out what their accent is before we read the word "Zzwarm," making it easier to figure out what they're actually saying.)…

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>>99853

-Flitterheart, actually, and it's a mare. I wanted the changeling to have a simpler, vaguer name than most normal pony names. Anyway, since it's kinda the story title, I'm not changing that :P

-He's utterly despairing at that moment. He has come to identify himself so much with his pony form that he panics at the thought of losing it. And that's what just happened.

-Hmm, I'd go for Colony or Hive or something, then.

-The accent stuff: I thought about that, but I think at the end he doesn't actually say anything it could be applied to. I also imagine his voice being more practised than that of Chrysalis' changelings, meaning he doesn't really have an accent, but more of an odd sound to it, like Chrysalis' own undisguised voice.

As for the timeline, I'd imagine them to have known each other for a few months, tops, but not really first-date-accident stuff. Flitter was, of course, comparing it to the 20 years they spent together afterwards. I've sent more details on that to your email.

>>99659
I'm not sure why, but this image makes me wonder if there are changeling sea ponies.

My favorite fanfic is A Mighty Demon Slayer Grooms Some Ponies. Its a crossover between G1 and G4, and its a lot darker than it sounds. Its more about G1 than G4, but that's kind of the beauty of it.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/71660/a-mighty-demon-slayer-grooms-some-ponies

>>129458
Don't know about the rest of you, but I think I'm fine with knowing nothing about MLP pre-gen4.

>>129473
ah, but then we would never learn of his most glorious ooze, The Smooze.

>>127247
Holy shit that dead pony is disturbing to look at.

Hi, I'd like to add my FoE story to the list and apparently this is the place to do so.

Title: Fallout Equestria - The Wish Machine

Author: RealmOfMereShadows

Tags: [DARK], [CROSSOVER], [ADVENTURE]

Synopsis: Nopony ever wanted the apocalypse, the fall of the Balefire bombs, the release of the pink cloud and all the mess that happened afterward. Fortunately, I survived the Last Day. Unfortunately, I lived long enough to see the hell that followed and fought long enough to leave my mark into the brickwork of the shaping Equestrian Wasteland.
My name is Vault Skin, but ponies know me as 'Waste'. And this is my story.

Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/139920/fallout-equestria-the-wish-machine

need a name and help to write a story to my OC1

>>86833
review? no that was a comment. You want a review trust me there are plenty of threads here.
There must be some irony in the OP actually causing one of the writers to reevaluate their work.

>>86848
>There must be some irony in the OP actually causing one of the writers to reevaluate their work.
mfw I lack an effective way to express that's how /fic rolls.

Someone told me this ones good:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/9074/The-Equinid

Afraid I've never been good with lyrics, but it seems to rhyme, so that's good I guess?

You keep well with the cadence of the original russian.
The first refrain seems odd, because you consolidate four lines into one, and then add in your own.

Original (translated poorly into english)
So let the Red
Grip with power
Its bayonet with a callous hand
And we must
Irrepressibly
Go into the last mortal battle

You make great rhymes, but it feels odd to have five lines not in the original thrown in like that.…

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>>129424
We don't have the dignity to follow in the footsteps of SALT. They closed down before everything collapsed under its own weight. We're already past that point. The only thing I can say is, most of us have moved to greener pastures. A lot of us have moved to fimfic, and are working there with different groups.

Ponychan doesn't offer anything which they can't.

Honestly, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. mlpchan /fic/ is dead. I don't know what happened to the chat. Ponychan /fic/ is just barely holding on to being what it was. We only have about three or four of the Old Guard holding the fort.

I... I really don't know. I don't know if Ponychan is worth it. There are so many threads here that stand as a testament to the Glory Days... but they are now still, idle, and no more are coming in.

Should I let alone these hallowed halls? Should I leave them to rest in peace? There are so many who were there in the Glory Days, many whom I never met. But to those I have met, and learned from, and perhaps made friends with, I am deeply thankful.

Maybe we're nearing the end?…

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Ignore filename.

Where do we go from here?

Everywhere.

Nowhere.

We tried moving once, to MLPChan, and we stayed there for a while. That didn't work out, and traffic was split between the old and new /fic/ boards, so we came back. But things have changed a whole bunch since then, haven't they? Fimfiction's more than doubled in size, and I think it's uncontested that it's the go-to source for fanfiction now, for readers who regularly read fanfiction. Groups have gotten a lot bigger. Most of the old reviewers have gone to be EQD pre-readers or Seattle's Angels members, or aren't into pony stories anymore.

On top of that, public reviews aren't much in demand anymore. If a writer's good, he or she usually has editors that are also good writers. You know, friends. Like how shortskirtsandexplosions's thread used to be, except much more common. After all, why wait over a month for the feedback of someone you don't know when you can poke a friend on Skype? Fimfiction's popularity system rewards quantity over quality, and when you need to push a new short story (or "Chapters 1 and 2" of a story you're probably not going to continue) every week or two, you might not want to or need to wait. Not to say good writers necessarily care that much about getting into the featured box, or even that those who do aren't "good writers", but those you see in the featured box the most often aren't writing the type of stories that the more vocal members of /fic/ look to read.
…

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>Ponychan is dying.
>this board was generally abuzz with activity, constantly.
>But now it's gone, and I'm not quite sure why.
I could tell you why, but I refuse to uncap that can of worms. The problem has been fixed, but the damage has been done. We still get recommendations, but mostly from those who say this place in its hayday. Everypony new goes to other resources which are now available. We've simply fallen off the map. The sad reality is that /fic/ only survived because it was here first. There are better, more convenient resources out there, with equally skilled individuals. We're kind of like the iPhone. When it first came out, it was cool, it was new, it was creative and exciting. Now it's just a stale old product eating the dust of younger competitors.

I'm sure we'd get a slow trickle back in, which I can tell you as I've been watching, has indeed been happening. It will be quite a while before it's a roaring stream again, if ever, but traffic now is significantly higher than it was six months ago.

>>129433
Alakazam here put it nicely
>There are so many who were there in the Glory Days, many whom I never met. But to those I have met, and learned from, and perhaps made friends with, I am deeply thankful.
> I try to help out in the Training Grounds, but I can't review like I used to. I don't have the fervor.
In my case it's more that I soured with age--like sweet milk--but the result is the same. I choose not to review for fear of forgetting to be helpful when a bad story comes my way--I'm not as optimistic as I once was. And on top of that, I'm only finishing up a few last promises before I begin my own original works. Ponies has been a fun phase in my life, and I never fully abandon friends, but I've moved on, and pony fiction just doesn't enthrall me the way…

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>>129184
Remake as in a different structure and different premise, which only utilizes a few loose ideas from the original source.
Separate premier works too, besides there's a huge load of stories about Nightmare Moon's banishment.
The tv show doesn't have standards.

>The tv show doesn't have standards.

Which is why I said "the standards set by any individual episode".

>>129183
When people realize what true fan-fiction is, as opposed to original fiction.

Seems like everyone is trying to find the perfect solution. Too bad that hurts more then it helps. Throw it up to a vote if you have to, because at this point your all taking turns pissing in the same cup.

>>82262

...but #ttg has been deader than a skunk on a highway for little under a month by now.

Hi, just a general question about reviews here.
In the Training grounds review thread, does a story you want to have reviewd have to be pony related?

I haven't read the guidelines since I went there a bit about a year ago so I don't remember if it said anything about i and I really would prefer to not spend the hour I'll need re-reading EVERYTHING...

TL;DR:can you post any story for review in the training ground or is it strictly pony related only?

>>128375
no
but then again what am I

>>128375
no
but then again what am I

Another /fic/ thread that the spambots seem to adore. Locking it since it hasn't been posted in for well over a year.