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106451 No. 106451
#Discussion #General #Story Forge
Hello, and welcome to the seventh iteration of the Story Forge, /fic/'s story idea and brainstorming general thread!

If you have a story idea that you do not wish to write, or are looking for a seed of an idea upon which to build your world, consider this place a literary take-a-penny jar. We can also help flesh out your story ideas, but do suggest that once you get the ball rolling, to move the conversation to one of our many fine Review Threads. If you see someone asking for fic ideas, or posting a few, please direct them here.

Form if you want feedback on your idea: http://goo.gl/3rdNQ
The list of ideas: http://goo.gl/o4sCW

Previous thread: >>97121
Unspoiler all text  • Expand all images  • Reveal spoilers
>> No. 106452
To whoever controls the form and spreadsheet: Please add a "Just dropping off my idea so someone else can use it" option to the checklist.
>> No. 106453
...Or clarifying what "Choose what you're asking" entails, since "Story idea" isn't really something to ask for if you're using the form.
>> No. 106475

Er, I mean, sure thing. Right after I make a new sheet for v7, and I have some more time, and my brain matter congeals enough to do so after this mad week of RTFM, impatient people, multiple series of tubes, and frantic Rockstar-powered excursions in Google land, which may actually end soon.

>> No. 106476
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hey there everypony; for some time now i've been considering writing some lovecraftian pony fanfic stories, but the thing is: i've never written any sort of stories before outside of school, years ago. so if any of you would like to give me some advice for what is basically a first time writer, it'd really help.

aside from this, i've also got a dilemma concerning which town i should have my first story take place in. at first i was thinking i'd use Trottingham, but as far as i can recall, nothing really concrete has been said about that town, and i don't want to write all about the town, and then see the town show up in season 3 and be completely different from what i've written. so if anyone has any suggestions for a town, i'd be really appreciative.

thanks in advance for any help given :)
>> No. 106477
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Wow, I didn't realize this thread ran a queue.
>> No. 106478
It's less of a queue and more of a "shit guys, there is a shit ton of stuff here" list.
>> No. 106479
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same here; i just barely missed the last iteration with my above post
>> No. 106484
Yeah, sort of.

I gave its rationale somewhere in the last thread. Basically, ideas and questions are easily lost in the thread after a while.
>> No. 106486
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So, here's a crazy idea:

The Ice King write a fanfiction about MLP. He's already written a FanFiction about Finn and Jake.

Huh? Yeah?... Anyone?
>> No. 106489
Except it should be Crysalis.
>> No. 106492
Or where he uses his magic powers to capture some of the ponies. What he didn't learn from Finn and Jake he will learn from the pony rescue party that defeats his ice magic like the wendigos.
>> No. 106493
I should just completely cross over AT and MLP at that point, which may actually work. The Land of Ooo is just a small island continent according to the creators, and takes place over 1000 years after the 'Mushromm War'. Maybe Princess Celestia is actually a result of a nuclear fallout, like how Marcellene most likely was just a girl during the war but is now a 1000 year old vampire.

It's crazy, I know, but I legitimately don't know which show is better in my opinion: Adventure Time or MLP?
She's not silly enough. She's like an ACTUAL villain. Ice King is just a crazy old man who wants to marry a princess... Princess Celestia... It fits so perfectly.
>> No. 106495
Hmm, point.
Perhaps she teams up with him, planning to backstab him at some point? Except he backstabs her first, then combines Celestia, Luna, Cadance with Chrysalis' power a la that monster princess episode.

>It's crazy, I know, but I legitimately don't know which show is better in my opinion: Adventure Time or MLP?
I'm not sure. Adventure Time has its moment, but the more I watch it, the less it makes me laugh :| .
>> No. 106498
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Peggy Hill is called by Celestia to substitute for Cherilee and teaches Spanish to the ponies.

The End.
>> No. 106537
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>It's crazy, I know, but I legitimately don't know which show is better in my opinion: Adventure Time or MLP?

I've noticed the AT is better in small doses, IMO.

Being the hopeless Dislestia shipper that I am, is there anyone out there who'd be interested in writing a DiscordxCelestia story that isn't OMGTRAGIC. Or at least somewhat refreshing.

I'd do it myself, but I have no idea what I'd write about.
>> No. 106540
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>Adventure Time vs MLP
I imagine them both being at equal heights, perched upon stacks of the slain corpses of similar cartoons.

MLP:FiM is a rare good MLP cartoon because it's got heart. Adventure Time's a rare good modern, random-weirdness-based cartoon because it's got heart. They're both counterparts of each other in slightly different genres, and they both stand as the best examples of their genres because you can plainly see how much love and effort has gone into the setting and characters of each one. The secret is fancy mathematics.

I could write essays about Ice King.
>> No. 106541
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>Shipping story

I think you've missed the boat by about an entire year. I think the fandom should focus less on shipping IMO, but every once in a while you will find a good shipping story that breaks away from the mass abomination that is the pool of generic shipfics

I personally don't see why people ship Celestia and Discord. 'They're opposing characters, MUST HAVE TOTALLY DATED'

I can agree on that.

Ice King is best king.
>> No. 106545
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How exactly would you propose a Discord x Celestia story be anything but tragic, exactly? The ending is set in canon: Celestia casts him into stone.
>> No. 106546
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But Discord didn't exist a year ago... :(

And I enjoy shipping them because they're my two favorite characters. There isn't much logic behind it for me, just lulz.

Adventure Time is awesome because it's that new breed of show where the crew is communicating with it's audience through the web. It's created by those who were <i>raised</i> on the web. And while I can only take so much lolrandom, I do thoroughly enjoy it when I watch it.

>pic= Adventure Time
>> No. 106547
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It doesn't <i>have</i> to end with Celestia trapping Discord in stone; it could just a stupid and fluffy romantic comedy for all I care.

Yes, the tragedy is still there, but not the focus of the story, basically.
>> No. 106551
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What if Discord was her lover who ended up sacrificing himself in order to save Equestria, but as a result, was corrupted and changed into his current form, with only fragments of his memory still there. Because he can't even remember who Celestia is and he essentially goes under a personality change from whatever corrupted him, he takes over Equestria until Celestia and Luna use the Elements on him, etc.. You know the story from there.

I don't know, Discord always just seemed to strike me as a character with way more back story than we're actually told, to the point he could've been a different person entirely.
>> No. 106552
I'm trying to find the story, but it's been done.
>> No. 106553
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:33< you're welcome!
>> No. 106556
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Alright, then Discord was actually a piece of clay who was given a form by Celestia or her parents or some shit. She/They/Whoever modeled it after their favorite animals but then Discord gained sentience after coming in contact with dark magic or something. Boom, Frankenstein type shit goes does and Discord supplants everypony and fucks them all over and becomes ruler of Equestria by stealing the powers from various legends such as Tirek, Grogar, and all those other dastardly bastards.

Eventually, Celestia and Luna team up and screw him over, and the rest is already known.
>> No. 106584
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Someone made a rather funny suggestion on /show/ saying Discord and Celestia started dating just to prove to Luna that they could.

That'd be pretty funny story right there...
>> No. 106590
My head canon says Discord used to be known as Chaos, and created the very universe. Just like his name suggests though, his personality and objectives constantly evolve and mutate. Before, he was the kind of chaos that causes evolution and creation, later he becomes the sort of chaos that self-destructs and destroys everything around it. Recognizing he would eventually become so twisted as to destroy his own creations, he strips himself of as much power as he can and uses it to create Celestia and Luna, who embody order. So begins a delicate balancing act between order where, it if ruled, the world would be static (as evidenced by the animals not being independant and the weather having to be manipulated manually), and chaos, which would cause the collapse of civilization.
>> No. 106591
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Alright. I didn't get any feedback from last thread, so I'll have to repeat it, although shorten it up.
The basic plot points are:

>Fic starts out like a typical CMC episode, they try a bunch of new stuff to get their marks but to no avail
>Focus on Applebloom who grows more and more impatient, goes to see Zecora about it
>Zecora says no but lets it slip that a witch doctor called Tartarin, who operates in the same field as Zecora herself, could help Applebloom, however she advises her against even meeting him and kicks her out for her own good
>Applebloom manages to get his location out of an unaware Twilight
>Goes there, meets him, he tricks her into getting a cutie mark for a ridiculous sum of money she has to pay back in like a month + the fact she can never go back to Ponyville, and if she breaks the contract by not paying back or going back to Ponyville, he'll come for her and take away her soul to use as payment
>Applebloom agrees, gets her cutie mark and has to work in some snowy town selling matchsticks
>Meets a bunch of new friends - two poor homeless fillies and a middle-aged stallion who has been in debt with Tartarin for years and is, like her, a month away from having his deal expire
>Everyone is worried sick about Applebloom's disappearence and implied death, Applejack is the one who takes it the least well, and even with the help of her friends and family she's turning into a recluse
>Applebloom manages to write a letter to Ponyville only telling everyone that she's fine and what she did, although not giving away her location.
>Barely a week before the deadline, Applebloom decides to run back to Ponyville with her new friends
>Tartarin finds out and is fucking pissed, disguises as Zecora to sneak into Ponyville to get her and the other stallion in debt
>Big Macintosh learns of it and it's mostly a big race to get to Applebloom before Tartarin does. Things go awry, Tartarin takes Applebloom as the stallion pays off his debt just in time
>Tartarin starts to use his powers to wreck havok on Ponyville, Celestia is called in and Tartarin convinces her to give up her own soul to save Applebloom and all of Ponyville
>He steals her tiara, aka her powers, and goes One Winged Angel, taking over Equestria
>Final fight ends up in a huge chase on the train tracks to Canterlot
>Tartarin gets run over by the god damn train and dies

Aaaand that's it, I guess. I didn't get any feedback, so I'm not sure if the story is going in a right direction or not. I'm imagining the character of Tartarin as a villain not quite on the scale of Discord, but more of Nightmare Moon or Chrysalis. If I had to, I would call him a cocktail mixing both Chrysalis, Bill Sykes, and Judge Doom.

As for Applebloom's friends, I've decided to call them Pollux and Castor. Both a guy and a girl. They're counterparts to the CMC, but with different personalities. Pollux is a hard, optimistic worker and will never give up, while Castor is sort of a cynic, although Applebloom's arrival lowers his pessimism. The stallion isn't all that important. He's just a scumbag.

Pic is related: It's what I imagine Tartarin to look like. Basically, an evil Zecora. It's not art, but it helps to have a visual representation of a scene when writing it. Although, truth be told, if I could draw, I would make it a comic.
>> No. 106592
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you seem to be overlooking a huge plot device used in several movies shows and book series's today. The main villain and main patriarch of the story tend to have a history together, which is often a tragic romance. My headcannon has become the comic series, Discordant, which I'm certain is the source of all this CelestiaxDiscord shipping. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9r_R1e3R9E
>> No. 106603
So I posted this in the other thread but got no responses...

Conversion Bureau from the point of view of an HLF insurgent. RAther than being a Saturday morning cartoon villian, I aim to present them as something more than this universe's stand-in for communist Nazi-Jews

Set up: Around 1/3rd of the first world (NA, Europe, parts of Asia) have been ponified. Although there is a lot of mixing in communities, there is a lot of tension growing as the only people still human are the ones who are negative to the idea of being turned (many people turned because friends/relatives had, domino effect and such) or are being annoyed by attitudes of the 'turned'. Eventually, a group of humans who resist the growing influence of Equestria eventually form into the HLF, especially after rumors of the PER doing... you know... stuff like hiding potion bombs in pinatas and such. This is a while into the conflict, so the HLF is known about, but propaganda has them painted as they do in many other fics. I aim to challenge that.

Basic story: Main character, Jack (better name?), rescues a scientist who worked on the original ponification serum, but he turns out to be a pony. This is important because, as opposed to former humans (often referred to as "turned"), they're basically humans in a pony body. So, Jack plans to find a way to somehow save humanity, such as making a humanization serum, making humans magic-proof, and other things like that. He succeeds partially (enchanting spell by the scientist), and infiltrates Equestria past the magical barrier. He comes back and forms a pro-human group among ponies ("Not Alone sub-universe part crossover) that eventually reaches the top, as in Princess Luna, who wishes to do something about the whole genocide thing. However, the fic ends as Jack is captured and Rainbow Dash and Luna are personally overseeing his ponification. Ending speech leaves some... 'dangerous' ideas in Rainbow's head, while Luna discretely nods her head in acknowledgement that she'll do her part in the plan.

Other facts:
-Turned are ghosts of their former selves, and lack many aspects of their personality, and are essentially new people ("When you fundamentally change the hardware but keep the software, somethin's bound to fuck up!"), but 'off'. In fact, the only emotions they are capable of only "positive" emotions. Things such as sadness or anger do not form, and depressing situations are barely met by batted eyes.
-Ponification serum is only effective when ingested or inhaled at first, but eventually is made able to turn on contact. In the beginning of the story, gas masks are enough but the characters are soon forced to wear full body suits (mental images being in line with Fallout's Ranger armor and WH40k's Death Korps of Krieg) to remain immune.
-As revealed by the scientist, the "humans don't have souls" thing is actually total horseshit to try and use fear to make humans convert. However, the lack of magic thing is totally legit.

So, thoughts?
>> No. 106607
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>Implying that plot device used in modern movies and novels is the sure thing between Celestia and Discord

It says in the show that Celestia and Luna rose up to him after he caused so much distress in Equestria. This doesn't mean they were tied together. It just means 'Bad guy, good guys rise up against bad guy'. Could they have been dating at one time? There's nothing in canon that contradicts this, but I think it's just the old fashioned story of good vs. evil. It makes sense that there's just a villain that naturally is opposed by a hero. Doesn't have to be an entire back story that intertwines them. If we simply change Discord to a female the entire theory just completely falls apart (Unless you say they were lesbian lovers. I'd have to stop you there, though.) There's nothing defined in this theory, and there is nothing to protract it, either. I just seem it more likely that it's just good vs. evil. I don't understand why there always has to be such a big plot twisting blah blah within that theme.

Megamind is a prime example of this, IMO. Even though Metro Man and Megamind knew each other since birth, it was just about good and evil. It wasn't because 'METRO MAN IS A JERK' (Even though that was some of Megamind's reasoning, but he was just the bad guy) And when Metro Man is gone, there just needed to be something opposing. Then when more evil rises up good rises up. It's just the natural order of things.
>> No. 106608
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I'm not very familiar with the Conversion Bureau, but after reading your summary, I'd have to say this:

I'd be careful about the Jew/ Nazi parallel; I've seen that blow up in a few people's faces without them really trying. (The internet being what it is.) It certainly sounds interesting, but it might be hard to pull off.
>> No. 106617
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For whatever reason, I always toyed with the idea that Discord was originally a king of a lost civilization that encompassed the Everfree, which would was much larger back in his day. The King of Equestria was a righteous stallion, but a complete bitch for his wife, the Queen, who was a huge ass tyrant that ruled with an iron hoof. Eventually, the Queen wants to expand for more power and decides to attack Discord's kingdom, which fails, but leaves both sides heavily devastated as a result.

Slowly, Discord, who created his own subjects and saw them die for their nation, loses his sanity until a second war is started. The King and Queen lead the final attack into his capitol, where they finally face off. Discord ends up killing them, but their deaths cause a massive surge of magic to destroy everything that was ever proof of his country, leaving behind a forest that grew in its place.

Because of the magic, Discord is transformed into his current state, loses his mind from having all of his subjects and nation wiped off the face of the Earth, and goes on a massive rampage until the daughters of the King and Queen stop him with the Elements. His magical energy still enchants the Everfree Forest, which runs under his domain and is slowly receding by the years, shrinking the influence over what was once his nation.

Not sure why I see it that way, but there's nothing more tragic than a fallen king, let alone one who's literally the last survivor of his nation.


Never read Conversion Bureau, but I like that idea. Make his last name Carver though, because it would make him three times more badass. Full-body suits, those being SEVA suits straight from Kiev.

Anyway, here's an idea: Pinkie gets a professorship at the Multi-Universal University of Cool, where she teaches PINK101, the beginner's class to parties and all things party-related. It would cross over with a bunch of other pop-culture characters, other universes, etc..
>> No. 106623
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I've always liked the idea that Discord is the last survivor of an ancient race, as are Celestia and Luna. The fallen king part fits nicely too, but my head cannon for Discord is heavily dictated by the comic series "Discordantly" by CosmicUnicorn (formerly CrappyUnicorn) on Deviantart, which I linked in my earlier post.

This is a cool idea nonetheless, I'd run with it.

I'm not implying anything, just informing you of a possibility. Discord and Celestia don't have to have been dating, but it's not an impossibility.
>> No. 106625
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It isn't, but the likelihood just seems low in my opinion. It suggests that Discord was ruling for quite a while before Luna and Celestia used the elements, which might have meant Discord was ruling even before they were born. Even if it wasn't that soon, I think it's easy to imagine that they didn't meet until during Discord's ruling, and Celestia falling for the Spirit of Chaos just seems unlikely in that context, IMO

>> No. 106645
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Now what race he was is the problem. I considered humans, because there's obviously a lot of human influence in pony culture, such as architecture (Greek-style buildings), fashion (Fluttershy mentions French something-or-other), and other bullshit that I can't think of off the top of my head. But it seems a lot of people tend to hate on that idea, usually.

Also, a minotaur is half-human, so there's also that as some kind of evidence that there was some human-like presence at one point, unless the FiM team just picked that race for the hell of it and didn't consider it that way.

One more thing, where did you get a head cannon? I didn't even know they made those.
>> No. 106648
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Same place I got mine

In my insane head.
>> No. 106649
Hey Stripes,
>where to set

Names are just names. You use them to summon the images and ideas the reader already has, or to store images and ideas for later use. So if you set in Trottingham, you're working just as hard as if you're setting in a town of your own design, but with the risk that S3 can come along and change everything.

The good news is that the good readers won't really care if that happens, so use the name "Trottingham" if you like the sound.

I'm not a huge Lovecraft fan (though I like lovecraftian elements), I'll give it a shot, though.

They're generally Idea stories with frustrated resolution. An Idea story gradually increases understanding of something set in stone from the beginning of the story. It's most often a past event, but it can also be something ongoing (and unstoppable), a rule*, a prophecy, a stable time loop...

(*"Beyond the Wall" by Filler is a really good example, short, rather lovecraftian, and simple enough to take apart and imitate.)

The frustrated resolution means the main character eventually gives up their quest for understanding for a good reason. Lovecraft, so perhaps they've gone too sane ("screw this, I don't want to know any more") or too insane ("Har affty arockyw!") to pursue their quest anymore.

So to do pony lovecraft stuff:

What wouldn't pastel horses want to know more about?
A specific pastel horse (unicorn/peg/earth filly/colt/mare/stallion) ? Why?
Why are they curious in the first place?
What do they do to feed their curiosity?
What goes wrong as they do?
Can they fix it?
>> No. 106650
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I figure Draconequus is a good enough classification, perhaps there were others like him, although not quite as malformed. as for my head cannon, I used to work in a metal shop. I'm good friends with the owner and I asked him to make it for me. It's pretty awesome if I do say so myself, which I do.
>> No. 106691
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I entered your name into the Wu-Tang Name Generator and got something fitting in return.


I feel like a Draq2fijths is a completely unique species though, only to Discord. I can't see a whole nation of them flying around, doing crazy ass shit and dicking around all day.
>> No. 106692
Seems legit.
>> No. 106702
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I've brought this up in other Story Forge threads and I still haven't shaken the idea.

Friendship: The Gathering.

I want to write an AU in which Twilight doesn't just have the spark of magic that binds close friends--she has a Planeswalker spark. It ignites when she loses her friends in s2e2, and takes her to I dunno somewhere exotic and instantly recognizable like (former) Mirrodin or Ravnica. She tries to get home, but seeing as she's never drawn mana before, she can't walk the planes without help from... Lilianna? Jace? Gideon? Someone.

She then returns to Equestria-- with her tutor in tow along with Chandra because fuck you Chandra's my favorite, and they carve a swath of bloody vengeance against some kind of chaos minions that are monstrous enough so that they can be slaughtered by the hundreds without it being too grimdark. The other Planeswalkers must learn to use Equestria's particular brand of mana (the ponies don't draw mana, so the Walkers' magic will probably be different somehow).

They save the other five ponies, and harness the power of the Elements to not just turn Discord to stone, but banish him to the Blind Eternities where he will spend eternity floating in the madness-inducing void-- if he isn't simply vaporized.

The thing is, I've never read a book with Chandra or Gideon or Liliana or really any of the planeswalkers in them. I've only picked at one or two; one was starring Kamahl and the other was Tezzeret and Jace. I don't know these characters. I need help. Even if that's as simple as just talking to someone about the characters.
>> No. 106703
I might be able to help. I've read Agents of Artifice, The Purifying Fire, and Test of Metal, along with the Zendikar and Alara block books. (The latter two suck, and the Zendikar author's prose is godlessly awful. You can find much better characterization on FiMFiction.net.)

Though, I think the webcomics will help you quite a bit. Their collective characterizations are much more consistent than any of the novels. (Also, pictures! Can't go wrong with that.) http://www.wizards.com/magic/multiverse/planeswalkers.aspx?x=mtg/multiverse/webcomics/main
>> No. 106704
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I'm very slowly catching up and trying to update. And oh yeah, I claimed something in TTG and said I'd be done by Wednesday, and I have work early tomorrow morning again.

I'm no longer keeping track of who has written the first response in the spreadsheet because (1) it's extra work for me; (2) I've been noticing posts with responses like this here >>106152, which look just like an attempt to be credited with more responses yet minimum thought/effort put into feedback for each thing it responds to; (3) I get the impression no one ever looks at the spreadsheet, so I am doubting the utility in knowing who wrote what.

I suppose that since Filler wrote in the OP "if you want feedback on your idea" next to the form I should just let the whole feedback feature be for people who actually want feedback enough to submit it and help me help everyone help them.

'Nuff said.
>> No. 106709
If you've got a story idea of some sort, consider putting the basics of the idea in the subject field. That's what it's for.
>> No. 106787
Opens with a random Mary-Sue-esque character is screwing around in Ponyville,doing the usual stuff: breaking the fourth wall with Pinkie, sympathizing with Twilight that they're socially awkward like she is (and having a conversation that looks like someone reworded a Wikipedia article), beating R.D. at a race, seducing falling under circumstances with Fluttershy, telling Rarity off, slipping Spike some gems behind Twilight's back, and interacting with the background characters in a similar fashion. Cut to Celestia, who has sensed a disturbance in her world. She goes to find the resident Mary Sue (name undetermined, will be referred to as "J" for the time being), only to find him/her playing, say, Pokemon, with Luna. And beating her soundly despite Luna using the Wonderguard-SkillSwap-Sableye "strategy." Celestia informs them of the issue, and J uses their own 4th-wall powers to quickly get to Ponyville, where a battle of epic proportions takes place.

Current problems: I can't quite think of a good ending, and it's been a while since I've read a good epic battle description, so that suffers as well. Also, the powers and appearances of both Mary Sues are as of yet undetermined.
>> No. 106843
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(2) I've been noticing posts with responses like this here >>106152, which look just like an attempt to be credited with more responses yet minimum thought/effort put into feedback for each thing it responds to.

Er, no. I was trying to give at least some thought to writers that would otherwise not get anything or much. You make it sound like I was trying to be all popular on /fic/ or something else asinine.

Would you rather no one except Ion, Minty, and a select few 'well known' others say their thoughts, or have a community effort to try and help people out? Because the former is how these tend to work out now; just people stopping in and expecting something for nothing. Sorry for following >>106140's advice:
>From what I can gather from this thread, posters need to contribute to others ideas instead of just piling theirs over them.

Yeah, I started a sentence with "because". Deal.
>> No. 106915
(x-post from another thread, I was referred here when inquiring about this concept)
Okay, so this is the idea that i've come up with for an HiE story. Let me know if this would be readable.
Background preface:

So there's a region of human nations to the west of Equestria called the Hominian Empire (or just Hominia). Five or six human nations that have basically been fighting for millenia and for a brief few decades have enjoyed tenuous peace under the banner of an emperor.

They're at about the cultural and technological level of pre-WW1 Europe, and they have magical technology that runs off of some sort of magical fuel source (oil is made from fossils, this stuff could be made from fossils of magical animals). Celestia gave the original human kings magic hundreds of years ago, and all of them believe that the visit was from a god, so most humans worship Celestia (of course they think she is a god, not a pony.)

Being humans, the imperials used to enslave ponies to use as horses, but the longer the ponies are away from Equestria, the stupider and more horse-like they get. However, after lots of wars with the Equestrians, they gave up enslaving ponies and started enslaving zebras from overseas colonies in Zebrica. (I figure this could be why Zecora is in Equestria, she escaped from slavery into the Everfree or something)


I see the story being that during the events of S1E1& 2, anti-sun church cultists summon Discord to help Nightmare Moon in defeating Celestia (crazy cultists). He then sends a decoy spirit of himself to Equestria (S2E1&2) to inform Celestia that he has returned. From there Discord just does his own thing, and incites some of the archdukes in several of the subordinate kingdoms into staging a coup, culminating in the assassination of the emperor, much like Franz Ferdinand. The empire is plunged into civil war and the emperor's son flees for his life with his bodyguard to the south into Equestria. Of course, no humans have entered the land since the last war...
I was thinking he could run into a BP. Some pony that really nothing happens to. Maybe Lyra because of the whole humans thing (pic related).
Throw a subplot in about a Griffon invasion from the north, maybe dragons from the south, all while Discord slowly usurps the imperial throne to wage war against Celestia.
Then go from there with it.

Would y'all consider that to be a worthy HiE? Or is it too much?
>> No. 106939
Blimey, that's complex. I don't believe I've seen anything like that before. Espionage and intrigue ho! If you think you can keep your story straight, then by all means, go for it!

Now for some suggestions. I'm not sure how well the enslaving ponies angle would work, though. Wouldn't that prompt some kind of intervention from Celestia? But to counter that, here's a suggestion. The emperor's son or the bodyguard could not believe in the religion of the Empire, prompting a crisis of faith when they enter Equestria. Crises of faith are fun.
>> No. 106971
It would probably lose my interest within a few thousand words of the start. It's not because you have anything bad there, it's the lack of the very first thing you need for a story: some character who's unhappy about something.

The setting feels over-complicated: it has a lot of details (which is fine), but not a single theme that abstracts it all (which you need). Fallout: Equestria very much runs on its very detailed setting, but you can abstract it easily enough:

> Ponies fight total war, destroy their home, still life goes on, horrible and beautiful.

I don't see that unity yet. Keep looking for it. What's the story about?
>> No. 106986
You might want to simplify the plot first, then slowly build off of it. After giving the background information of the new nations, merge into the recent past of the emperor's son. When he gets to Equestria, you should keep in mind that in your universe, humans probably aren't respected by ponies, considering the war and slavery thing.
Before you get to the Griffin/dragon/Discord invasion thing, you may want to get your character established within the pony society, wherever he settles in the hierarchy, and perhaps he overhears it. Alternatively, perhaps he and his bodyguard are separated, but you keep track of what each is doing: the bodyguard might find the dragons while the son comes across the griffins. Otherwise, it might seem sort of contrived that the story switches suddenly to the invading front.

Still, that is an interesting world you've painted there, and it could support quite a few creative stories, so in the (hopefully) unlikely case that your emperor's son plot doesn't quite pan out, you could still use the same setting, but with different characters and conflicts.
>> No. 107004
File 133978640797.jpg - (30.25KB , 300x433 , JadakisssongPics1j35Bug2kS7J3M.jpg )
Speaking of HiE's where the humans were already there, I had this idea where a region called the Ancient East existed past a huge mountain range that no one for thousands of years dared to cross. On the Western side of it is Equestria and all those other countries, whereas the Eastern side has four different human nations that were fractured by religious differences and war.

Essentially, the idea is that these humans follow what remains of ancient Greek/Other mythology, in some kind of alternate universe where some of the deities actually once existed . For example, the strongest and most hated nation (by other nations) was the one who followed Apollo as their god. The second strongest was a bit farther East, that one being the one who worshiped Prometheus instead. The third was a sort of desert-wander/Bedouin type of country that worshiped the Moon, but did so peacefully and without any sort of retaliation from anyone. The last isn't very well-known at all and resides on the highest mountains in the land, making them perfectly secluded from the rest of the world.

Anyway, backstory time. The followers of Apollo are at war with the Prometheans and Wanderers, who formed a pact due to them being less capable without each other because the Apolloets see the other nations as blasphemous cancers that need to be expunged in order to fully satisfy their god. In reality, none of the gods are even alive anymore and were killed by Celestia's parents, who eventually formed the mountains to keep the eternal war away from Equestria. Tech-wise, swords and shit; Population-wise, varies, but Apollo's has roughly a few hundred thousand, making them a large force in comparison to the others.

So, the followers of Apollo (thinking about just naming the damn country Solaire) send their champion to the West as a means to find more allies. He crosses the mountain range, something no mortal has done, and travels to Canterlot. The reasoning being so is because the sun shines brightest there, and as devout follower, he's able to determine where the most sun-rays hit, that being the Princess of the Sun lives. Essentially, he manages to meet Celestia (the guards think he's some sort of reincarnation of the old King because of his severe love for the sun to the point where he has it tattooed on a fair amount of his body, like Cutie Marks) and explains his situation.

Because he glorifies the hell out of her and his nation, making them seem righteous against the other nations, she agrees to help him and offers a pact. They ally up and Celestia finds a way to build a portal that allows passage over the mountain range so she can let troops in as well.

Skip ahead, a follower of Prometheus attempts the same same thing without realizing what was going on in Canterlot. He eventually ends up there while the champion and Celestia go to meet the rest of Solaire, who worship her as a reincarnation of Apollo. The Promethean finds Luna instead and explains his situation, that one being the real one of Solaire being completely insane in trying to take innocent lives without reason. Same shit happens with these two that happened with the others, and Luna agrees to help the struggling human nations.

So, to wrap all of this big ass wall of text into something short, I'll say this: Humans are at war due to religious reasons, followers of Apollo worship Celestia as a god, Luna is worshipped by the Wanderers and well-liked among the Prometheans, and both sisters are working against each other without realizing it. While all that is happening, Cadence is trying to run Equestria with the help of Shining. Not sure how it would go from there, but it's been bugging me for the past week to get it down before I forget it. I think that's basically the gist of it, in a really long ass post.
>> No. 107042
The way I have it now, there were originally five human kingdoms, and one of them, the one that directly bordered Equestria, was an old-south sort of society, one that relied very heavily on slave labor from ponies hundreds of years before the story starts.
After years of failed diplomacy, Celestia declares war on the Empire and razes the slave kingdom to the ground, using her magic to transform the land into the Everfree Forest. She then fills it with horrible monsters then leaves it be as a sort of no man's land buffer zone between the two peoples.

I was going to have the prince be the second of the emperor's sons, and while his older brother has been being prepped to be either king or emperor for years, he has been coddled and kept hidden in the palace, giving him a deep sense of uselessness. His father ignores him, his mother died from an illness some years ago, and his brother treats him like shit. Also, all human kings and members of the royal line are magic users, but he doesn't seem to have the gene to add to things (Originally thousands of years ago human rulers were magic-wielding angels, much like how alicorns are the rulers of ponies). I think that the catalyst of the story was going to be the assassination of the emperor and crown prince at some sort of political rally, a rally that the second prince had begged to go to but his father had forbidden himto attend. The actual outcome of the event isn't broken to him until after he escapes from the capital, and he's honestly unsure of whether to be happy or sad.

I was thinking that for the subplots I would switch the POV to that of another member of the human royalty. Maybe a princess of the northern kingdom or a soldier in the south or something.
>> No. 107182
File 133987701594.png - (221.82KB , 575x387 , lucid-dreaming-inception-totem.png )
I am not sure if this sort of thing is welcome in this thread, but I don't see any other active threads that would be any more suitable.

As a warning, some of you might want to get out your microscopes for this one.

How does a story plant an idea into the reader's head? Y'know what I mean? Some stories not all, but some are really good at making the reader think; they manage to plant an idea into the reader's mind. In some cases, the idea is just a side-effect, a by-product even, like when a super-analytical person reads a story, picks it apart like a puzzle, and learns something new as a result. But in other cases, the planting of that idea is done on purpose, and it is difficult to avoid. In fact, the idea presented in the story is so prominent that it almost suggests the author wrote the story for the sole purpose of planting that idea into the mind of his audience. Some prime examples of this include The Matrix, which proposed the idea that our entire world is an illusion, and A Few Good Men, which questions the morality of soldiers being legally required to obey all orders given to them by their superiors. Of course, these two do not even skim the tip of the iceberg.

So my question is, how is it done? How does a story successfully plant an idea into the reader's mind?

You are free to use any references that you wish, as long as they are relevant.
>> No. 107192
>I am not sure if this sort of thing is welcome in this thread, but I don't see any other active threads that would be any more suitable.

You could have just made a new thread.

Nothing wrong with that.

New topic, new thread.
>> No. 107222
File 133989109209.png - (169.19KB , 1000x800 , rarity_is_not_amused__by_dharthez-d53kdme.png )
I would, but....

>Posting Rules
>Do not make a thread for the sole purpose of:
>A story idea or asking about how to write a story. Instead, use the Story Forge (story idea general)

Rarity won't let me.
>> No. 107227
Oh well. Personally, I think it's a mixture of the planning and emotion an author places in the story. And the subject that their writing about should be something that wasn't touched deeply at the time or simply not acknowledged in a sense. (You know, the things people assume or don't talk about.)
>> No. 107298
File 133991462819.jpg - (728.64KB , 1984x1488 , biggy-pac-mural.jpg )
Are you all ready for the greatest idea ever? No? Too goddamn bad.

Eazy E, Tupac, Biggie, and Big L all faked their deaths to escape Suge Knight, the human Discord. They pooled all of their funds together to create a portal to Equestria, which subsequently fell apart and shit. Then the beef starts.

Ponies start choosing sides! It's a East/West Coast rap war all over again! Celestia sides with the East Coast while Luna goes with Biggie and Big L. Shit starts flying and the competition gets fiercer every single day.

Suddenly, a challenger appears! The entirety of Young Money Cash Money Billionaires arrives as well and both original sides are forced to team up in order to defeat those wack ass niggas.

Anyway, you can sit and calm down now after reading the greatest idea ever. Have a nap and some tea.
>> No. 107322
> The entirety of Young Money Cash Money Billionaires arrives as well and both original sides are forced to team up in order to defeat those wack ass niggas.
> to defeat those wack ass niggas.
> wack ass niggas
> niggas


In all seriousness, this sounds like a fantastic trollfic. But, as always, I'm going to work under the assumption that you were being serious. I can't help but think that the whole "Princesses being forced to choose opposing sides" thing's been done to death already. Here's a counter-proposal. They're stone cold gangsters, right? Set the story in Manehattan or somesuch, and make it about a pony gang war. That'd be kinda cool. Personally, I kind of like Nicki Minage of the Young Money camp, so I'm staying the fuck out of your way.
>> No. 107358
File 133995674484.jpg - (67.07KB , 617x413 , nickiMinaj_113039588-617x413.jpg )

Loving and tolerating is for the geeks, because most problems can be settled with that chrome and metal shit anyway.

Moving on though, don't get me wrong about Nicki, because I absolutely adore her. She's an artistic genius in my eyes, but she lacks proper appreciation. Originally, I was going to do a Rapper in Equestria fic called "Nicki's Night Out", but seeing as though my last RiE got seriously hated on, I might just stick with this idea.

But thanks for the idea, here, have a token of my appreciation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P61FwDmOQkQ
>> No. 107525
Tupac wailing on Limp Bizkit...
if this becomes a fic,
I will read it online,
then print out a copy of it,
then shred the copy,
then roll up the shredded copy,
then smoke it.
Then read it online again.
>> No. 107554
File 133998929499.png - (475.00KB , 750x561 , No Brakes.png )
Again, a bunch of popular bronies get a plushy of their OC, and after touching it, they slowly turn into their OC over the course of a few days or weeks. Hilarity ensues, and shit happens.
>> No. 107564
File 133999116290.jpg - (20.71KB , 400x480 , tupacwut.jpg )

The fuck is a Limp Bizkit? Is that the shit they use to make pancakes and stuff?
>> No. 107572

>Wake up
>Check the mail
>There's a package, which is strange because the stuff I ordered off amazon isn't supposed to be here for a few more days
>Open it
>What the fuck?
>It's a well made plush of the OC I made to shitpost on /mlp/
"This is fucked up, I just moved, who even has my address?"
>In the box there's a card with a few words
>"Keep it up, we'll be seeing you soon"
>Well, that's not ominous as hell or anything
>It's decently sized, it's fairly accurate and it's actually pretty cuddly
>Leave it on the desk and get ready for work
>> No. 107576
Are you familiar with Latin American writers? There is one story which you might find useful for this.
>> No. 107581
>Get off work, stop by the store to pick up something to make for dinner
>Figure I'll make something different, pick up some vegetables and stuff to make a salad
>Watch some TV, eat some dinner, drink some wine, go to bed
>Can't sleep, spend a half hour tossing and turning
>Fuck this, I'm going for a jog
>Light jog turns into legitimate running
>Fuck yeah, sprinting down the hill that leads to my apartment
>Smoke some pot, take a shower, grab the new toy and hop in to bed
>Fall asleep instantly
>Dreams of flying, fuck yeah
>> No. 107590

I think I saw your first Rapper in Equestria fic. I ignored it because... it was in the fimfic feature box and all kinds of stupid shit makes it into the EQD feature box.

If I see another Rapper in Equestria fic, though, I will confirm that it's you, then unconditionally upclop and favorite it.
>> No. 107591
File 133999665164.jpg - (86.10KB , 450x569 , DMX2.jpg )
Right, right, now guys, quick question. Would it be plausible to say that all Equestrians have a sort of gland within them that forces them to participate in singing if somepony engages in song? It seems to happen within the show a few times, if I remember right. I'm asking because this scene won't have the same effect for me and will look sort of cheesy if I'm just making bullshit up.

Part of the scene in question:

One of the guards unlocked the cell door quickly, followed by all three rushing inside. The dark human popped out from beneath the metal table and started yelling some obscene form of song. Celestia's heart dropped near instantly. It was a little known fact, but Equestrians contained a gland that forced them to engage in song if one started singing, with the Equestrians going along in every case.


One of her guards blurted out, "GET IT ON THE FLOOR!"

"WHAT!" She screamed.



Celestia attempted to hold in her voice to no avail, "BOUNCE TO THIS MOTHERFUCKER!"

"FREAK TO THIS MOTHERFUCKER!" a guard yelled a moment later.

The human grinned from behind the table, "Once again, it's the darker nigga! Hit or spark a nigga, break apart a nigga!"

A deep scowl cut across the second guard's face, "But the dog is bigger, under stress! So unless you're wanting to bless to the chest!"

"These slugs from his liver rest, REST! Or the pump'll put a hurt on a nigga!" Celestia continued, extremely perplexed by what she was singing.

"DUMB SEX, motherfucker feeding dirt on a nigga! My hands stay dirty, cause I play dirty the mob way!" The human began some sort of dance, forcing the ponies to join in as well.

Celestia nearly screamed out in agony at the situation she was in. It was beyond horrific and she knew she wouldn't last much longer at this rate. Still, she had to remain strong, for all of Equestria's sake.

As you can see, Celestia and two of her guards were forced to sing along with a song. This is for a semi-serious fic, just to clarify. Anyways, I'm wondering if, given what happens in the show when somepony sings, could this be possible?
>> No. 107592
File 133999701997.jpg - (87.99KB , 640x480 , gucciburr.jpg )

I don't think mine ever got in the feature box. Hell, it's got so many thumb-downs that it's a damn shame. Funny as hell how most people didn't even bother reading it though.

This would be it, if you're thinking of the right one: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/21261/Gucci%27s-Day-Out
>> No. 107597

I feel like this would be better if it's a really stupidly mainstream song that even people who don't like rap would know. I only followed this for the first three lines, though don't get me wrong I was laughing the whole time.

If you're gonna do this, you can do over-the-top or you can try to deadpan it-- I think both approaches will be good.
>> No. 107599
File 133999870538.jpg - (17.66KB , 401x271 , cameljayz.jpg )

Problem is, I don't know any songs that would have that same "wow factor" as this one. If you have any suggestions, toss one over here.
>> No. 107646
File 134001887680.jpg - (14.27KB , 50x50 , Gundam-Eye 5050.jpg )
I thought this idea up recently but it's something that I just can't bring myself to write since the premise and overall idea doesn't appeal to me. but I can't control my own creativity sometimes and I hate to see this go to waste so anypony can feel free to use this idea:

the idea builds off the premise of "waiting". The world has ended and the planet is nothing but a barren desert with no weather, no landmarks, and no life save for Celestia and Luna, who pass their time sleeping, and the Mane Six who are sustained by the Elements of Harmony.

Despite millenia of finding nothing, the mane six remain convinced that somethign must be out there, somewhere, however because everything looks the same Twilight long ago cast a mind linking spell that allows them to stay in mental contact and find each other no matter where they are as they all wander the vast seemingly endless desert that was once a planet.

Eventually, Twilight discovers that because of all the magic and energy in the world that it should never have ended. the magic of the world should have allowed this world and its celestia bodies to survive for eternity as long as the princesses and the magic was sustained, but something enforced the entropy on the planet that led to its barren state: the Elements of Harmony.

The Elements of Harmony were the ultimate magic of order, keeping chaos from reigning and keeping thigns in order, but they always absorbed chaos to keep things more orderly until things reached a state of perfect order: the wasteland of nothingness. Ironically Discord, despite questionable methods, was trying to save the world form entropy by adding powerful doses of chaos to the world, unfortunately his methods made him a threat that had to be contained; his mind rape of the mane six was an attempt to shut down the elements and remove their influence.

Twilight gathers her five friends in the place where Luna and Celestia are sleeping and manage to wake them. Once the princesses are awake, Twilight explains then executes her plan with her friends: they use the power of the elements to turn themselves into statues, sealing the power of the elements withing themselves for eternity so that their power will never rob the world of the ability to change again.

Millions of years later, the mane six are still the centerpiece of athe sculpture garden and they are known as heroes who gave everything to ensure the survival of all life. Luna, Celestia and Discord discuss what became of their minds once the spell was cast: are they "dead" (their minds losing all conciousness), are they locked in personal astral planes to keep the elemtns contained? or did their mind link allow them a continued existance with each other so they can observe but not interact with the rest of the new world?

OK, idea over.

As much as a couple friends have said they liked this idea, it's just not my thing and while I would love to see it written, I just can't do it, I don't like the premise much in my mind and I doubt I could convincingly or willingly write such a downtrodden story about the end of the world and the ultimate sacrifice.

Anyone can use this I have no intention of putting it into a story.
>> No. 107701

"As [brony's name here] awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, (s)he found him/herself transformed in his/her bed into a pony."

I would read the fuck out of a story that used that as its opening line.
>> No. 107707
>> No. 107723
Hi guys!

Here's a story idea (I don't know if anyone's suggested it yet, or if it has been done already) that I don't want to write, but I would like to see someone else here write.

Another awry transportation spell results in the Mane Six being transported to Earth, where they are transformed into real horses. They are scattered and put to work in situations that they are most suited for:

Pinkie Pie would work in a circus.

Fluttershy would work as one of those theraputic horses that disabled people ride.

Rarity could either be a dressage pony or work as a horse actress. I think either one could work.

Rainbow Dash would be a race horse.

Applejack would work on a cattle ranch.

Twilight... I don't know about Twilight. The best I could think of is her becoming the pet of some family who has a child who likes to read.

They are treated well and enjoy what they do, but they yearn to go back home.

Enter Princess Celestia. After learning about what happened to her pupil, she (and perhaps some other characters, canon or OC) goes to Earth to rescue her and her friends. However, she will find it difficult, as she cannot rely on physical appearance to identify the six lost ponies.

What do you guys think?
>> No. 107766
Interesting concept, but it would have to be a sprawling, thousand page epic to comprehensively explain itself, otherwise you'd have a thousand "oh lol I was thinking I was going to have to look across the entire damn globe to find you applejack, thank goodness you happened to be bucking that tree a few feet away from me" moments
>> No. 107782
File 134007710615.jpg - (101.08KB , 444x337 , gucci-mane-high-v2.jpg )
Guys, I have terrible news. I've run out of material for my Gucci Mane in Equestria fic, and I can't think of anything else to write for it. It's too early to introduce either Discord or the Diamond Dogs, and at this point, I got him rolling with Gilda and Derpy as a group.

So, any ideas?
>> No. 107783

Zecora and her posse, Canter D.M.C.
>> No. 107792
Speaking of which, has anyone written a story where Zecora becomes a rapper? Because someone should totally do that.
>> No. 107793
I'm not sure I understand what you mean...
>> No. 107797
File 134008267705.jpg - (21.42KB , 500x375 , gucci-walk.jpg )

Nigga, that's just crazy enough to work. Zecora as a rapper along side: "PONIES HAVE THE GALL TO PRAY AND PRAY FOR MY DOWNFALL!" I was considering having Zecora as a secret rapper, but with Canter D.M.C., it'll be perfect.


>> No. 107820
Straight out of Clopton: The Zecora Chronicles

Zecora is having tea with Fluttershy one day when the CMC come over. Zecora says hello to them and the girls stop and have tea with them. After a while, Scootaloo says to Zecora that she should be a rapper. Zecora decides to take her up on her comment and goes to Manehattan to become a part of the rap underground. She rises to the top quickly thanks to her natural rhyming talent, but when her manager tries to re-brand her as a pop idol, she has to choose between money and sticking to who she is.

Oh, and there totally have to be written-in rap lyrics of her songs.
>> No. 107827
This idea is bestidea.
>> No. 107838
File 134012554901.jpg - (119.02KB , 900x900 , scars_dance.jpg )
Alright, now, I've been writing a STALKER crossover and I'm introducing an older-gen villain for one chapter, who ultimately gets killed by everyone's favorite Merc. I'm not sure how many people on here are even familiar with this series, but I mainly need some ideas for what's to happen with the villain.

So, Tirek's grave is disturbed by mass-amounts of Noospheric energy, bringing him back to life like any other humanoid-type thing. He sees "You-Know-Who" in the sewers as a brain-washed Monolithian and gets the greatest idea ever: Assume position as their god and bring the rest of the faction over to completely obliterate Equestria.

Of course, Celestia, Luna, and a shit ton of guards are already investigating into the mutants that have been hunting in the Canterlot sewers up until they meet said Mercenary fighting off a horde of snorks. He pretty much wipes out the mutants and Tirek shows up to nab the Merc while taunting the Princesses. But he takes too long and a blowout from the Zone, enters through a Space Bubble (the same one that allowed the mutants through). The Merc, having been Marked by the Zone and capable of surviving a blowout, is pumped with godly amounts of Noospheric energy.

Now, at this point, the Merc essentially loses his mind and starts attacking the thing that resembles what he's been programmed to kill (other humans), that being the centaur Tirek.

What I need to know is what powers other than that stupid ass little bag he keeps does Tirek have? I never watched that movie and I really don't plan on it either. What would it take to effectively kill him given that the Merc's equipment consists of a Vintar, a knife, an exoskeleton, and a few artifacts? I'm not sure how a sort of devil-like figure fares against bullets or grenades, so I need opinions on how I should go about with this.
>> No. 107847
I think the most important part of any story to plant an idea is the end. I mean the ending is that last part that the audience reads so you really need to get that right if that makes sense...?
>> No. 107874
File 134015739939.jpg - (30.64KB , 600x378 , mlp high spike.jpg )
so i posted this a earlier today in /oat/, and someponies thought it may have the potential for a fic. the following is the aforementioned post:

"i always wondered why Applejack and Rarity aren't better friends than they are.

here's my reasoning: Applejack and Rarity have likely spent the majority of their lives in Ponyville; Applejack because of her family's farm, and Rarity, because of her family (they take care of Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Belle goes to ponyville school, Rarity's shop is likely located in Ponyville so she can be close to her family); and since Applejack and Rarity are presumably about the same age (within a year or so) they would have gone to school together when they were young. now, the way i see it, Rarity's predesignation towards being popular and well liked, as well as being generous, would have made her one of the popular fillies in school; while Applejack's loyalty, her affinity for freidnship in general, and the fact that i figure she would have been one of the fillies who knew everypony, and was known by everypony in her class would have made it nigh impossible for the two of them not to know one another in school; and as such, they should probably have been good friends for many years before Twilight's arrival, despite their disagreeances."

link to original thread: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/oat/res/38090661.html
>> No. 107902
Well, yes. You're a little fuzzy, but I think that I get jist of what you're saying.
>> No. 107903
Do you think that the morality of military law has never been discussed before A Few Good Men was released?
>> No. 107912
File 134017691717.jpg - (7.49KB , 248x203 , trixie is at least an anti hero.jpg )
Here's an idea based off a tv show I have only recently discovered. After having her caravan destroyed Trixie discovers the idea of Karma (or the pony equivalent. Karmare?) and decides her bad luck was due to her excessive boasting and resolves that the only way to keep worse things from happening to her is to formally apologize to everypony she humiliated and help them with their current problems. To supplement for the lack of a conclusion on the show I'd stop after helping all of the Main 6 she humiliated ending with Twilight and moving on to the numerous other ponies she had done the same to in other cities across Equestria. Just a thought.
>> No. 108009
I think that a crossover between 101 Deeds for Eddie McDowel and My Name is Earl would work better.
>> No. 108015
File 134023824467.jpg - (15.49KB , 400x286 , Eazy-E32.jpg )
Ight, I got an idea and I need an opinion on it. It's a one-shot involving Eazy Muthafuckin' E and Doctor Whooves.

So, Eazy fakes his death and uses his superior gangster powers to enter Equestria to come face to face with the Doctor he hates the most (not Dre). To finally finish this, he disses the hell outta Doctor Whooves and leaves him a shell of his former self, that is, until he picks himself up and challenges Eazy to a rap battle.

It ends with the universe suffering a meltdown.

What do you niggas think?
>> No. 108019
File 134024074684.jpg - (5.70KB , 225x225 , derpy again.jpg )
I cant really tell if your saying that the two work as well as a Broccoli Mcflurrie or Coke and Dr. Pepper though.
>> No. 108023
So let me get my facts right, Rarity is related to Starswirl, somehow manages to kill Celestia and becomes a Tyrant. Pinkie Pie swoops in, frames Luna for somehow orchestrating Celestia's murder and mindcontrolled Rarity who she discreetly murders. She then places Fluttershy as her patsy and avatar while controlling and stringing along the political scene as the Princess of the Fading Sun because no one knows when Celestia's Sun will stop circling the earth and die.

Rainbow Dash knows the Truth and fled Equestria after Pinkie Pie attempts to assassinate her. Twilight is lied to at every turn but Pinkie Pie can't persuade her not to go after Rainbow Dash. And so she discreetly encourages Earth ponies to hate unicorns and creates a psudo-rebellion group of Earth Ponies to target powerful unicorns. Applejack, convinced by Pinkie's words wields the rebellion at home while sending a group of trackers after Twilight.

Meanwhile, Luna, Cadence and Blueblood hide with the Changlings due to Blueblood's ability to seduce any pony he meets and Cadence's power of Love while trying to come up with a way to stop Pinkie's reign. It's been made obvious if they ever were to return, they would be used in a series of experiments to make earth ponies alicorns. And with them, they have Celestia's body, though cold and lifeless, her heart still beats.

And Spike is Twilight's Wings as she searches the world for Rainbow Dash.

Woo. I got the idea out of my system. Anyone take it before I am forced to write it out of compulsion and never finish it.
>> No. 108139
Okay so umm... I help admin a roleplay site where we do have this original RP (our own story, etc.) Well in this RP that's Scifi/Fantasy and heavily magic and tech based, we just had an event that happens every something years where for three entire days magic is 'eclipsed' from all of existence. Like a natural occurring anti-magic field.. Only something went wrong with existence and it's lasting longer than ever.

Well.. while that's happening I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if Equestria ever suffered the same thing? Both Pegasi and Unicorn ponies rely heavily on magic. And the princesses cannot change the day without it. Three days with it would be hell enough, muchless any longer.

I'd like to write that but I don't know where to start? Like what should lead up to it that hasn't already been done in the everday life of the ponies? So far I have...

-Twilight comes back from something (a party or some everyday thing they were doing.)

-It's getting late and Twilight thinks she should write to Princess Celestia and is too tired and finally decides she'll do it first thing in the morning.

-Something strange happens as it timeskips to late in the night and Discord is released, he laughs at this and attempt to start chaos once again but finds when he snaps his fingers nothing happens like before...He finds this odd and lurks within the castle to find out the source.

-We find all of the castle in a frenzy as both Celestia and Luna are lying on the ground powerless, Tia in her pink mane and Luna in her powerless s1 form. Celestia is worried that without her magic she will not be able to raise the sun...
Luna saying that this is just what Nightmare Moon would have wanted, the both of them dreading the outcome.

...I dunno what to do after this or what Twilight was originally coming back from. I would think Discord would go into Ponyville or they would discover him spying or SOMETHING, but I'm out of ideas.

Can anyone help? (Without stealing the idea.)
>> No. 108280
So I had an idea for a fic that takes place a bit in the future, where the mane 6 are young adults and characters like the CMC are as old as the current mane 6.

Anyway, the idea would be that after the Cadence fiasco and being blasted far away, Queen Chrysalis suffered many injuries and died. Her four sons are majorly pissed, especially one.

The youngest one is a bit of a child - he's not a brat and generally sympathizes with those around him. When it comes to his enemies, he'll be ruthless.

The oldest is a brat. He'll do anything to bring down anyone, whether it be his allies (he doesn't have friends) or his enemies.

The third one is essentially the villain. After Chrysalis died and he found out he wasn't to herit the crown, he threw a pissy fit and decided to go on a full-out war against the ponies - a bit for killing his mother, although he disliked her, but especially for two reasons.
One, to prove he's better than his mother was, and two, to gain the people's trust back so he can be king. He is extremely irritable and crabby.

And finally, the second one is one of the heroes. He wants nothing but peace between the changelings and the ponies, and even falls in love with a pony at some point. Of course, the war does little to help them be together.

So basically, Romeo & Juliet with ponies and changelings.
>> No. 108290
File 134049173596.jpg - (6.59KB , 184x184 , Discord is Pleased.jpg )
Some of you may be aware of a video game released two days ago entitled "Quantum Conundrum." In this game, you are given guidance through a series of scientific puzzles by the voice of your mad scientist uncle, Professor Quadwrangle. It's in the same vein as Portal, the difference being that instead of going through holes, you travel between four alternate dimensions: Fluffy, a lighthearted plush world where everything is lighter, Heavy, a dark metallic world where everything is, well, heavier, Slow-Motion and Anti-Gravity, which are self-explanatory.

Why do I bring this up? Well, Dr. Quadwrangle was voiced by John DeLancie. This would make him an individual with the ability to fundamentally alter reality, who was voiced by John DeLancie.

I think you see where I'm going with this.

The comparison becomes a lot easier when you see the ending to Quantum Conundrum. I seriously don't want it for you. I'm not even going to type it here. Just know that Quantum Conundrum is a good game with a good ending. You should play it. You should see the ending. (Or look it up on YouTube or something if you don't want to shell out the 15 bucks.) And then you should write a fic where Dr. Quadwrangle either encounters or somehow becomes Discord. (Or both!)
>> No. 108306
I need a song that seems like something Pinkie Pie would sing for my new fanfic I'm working on. The song can be about anything she will be singing it at the next GGG. I'm not a very good song writer so I need someone to write it for me. I will give credit were credit is do. It doesn't have too be that long about 8-12 lines.Also if you can make it semi-humorous if possible.
P.S. You can also email me it at [email protected]
>> No. 108308
File 134050518966.png - (277.95KB , 483x342 , cubephone.png )

Refer to this post for the perfect lines: >>107591
>> No. 108328
File 134050949716.png - (387.50KB , 1011x950 , 23481 - artist YoorPorick cyborg pooryorick robot twilight_sparkle.png )
Or you could do what I did and just pirate the game. My computer can barely run it, surprisingly, since I can play games like TF2, Half Life perfectly and Skyrim fine. This is a newer game though.

Anyways, playing through a little bit of it, I can say that Quadwrangle and Discord are the same person, and that Equestria is a dimension that Quadwrangle decided not to put on the glove. He says in the game that the one using the glove will remain constant, but who knows? Idunno.

I'm stuck at that damn part where you have to get those five safes to block the blue beam WITHOUT them burning up in the red beam behind it, which is hard considering there's a giant fan blowing them into it. I was like 'HOW DO?' and decided to come here while I think about it.
>> No. 108334
...No one wants to help?
>> No. 108335
You will receive a response Monday.
>> No. 108402
File 134058164367.jpg - (31.70KB , 501x237 , Untitled.jpg )
Hello good foalks of Ponychan! I am a writer of questionable mastery and known by most as the Calculus King of the West Coast.

I am currently considering creating a story about the Mane 6 as fillies. The story will be a crossover with the Divine Comedy--yes, the ponies will be going through Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven. However, the story will not be grimdark; I want to take a comedic stance on the whole affair with bits of drama thrown in.

So, how far am I in? Well:

Plot: Mostly unwritten
Characters: Undeveloped
World: Mostly constructed

That's where you come in. I want a talented writer to co-write with me. I will give them more details if they email me via the address provided above (hover over my name). Before we start, you should know that every time you don't use a serial comma, I die a little inside. Unless you want to co-write with me by the assistance of a wigi board, I recommend you use them.

I do want to get on Equestria Daily. If you don't think you can write to their standards, then please do not reply to me.

I made the image (Look mommy! I can use Microsoft Paint!).

>> No. 108403
Shitty at writing, but if you're going with a comedic stance, you might want to give Satan humorous, affable qualities, like Disney did with Hades in Hercules
>> No. 108405
Actually, I'm ponifying Hell, so Discord will be Satan. He's pretty goofy. :)
>> No. 108463
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I don't think I've noticed many (if any) Con Mane stories.

And I just got an idea for one.

A matter of national security quickly spirals into a quest to stop a powerful individual from extinguishing magic itself. Joe (Con Mane) and Twilight Sparkle find themselves chasing leads around the world to discover his motives, unravel the plot, and, of course, stop him before Equestria falls to pieces.

Super vague, as always, but I don't want to go too in-depth about it at the moment. Thoughts?
>> No. 108464
And yes, I realize that sounds like the plot for almost any "stop the bad guy" adventure story ever. So no points for originality just going off of that, I guess. Still, the details and possibilities forming in my head are intriguing.
>> No. 108497
File 134064958255.jpg - (13.13KB , 106x150 , thumbnail_345a6ca72db9fc1ec0110f5cdbf3da53399ad9bf.jpg )
So I'm currently writing this story about a stallion going to Ponyville (Yeah real original i know) but i thought my OC was just original enough to not be a candidate to be smashed over the head with a hammer. the story is already up on fanfiction for those that are curious. just look for Scribes Are Weird or Ghostwriter.

And for those that don't basically my OC is a slightly socially awkward unicorn that works as a scribe for the princess and is sent to ponyville to talk to the mane six about The various situations they have been in. And so here is my problem. Originally, Ghostwriter (His name) was going to meet a couple of the mane six through their place of work. However meeting R.D. and Fluttershy would be difficult with this method as, well they don't really have a "place" of work. I've also kinnda written myself into a corner as i had Pinkie Pie encounter Ghost in much the same way as she met twilight. For one the next part of the plan is going to Sugar cube corner, so do i have them meet there, but another problem would be that i can't stick Ghost into one of Pinkie's parties because he would turtle up. And since i had Pinkie technically be the first to meet him, a party is inevitable. my third and final problem is that i find Pinkie difficult to pin down, he reactions are random at best and i just don't want to screw up so... yeah i need help.
>> No. 108504
File 134065079726.png - (278.87KB , 500x352 , Method+Man.png )
Ight, here's a spectacular idea that will leave you swooned and sighing in delight.

Twilight, fed up with not ever having a pony on par with her level of intelligence in Ponyville, pursues trying to find others like her. A search across Canterlot gives no leads, so after much time trying to find some sort of pony who can keep up with her, she decides to visit the Royal Archives for a spell to locate someone who's suitable. After preparing the spell, she goes through with it only for her to accidentally sneeze, putting more energy into it than she should have.

The result is an entity partially crossing over into Equestria, but melding in with her own personality instead of becoming physical. The entity in question? Method Man.

So Twilight pretty much dicks around Canterlot, messing with vendors and being a general deviant while also using her inner Method Man to conduct careful scientific experiments on the most mundane and boring things, which tend to result in some sort of explosion or destruction. She also develops a severe fear of fire extinguishers as well.

After committing various crimes and being a menace to society, Twilight is arrested. Of course, she doesn't go down without a fight and takes down several guards before losing. Princess Celestia becomes disappointed in her student and tries to figure out what's wrong with her after Twilight curses her out. The Princess assumes she's possessed by an unknown phantom-thing and tries to exorcise her.

It succeeds and the result is Method Man in flesh and blood, walking away from the scene and going to get something to drink. Twilight stops him and asks if he's the one who was supposed to be able to keep up with her scientifically and intelligence-wise. Method Man produces his credentials and resume, which impress even the Princesses. He then decides to temporarily work alongside Twilight to further Equestria scientifically before he heads back to Earth for a concert with Redman.

The End.
>> No. 108551
File 134067683108.gif - (1.30MB , 300x340 , mlfw1622-130860173412.gif )
How about a Conversion Bureau story done from the other side?

What if it was Earth about to consume Equestria, instead of the other way around, and all of the wimpy, impotent ponies (as opposed to bastardly, warlike humans) had to collectively choke down a cup full of humanization serum, and accept all the changes whether they want it or not? Would the average TCB reader like it nearly as much as they like normal TCB stories? Probably not. But it would be a neat experiment.
>> No. 108566
You misspelled 'aight"
>> No. 109199
Would a silly story of the TF2 Balloonicorn going to Equestra have any legs?
>> No. 109210
Everything can be a good story if it's done right. For this kind of concept, I think it'd have to be [Random][Comedy]. Because, let's face it, there's no way anypony's going to take that concept seriously. That's not to say it can't be a good story, of course. What I'm trying to say here is it could have legs if you handle it right.
>> No. 109228
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It has legs, they're just stubby. Just make a Unicorn and base the story off of the description of the Baloonicorn, like how Gary Brottman is sleeping with Baloonicorn's wife.
>> No. 109604
File 134137465724.png - (716.07KB , 944x650 , spoiler.png )
So, I've been THINKING a bit about doing a fic involving everyone's favorite Dragqueenonaciuoussksis traveling to Earth in order to screw with Celestia's plans by helping her quarry escape her traps.

So, to make a long explanation short, this parodies the run of the mill HiE where the human gets killed to get sent to Equestria. Chyssalis is planning on taking down Equestria with a much stronger army, and the new couple (Cadence and Shining Armor) are already on their honeymoon to some far-ass place or some shit like that. Celestia decides to outsource some help that can find true love in her kingdom, and decides on nabbing someone from Earth due to a human's ability to feel just as much if not more emotions than an Equestrian. She chooses some guy who pretty much spends his time going out to clubs and the like with his friends instead of studying for college.

Celestia plans on killing him humanely to bring him to Equestria, but Discord decides to intervene to fuck with her. Essentially, he befriends and protects the guy against all of Celestia and the Elements attempts to bring him to Equestria, which tend to be comical situations involving hanging pianos and the such. Discord tells guy what he is and Celestia's plan, and after Discord proves it's all true, becomes better friends with the DraqunWizKhalifazkis. To shrink this all down, it's Discord and a guy dicking around and enjoying the nightlife of NYC together.

Also, I need a bit of help with the title, which I've put in the subject box. Good, bad, etc.?

Here, have a picture of a Burer as my thanks.
>> No. 109779
I'm not sure if this post fits in best to the Story Forge or not, but I know making a new thread is incredibly taboo around here and the quickest way to get shut out. So I feel more comfy posting for my first time on /fic/ in the closest fit to what I'm looking for...

I don't need a story idea as any writer has thousands of them and the true work comes in the research, story world building and actual writing. Rather I'm looking for encouragement on an idea I had started in March 2011 but abandoned because of the length it was getting and time involved to write it. I'm a writer who has never written fanfic or read fanfic. I consider the purpose of writing to be getting published, so I've avoided fanfic entirely. However, an even more important aspect of writing is the message you carry and getting that to your target audience (which is the purpose of publishing).

I've been wanting to write a fanfic that focuses heavily on the polarization of the world around us, using the events surrounding Scott Walker and Wisconsin as a backdrop, and a journey of two humans into Equestria and their transformations from that journey as a backdrop of the transformation many bronies early on in the fandom experienced when first discovering MLP: FiM. I know there are better ways to go about writing such a story, but given my voice as a writer, life experiences (both in being born in Wisconsin and having strong family ties there and some of my life experiences right now in the polarization) and general writing style, I'm feeling it's the best way for me to write this story. And while I can easily adapt this to its own fantasy world of my own creation, it's a story written for the bronies. So I feel a fanfic is very appropriate.

Talking to some fanfic writers at BronyCon, they were very reserved about the idea of humans in Equestria as that's apparently been done to death, but as I told them that my focus is about polarization and the themes, they started to encourage me to write it releasing it one chapter at a time. I already have the layout and some writing done for the Foreward, Prologue and Chapters 1 & 2 along with world building. It's something I'm honestly not sure if I'll finish. But if reception is good enough after posting it up chapter by chapter, it is something I would definitely set aside more time for. But therein lies another issue. I'm used to writing a complete story before issuing it to any sort of public eye, not an episodic release.

So my question is this: Does this seem like a worthy thing for me to pursue, or should I just abandon all hope now like I did around April last year? Are there any suggestions in the best way to go about episodic releasing of this story and getting feedback?
>> No. 109969
This isn't the kind of question that really fits in the thread for the development of ideas and story lines, but we don't really have a thread for "/fic/, I need help regarding the act of writing itself" besides the Ask-A-Prereader thread and Nicknack's lonely advice thread. Perhaps we should make one.

>Does this seem like a worthy thing for me to pursue, or should I just abandon all hope now like I did around April last year?
On the topic of HiE (Human in Equestria), the reason it's looked down upon is because even if you account for Sturgeon's Law, most if it is invariably god-awful self-insert drivel. If you write it and write it well, there shouldn't be a reason it gets past the initial barrier of "Yet-another-HiE-story, I'll pass". (At which point, you'll have to deal with the same wide-scale "I don't like this genre in general" problem that Dark writers need to face.) If you've got some amazing zeitgeist fic, word will probably spread of its own accord.

Do note that Brony in Equestria stories are more or less banned by Equestria Daily, but if your story is at least Arddun-Lleuad-quality, they might give it a fair chance.

>Are there any suggestions in the best way to go about episodic releasing of this story and getting feedback?
Here's a list of review threads: http://bit.ly/JI0sZF (You can find this in the sticky, too.) Apologies if it's not up to date. A good deal of writers write a chapter, submit the chapter to these threads, submit the revised chapter to FiMFiction/Equestria Daily, then write the next chapter, and so on. The idea behind an episodic release is to 1. get more initial readers (dropping 120,000 words on a reader can be quite intimidating), 2. get more general readers through update notices, and 3. let you know if the entire endeavor is still worth pursuing so you can cut your losses early if it doesn't pan out. Mostly just the first two, though, because just because you release it one or two chapters at a time doesn't mean you have to write it one or two chapters at a time.

On a separate note, I'm not sure what you mean by "polarization".
>> No. 109973
Alright, so I had an idea for more or less of a horror fic. Just hear me out.

It's the usual fic setting: We're in Ponyville, somebody arrives and things get changed. In our case, it's the usual "misunderstood, downtrodden artist" - in our case, a painter, named Esthet. The only one to show any sort of interest in his work is Twilight Sparkle.

One day, he decides to ask her if she'd let him do portraits of her. She agrees and he starts making one, "Twilight", but isn't pleased with it. He just puts it away and starts working on another. However, when Twilight is too busy to come to pose for him, he works without her, and eventually, his second portrait, "Twilight B", ends up looking nothing like Twilight, and even hardly looks like a mare. Twilight is blown away by the painting and shows it to her friends, who also agree that it's very well done. The painter starts to get some recognition for the painting, and begins, among others, to rack in the money.

The true story begins when he starts hearing voices telling him to expand the painting. Turn it into a mural. He buys a old house and incorporates his work into one of the walls and starts to paint another room next to the character. He still finds it empty, but decides he'll fill it up another day. He's about to call it a night just when a voice calls him out. As it turns out, the character in the painting is alive, and asks the artist to decorate the wall with portraits of other people. The artist isn't too hot, but when the obviously animate painting suggests that if his orders aren't followed, he'll trash the painting and bring poverty back, the artist agrees.

His first portrait his Applebloom. However, after he's done painting her, she gets sick and falls into a catatonic state. Her expression on the mural is sad and helpless, while the previously-sickly looking Twilight B seems to get healthier. The mural keeps on getting bigger as Esthet has no choice but to add other characters. All meanwhile, Twilight and friends are trying to solve the mystery.

One night, Twilight wants to face Esthet, but finds out he's not home. She decides to wait for him, when Twilight B adresses her and tricks her into coming in the painting. Esthet arrives just in time to stop his creation, when the now extremely good-looking stallion in the wall decides to literally step into reality and attack him. Such is the climax, and in the end, T2 is defeated by a whole barrel of thinner.
>> No. 109980
Something like that having its own thread would be nice. I feel quite lost around here.

It's actually about two hunters who know nothing about pony, and I don't even acknowledge MLP as existing in the real world. It's kept purely as its own fantasy world (with a lot of my own world building in it, which I tried to remain as loyal to the canon of the show as possible back in March 2011, there's a few things now that may contrast lightly without changing the story). It's not a getting stuck in show we see on TV type story. No self inserting either. The two characters are inspired lightly by Eddie and Howard Dean in The Dark Tower series. Same character archetypes, not the same characters though.

Thanks for the advice on review threads.

Polarization is the idea behind two opposing sides becoming more opposite and opposed to each other, more on the principal of hate than anything and completely unwilling to step in the middle and try to negotiate. It's commonly used when describing the political theater today in the United States. So two sides growing further apart basically. Think of the Doctor Seuss story where the two sides were battling over whether you should put butter on top of the bread or below the bread. Over simplification of polarization, but definitely polarization none the less. It's not seen as a good thing.
>> No. 110360

Does someone know any MLP fanfiction which includes steampunk, please?
>> No. 110421
File 134179581239.png - (149.98KB , 978x908 )
You'll probably get a better response in the recommendation/request thread, which is here: >>88527
>> No. 110568
Oh, I am sorry, I clicked on the wrong thread, I thought this one was the Recommendations thread :/

>> No. 110843
File 134206708584.jpg - (34.44KB , 300x300 , shawn-spencer.jpg )
I've been kind of sitting on this idea for a while now, but I don't really know of any repositories where I can give ideas to that I've found. Anyway, I recently watched the movie Chronicle and I've been wondering, as many have about other subjects, "What would happen if this was ponified?"

Now, I've no time for actually writing a full on fanfic, but here's the basics of the concept when I was brainstorming this:
>3 young ponies (genders can be whatever you want, but I'd think that making them all the same gender would be beneficial) are our protagonists
>They live in an all-earth pony town, and even the thought of unicorns/pegasi are rare. Also it's not a nudist colony like Ponyville, if only to help justify some of the points coming after this
>They come across some kind of ancient artifact/dormant spell/piece of Discord (my personal favorite)/you get the point that turns them into either unicorns or alicorns, I'm not sure what would be more appropriate.
>While hiding their new body parts with the aforementioned clothes, they also find that they can do awesome things like levitation, force fields, flight, among others
>Since I'm sure that child abuse/life threatening disease is rare in Equestria, let's say that the corruption of one of the protagonists comes from whatever created their powers in the first place, kind of like NMM or something.

Like I said, it's not too fleshed out of an idea, but it's a start at least, right?
>> No. 111204

I'm writing a fanfiction about MLP and I would like to get a few comments about a part of my story.

(I don't put it in the review threads, because I didn't start to write, it's only about the idea. Please tell me if I should put it elsewhere)

It's about the mane 6 getting the ability to control the elements (fire, water, and so on), it's a bit "The Last Airbender-like".

I'm asking you if it wouldn't annoy you to read a story with such a "cliché", a fanfiction crossover MLP-TLA already exists, etc.

I can rearrange the story without this idea, I just want to know your personal opinion about that, please :)
>> No. 111216
That idea seems fresh enough, but you don't say enough about where you're going with it or how you're going about it. Is it only the mane six who are getting bending powers? What's the conflict? Setting? How is bending going to interact with magic?
>> No. 111317
Hello, and thank for your answer.

First of all, only 4 of the mane 6 would get these "bending powers" (since there are only 4 "elements").

Interaction with magic? I'm afraid I don't understand, but there is no need at all to control magic nor being a unicorn to use the "bending power".

The setting/conflict? Well, they are -almost- completely unrelated to the "bending powers", I don't see the point in explaining the story then. ;) Unless you think it still has its importance.
>> No. 111343
Would it be in bad taste to have Pinkie preform a shoryuken and a Hadouken in a fight? I thought it would be funny, but doesn't hurt to ask.
>> No. 111344
As a general rule of thumb, think of a ten year old. If he wouldn't find it funny, it's not funny.

The only ten year old I have close by actually said it was stupid. Then called me gay. I should probably not told him about the ponies.
>> No. 111874
Would anyone be willing to give me a hand here? I need lyrics for an Equestrian national anthem, sung to the tune of the show's theme.
>> No. 111882

I thought Equestria already has a national anthem? Don't you remember that Christmas episode song?
>> No. 111921
Honestly, I didn't consider that. I always thought that was more like a hymn, or a Christmas carol, in keeping with the theme of the episode. I suppose it could work as a national anthem, though.
>> No. 112130
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all right guys, I need a good name for the school that the CMC go to. this is for a chess-themed parody fic, so go nuts - you bring the spitballs, I'll bring the wall. if anyone has anything that I decide to use, I'll give them a "co-written by" credit on the forthcoming story, to allay suspicions of whatever ulterior motives I might possess in making such a request.

something better than "Ponyville Elementary". this element has been left open by the show, so it's an opportunity to be witty!
>> No. 112337
>If you have a story idea that you do not wish to write because you are incapable of writing
I fall in this category.

Possible Title: The Book of Chaos

The general story arc would revolve around the 'book of chaos,' which is, specifically, the book in which Twilight read the prophecy of Nightmare Moon's return. There are actually two possible ways of writing a story based on this. But let me get through the basis of this first.

So yes, the story revolves around the book in S01E01 and S02E02. This book was originally owned by Discord back when he controlled Equestria. It is possible that he created the book or it was passed down (in which case, if it was passed down, there's a possibility Luna and Celestia knew about it, but more on that alter). This is a book which, depending on the period of time and/or whoever is reading it, changes what is written on it (or can actually, not read anything and be hollowed). Which yes, the main basis of ownership comes from when Discord gave Twilight his riddle. He knew that Twilight began her adventure once she read this book and he also knew that she currently had it in her possession and he hid the EoH inside this book. Yet he was encased in stone, but he knew. Reason? Its his book. You could also play it off as he also read it before being imprisoned. But yeah, this is a book of prophecy and, more importantly, of chaos.

So possible stories to go with this arc? I got two. One detailed and one not so detailed. The not so detailed one would involve Twilight opening the book one day, finding it changed and having her go in an adventure and you can take it wherever you want. The second one, which I find a bit more interesting, would revolve around the time before Discord was imprisoned and just before the time Celestia banished Luna/NMM into the moon.

The basis of this story would be the following. It will follow Celestia as she and her sister try and take back Equestria. They can either know about the book and, if so, they can believe that it's an incredibly powerful object or they can not know about the book. Point being, they travel around Equestria, in which the author shows that the sisters have a strong bond, even when Discord shows up and taunts them. They eventually catch up to him. Except there's a small catch. Discord has actually been waiting for them, as he has read in the book that this would be his finally stance before he would be defeated. And, of course, Discord being Discord, is sitting around, drinking his explosive chocolate glass, waiting for them to defeat him. When the sisters finally do show up and seeing him in this position, they tell him it's all over blah blah blah. This is where he goes and taunts them both with the book. But more specifically, Celestia. Luna goes on about how his taunts won't work and, although hesitant, Celestia agrees. He throws his book at them just as they fire the EoH at him. Battle ends but Celestia happens to see the book and takes it with her.She becomes mildly obsessed with the book and she may or may not use it to guard Equestria against natural disasters (author's choice). No, the interesting part comes when she reads a passage which portrays Luna becoming Nightmare Moon and taking over Equestria. Celestia, not wanting to believe the book, believes it is rubbish. But she can't stop thinking in the back of her mind that it might be true. From this, Celestia starts becoming distant from her sister and stops letting her control the kingdom as equals. Luna starts questioning Celestia and she can't help think of what is going on. In essence, by reading the prophecy in the book, Celestia takes the initial steps into transforming her sister into Nightmare Moon. The climax of the story comes where she reads the book one last time, where it says that Celestia must use the Elements of Harmony against her sister and banish her to the moon for one thousand years until someone else can free her. After much internal struggle, Celestia realizes what Discord has done, puts the book away where no one can read it and leaves to get the elements of harmony. And I believe that would be a good ending to stop there. I think taking further than that would not be necessary and leaves for a very nice dramatic ending. But then again, I'm no writer and this is just me throwing a good idea out to you guys, so if anyone takes it, the author can morph it to however they want. :)
>> No. 112512
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Hey there, everypony.

So, although I'm still working on my first fic for now, I've got an idea for a silly one in my head. I've already wrote a general synopsis for the story, but now I just need a title. If possible, I'd like it to be a witty one; It's going to be partially comedic, after all.

Here's the synopsis:

-After thouzands of years of drifting randomly through space with Wheatley, Space Core is suddenly attracted by the gravity of an unknown planet, and crashes in a place called Neighpon.
Desiring to go back into space, Space Core and his new friend Ikepan venture forth on a quest to get Space Core back into space, and reunite him with his friend Wheatley.

I know, it's a weird synopsis. But it just came to me, and I'm actually quite excited to start with this.

Any possible recommendations for titles are welcome!



Acland Academy?
>> No. 112542
How about a Blueblood fic in which he is the head of the East Equestria Company trading organization (so his cutie mark makes sense).

It could be an intriguing tale of political intrigue and Machiavellian scheming, combined with the inherently interesting potential for high-seas adventure and machinations of trade complexities and business affairs.

I'd read it.
>> No. 113016
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I got an idea. It would be a redo of the first episode.

Twilight Sparkle is the protege of Princess Celestia, train as not only a world class mage, but a world class fighter. All of Twilight's time was occupied with studying and training. Twilight recognizes the second coming of Nightmare Moon. Celestia task her to gather five strong warriors to combat the threat. Twilight goes to ponyville's Summer Sun Celebration fighting tournament, intent on finding strong fighters.

I've been trying to figure out some good fighting styles for the team. Here's what I got:

Twilight: A mix between strong magic attacks, and lithe and agile strikes. (Also playing with an idea that because of her vast magic, it pollutes her darker emotions, manifesting as crazy Twilight, who i want to give a name but can't think of one.)

Rarity: A strong fencer. Utilizes counters and ripost. also uses gems for various attacks, such as exploding gems and cutters. She is still a fashion designer, and likes to design dresses and fighter uniforms.

Applejack: Agile, but focuses on strong strikes and whip like attacks. uses apple farming as a form of training. Granny Smith has also taught her the Apple Family ways of using Life apples. Life apples are Apples grown on wellsprings of magical life energy and when eaten grant increases in streangth, however if used too dependently can destroy ones body.

Pinkie Pie: Pinkie focuses on a very random style. she's unpredictable and adaptable and utilizes many different weapons and fighting styles in combat. Her pinkie sense allows her to see how a foe will react. Pinkie loves parties and a good fight. However Pinkie has a darker side.
Pinkimena: A ruthless alternete personality that loves nothing but fighting and carnege. She a manifestaion of Pinkie's sadness. Pinkie will usually try to finish serious fights quickly lest Pinkimena gain control. However Pinkimena often advises her during fight's giving her unusual insight.

Rainbow Dash: Her attacks rely on pure speed, usaualy relating to high speed strikes, takcles, and pile drives as well as utilizing weather for combat. Rainbow wants to join the Wonderbolts, a group of professinal stunt flyers and fighting team.

Fluttershy:... Many of you may be asking how the hay Fluttershy would fight... she's a berzerker... yeah... Fluttershy is so in touch with nature that she assumes many differnt fighting style based on animals. Fluttershy does not like to fight but will. in times of extremes, Fluttershy assumes a very feral form. This ups her speed and strength but she's very instinctual and will charge at a foe with reckless abandon.

Fluttershy was the hardest to figure out what to do. Anyway the idea may have been done before, but it requires a good execution. I'm feeling up to the task. Any pony think I should try it?
>> No. 113019
A story about ponies just beating the crap out of each other. Well, I'm always up for that!

I seem to recall the "reimagining of the first couple of episodes" being a cliche at one point, but I don't remember encountering it that much. There was that one hard science-fiction thing, and... I'm not even sure if I can come up with another example. But even if it is a cliche, just because a story has a cliched premise doesn't mean it can't be pulled off well. If you're feeling up to the task, then by all means, go ahead, Mr. Scribe!
>> No. 113020
I think I'd have to tweak some things like the elements of harmony. (Generosity would be hard to display in a fight.) So if anypony has any imput i'd apreciate it. Also a name for Twilight Psycho.
>> No. 113038
That was never a cliché, Seattle just did it reasonably well enough the first time without getting any recognition.
>> No. 113071
Dude... Seattle wasn't the first to do that, not by a longshot.

And who knows how many other "what if Nightmare moon had won" stories I'm too lazy to find. Cliché to some extend.

And all the other, "what if no rainboom?" stories. Also, ditto.

And those are the ones I remember. If someone knows of more stuff, I'm sure they can nerd all over the thread with the list.
>> No. 113095
Well, in the show, that only seems to happen when Twilight thinks there's a serious problem she has to correct. So how about "Obsessed Twilight?"

And as for the Elements of Harmony, why don't you just rename them based around the fighting styles of their bearers? I remember when I took karate, there were five animals that some of the forms were based around (crane, dragon, tiger, and I forget the other two). So the confrontation with Nightmare Moon could look something like this:

>"Applejack, capable of overpowering any opponent she faces with her sheer brute strength, represents the Element of the Bear!"
>"Fluttershy, weak at first glance but devastating when provoked, represents the Element of the Cobra!"
>"Pinkie Pie, who achieves victory by staying one step ahead of her opponents at all times, represents the Element of the Dog!" shut up, I was out of ideas
>"Rarity, who cast off her enemies' attacks as if they were nothing more than silk, represents the Element of the Tortoise!"
>"Rainbow Dash, who evaded your attacks as though she saw them coming weeks in advance, represents the Element of the Falcon!"
>"You see, Nightmare Moon, when these five Elements are brought together, a spark is created that leads to the creation of the sixth... the Element of

Yeah, that last one doesn't really work, does it? Hm. Well, anyway, you get what I was saying, right? Basically what I'm suggesting here is spirit animals.
>> No. 113099
File 134319502763.jpg - (149.09KB , 1024x576 , 133468863386.jpg )
What about

Applejack: Strength
Rainbow Dash: Speed
Rarity: Finesse
Pinkie Pie: adaptability
Fluttershy: Instinct
Twilight: Balance
>> No. 113149
That works too.
>> No. 113178
Greetings and salutations colts and fillies of the fanfic page.

There's quiet a lot of stuff in this forum so I'm hoping that I'm posting this sorta thing in the right place.

> Ideas of a story
> Want to see if it makes sense

I've been trying to find a place to post some of the p0ny-fic that I've been producing and wanted to see if there would be some interest in the ideas I got formed for them. A friend directed me here so I hope that I can get some commentary to help see if I can go in the right direction.

There are so far 2 ideas I have in mind for these P0ny-fics. The first is something I got off 4chan, AiE or Anon in Equestria. In this story, Anon is granted an ability that his very thoughts and imaginations could be manifested into existence in this world. In other words, he can think of something and with the right kinda force, can create that figure or object instantly in the realm of Equestria.
>One such entity he creates is helping him be tactical
>try to understand "Friendship" from a loners perspective.

The second story is more of a double fan-fic, possessing both ideas from MLP and from a second source that i felt to be a rather cool addition.
BattleZone 1
If anyp0ny has gamed around the late 90's BattleZone 1 was an Activision RTS/FPS game that took the Cold War into space. The story I had with this is that a pilot of the US combat team on the moon is accidentally shot through a doorway that led to Ponyville, and through a rather unexpected entry finds himself stuck in this colourful world completely different from the cold war he just left.
>Stuck inside a locked-down Space Tank
>Ponies all over the place.
>No power source to charge tank to remove lock-down

So those are the two stories, and though I do plan on writing it and are a bit more than just seeds, I wonder if this is the right place to put them to see if they can roll with being legit fan0fics for pony.
>> No. 113186
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>(crane, dragon, tiger, and I forget the other two
crane/eagle, tiger, serpent/cobra, monkey, and mantis, dragon was used to describe a master of all five.
You could also just re-watch Kung Fu Panda,which reminds me, some cultures adopted bear style, which resembles tiger, but is still distinct.
>> No. 113189
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Are you new around here? Welcome. This is the thread for story idea development, but I have to warn you, those two stories might not take off too well. Then again they might, the general public loves their cliches, which brings me to my point: Both ideas you have there, while not terrible, are very cliche. I've seen both of them before and while the general public on FFN or Fimfiction might enjoy them, it would never make it to EQD. That's not to say you shouldn't write it, on the contrary, It will be a good way to improve your writing, by actually writing, and then sending it through here or some other reviewer-based story board. I just wanted to warn you about EQD's unofficial policy on cliches.

That said, what is it you need help with, other than to see if they can "roll with being legit fan0fics for pony."?
>> No. 113197
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Right! Got this idea that I want an opinion on involving our favorite party pony flipping her shit and going on a crime spree throughout Equestria, stealing all sorts of sweets.

So, it starts with Pinkie realizing her sanctified sweets are no longer able to appease her, and she begins traveling to neighboring towns to get a different taste. Eventually, she runs out of bits. Her natural tendency to over exaggerate her situation ends up with her wanting more sweets and stuff without the cost. So she snags one cupcake from a diner she passes by while using the bathroom.

Soon, she develops a sort of kleptomania and finds herself slowly building it up by stealing higher-standard baked goods in larger quantities. Throughout all of this, she still retains her same, perky personality. The seriousness in the fic is fairly low and people are more so confused by Pinkie's antics than offended by her rampant attempts at thievery. Eventually, Pinkie's actions catch the eye of a specific pony. From the Royal Bureau of Nutrition, Agent Gumshoe is given the sole task of finding Pinkie and preventing further damage.

He follows her through various towns, always a step behind until they finally face off against each other in Appaloosa. The weapons in the battle are the various treats both parties picked up over the course of time, with Gumshoe being seriously outgunned. Pinkie's enormous stockpile nearly destroys him until he's able to take a leap of faith and jump out of cover, throwing a pie. It hits her directly, defeating her.

She licks it off her face, gets arrested, brought to court to pay a small fine, and heads back to Ponyville to live out her days as the badass motherfucking G she is. THE END.
>> No. 113220
Yes, i guess I should have mentioned that this is my first post (well second now) and I just wanted to know i was in the right place.
Thank you for the welcome, happy to be here.

Cliche? Really.... I had a feeling it might, the AiE and any video game related to MLP as I've seen them before, perhaps a dime-a-dozen if that's what I'm getting. If its better to build the characters IN the world rather than bring one in then I can compensate in future works to just talk Pony.

I guess I'd like to partially know WHAT brings people about to really like a MLP fanfic, could the sole use of the MLP universe be counted as a "proper" fan fic or could something else be added in to be considered as a better option?
Honestly for me, I just wanna mess around in the reality that is MLP in the ways I think would be quiet interesting to take on.

The real big issue I have is more or less playing the role of the Mane six as well as the Royalty sisters. Luna, Pinkie Pie and AJ are pretty solid in the way I can write them, Dash and Flutter are rather rare in the ways I try to deal with them (moreso in the BattleZone story were Dash really goes all out about it) but Twilight, Rarity, and Celestia are the three I can't seem to fit, I can write them bit by bit, but I'm not sure I can beat the mark.
Further still, the relation between Celestia and Luna, all the fan-base aside and such, is it easy, rough, can it be competitive even? I'm not sure if that's something you could work a whole story off even, but its something I'd like to think about.

Aside from "wanting it to roll" with the rest of the heard, that's pretty much it. I'm sure its open to any sort of good or bad references from other ideas, but I want to try and keep it along the lines of "good", the function of dealing in the Cupcakes and etc realm of MLP will come later.

EQD is a goal, and I would be honored to get something published there eventually, but for now, I just want to get a crew to work with and some stories to write.
>> No. 113224
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Looks solid, you've got a good basic framework here. You'll have to make sure that the way she flows through these changes makes sense though, but I give it the go ahead.

There's a whole thread on this somewhere in here, I'll have to dig it up.
For now though, just write it, browse the board, find a reviewer, or send it to the training grounds thread. I'm sure somepony will be happy to help you there.

Applejinx is very good at characterization, so if you're stuck on that, i'd drop it in his thread. Until you get it written though, I used to have a thread on characterization, so I'll take a shot at it:
>Twilight, Rarity, and Celestia are the three I can't seem to fit
You and just about everypony in here. Don't feel bad, those three are kinda complex, and many authors struggle with them.
>the relation between Celestia and Luna, all the fan-base aside and such, is it easy, rough, can it be competitive even?
That's another one we see a lot, and given your skill as a writer, it can be a very good plot device.
>> No. 113283
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Give me a second I need to get Pop Culture straight. But my boredom level's a reaching points that are higher than the empire state. My queue is basically empty all across the board and my lack of writing activity is making me feel floored.

Okay I cant keep this up but seriously as I wait for some new inspiration to strike me with the Pop Culture story I've decided to write a new fic. Plot is this. The CMC are all grown up. Apple Bloom's working on the family farm as repairpony, Sweetie's a pop star taking a break from on tour, and Scoot's is a proud member of Wonderbolts with Rainbow. Apple Bloom is trying to spend more time with her fellow compatriots but they blow her off for work. Apple Bloom is rightfully angry so she sneaks of to Zecora's to make a potion to give her more time with her friends a'la Cutie Pox. What she ends up doing is reverting them back to their filly selves. They then have to scour the Everfree Forest for ingredients to make the antidote. Hijinks, trials, and the like insue and the three rediscover their friendship. They complete their journey only to have Sweetie and Scootaloo decide they like being fillies with no responsibilities and decide not to take the antidote to spend more time with Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom then takes the potion which disheartens the other two and they then take it as well. The story ends with the three upset that they can't spend more time with each other but resolve to set more time aside for each other in the end.

So first has this idea or something similar been done in the past and second can anyone think of a good name for this if it hasn't been done.
>> No. 113303
Does any pony know when hearts and hooves day would be? I had thought it was the same as valentines day, but the episode seems to take place during spring or summer.
>> No. 113308
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It's the day they see if he comes out of his hole and sees his shadow or not. If he gets blazed and stays out for a bit, it's Hearts and Hooves day. If not, wait another couple days until he has one in his hands and is out there.
>> No. 113314
Err... okay yeah that was a stupid question. Starting from janury what would be the order of the three holidays?
>> No. 113337
For part of a story idea I have, I need evidence from canon that Rarity is a half-vampire who battles demons by night.

It's ridiculous but it'll be funnier if it's half-plausible.
>> No. 113364
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Winter Wrap up was aired on December 24 2010 0_o
Hearth's warming eve was aired December 17 2011
Hearts and Hooves Daw was aired February 11 2012
The only one out of place is Winter wrap up, Hearts and Hooves day could have been just a warm spring day, considering Winter Wrap up seems to happen early in our winter season
>> No. 113441
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And lest you forget, Fall Weather Friends and its Running of the Leaves was on 2011-01-28. Season 2 was better about putting holiday episodes on proper dates than Season 1 was, but the general assumption last year was that the episodes were not necessarily in chronological order, barring episodes with explicit continuity references like the Grand Galloping Gala arc (tickets, dresses, gala). So, for the original question, it's probably safe to go with whatever your headcanon says is right, and not put too much stock in the episode air dates.

Actually, I should follow that advise myself *makes a note*

Well, for starters, there's all of these dress orders that she receives. How many times in canon has she worked ungodly hours on a project? What if she was actually staying up late to do battle, and the "working on a large order" was merely an alibi? She's tired and ragged, not because of excessive sewing, but because she was up all night swapping blows with hellspawn.

As for the half-vampire bit, nothing comes to mind yet.
>> No. 113449
I have been thinking of writing a fic where an OC moves into ponyville and after some time starts to teach twilight destruction magic. The oc is a cynical alcoholic due to his past, but eventual agrees to teach twilight. After he feels she is at a beginners level he has to leave and runs into trouble, she 2-5 others of the main 6 go out to rescue him.

There twilight uses her newly practiced magic to fight some baddies (manticores, diamond dogs and the like) but realizes how easy it is to kill someone and starts to question whether or not that this should be considered dark/evil magic and is she now evil for knowing it.

Loose idea rattling around in my head for a day or two.
>> No. 113450
Oh, hi! Welcome back, Khakispony. We missed you! I've certainly never run into that kind of storyline before. It seems like it could be pretty episodic, though. I'm intrigued. Um... you say you need a title? ...Hmm... how about "The Last Crusade?"

Also, are you SURE your queue is empty?

Ooh, a psychological drama about morality and mortality? Sign me up! If you're going to do this, you need to make sure you have a compelling OC. You're going to need to figure out his backstory is, even if you don't necessarily tell the audience. Flesh out the character. What happened to him, and how did it make him what he is?
>> No. 113456
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Thanks for your input though I don't know how well naming a story after the best Indiana Jones flick would go Raiders of the Lost Ark can suck it!. And yes I am aware that you're in my queue but you sorta scared me since the first page wasn't really changed as far as I can tell. Still you can expect a review sometime soon.
>> No. 113458
Well for the back story I was thinking of having him be born in an arid desert outside of equestria's borders and him and his family moved to Canterlot where his parents went into politics. Oc stumbled upon a book in the Canterlot library with the author of T.N.G and that is where he started his fascination with that magic. While practicing he loses of a fire ball and burns his house down scarring him and killing his mother ( I would only touch lightly on this I don't want to get a dark or grimdark tag).

Soon after he is disowned and eventually finds his way into the guard. His brother wants to seek revenge but knows in a magical fight he couldn't win so he follows his father's hoofsteps in politics and makes him into a criminal through political ties and claims of practicing black magic (resurrecting dead) and gets him banished to the everfree forest for X amount of years.
>> No. 113465
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I've been writing a Cloudchaser x Flitter shipping fic they're not sisters. After the opening scene where Cloudchaser is transferred into Flitter's class, Flitter invites Cloudchaser over to her house to play.

But I have no idea what they should do! Any ideas would be nice.
>> No. 113468
Well how old are they in your beginning? If they are just fillies you may want to have them be best friends till one pivotal moment that shapes the feeling for one of them to the other.
>> No. 113471
They're the same age as Apple Bloom.

I've only thought of an end to the first story arc, where they get their cutie marks. Then the second arc would begin with Cloudchaser going off to study meteorology. And Flitter'd be all, "No, I can't live without you!" Then they start living together.

But I can't get there 'til I figure out what they would do now. Please help.
>> No. 113474
In order to help I'd need to know more things. What plot points have you hit? What is the rate of shipping? What are their personalities? Who likes who? Do they know it? Do they know they like the other? Have they talked about it? Does one have a coltfriend? How would they react to the other admitting they liked the other? What would they do if the other one suddenly kissed one of them? Just as is, Flitter seems extremely attached and moving with a rate of very fast shipping. See, shipping is like physics. You have to solve the equation: rate of shipping = ( emotional destination - emotional start) / time it takes.

Long story short, more information is needed for me to reliably help.
>> No. 113543
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>What plot points have you hit?
They've just met. This is really early into the fic.

>What is the rate of shipping?
It's going to start as friendshipping, but in the second arc sequel they realize that they love each other.

>What are their personalities?
Flitter is very outgoing, but not very bright. Cloudchaser is smarter, but she isn't really a social butterfly.

>Who likes who?
>Do they know it?
>Do they know they like the other?
>Have they talked about it?
At this point they've just met. But later they both realize that they have feelings for each other.

>Does one have a coltfriend?
No, they're the same age as Apple Bloom at this point.

>How would they react to the other admitting they liked the other?
Cloudchaser would be surprised and a little embarrassed. But Flitter would be all, "I love you too, Cloudchaser." Or something like that.

>What would they do if the other one suddenly kissed one of them?
Either of them would probably be surprised, but then kiss the other back.

>Just as is, Flitter seems extremely attached and moving with a rate of very fast shipping.
Not really, the second arc sequel starts with them the same age as the mane 6.
>> No. 113577
Here's what I have so far (I skipped ahead a bit.)

>> No. 113724
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Hey, Story Forge.

Got a couple questions.

1: Can I have a paper plane, even though Equestria doesn't have planes? I never have the character refer to them as such, so just wondering.

2:What's the Equestrian equivalent to an Irish accent. I know Trotingham is considered british, so I was just wondering if there might have been one for Irish.
(Conditional: If there is not what's a good name for it that readers would know i'm refering to an irish accent but contains a witty horse pun?(Maybe I'll make a joke about how their runner in the Equestrian games was on drugs.(Wanna see if anyone gets it.)))

3: Could ponyville have 2 newspapers?

4: Would Rainbow Dash hold some contempt for Mare-Do-Well?

Well that's it. If somepony could answer my questions in a timely manner, I would appreciate it.
>> No. 113728
They have gliders, and Pinkie built a helicopter. A plane isn't a huge stretch of the imagination.

I'd suggest you look up a list of Irish city and town names and make a pun off of one of them.
To get you started: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_status_in_Ireland

There's no reason why it couldn't. Why even ask that? If canon doesn't say otherwise and there's good reason for it, assume yes.

It was sorta obvious she did in the episode, so yeah, duh.

It's like you're not even looking for the answers before asking the questions >_>.
>> No. 113731
With the mare-do-well question I meant after she found out it was her friends. Call me paranoid.
>> No. 113733
She likes her friends, she doesn't like Mare-Do-Well. If someone she doesn't know got gussied up in the suit I don't think she'd be particularly appreciative.
>> No. 113734
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ooh, I've got it! It's a little shaky, but for the vampire bit: remember how she always goes to the spa with Fluttershy? What if she has "ulterior motives" for keeping Fluttershy close? Just a thought I had.

Well, you could take another look at "The Stare Master, to get a feel for fillies' antics. Perhaps not constantly trying to find their cutie marks but something fun and imaginitive. Master Yoda said it himself "Truly wonderful the mind of a child is." Fillies have incredible imaginations, heck, if you've got a younger sibling, you might swipe some ideas off of them. The bare basics though go pack to preschool days; they're both fillies, so dress-up is a viable option, as is make-believe, and dolls, and the infamous tea party. It's all about using your Imagination. Damn I wish I knew how to make that sparkle.
>> No. 113835
File 134355702097.png - (285.62KB , 900x675 , we_built_this_city_on_blood_sweat_and_tears.png )
So, after rediscovering SimCity 4, I came up with this idea as a crossover.

Canterlot lies near the borders of Equestria, but is heavily protected by abnormally high mountains from all sides of the border. One day, Celestia is standing at her balcony when she sees the mountains just flatten themselves with no explanation. Instead of approaching, she watches intently from her spot and sees creatures quickly built what seem to be small houses and cottages with paved roads. It seems primitive from her perspective, but she continues watching them from her spot, not worrying if their a threat due to their small numbers.

Over the course of the months, the town grows significantly, with a growing industry in raw materials and various services. While a royal decree prevents any interaction and these new neighbors do well to avoid the Equestrians, Celestia is left wondering if a peace treaty is possible. Over time, the town becomes a city and larger buildings come into existence, much to her surprise. She then sends unicorn guards who secretly spy on the neighbors with some sort of invisibility spell. Plenty of information is recorded and brought back, but what truly captures her attention is a photo of the leader of the creatures that seem to be called "Sims." This leader goes only by the name "Mr. Mayor."

Eventually, more information is retrieved and it is revealed that Mr. Mayor is a highly-valued, confident, and very capable asset to the city he governs. Though he isn't seen very often, if at all, Celestia's hidden respect for him grows alongside the new neighboring city called "New Maxis." In a years time, the city grows so large that skyscrapers are already being developed, out-rivaling those of Manehattan and other cities, with booming economies, wealthy residents, and an overall well-run city. Though, things seem to take a turn for the worse when disaster looms over the horizons.

Several highly-destructive happenings occur within the city, nearly obliterating it each time only for it to bounce back with only a small percentage lost. Instead of sending aid, Celestia continues watching and taking notes on the Sims, seeing how they fair and their will to survive. Slowly, the general well-being of the city crumbles and citizens become unruly. Mr. Mayor, the enigmatic governor of the city, is revealed by spies to be falling apart alongside his city, where he resorts to illicit activities (starting small, however) to quell his stress.

It's at this point that Celestia decides to intervene and assist the city of New Maxis, where she provides relief and aid, much to the Mayor's dismay, who believes he was more than capable enough to rebuild his city himself without help. He begrudgingly accepts when citizens revolt in unrest, making him less desirable as the Mayor.

All I got so far in terms of an idea on what the hay this fic would contain, though I don't know if I'd ever pursue it. Hell, it could Mayor Mare instead of Celestia and the city near Ponyville for all it matters. Though, Mayor x Mayor shipping seems a bit odd.
>> No. 113868
File 134358243285.jpg - (35.27KB , 500x281 , acb.jpg )
>> No. 113932
File 134360595074.png - (260.66KB , 830x650 , Crepusc2.png )
Celestia and Luna are not the only alicorns that keep charge of the day and night. There is a third, hidden alicorn prince(Description: Black coat, white mane, and silver horn)that opens the gateway on the plane of existance during dusk and dawn to allow the the passing of the moon and sun. He has lived and died a thousand times, only able to exist in the twilight. But one day, still trapped in his stone prison, Discord manages to gain enough power to pull Crepusc (which will be the alicorn's name) from the sky. This traps Equestria in an eternal dawn, the sun unable to rise and the moon unable to fall. Inevitably, this alicorn crashlands in the everfree forest, losing his memory. The only thing he has retained is an instintcual martyrdom, feeling that he does not deserve a sliver of generosity. Not only that, but Discord's spirit has leaked out and is wreaking havoc across the land. Crepusc is the only one who can stop him. In the end, Crepusc's tale is revealed to be one of an ultimate sacrifice for his sisters.
>> No. 113935
File 134360620928.png - (17.05KB , 150x113 , Scootaloo point.png )
You're going to need a pretty good explanation as to why Discord is able to influence things outside of his prison, and of such magnitude as well. Furthermore, why the stone prison broke. Also, without his memory--assuming I read that correctly--Crepusc is going to have a hard time defeating Discord.
>> No. 113939
Well that idea flopped.
>> No. 113942
(Merged from >>113916)

Basically, what Nick said: you've got a heck of a Gary Stu brewing.

Let me see what I can do.

To start with, Crepusc can''t be your protagonist. Protagonists need to face challenges in a way that the readers can identify with. When you make a character extra special, it limits where you can put him in your story.

So the natural thing to ask is "who will this Crepusc cause problems for and how?" So if he's "self-sacrificing," maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe one of his sisters want to protect him.

But it will be difficult to shoehorn a new alicorn into the royal family. It raises the question "why haven't we heard of him yet?"

I think answering those questions might give you the beginning of a story. Remember though that a story is when a character wants something and can't get it without losing something else.
>> No. 113944

This isn't a very original idea here, but I think the real issue is that you don't actually have a story: you have a character. The rest of the story only exists to show us that character in action.

Now, let's be honest... that's what all stories are: They show us a character in action. What does Sherlock Holmes do? He solves crimes. That's it. Every single one of his stories goes the same way: Holmes solves a mystery. But here's the thing: it's not like the crime decided to occur just so Holmes could solve it.

A good protagonist needs to live in a believable world, with believable supporting characters a believable chain of events, and all sorts of other believable stuff. Otherwise, the reader won't believe it. It's just a story about this awesome/sad/angry/lonely/wacky OC, and... that's it. You might add other stuff as you write, but it'll feel tacked on.

The truth is, cliche can be done well. But the more cliched an idea is, the more skilled the writer has to be to pull it off in an interesting way. If you're determined to stick with this premise, I'd at least suggest you give some thought to what else will be in the story. Give the character some realistic characters, events or scenery to interact with, and he'll seem more believable.

Also, I know what Crepusc means in Latin... it's still a really wonky name. Just sayin'.
>> No. 113946
>To start with, Crepusc can''t be your protagonist. Protagonists need to face challenges in a way that the readers can identify with. When you make a character extra special, it limits where you can put him in your story.

What, are you kidding me? Sure he can be a protagonist. Just make sure his important character interactions are with other godlike beings. If he's related to Celestia and Luna, they must have some sort of family dynamic... and no matter how strange it may be to us mere mortals, they must surely think of themselves as some kind of family. There's something there we can relate to.

Also, about the whole compulsive martyrdom thing: maybe his death and rebirth is a key part of how he manages the dusk and dawn... he dies twice a day, every single day, at six in the morning and six in the evening. He's gotten so used to it that his sisters don't have much sympathy for him anymore. "Such whining!" they say. "It's not like it's a real martyrdom."

But what if, one day, he faces a threat that can kill him for real? He's never thought about that before, and maybe it scares him silly: "This must be how mortals feel, all the time! How do they find the strength to carry on?" Suddenly, he's the one sympathizing with us. Character growth! Two points!

It gets worse. Now that he's faced with his first real sacrifice, all his previous martyrdoms seem hollow and trite to him. Now he finally has a chance to prove his mettle... if he can swallow his terror long enough to do it.

The moral of the story? The value of a sacrifice depends on what was truly lost. Not what you think was lost.

For the sisters, maybe add a teaspoon of "you don't appreciate something until it's gone."
>> No. 114002
File 134362433851.png - (738.44KB , 943x955 , Sweetie Belle111743 - adults apple_bloom artist musapan Diamond_Tiara dinky_hooves future Pipsqu.png )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjot9jkpmv0 After watching this video and reading the description, I thought of an idea for an alternate universe fic.

The idea is that, in G3-3.5, Sweetie Belle was the only unicorn. But what if I wrote a deconstruction of that, where her horn is a mutation and she just wants to be normal. But in the end, accepts the fact that she's different.

What do you think, does it have potential?
>> No. 114034
File 134364252817.jpg - (45.61KB , 485x512 , noonecanstopme.jpg )
Nearly all story ideas have potential, it just depends on the writer.

I personally see this one working as a tragedy, or--since tragedies are usually of the victim's doing--just sad. Like the ugly duckling syndrome. It looks to be a nice fleshy story too, with lots of drama and emotions flying about. I say go for it.
Of interesting note: Scootaloo is the only non-background pegasus filly. Featherweight is excluded due to only appearing in one episode.
>> No. 114056
>Nearly all story ideas have potential, it just depends on the writer.
I love playing with cliches and tropes in interesting ways, and I've been told--by someone who would never lie to spare my feelings--that I do it well.

Whenever I see someone describe an OC or a plot that seems cliche, I don't measure it on a scale of "good to bad." Instead, one end of my scale reads "This idea is very cliched or unoriginal and would require great skill and style to do well." The other end reads "This idea is very safe and unoriginal and requires very little skill or style to do well."

Whenever I think of saying "no", I try to say "yes, but" instead. I'd like to see that sort of convention catch on.
>> No. 114164
File 134373897042.jpg - (154.84KB , 1273x711 , laaaaaa~.jpg )
Okay, guys, here's the setup. I'm writing a Pinkie Pie party thrown for characters who have literally been pulled out of the 1980s. And what's a party without good music? Subsequently, I need ponified versions of bands and songs that were popular in the 60s, 70s and 80s. Disco is perfectly acceptable, if you were wondering. But here's the problem. Some of these names translate to ponification well, like Loingo Boingo's 1985 New Wave classic "Weird Magic" or Princess's 1975 rock anthem "Colthemian Rhapsody." But there's others, like Men Stallions, I know Without Hats's "Safety Dance" or The Lovin' Spoonful's "Do You Believe In Magic" yes, I do have to put that in, it's a plot point that don't work or only work halfway. The question is, though, is it acceptable to not change the titles of the songs, or do I need to come up with a suitable pun? Also, if you have some you'd like to dump on me, feel free to suggest them! Thanks in advance, guys!
>> No. 114335
Can somepony tell me what the hay OC means?
>> No. 114336
And maybe I should add in some more details.
1. Crepusc is going to turn out to be responsible for the deaths of thousands when he was young and naive, explaining his martyrdom and why he took the position of the prince of twilight.
2. Lets change it to Discord rallying a bunch of bad guys in order to break him free.
3. His sister's love and adore, him but he had personally asked to keep his existance secret, for he felt he did not deserve to be known.
4. If not through Crepusc's point of veiw, then how about on of the mane6?
>> No. 114337
>> No. 114338
"OC" stands for "Original Character." In the context of fan fiction, it means a character who doesn't exist in the canon of the show-- a character you made up just for the purposes of your story. Famous examples would be Little Pip from Fallout: Equestria, or Jigsaw from Antipodes.
>> No. 114341
(thank you) And I agree with DuncanR with the point of him facing true mortality.
>> No. 114342
And his name is supposed to short for "twilight"
in latin. What were you thinking?
>> No. 114347
>1. Crepusc is going to turn out to be responsible for the deaths of thousands when he was young and naive, explaining his martyrdom and why he took the position of the prince of twilight.
Erm... so you're making him tragic and emo? Well, he'll still have to discover something that forces him to change in some way. And whatever it is, it'll probably move him away from "tragic emo" and towards "long and difficult road to redemption." Maybe (1) his martyrdom is actually just pointless self-inflicted suffering that does no real good, or (2) what he did may seem horrific but it had a greater purpose nobody understands, or (3) he's busy seeking the forgiveness of others when he really needs to forgive himself.

>2. Lets change it to Discord rallying a bunch of bad guys in order to break him free.
I don't know what this would change, unless you want to focus more on Discord's ability to rally bad guys. personally, I think it would be more interesting to watch Discord rally a bunch of good guys to do his bidding.

>3. His sister's love and adore, him but he had personally asked to keep his existence secret, for he felt he did not deserve to be known.
So you're making him incredibly popular, even to other godlike beings, but also incredibly humble? This is definitely Marty-Stu territory. Consider: Why do they adore him more than the average relative? What is it about him that makes him adorable? Does he no longer posses these qualities?

>4. If not through Crepusc's point of view, then how about on of the mane6?
I don't think the point of view is the real problem here. It's the premise of the story itself, which is based entirely around your Original Character. An OC is something you can only get away with if s/he is part of a story that is already interesting on it's own merits.

>And I agree with DuncanR with the point of him facing true mortality.
I am glad you find the idea interesting! The core of that idea, however, is forcing the main character to grow or change in an interesting way.

>And his name is supposed to short for "twilight" in latin. What were you thinking?
Oh, I know what it means... but I had to look it up. Before I did, I immediately thought that "Crepusc" sounded like some kind of unpleasant disease or something. Do not pick a name that has an obscure significance: in the two and a half seconds it takes your reader to Google it, they've already made a snap judgment based entirely on what kind of vowels the name includes. The character's name starts with a 'C'? Ooh, he's a bad guy I just know it. It's not fair, but that's the way it goes.
Also, there's already a character in the cartoon whose name is related to dawn and dusk. Perhaps you've heard of her... Twilight Sparkle? Ring any bells?
>> No. 114350
1. Number 2 was what I was trying to get at.
2. That does sound better.
3. I'm not saying he's incredibly popular, I'm just saying that his sister's do appreciate him and that he just doesn't want to be known.
4. I agree.
5. OK.
6. I know, in fact it is going to be Twilight that helps him forgive himself.
>> No. 114363
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So, there's this hypothetical Fallout spinoff called Resource Wars, whose mention I came across on the Fallout Wiki the other day, and I got to thinking: what if we took that idea and added ponies?

That's the high concept, and I've done a bit of brainstorming on it already. Here's what I have so far:

The story would be centered on a platoon of Equestrian mechanized infantry fighting in the Zebra homeland. The war is nearly over by this point, and the ponies are blitzing their way straight to the Zebra capital. Then the bombs fall and the world ends.

Through miraculous circumstances, the platoon survives the apocalypse, for what it's worth. They aren't the only ones, however. The world may have ended, but war, war never changes. The soldiers will have to deal with remnants of the Zebra forces, dwindling supplies, and the hope-crushing reality of simple day-to-day survival as they struggle to find a way back home, even though they know they probably don't have a home to return to.

So, that's where I'm going with this. I've already fleshed out an entire command roster for all 40 members of the platoon, including some basic characterization. I know how they're going to fight, what weapons and tactics they'll use, etc. I have a few major set-pieces planned, and I have a good idea of how the story is going to end.

The devil, of course, is in the details. If anyone can help me with:

1) Ideas for action sequences. I foresee a lot of the fic being firefights and skirmishes, and I fear things will become stale quickly. Interesting scenarios in which to stage a battle are what I'm looking for. Keep in mind, the setting is the Zebra homeland, which in the Fallout: Equestria verse is analogous to China.

2) How to handle all these characters. I've never really dealt with so many people in a story before, so if anyone has such experience, and can give me tips on how to efficiently introduce and develop all these ponies, that'd be much appreciated.

3) How to deal with character deaths. As one might expect, not everyone is going to make it out alive in this fic, but I predict I'll have trouble actually offing my characters. Does anyone have any tips on how to write character deaths and not feel bad about it?

*Whew* Okay, to any brave souls who stuck with me through that wall of text, I ask: thoughts?
>> No. 114367
File 134388506385.png - (116.92KB , 800x600 , 132631991036.png )
hey ponies I'm wondering if anypony can help me figure out how to show somepony as being surprised or shocked at something. Soundslikeponies was keen enough to spot this little error right here, and after four hours of mulling over it, I've got nothing.
“Oh, hey Twilight, hey... what is she doing here?” He asked, suddenly very close to her. Trixie stepped back, slightly taken aback by the dragon’s resentful attitude, before taking back her ground, staring the little creature down.
Also curious about how to make this more subtle

>“Alright, go get ‘em miss Great and Powerful Trixie. Knock ‘em dead kid,” he said, coughing near the end.
>> No. 114391
File 134393028675.png - (189.08KB , 500x282 , are_you_sure_this_will_work.png )
I only ever read part of Fallout: Equestria. But what the hay, I'll see what I can do for you.

1) To make a battle interesting, what you need is an interesting location. If I told you I was just fighting in a desert, you wouldn't be all that interested. If I told you I was fighting in a remote military facility in the New Mexico desert trying to defend a rocket from being destroyed, that would be more interesting. Fill your settings with detail and make sure we know why your combatants are fighting.

2) 40 characters? Good God. That's quite a task. I'd recommend you focus on a few key players, giving the smaller characters a scene or two every now and then. However, if this is a character-driven work, I'd recommend against using "redshirts," or expendable characters that are just there to get killed. I'd recommend that you introduce every character well before you try to shoot them, however. Which leads me nicely into...

3) Allow me to share some advice from someone I hold in high regard. (He was talking about comic books, but I think it still applies.)
"Now, to be honest, I'm actually really against character death in general. Why take away the ability to tell stories about them? But if you're going to kill a character, here's a tip. If you really must kill a character, you make sure it's their crowning moment of awesome. The moment when the readership [sic] looks at that character and says, 'Oh, that is the most badass thing I've ever seen!'" -Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug
What I'm saying here is, don't kill characters off unless you feel you can give them a proper sendoff and/or make sure they didn't die for nothing.

And those are my two bits. Before I go, I'd just like to say I think it's ironic that the Zebras' homeland is equivalent to China. In "Hearts and Hooves Day," after all, we saw two oxen pulling a cart. I bet the creator of Fallout Equestria was kicking himself when that happened.
>> No. 114393
it's a little bit tricky without the context of everything else going on, but I might do something like this:


"Oh, uh, hey Twilight!" Spike hailed as he entered the room. "I was able to find that book about the fifty shades of gray you asked for, but it's got this weird smell and I don't--" He broke off as he noticed Trixie glowering back at him from a short distance. "Hey... what's she doing here...?" he asked, stepping forward to confront the unwanted visitor. Trixie shuffled back a bit before composing herself with a
"hmph!" and returning his leer.


someone like Nick could expound this way better than I can, but you have to be clear with your actions. I had to parse your sentence a few times before I knew what you were actually "getting at" in terms of your blocking. another good tip is to try and condense your adverbial modifiers (think of it as a game where you get the most points for summarizing them with single actions or depictions). pay attention to prosody too, especially when writing dialogue: italicize, take advantage of the "feel" of punctuation, use uh's and um's, etc., and damn the torpedoes.
>> No. 114406
File 134393946284.jpg - (117.24KB , 288x430 , bane-tom-hardy-datk-knight-rises.jpg )
If I may...

>If you really must kill a character, you make sure it's their crowning moment of awesome. The moment when the readership [sic] looks at that character and says, 'Oh, that is the most badass thing I've ever seen!'" -Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug
While that is generally an excellent rule, I would argue that there is a time and a place for deaths that are--well--pathetic.

Death will always affect a reader's feelings towards a work, for it is one of the universal human experiences. Given that, the question becomes one of how you wish to influence those feelings.

*Hero is wounded, lying at the at the feet of Villain. Hero can do nothing but plead that Villain leave Target alone. Villain laughs and shoots Hero in the head.

*Hero and Villain have a knock-down, drag-out fight for control of Target. Villain dies, but Hero only lasts long enough to pass on his last words to Love Intrest before he too passes away, a smile on his face.

*Hero has done it. He's beaten Villain and saved Target. He's a bit roughed up and he's totally exhausted, but it's nothing that some of Love Intrest's home cooking won't fix. He just has to--*BLAM* Mook stands over Hero's body. It must be his lucky day; any other time and Hero would've swatted Mook like a fly.

Those are different deaths from professional works, and each--ideally--evokes a different reaction.

Not all deaths need to be glorious, but you must always think about what you are trying to convey.

Even if--say--you're killing off scores of extras, heh heh heh...
>> No. 114407
...Aaaand I can't spell "interest." [Sighs.]
>> No. 114463
File 134397137439.jpg - (51.58KB , 720x720 , nostalgic pinkamena.jpg )
Yeah, the context probably would help. Basically I've got Trixie as a nice pony, who is trying to explain to Twilight why she's not the mean braggart Twilight met two years prior. Spike walks in and surprises her with his resentment. SLP mentioned it was very telly, but I can't find a way around that.

as for the second one--Spoiler Alert!--the speaker ends up dying by the end of the story, due to a fatal illness that he kept secret from trixie to keep her from ever worrying about him. The coughing is an attempt at foreshadowing, but SLP said it was too obvious.
>> No. 114483
Regarding your spoiler box, I can see why he said that:

Link forthcoming:

>> No. 114504
File 134399067830.png - (96.60KB , 490x283 , 134095605117.png )
and that right there is my problem. I could just cut the foreshadowing altogether, but then the death later would make no sense. however I can't just leave it as it is, because it's far too obvious. I was originally going to go with a heart attack, but I can't figure out how to make that any less obvious.
>> No. 114505
File 134399346158.jpg - (26.64KB , 570x271 , dark-knight-rises-bane-deta-570x271.jpg )
If you have a particualr real-world disease in mind, you could (re?)research it and use a different symptom as the foreshadow.

If it's not a real disease the sky's the limit; you can give him almost any recurring symptom--minor or major--and use that in place of the cough. One story I particularly liked used headaches. The character was introduced as being migrane-prone, and for the most part they only manifested during/after high-stress scenes so they seemed more like a character quirk than a death-flag.

Alternatively, instead of trying to foreshadow it subtly you could pull a bait-and-switch: make it clear from the get-go that he has a slow-acting yet potentially lethal illness, and make it appear throughout the story that he or his friends will find a cure. At the end they don't, and he dies. Bonus tragedy points if the reason they don't is that the bigger issues of the main storyline keep them too busy saving the world or whatnot.
>> No. 114579
Now that I've reread it, I think it's great but I would like to have someone bounce the idea with to smooth some of the parts out.>>108023
>> No. 114582
File 134404101009.jpg - (133.13KB , 660x330 , spoiler.jpg )
I recall a couple of reviewers offered to help people bounce off ideas and plan with people their stories from the beginning, but I don't have a list and I don't know if they still do that.

That makes me wonder, where would one go ask if there if reviewers are doing something or another? I mean, we have the list and a very small description, but there isn't really a reviewers thread were they just answer questions and stuff. Ask in the training grounds? On the Sticky? Lurk each thread until they say so?
>> No. 114585

>> No. 114586
File 134404207967.jpg - (21.27KB , 502x244 , 189981 - Gotye tasty Cupcakes gore.jpg )
Or you could do there.
>> No. 114590

Thanks guys for the help. I'll go and check it out.
>> No. 114595
File 134404468116.jpg - (78.14KB , 640x450 , 134094360303.jpg )
And this my fellow writers is an idea I will never do. One is because I'd have to make them human, and two because where the hell could I make conflict.

An MLP/Pokemon crossover.

Plot: Twilight, a student of Sabrina, goes to Unova to take over a battle club. There, she has to deal with the club’s employees.

Twilight Sycker(Sigh-ker) (Twilight Sparkle)

AJ Smith (Applejack)

Rain Darcy Bowen (Rainbow Dash)

Sharon Flutter(Fluttershy)

Risa Altree(Rarity)

Pinkamena DiannaPiece (Pinkie Pie)


Twilight:Spike(Flygon) Owlowiscious(Noctowl)
Magic(Espion or Gardevoir)


Rainbow Dash:Tank(Torterra)

Fluttershy: Flutter-Wonder(Butterfree)
Rarity:Diamond(Cryogonal) Opalescence(Persian)

Pinkie Pie: Gummy(Totodile) Party (Drifloon)


Twilight: The head of the battle club.

Applejack: The Battle club’s chef and berry grower.

Rarity: Contest Trainer

Rainbow Dash: Battle trainer.

Fluttershy: Nurse

Pinkie Pie: Battle Trainer.
>> No. 114598

Here's some conflict...
They want to travel their world and become the best in the respective fields?

They have to win some prize money to keep their club open?

There is a horrible secret about the other battle clubs in the city that they are unaware of? Involving smart pokemon eating humans.

I could keep going.
>> No. 114601
Okay yes the whole "Save the club!" thing had crossed my mind. But the idea in general was so stupid that i didn't think anyone would want to read it anyway.
>> No. 114605
But you could spice it up with why they have to save it. Um, maybe Cheerlie is against battle clubs and violence and she leading a protest against it?

Trixie swindles the deed to the building and raising the rent as a bit of twisted revenge against Twilight.

Gilda who works at the bank is embezzling the money and their payments for the building isn't getting through and they are on the streets?

Celestia, a strange new pokemon, has appeared and is trying to convince them that they were all poke... ponies and is destroying their lives to make them accept the truth.
>> No. 114621
Might do a combination of one and two. Also, what would fit better for Twilight's pokemon Gardevoir or Espion. In fact do the pokemon fit the characters. On a side note, while I gave them human names (Which I also want an opinion on) they will use the pony names as nicknames for each other.

(On another side note why are all your answers two normal ones then a somewhat morbid one?)
>> No. 114625
I like the human names but I'm a little fuzzy about the pokemon you used so you'll have to talk to someone else about that.

Which group of answers are talking about? Celestia coming in to destroy/rescue their dreams or pokemon manipulating the scenes, eating people to increase their brainpower?
>> No. 114638
Uh kinda both, i mean destroying peoples lives is kinda... eh, then the eating people... I'm gonna have nightmares about Gyarados.
>> No. 114642

Both of those ideas can be greatly expanded upon. Sure, you could take them to their gory or soul-crushing conclusion or you could do something else.

That something else is the stuff of great stories.

It's not to be taken as face-value, but something as a jumping point. Don't go 'oh' to the morbid idea but 'why'.
>> No. 114649
Valid point... Well hell, looks like i might actually write this story.
>> No. 114651
I'll be happy to read it!
>> No. 114878
File 134415804350.png - (150.39KB , 1023x1070 , 134300081997.png )
Hey Story Forge,

Does the elements of harmony's rainbow beam have an official name? I've just been calling it the Harmony Beam so far.
>> No. 114888
In G1 there was the Rainbow of Light (a terrible name, in my opinion); I've heard some folks refer to thw EoH's rainbow by that name.
>> No. 114890
I have to agree that Rainbow of Light is terrible. Think I'll just stick with Harmony Beam, least that way it says where the power is derived from.
>> No. 114929

If you want the "rainbow finishing move" to remain truly epic/mythic, do not give it a name at all. People name things to give themselves a sense of control/familiarity over them.

If you must, you can have one of the mane six give it an informal nickname that the others complain about. They know it doesn't do it justice but they have to call it something, and it ends up catching on. This nickname should never be referred to by the narrator: it's only used by the mane six, and only ever in dialogue.
>> No. 114937
>They know it doesn't do it justice but they have to call it something, and it ends up catching on.

Except, I need to refer to it as something, because 'giant rainbow lazer' just sounds horrible.
>> No. 114943
Purple is a color of the rainbow (well, indigo and violet are):

Off the top of my pointy, purple prose-prone head:

A titanic rainbow shot up from the assembled Elements, twisting and arcing in the air only to come crashing down on [Villain].

Sometimes things don't need names. If you're worried about how the Six would refer to it, I second DuncanR's suggestion.
>> No. 114951

I'm pretty sure It's going to sound horrible no matter what you call it. The more frequently it appears and the more casually it's referred to, the less wonder it will hold for the reader. Personally, I would have been much happier if it had been a unique, one-shot thing: I was very disappointed when they used it against discord simply because it was no longer unique or original.Actually, I thought Discord's final showdown was a huge disappointment in general. Talk about a cheap, unsatisfying win.

Mind you, I don't know what sort of context your story has. If it draws inspiration from Dragonball Z/Sailor Moon/Pokemon, then the mane six will probably shout the name of the attack while they're using it in the midst of a raging battle. In that case, what you call it will depend entirely on the mood and atmosphere of your story: "Giga-Crush Rainbow Breaker" gives a different mood than "Sparkling Rainbow of Purifying Love."

So what's the context within your story? Does the "Rainbow of Noun" kill, disable, or heal? Is it unstoppable or unreliable? Are super-powered attacks rare in your world, or commonplace? Should it evoke hope and happiness, or is it a weapon of last resort that could cause great collateral damage?
>> No. 114953
File 134419680763.png - (150.39KB , 1023x1070 , 134300081997.png )
Esentually i only use it once in the story. Funny you mention Discord because it's essentially a brawl heavy final confrontation with him. The Mane Six use the beam but it doesn't work because Discord has polluted the world and is drawing power from it. He slaughters them save for Twilight who in anger and sadness turns into this pic and fights ensue.
>> No. 114956

Hm. Okay. Well then.

Let's say... the Rainbow of Noun is actually a gestalt or zeitgeist of Twilight's social circle. Whenever friends work together they become more than the sum of their parts. The rainbow embodies the mysterious, inexplicable greatness that seemingly comes out of nowhere when people work together to achieve something great.

On the battlefield, it's actually a mind-control weapon that strips away the target's self-inflicted obsessions and delusions and forces them to truly comprehend the consequences of their actions: Discord is made to momentarily understand the love and friendship Twilight felt, and then experiences the loss and tragedy he's caused by slaying them. This demoralized state leaves him helpless against Twilight Sparkle's assault.

You could also have him experience a torrent of Twilight's happiest memories, giving you an excuse to have extremely vivid hallucinations of the slain friends "join in the battle."

Perhaps the memory of her friends allows her to use all six of the elements at the same time. Sort of a "passing the torch" thing.
>> No. 114963
Why does it need a name? Naming it gives it a solidified existence and implies to define boundaries. Leaving it an unnamed force of nature gives it mystery and power.
>> No. 114964
because writing giant rainbow lazer is stupid
>> No. 114969
In one of the rare occasions I feel the need to intervene, why even mention it is a rainbow comes to mind.

At that instant, all six glowed and streams of light streaked towards Nightmare moon, combining into a blinding white flash.

A terrible sentence, I admit, but the fact is that if the person cannot know what is going on then they might want to actually take more than three second too observe the events of an episode.
>> No. 114984
File 134421588755.jpg - (171.26KB , 1600x1029 , 1313472140951.jpg )
Yup. I gotta back this up. Are you writing a serious scene? Are there pathos involved? Do the lives of characters hang in the balance? If the answer is yes to two or more of these questions, the word 'rainbow' (outside of reference to best pony of course) shouldn't come anywhere near your narration. Specifically if it has anything at all to do with a device you're playing that tilts the deck.
And see, this is why my ponies curse. I just can't write out a serious scene, or hell, even a believable slice-of-life, and have them all going "gosh dang and heck it all". It's just absurd.
>looks at empty whiskey glass
>yep, rambling now, time to shut up
>> No. 114997
Except i don't call it 'rainbow anything'. I call it the Harmony Beam, because it's a concentrated blast of harmonios energy caused by the elements of harmony in a state of perfect unity.
On a side note if I could receive more input on this idea from anyone, I'd appreciate it.
>> No. 114998
File 134421798423.png - (131.42KB , 528x700 , 40662__safe_rainbow-dash.png )
>Harmony Beam
I'm... I'm sorry mate, but that's not much better. In fact, it's... kinda hilarious.
>> No. 115004
File 134421986242.jpg - (41.52KB , 626x470 , ringoflight2.jpg )
Imagining Twilight saying that in a light scene is the only way I don't taste bile.

Given the serious nature of the scene you described, I really recommend not naming it at all.

Since this thread was described as a leave-a-penny-take-a-penny, I'll drop this off: Howzabout a crossover with Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors?

Odds are I can guess anypony's rough age range and mental health level from their first reaction to the contents of that spoiler box.
>> No. 115026
Well, I have to refer to it as something.
>> No. 115047
No you don't.
>> No. 115049
>Why does it need a name? Naming it gives it a solidified existence and implies to define boundaries. Leaving it an unnamed force of nature gives it mystery and power.
Wow, DeJaVu! It's almost like I said this exact same thing myself in an earlier post.

>If you want the "rainbow finishing move" to remain truly epic/mythic, do not give it a name at all. People name things to give themselves a sense of control/familiarity over them.
Oh wait.

if he's going to pick a name no matter what, we may as well help him think of a Less Worse name. I can think of one example of a well named mysterious object: The Lament Configuration from the Hellraiser series. It sounds cool, but it doesn't even remotely explain what it is or where it came from. It actually increases the mystique.
>> No. 115051
File 134422827835.png - (140.32KB , 390x566 , iMOdF.png )
You refer to characters as something. That is because they have (hopefully) been made familiar enough to use abstract titles and pronouns to refer to them.

Physical phenomena aren't the same, and your prose can't suffer from rainbow elements of harmony syndrome the same way it can suffer from lavender unicorn syndrome.

Different treatment for different element of the story. In the case of inanimate objects or phenomena, they're not something to be given a name. If some such thing does have a name, it's because it's getting whipped out frequently enough to warrant a name, because characters who refer to it (and the narrator) can't describe it's appearance every single damn time. The beam produced by the elements of harmony get used at most once per season. Why give it a name? I believe Seattle deems it hilarious because you then give the EoH's beam a treatment in the speech of the narration and characters that is akin to the treatment of a component of a zord or gundam. Like, "fire the [name of weapon here]" and all that jazz.
>> No. 115054
File 134422858446.png - (135.22KB , 327x323 , 133464914492.png )
Your right, I don't. I was just being stubborn and I apologize.

(Not sarcasm. I really do mean it.)
>> No. 115055
>The Lament Configuration from the Hellraiser series.
Though come to think of it, I don't think it was ever referred to by name in the first movie. So signs still point to "no name is better".

Hmm... You could give it a name that only has significance to the mane six: perhaps one of them casually refers to it as "the last resort" or something even more vague, and it just sticks. Or perhaps it's the bad guys who come up with a name for it: they're the ones who need to figure out a countermeasure, after all. Remember in Bat Man Begins, how Scarecrow refers to Batman as "the bat man"? I could clearly hear the space between each word.
>> No. 115372
This story idea popped into my head while I was reading some other fics, but I know I will never be able to get around to writing it. So, here it is.
After a night of excitement and way too many alcoholic beverages, Leonard Hofstadter wakes up to find himself not in his apartment with his insufferable roommate, but, rather, in Ponyville, in the the body of one Twilight Sparkle.
Simultaneously, after a night of equal excitement and alcoholic intake, Twilight Sparkle wakes up to find herself not in her comfy library with her number one assistant, but, rather, in the body of one theoretical physicist, Leonard Hofstadter.
Both characters immediately recognize their surroundings, as each is an avid fan of the other's show. Now Leonard and Twilight must mind a way to get back home without loosing their sanity or screwing up the other character's life beyond repair. Oh, and they have to convince their host bodies' friends that they shouldn't immediately be shipped off to the nearest mental facility for being convinced they are a television show character.
If you're interested in this, please shoot me an email so I can read it whenever you finish. Also, I may not be able to write this, but I'd be happy to proof read.
>> No. 115638
File 134464142774.png - (690.39KB , 659x800 , lyrabon.png )
Here's my "ideas in stasis" board. Warning, some of this is straight-up crazy.

Skywishes: A blind bag pegasus whose cutie mark is a kite. Her cutie mark is a toy that helps little ones feel closer to the sky...

Dash carries Twilight in a harness. Together, they clear the skies of bandits in the Battle of Appleloosa, establishing Equestrian air superiority for years to come.

Deep exploration of unicorn culture like I'm currently doing for pegasus culture

Fic told entirely in future tense. Future perfect would just be cumbersome.

Metamorphic fic told via updating existing chapters to change its meaning or tell the same story various ways

Friendship: The Gathering (phyresis'd Discord as villain)

Applejack human Futa/M bondage. "Y'sure 'bout this, sugar? I heard of humans gettin' themselves killed doin' this. I don' mean gettin' bucked in the head neither. I'm talkin' internal bleedin'."

Scootaloo has a crisis; coming to terms with an identity as a pegasus yet being unable to fly. Perhaps only realizes her handicap at puberty or gets a cutie mark and realizes that the only reason she wouldn't be able to fly would be a handicap. Based on fanon of her, having her not realize that she's handicapped until she gets to an age where she REALLY should be able to fly would just crush her. Having her get over that and find herself a secure identity would make for a beautiful story.
>> No. 115639
Missed one.

Five thousand years after the conclusion of the Conversion Bureau project, they still remember, albeit in a different form. There is a grain of truth to the myth that they tell their little ones about how their people began. In the beginning, they were called "in-betweeners" for the fact that they were failed experiments with amorphous forms who chose to emulate ponies out of a desire to be like ponies. Today, they are called changelings, and never for a single day in five thousand years did they forget their jealousy and hatred.
>> No. 115726
I hate to nitpick, but the proper term is Compleated /MTG nerd
>> No. 115974
I suppose this is like a brainstorming thread.

Anyway, I need to find a way of how Rainbow Dash goes blind from an accident. But I want to make the cause a supernatural and unexpected one. I was inspired by the askblinddash tumblr to finally write a fanfic. I need help on this.
>> No. 115980
File 134489869193.jpg - (7.02KB , 207x243 , 24368341328.jpg )
It's not really that difficult, depending on which content rating you want. I could easily go all Happy Tree Friends on it, but that would violate Ponychan's gore content guidelines. Anyway, supernatural and unexpected way to make RD go blind... The context would be important. Is this going to be a random or comedy fic? That would open a world of possibilites.
>> No. 115982
New strain of Poison Joke?
>> No. 115983

It's kind of like a fic where she develops a supernatural power after going blind and becoming powerful, and she sees things ponies with normal sight can't see.
>> No. 115984
Good, old lighting bolts is my suggestion. Maybe a lightning bolt from a freak storm in the everfree.
>> No. 115991
Working on a Pony x Digimon fanfic dealing with the Royal Knights and the ponies working together

I just need a name for one of the villains... he is an earth pony that is made up of lost data that was sent by the master for his Resurrection from the legendary digital war... I just need a name that sounds good for a computer based pony.

I was originally going to go with Viral, but decided to use it for the other villain since it does have a feminine sound to it.

any suggestions?
>> No. 116105
File 134495054920.png - (116.16KB , 610x542 , 4628_quizzical_scootaloo_by_moongazeponies-d3e5zo6_png-610x0.png )
Kinda reminds me of DareDevil
I like that idea. here ya go, from Anon to Anon.
>> No. 116335
Hey guys,

Sorry to swing by and drop this out of nowhere, but I have an emotionally harrowing problem involving my writing.

It's not so much an issue of what to write about as it is the motivation to find the experience worth it.

Four months ago I finished a story that I've worked very hard on since January. It's the minimum length for a novel (at least 75,000 words) and I basically poured my heart and soul into it -- it meant a lot to me, especially since I'd never written a book let alone completed a story before, and I don't even try to write something unless it means a lot to me like that.

It got some really nice reviews, never anything really bad, but is almost completely unnoticed, and I almost never hear anything about it anywhere. I figured I'd wait a little and see if I'd get anything else; no dice. It wasn't necessarily popularity I was after, but I was just dumbfounded that something I worked so hard on got so little recognition in comparison. It worsened my already awful self-esteem and I have not wrote anything since.

Now I'm finding the urge to try to write again, but I'm hesitant and reluctant, afraid of being disappointed again. I know exactly what I want to write about, with a beginning, middle and end, a clear idea of which characters and themes I want to focus on, with just some plot elements left; but I'm not convinced that it would be worth the effort.

What can I do to change my outlook about this? How can I gain the necessary amount of confidence required to go through with it?
>> No. 116339
File 134508987076.jpg - (8.44KB , 320x240 , _4ey.jpg )
I think if you enjoy writing it, it doesn't really matter how well received it is. (That said, don't use your enjoyment as an excuse against self-improvement.)

It's not uncommon for reception to be completely unlike what the author expected. TVTropes likes to call it "Magnum Opus Dissonance". Some of their examples:
>Ender's Game was originally just another short story that Orson Scott Card wrote to pay the bills.
>Arthur Conan Doyle created [Sherlock Holmes] . . . in order to pay the bills
>Anthony Burgess resents that he's best known for A Clockwork Orange, which he thought shallow compared to his other works.

On that last one, here's a bit from Anthony Burgess: "We all suffer from the popular desire to make the known notorious. The book I am best known for, or only known for, is a novel I am prepared to repudiate: written a quarter of a century ago, a jeu d'esprit knocked off for money in three weeks, it became known as the raw material for a film which seemed to glorify sex and violence. The film made it easy for readers of the book to misunderstand what it was about, and the misunderstanding will pursue me until I die. I should not have written the book because of this danger of misinterpretation."

Essentially, even the best of us can't know how something will be received, and what that means is you shouldn't be let down by one bad story. If you wrote, say, fifty novels, all of which you thought were great, and all of which were poorly received, then maybe it would be good time to ask yourself "Am I really any good at this?" But one failure is not worth worrying about. One failure is not even near the required amount.

Write more, think less. I find it's often too easy for writer-types to overthink themselves into a mess.

I should take my own advice.
>> No. 116340
Why did you write your novel, precisely?

You say you didn't do it for popularity--which is good--but it's important to know why you did. Was there an idea in your head that would not let you rest? Did you have a message to convey, or a concept to explore? Or was it all just a lark?

Try to recall your reason, and keep it in mind when your disappointment waxes.

Similarly, ask yourself why you're inclined to write this new work. If your motive is good enough--and only you can judge that--you'll make it through.
>> No. 116345
File 134509239392.jpg - (2.62MB , 1920x1080 , Twilight's Epic Magic.jpg )
I would like to write a basic short story before I start writing real fanfics, if I even do, to see if I can even write a good fanfic and keep a good pace. I have 2 ideas, but I can't pick which one I like better and and I only want to write one, then have people say what they like and don't like about it once I write it, so here are my ideas:

A New Way:
Based off the story with Scootaloo told in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UztWnWOdAyc
Basically the script would be that Scootaloo gets to hang out with Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash easily tells that Scootaloo can't fly, but she does notice that Scootaloo can ride her scooter quite well. She of course thinks that Scootaloo's cutie mark might be at least related to this and she tries to help Scootaloo with this while Scootaloo slowly learns that she can not be like Rainbow Dash, but that still doesn't mean she can not be an amazing pony.

Based off the story told in this video:
Applejack ends up in a train crash on a trip to Appaloosa, causing her to have brain damage. She and her family must deal with this new change of way whilst they happen to learn more about Applejack at the same time, and Twilight tries to find a cure. If this idea is picked I can't decide whether making the ending that she stays the way she is, or that she ends up getting better somehow. Maybe I could even have it so that the reader makes the decision for Twilight leading to 3 or 2 different endings.

Which one do you guys think is better? Please give me some advice for the one I do choose, maybe an idea if you think that I need it. I think I can write properly, don't think that they way I am writing this is going to be the way that I write the story either, because I won't do such things as use as many pauses as I do, well, as long as characters are not talking or thinking.
>> No. 116348
if something is moving you to write, be grateful for that spark, and seize the opportunity to work. don't be too precious about it -- you'll write other things as you pursue your voice. generally, artists make a lot of stuff (there's a Bach box set with 170+ CD's of original music, for instance); the more you do it, the easier it gets to do what you do, at least on a technical level. when you write your first novel, there is drama in the completion of the task itself; but around the third or fourth, you can just do it, and outside approval becomes less of an important driving factor (though of course it's nice to have readership).

another thing to remember is that no work of quality is ever wasted. when you meet a challenge or follow through on a commitment over time, you grow from it, and the result spreads into all areas of your life, not to mention your specific field of endeavor. I bet once you begin writing your new story, you'll notice you're capable of things you wouldn't have been able to do in January (and you may totally forget about that first novel!)
>> No. 116349
File 134509361111.png - (806.02KB , 1276x714 , Fancy Pants and Fleur-De-Lis.png )
Does anyone know if there have been any fics depicting Fleur De Lis as a con artist? I know I heard a few people joke about it in threads on /show/ and what not, but I don't know if there have been any fics regarding the subject. I had an idea for a story like that, but I don't want to pursue it if the exact idea has already been done before...
>> No. 116350
File 134509403584.jpg - (9.31KB , 156x192 , spellcard_2.jpg )
>Which one do you guys think is better?
Personally, number 1 seems a lot better, just because number 2 sounds, off the bat, like "bren dmg wah this is sad you should feel sad". Maybe it's just me being jaded speaking, but I've never felt much for tragedies befalling ponies. Then again, it all boils down to the execution, and you can't improve on that without starting to write.

So, yeah. I'd go with number 1. Originally, I wanted to ask you to flip a coin and choose based on that, since as a first fic the best you can come out with isn't a good fic but a learning experience, but brain damage as a plot device is just, well, rather overdone.
>> No. 116351
File 134509438641.png - (582.76KB , 885x700 , Applejack Bored.png )

I didn't want her to seem retarded really, I wanted to have gotten a sort of alzheimer's, and sort of like random moments of screaming, I don't know about that, but I think it might be slightly necessary. I feel myself leaning more towards the second one, and that is because, honestly, I think I could write the second one better than the first since I have a slight bit more ideas for the second one plus I do not know how it would go a long, though honestly I can't think too well for how it would go for the second one either, almost as much, but I can think of how it would go slightly slightly more.
>> No. 116353
File 134509600930.jpg - (9.18KB , 205x246 , carefree.jpg )
>I feel myself leaning more towards the second
Then there you go.
>> No. 116354
File 134509599886.png - (253.73KB , 1280x720 , Applejack Looking Sad.png )

Okay. I was just worried about what you said, because you do prove a point.
>> No. 116356
Not that I've seen, no. I've seen model, socialite, businessmare, and--once--bodyguard, but not con mare.
>> No. 116365
File 134509824210.png - (476.14KB , 1280x730 , 109790 - celestia shipping twilight_sparkle.png )
There could be several factors. Short fics tend to get higher viewership, because ADHD. The genre you wrote might be a less popular one. Some readers may not want to dive into a longer fic without having a smaller sample of the same author to read. Also consider that there's a LOT of writers out there of varying skill, writing a LOT of stories of varying appeal. Your fic will struggle in part, not because of your own merits, but just due to being one fish in the ocean.

Consider also, that as people discover your second fic, they may like it and discover your first fic as a result. I've seen this personally, to some small extent. And this phenomenon is certainly true for certain prolific writers on FimFic, thanks to the oft-bitched-about feedback loop.

Also, you yourself said that you poured your heart and soul into it. You secretly wish for it to be successful—we all wish this, some more than others. But are you not proud of your work for its own merits? Are you not proud of yourself for pouring yourself into that story for several months and seeing it to completion?

The other commenters raised good points though. You should ultimately write for "yourself", insofar as getting out of writing what you seek to get out of writing. For me, a large part is the feeling of connecting with a reader and sharing an experience. Having 10,000 of those connections would be swell, certainly. But if just one reader leaves a comment about how a particular scene floored them, that single shared emotion is enough for me. Aside from that, my joy is derived simply from making something that I wanted to exist, exist.

So, yes. Hold fast to your own reasons, and more likely than not, you'll go for it, because you'll find that you're compelled to.
>> No. 116371
File 134510010641.jpg - (13.38KB , 244x207 , righto.jpg )
Like so many others here will tell you, write the story you want to write. Even if it's a self-insert Gary Stu Brony-turned-Alicorn-in-Equestria involving a six-on-one date with copious amounts of adoration and Pinkie Pie parties. Getting people to like it is another thing, of course, but that's a whole 'nuther monster, and you've said that you're looking to improve. That's all we could ask for, really.
>> No. 116380
Miyajima's Fleurdeliser springs to mind.


Just wanted to echo what everyone else has said. I've got a novel from 2008 sitting in a drawer at home. No-one has ever read it, but I know that I enjoyed writing it and that it taught me a lot of things about writing. I see it as a stepping stone to even better things.

Now that you've written a novel, you know you can do it. Even if it isn't universally adored or even noticed much, you can say to yourself "I wrote a novel". Just being able to finish a long project like that is an achievement that puts you ahead of a lot of people.

If you want to start a new project, think about what you learnt from the old one -- the things about the process you enjoyed, the things you didn't enjoy, and the things you might write differently if you had to do it over. Then apply those things to your next project and rest assured that it will most probably be an improvement.

On the practical, popularity-horsing side, consider releasing things serially in future – it should encourage folk to check out the first chapter and fave the fic instead of just dumping it in the read later bin as they would were it complete (so guilty of this).
>> No. 116419
Masturbatory writing is a terrible thing.
>> No. 116474
Hey, peeps! I need some ideas for a fanfic I'm doing. It's about when The Mane Six get caught in the human realm. And yes, they're huminized. I have an idea on how's it's going to happen, but I need more ideas or else the story is going to be crap.
whoever's going to help me, say: PONIES ROCK!!!!! XD
>> No. 116485
File 134516960093.jpg - (141.49KB , 945x945 , 134479578084.jpg )
It sounds like you've only got the premise, so the next step--in my opinion--would be the conflict. Do the Six want to get home? Is that even an option, or do they have to settle in and get used to being human? Maybe they can go back, but only some of them want to: how does that test their friendships?

You can also explore all the problems that come with suddenly being another species. Balancing on two legs without even a tail, for instance, or those weird claw-like things where their forehooves should be.

Then there's their powers. Don't forget, our girls have a heck of a lot of abilities between them; how do they handle losing them suddenly? Magic is as natural as breathing for Twilight--and second nature to Rarity, too--so what happens to a unicorn with no horn? A pegasus with no wings? A Pinkie with no... Pinkie... ness...?

Or do they lose their powers? Maybe they're humans with super-human abilities, like AJ's incredible strength or Fluttershy's Stare? If you make Dash human, is she essentially the Flash?

Well, I'm tapped. Hope I gave you somewhere to go.
>> No. 116487
Yes! Yes it did! XD
I would make a thread about this but
1: since im a newb at this. I thought i was making a thread and turns out i did a reply.
2: im on my nook and i cant make a new thread without a pic so...yeeaaah.
If I did make a thread, I would have probably explained the story more.
But thanks again. That gave me some great ideas!
>> No. 116494
File 134517687630.png - (175.41KB , 1000x1000 , mlfw226_Fluttershy09.png )
You're very welcome! I'm glad I was able to help!
>> No. 116513
Also,how do you plan the stories? It's giving me a hard time planning it out ans...i just don't know how to do it! Help!
>> No. 116520
File 134521247559.jpg - (354.48KB , 750x1000 , 174431_-_artist_blockeraser_box_chaos_screwball_screw_ball_thinking_outside_the_box.jpg )
My way of planning is weird--and doesn't work for everypony--but here goes:

Once I've got my premise and conflict, I make a bare-bones outline of key events/scenes/lines of dialogue. Sometimes this includes the ending of the story, sometimes not. I always make a starting point, though.

(Actually, before the conflict step I make characters, but of course in fanfiction there are many made for you.)

Then I write the first scene, with some or all of the characters present depending on what my outline demands.

Here's where I weird some folks out.

From here on out, I "listen." I let the characters decide what they want to do, and I record it. I'll nudge them--or drop in new plot elements--if they stray too far from the outline, but mostly I let them do their thing. In a sense, I'm the first audience member.

That's how I like to think of it, anyway. A less unsettling way to phrase it might be that I delegate the writing to my unconscious while I'm off doing other things like listening to music or filing paperwork at my job.

The best part about my technique is that the characters can surprise you. I had one character tell me who she loved, even though I hadn't planned to ship her and I'd already decided that her love interest was crushing on somepony else. Later a pony told me that they were an enemy agent. I called horseapples on that, but when I went back it turned out that that revelation had already been foreshadowed.

So yeah. Good times.
>> No. 116524
File 134521540808.png - (163.12KB , 500x312 , playopen[1].png )
Well I'm right there with you in Weirdville. During my brainstorming, I often feel like the director of some sorta improv theater. I have a pretty good base outline by this point, so I know roughly what's supposed to happen in the scene, but then I just let the ponies do their own thing. The dialogue, staging, motivation, pacing—they wing all of this stuff for me. Like a director, I'll often have to call "cut", ask for another take, ensure that this scene (as played) connects seamlessly to the scene prior and after, and so on. But anymore, one of the first few "takes" usually gets me 95% of the way there; I may simply need to call back the actresses to re-record a few lines. I'm one of those active imagination types, so listening to the ponies in my head is just the most natural way to create the story. Of course then, at the end I need to write the novelization of this improv performance, which is where the whole thing falls to shite. :P

I can't say that an actress has yet approached me with a major rewrite of the plot. They certainly have, however, recommended additional minor scenes to flush out some plot threads that arose during an improv moment.
>> No. 116559
Thanks so much! I heard stuff like that where they can write stuff out of subconciousness, or however you spell that.

I might be doing that. I have a pretty strong imagination, but since I'm still young, maybe if I write enough that will happen.

Also, I only got the premise down. I don't really have the conflicts or ideas for it yet. I'm just the kind of person who just plans it as it goes along, and then I get stuck and have no where to go, making me have to rewrite the whole thing again. But, yea. I just need to plan on what's going on. Probably study the character's personality more too. That will help me write it subconciously.
>> No. 116574
File 134525220996.gif - (1.83MB , 450x300 , 209n4uw.gif )
Right, I got some ideas:

1. Blueblood finds a foal by a dead mare in an alley while going through Manehattan and is forced to temporarily look after her until authorities can find her nonexistent relatives.

2. In the city of Haylem, near Manehattan, the police force/Royal Guard there are extremely corrupt and try to spur on "Mareoine", "Fissure", and other drug-related epidemics. A group of community-minded citizens who've taken too much abuse from the law eventually form together under the name of the "Haylem Knights", which essentially would be the equivalent of the BPP. They eventually find ways to route out the law enforcement by directly revolting in riots, etc..

3. Far, far away, past all known national borders lies what's called the Edge of the World. Some time after Daring Do's adventures, her son decides he wants to make a name himself, one that would put him on par with his mother. His mission becomes to find a way to the Edge of the World and break past it to see what's on the other side and report back. Celestia, however, doesn't want this influencing other ponies so they don't lose their lives for a unattainable effort, so she attempts to prevent him from continuing at every turn. He makes his way across Equestria and through several other countries, running into familiar faces such as Trixie and Gilda and getting their assistance.

Eventually, he reaches the Edge, which is guarded by two beings, one being Discord and the other Nightmare Moon. Being in their own environment and far more pacified after their defeats, they attempt to convince him otherwise, stating he wouldn't survive the journey through the incredibly harsh environment that is the Edge. The world by the Edge is twisted and broken, as evidenced by the Moon blocking out the Sun and mountains in the sky, etc.. Somehow, he makes it past the Edge towards what's only referenced in old texts as the Old World, showing massive, dilapidated cities and the such. Not sure what else with that idea, though.
>> No. 116575
File 134525229907.jpg - (312.47KB , 593x600 , spoiler.jpg )

Forgot one.

4. In regards to the city of Haylem, Celestia notices the city completely ravaged by drugs and crime and decides to call upon the original founders of the city from thousands of years ago to return it to its former glory. She then teleports The Diplomats, also known as Dipset, to Haylem to straighten things out and generally make it a better place to live. That is, until 50 Cent and G-Unit are summoned by Chrysalis to try and stop Dipset from doing their job, creating an eruption of violence to break out between groups.
>> No. 116744
How do you guard against creating stories that sound like "See Spot Run"?
>> No. 116762
File 134540157356.png - (972.59KB , 1150x1600 , 119003 - Midna ponified_midna pony Zelda.png )
Sentence variety.

Twilight Sparkle walked downstairs. Looking out the window, she poured a cup of tea while humming to herself. "Gee, it sure is boring around here," she said. Twilight stretched her forelegs above her head and let loose a noisy yawn.

Basically, mix short and long sentences; proper names and pronouns; actions, speech, and body language. It's one of those points that you have to stay constantly mindful of.
>> No. 116806

.....I think this is the first time I got straightforward, yet good, not sarcastic nor horribly obvious advice on Ponychan. Thanks.
>> No. 116810
Where do you get your inspiration/genesis/motivation for your stories?
>> No. 116956
For me, it's reading other stories. That's where I get my inspiration from.
>> No. 116961
File 134554840366.png - (137.19KB , 618x389 , 132653362977.png )
I kinda do the same thing. I read other stories, and I notice small, insignificant details and go, "hey, that would make a neat story" then begins the brainstorming and storymapping phase.
>> No. 116965
File 134554916906.jpg - (76.84KB , 873x960 , 526264_278785998872757_221602987924392_621638_1863152792_n.jpg )
Not sure why I'm throwing my voice in here because Anon probably won't see this, but...

Don't sweat it. If you enjoyed writing it, all the better for you. Just keep writing, and build an audience. your older works will get views by association. I write a lot of short stories, most of which are well received by the fifty or so ponies that end up reading them. They live for about three weeks, then die out. So I write more, same thing happens, but as the newest one gets about 30 likes, I often get messages saying that somepony has favorited that story I wrote four months ago.

If they like one story you wrote, chances are they'll like the others too, and they know this. Just keep doing what you love, and your audience will grow.
>> No. 117039
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hey, so i have an idea, and I want you people to tell me what you guys think.

The stroy starts out about 120 years after my little pony, their technology and archetecture has skyrocketed since, specifically technology where in the span of 120 years fewer and fewer unicorns are being born with the ability to make magic.

Even princess celestia has almost run out of magic herself.

The story revolves around a male teenage unicorn named "Dakota" and he is one depressed and cyincal person. however one day he misses his stop on the local tram, and accidentally fall asleep, when he does he ends up in the outskirts of town, near the mountains, he is stuck there for several hours as he thought that this was his stop to get off, and now has to wait for the next tram to go around again.

there he takes a small trip through the mountains to pass the time, and when he does he stumbles upon a 100 year old dragon, this 100 year old dragon tells dakota that he has a great magical power sealed within him. and that he has been teaching magic to another pony named "lilyac"

convinced he goes to the dragon to learn magic, while the rest of the world is slowly phasing out of magic and into technology.

this is a bad thing, because this is causing the ponies to cause disharmony. and ulimatly releases Discord out of his stine imprisment. And guess who has to fucking stop him?

so feed back, thoughts?
>> No. 117086
File 134565022977.png - (39.44KB , 125x115 , 133884823007s.png )
You mean, "Is it a good story?"? That all depends on you. You've got a well developed story frame there, although you could use some work on your grammar and punctuation. If you think you can pull it off --which you ought to-- I say go for it.

That last fucking word was a tad unnecessary.
>> No. 117153
Um, I have an idea. Rainbow Dash reacts realistically after TMMDW episode, meaning that she flies off after punching Twilight in the face, winds up somewhere in Canterlot, where she runs into either this universe's version of Batman or the writer of the Batman comics. In either case, both are washed-out versions of their former selves and Rainbow is a huge fan. Hearing Rainbow's plight, he is inspired to train Rainbow, and he turns her onto being a real vigilante. His "I work alone," anti-friend/companionship shtick really gets to her, causing an even greater rift to form between her and her friends, causing her to question their integrity and her own element as she reviews their actions during the episode.

Her friends search for and do find her, but she's colder and more distant. She comes up with a legitimate excuse to stay in Canterlot, taking a promotion from the Weather Patrol she had turned down before to stay in Ponyville. Her friends send letters, but she becomes more embittered toward them and less and less involved, letting them clutter up her mailbox without reading them eventually.

Around this time, the mentor character (Batman as a pony or the writer of Batman), sees fit to test Dash by making her go out into Canterlot to fight crime as he once did/wrote about. Rainbow Dash, similarly to how Batman took the bat and made it his own, makes Mare-Do-Well her own, a personal symbol about betrayal and the failure of friendship. If you want to look into it, it's about her lost identity at this time. Rainbow Dash is a textbook cheesy hero, and the scenes here have a lot of potential for some fun parody and satire of the superhero genre in the tone of the show. She, of course, kicks some serious flank, and as she continues her work, she causes the Princesses, and the country, to take notice. This is particularly unfortunate given that her friends know of her and her situation. She rushes around to cities all across Equestria, discovering hints of a conspiracy in Canterlot. However, she's not exactly the world's greatest detective, and she is becoming more and more tired from having to do her work and keep up a secret identity. Her boss sends her to Ponyville to vacation, noticing the exhaustion, pulling out the letters as evidence that she had things to make right there. Knowing that she must keep up her training, the mentor character gives her a guide to being a superhero. Again, tons of room here for fun parody.

She returns, brushing off her friends and giving Applejack a piece of her mind when she follows. The other characters are baffled by her behavior and are even a bit rude to her because of it. Twilight tries to talk to her, but she just seems hurt and rushes off. (in this story, they're reading buddies who hang out a lot and are rather close). In this section of the story, Rainbow Dash tries to keep her identity a secret while her friends are trying to figure out what's wrong with her and why's she so mean all of a sudden, partially on behalf of the Princess Celestia herself. Dash also tries to figure out the big mystery around Canterlot, but is too tired and stressed to connect the dots. All of her friends, especially Twilight, try to talk to her and befriend her again, but she's conflicted between her friends and the advice her book gives her (which has more room for parody, by the way. She makes a secret lair and everything, with HORRIBLE names for everything). It isn't until Rainbow Dash confesses her reasons for being mad and hurt to Applejack and Applejack DEFENDS what they did that she has a breakdown and allows Twilight to talk to her. Twilight explains how it was all her fault and that she shouldn't blame anyone else, and the two begin to rekindle their friendship (in this story, they're reading buddies who hang out a lot and are rather close). She starts being friendly to Fluttershy and Pinkie again, but Rarity and Applejack are less than willing to accept their former friend (not that she was exactly extending the olive branch) to them, so they don't exactly all hang out. While she's okay with PP and FS, she mostly hangs with Twilight, hiding herself from the others, eventually staying with her instead of on some cloud or in her lair. This is the big conflict of the story: Rainbow Dash's identity crisis and the ties of it to her friends, and the AJ fight and the events afterwards are around where it starts building up to a fever pitch.

Twilight begins to figure out what's going on because Dash doesn't really stay until the morning, not to mention that she's begun to figure out that not all is quite right in Equestria. She figures out Dash's identity, and while there is some fear from Dash, she trusts Twilight, and after consulting her book (and hearing Twilight talk about tons of things she hadn't figured out yet), she invites her on as her sidekick, going by her book and Twilight's logic. Twilight isn't thrilled with vigilante...ism, but she's attached to Dash and want's to figure out what's going on, not to mention there has been some suspicious behavior from Celestia lately. She resolves to stay behind and research while Dash does the dirty work. A few days later, Twilight announces intentions to go with Rainbow Dash to Canterlot shortly after on "some business for the Princess" (in reality finding things out with Dash), and then marvelously chews out AJ (sorry, gal, I love you, but you need a character arc!). They decide to stay one last night, but it appears that they've dug too far, as they've attracted the attention of what appears to be the royal guard. They search for Dash and Mare-Do Well, not realizing that they are the same pony, and when they realize Twilight has gone missing, they assume that she's connected.

When they arrive in Canterlot, they find that the mentor character has been arrested in connection to the sightings of him with Mare-Do-Well, and there's a witch hunt for Dash, Mare-Do-Well, and Twilight, seemingly headed by Princess Celestia herself. Twilight still is uneasy with things, but she leaps into the action with Dash as they investigate the corruption further. (The scene where Twi goes out with Dash for the first time to fight crime is supposed to be a welcome break from all the darkgrim grimdark stuff. PURE comic gold.) Luna herself eventually signals for them using something similar to the Bat Signal, as she explains how Celestia isn't fond of vigilantes but how she (Luna) recognizes their progress and their ability to do more than the princesses could, AND how Celestia is being rather strange as of late. This is meant to show the growing divide between the princesses. I don't see them teaming up, unfortunately, but she becomes the Commissioner Gordon, of sorts, feeding them information. I really want there to be a "Rainbow Dash disappears while Luna is talking about both Twi and Luna are completely surprised" scene. It just must be. They grow closer as they work and develop a nice dynamic and build an extremely close friendship. This is also the point where Mare Do Well becomes a symbol against crime and a symbol of hope for the citizens who have become disenfranchised with the princesses because of the lack of action about the growing crime rate in Canterlot and the new goings on. And of course, a growing black and grey morality springs up because of their need to steal to eat and such.

After gathering a large piece of evidence after busting a hideout, Twilight is kidnapped. It's either during the raid or sometimes during the night when Twilight is at the hideout researching. No real preference. The point is that Dashie finds a note about Twi and the mentor character being held hostage, she needs to bring her evidence and the costume, blah, blah, blah. She goes to an underground cellar in suit, determined to bust some heads. There's a big bad in there I'm really tempted to make Blueblood (although I know that he wouldn't have the balls or the charisma to be the big bad) who figures out she's there and gets her to come down to negotiate. When he/she threatens Twilight, he/she doesn't know what she's getting into, because Dash figures out that she's in love with her and that she'd easily die if she could make sure that Twilight would be safe. Nothing being more dangerous than a pony ready to lose everything, tensions rise to a climax, and there's a standoff.

Just then, the rest of the mane six come in to kick some flank. Of course they'd put things together, and, with a lack of response from Celestia, had Spike-mailed Luna, who gave them the location of the raid, and they'd investigated stuff and blahblahblah. They still get overpowered, though. Rainbow Dash declares her love for Twilight as her last words, Luna and Celestia blaze in to kick some ass, showing how that Celestia was kinda a bitch, but she had everyone's best interests at heart and wasn't a part of the conspiracy. They all reconcile, Protagonist and Love Interest kiss, and all is right with the world. Also, everyone loves AJ again because no one can hate AJ. And the mentor character loves friendship. Kind of. Because he still must be dark and edgy.

...Well, that could have been a worse 1500 words, even though no one will pick this up.
>> No. 117154

All in all, this should be a story that mimics the original Batman cartoon but with comedy, heart, friendship, and some sappy shipping. It also probably shouldn't be as dark as I may have made it sound, but pretty damn close to that. It's also about Rainbow Dash's character separate from her element and a search for who she really is, the citizens relationship to the princesses, and the princesses relationship with each other. If you don't address those, there's no point in writing this.
>> No. 117174
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Okay, so. I seem to naturally fall into this sort of writing style. I want to know whether it's something that's at all readable and/or interesting, and whether I could reasonably sustain a novella-length or longer story in this style.

If it comes off as LOLSORANDOM, then I've failed, because I mean every object and idea I introduce (for example, "grating cheese") to have permanence and relevance. I'm not trying to write "Meatballs Save Twilight's Life", I'm trying to write serious fiction (hurr durr fanfiction is srs bsns).

So, uh, yeah. Thoughts would be appreciated. What follows are some fragments in the style that I'm trying to write in. They'll likely be expanded into longer scenes if I decide to commit to this style.


lol u mad? said Celestia, with a grin.

Yes, said the brony.

The two stared each other down. With a chessmaster's sensibility, the brony recognized her last knavish opportunity, and jumped.

I don't suppose you know where your sister is right now? said the brony.

Loo? Why, she's grating cheese, said Celestia, her victorious grin spreading ever wider.

Damn, thought the brony. Damn.

Howzabout an ultimatum, smackadoodle? said Celestia. You can keep your penthouse and your consumptive hedonism. But give over THE SHRAKE.

Damn. Dammmammamarmalade

U jelly? The smugness oozed from Celestia's expression like marmalade.

You win, O magna principissa. THE SHRAKE floated genially into Celestia's gelatinous psychic handshake.

Ta-ta, brony. Ego hodie superavi. Celestia motioned with her tongue as if she were lasciviously tasting the air.

Go die in a supernova.

This biting retort did not console the brony. So she turned to wine.


Applejack bucked, and cherries fell. Applejack bucked, and bananas fell. Applejack bucked, and another bit of bark crabbed itself off the slumpy sprout.

Sure am glad to have you here, Willow. Nopony else around has an allfruit tree. Only dern one in the world 'sfar 's I know.

Willow didn't say anything.

Reckon lots of ponies owe you their lives these past few winters. (Applejack bucked)

Reckon most of 'em don't even know it; (Applejack bucked)

Because we keptcha a secret.

Applejack bucked, and mangoes fell.


Twilight made out with her picture of Celestia. She kissed it, worked her lips around its frame, licked its edges. She spat on it in order to "wetten it up," pretending that Celestia was giving her an amorous tongue-lashing. She wrapped herself up in fantasy like a mummy in rags.

Over time, the picture had grown stains.

Twilight looked longingly at her goo boo, straining herself, as if she meant by sheer force of will to careen into a state of psychedelic insanity, where she could be united with her Princess and bask in the piercing warmth of her gloriously intimate rays. But the hallucinations failed to materialize, and she stuffed the picture into a trunk. Then, with automatic effort, she brushed her mane and looked over her record of the previous day's activities.
>> No. 117498
First post in the story forge, awesome.
Now, can anyone tell me this:
Has there ever been a fic about Nightmare Moon winning, but not actually about her, but about how eternal night pretty much screws up most of the food supply. Then instead of the typical OC main character aiming to defeat Nightmare Moon, they instead try to get enough food to everypony in Equestria.
>> No. 117502
Continued on: And what do you think of that story idea?
>> No. 117509
File 134600221019.png - (828.50KB , 900x636 , mlp___under_burning_skies_by_huussii-d59grv6.png )
There was a short tragedy fic about Celestia being deposed by Luna and the main six (it might have been the original Lunar Republic story, in fact), only for them to discover that Luna couldn't control the sun and having Equestria freeze over from lack of the sun's heat.

I can't think of anything that tried to turn the whole Eternal Night thing into a desperate attempt to survive a world without sunlight; most stories just use magic (Past Sins had, um, moon apples I think?) and ignore that particular piece of information. Antipodes has a similar thing with the tidal locking of the planet that only leaves a single temperate equator between the sun-baked side and the cold, desolate dark side, but I don't remember the story letting it do more than play second fiddle to the semi-aimless wandering.

While I would like more information on the story idea, I personally think it's a good one. I enjoy the sorts of stories that delve onto ground that other work dares not tread upon. Just promise me there won't be any Matrix Revolutions-style Zion End-of-the-World raves/orgies.
>> No. 117521
Ok basically here's the premise:
The fanfic is basically set in an alternate universe where Twilight Sparkle died in the Everfree forest in episode 2 (the part with the cliff, and Applejack finding her honesty). It follows a simple mare who's been taking in to work at the Manehatten border giving out food supplies imported from Zebra Country (if there's a fanon name for that, do tell).

It basically tells the story of a few key events that lead to her having enough and setting out in a search to find some way to let ponies grow food once more.Some of these events include: A huge riot on a particularly food-scarce day. Seeing the living conditions of some of the farmers and ponies who have lost their jobs due to no sun. Starving herself.

Seeing as she can't defeat Nightmare Moon. Which let me add why I'm doing that. Basically, so many fics I've read where Nightmare Moon returns are always about the hero/es trying to take her down. But this story only follows one pony, maybe a few more. There's no way they can defeat NM, so they resort to trying to find a way for ponies to grow food.

And I can guarantee you this won't be a massive "Gotta save teh world from the end of teh world!" fic. It'll be more akin to Fallout 3's story. Where the main character isn't really saving the world, just giving it a leg up to make things better.

(And I'll try to make the fic less shitty than Fallout 3's story)
>> No. 117525
File 134601058560.gif - (1.83MB , 640x360 , 131931094377.gif )
>Twilight dies
Off to a bad start. Just have Nightmare be the victor in the end. The six never discover their elements, Nightmare rules and plunges the country into eternal night. Killing major cast members is a sure-fire way to turn off potential readers. One option would be for them to lead a resistance that occurs in the background and would offer a choice for your protagonist about whether to help them at the cost of exposing themselves to Nightmare's wrath or helping the cause that could free the country from her tyranny.

Zebrica tends to be the agreed-upon name for the zebra lands.

Have you read Fallout: Equestria?
>> No. 117529
Yeah, currently about halfway through Old Olneigh

And I guess I can keep it an alternate universe whilst not killing anypony. But, how can I do so whilst still keeping to the show's story? I can't just say "Celestia didn't bother sending Twilight off", because it's said in the show she did that to stop Nightmare Moon. I want the alternate universe to basically be something that went wrong that caused Nightmare Moon to win.
>> No. 117530
What do you think of the rest of the premise anyway?
>> No. 117539
File 134601605204.jpg - (69.44KB , 799x441 , 42c3409ef4d9899e77290658cac7a742.jpg )
A piece of masonry falls at exactly the wrong moment, preventing Twilight from hearing her friends calling out to her. Not hearing them means she doesn't have her epiphany and thus the Elements aren't activated. Night Mare Moon takes advantage of those seconds and escapes/teleports Twilight away/some other thing.

In my opinion the smallest changes are the most poignant.

As for the concept, it has potential. I'm wondering about the food-importing bit, though... Is NMM only night-locking Equestria, and somehow not day-locking the rest of the world?

Pic tangenitally related.
>> No. 117540
Well, the show has hinted that Celestia and Luna only raise the sun in Equestria and Equestria alone. I'm pretty sure that foreign relations wouldn't be good if the leaders of one country could blast any other country into eternal night whenever they want. So I'm guessing NMM can only sun-block Equestria.
>> No. 117542
Fair enough. Some readers have the assumption that Celestia and Luna control their respective Aspects for the whole world, so I'd recommend slipping in the "only Equestria" bit somewhere early in Chapter 1 to avoid confusion.
>> No. 117544
Yep, will do. But I'm trying hard not to really give any exposition piles. So I'll probably do it as a passing reference like a character saying "Why'd Nightmare Moon have to only make it night here? Why not Zebrica?". But less crap.
>> No. 117545
Works for me. It's essentially a slice-of-life fic in a crapsack world, which is a nice change of pace.

I was wondering about this, too. Perhaps they get food from the Diamond Dogs as well? They could have underground plantations of edible fungi that grow from the heat and water of underground steam.

Also, you need to handle the problem of Equestria being ice-locked after a few months. No sun means it would freeze over in short order.
>> No. 117546
>>117545 You raise a good point. I'm probably setting mine a few months after the night began, maybe a whole year. I dunno. But I'll probably set it before the freezing over happens, but when it's cold enough for everyone to be wearing coats and such.

Also, it all depends. Can multi chapter fics count as slice of life? What is the definition of slice of life, I really don't know?
>> No. 117548
>Diamond Dog Fungus Farmers!
Yay! I rather like this notion, as it could easily make the DD a major economical power.

Yeah, the deep freeze is a big point. Maybe some ponies head underground like the DD? But I doubt pegasi could handle that in the long term... Man, I'm picturing some serious psychological problems for the winged tribe once they realize that the sky is just too cold to survive for long...
>> No. 117549
Pegasi could just fly out of the country. In fact, that would probably be a major plot point; the pegasi migrate and Nightmare is trying to catch and clip their wings to keep them in Equestria under her control.
>> No. 117550
>>117549 That's a good idea. But really, I really want to focus on the main character and her day to day trials in her job, the other stuff'll get a mention but I'd like to keep it simple.
>> No. 117551
>>117548 Like I said, I want to keep it simple. But yeah, I'll probably have the Diamond Dogs come to the border to trade, then something bad maybe happens. I'm gonna put pretty much all these elements you're suggesting and that I like in, but I'm going to not make them into major plot points.
>> No. 117552
To the best of my knowledge, slice-of-life as a tag essentially means that your fic could be mistaken for a non-action episode of FiM, like "Applebuck Season" or "Call of the Cutie".
>> No. 117553
Ah. Well I guess mine won't be slice of life. Seeing as there's quite a lot of backstory and such to get in, and it's going to be a long multi-chaptered fic. Thanks for the help.
>> No. 117556
Within the fandom that's the definition, but I consider it to be something like "living day-to-day life". In his story, the protagonist is just trying to find enough food in an unkind world. He isn't leading some rebellion or embarking on a daring escape.
>> No. 117557
>>117556 I guess so. But really, the time to determine tags is far off. And there will more than likely be bigger stuff happening in the background, but will that make it not slice of life? Who knows. I'll figure it out when I get round to it.
>> No. 117603
For the guy who came up with the Tenchi/MLP crossover thread ( http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/117191.html )who wanted help coming up with ideas:

1). One idea off the top of my head is that Celestia is a manifestation of Tsunami and Luna is a manifestation of either Tokimi or Washuu.

2). You can do a parody of the Tenchi harem by having all six of the Mane 6 fall in love with Tenchi. But to make it even funnier, keep Tenchi as a human and the Mane 6 as ponies
>> No. 117610
Your #1 idea weirds me out, Anon. Primarily because the equation Celestia = Tsunami = Sasami makes my brain threaten suicide. Although that would add a bizarre twist to the inevitable conversation where Ayeka sits down with Celestia to bitch about younger sisters...

Also, your #2 idea has the potential to be the most hilariously awkward thing ever written.
>> No. 117613
Think of a way to tie together Daring Do, Equestrian government agents, and ancient clans of vampires. Must be ridiculous yet coherent. Go.
>> No. 117615
A long-forgotten race of vampire bats is unearthed by an archaeological dig, and along with them relics of great power. Daring-Do goes to investigate, only to find her way blocked by Red Tape, a no-nonsense BRIDLE agent. When a mysterious thief steals the relics for a mysterious "collector", Daring-Do and Red Tape must work together to apprehend the thief before an unimaginably powerful book--and Equestria's fate--is sold to the highest bidder...
>> No. 117618
File 134605826741.jpg - (385.71KB , 1000x1140 , tumblr_m3vny0X29b1rv1xgjo1_1280.jpg )
Coherency: 10/10
Ridiculousness: 6/10 (I set the bar high when dealing with ponies.)
>> No. 117621
>Think of a way to tie together Daring Do, Equestrian government agents, and ancient clans of vampires. Must be ridiculous yet coherent. Go.
Daring Do uncovers a series of relics that lead her to the truth about the Equestrian shadow government/Illuminati -- a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top (well, maybe not all the way -- just to the nobles who aren't Princesses). Equestria is secretly ruled by an ancient clan of vampires who plan to free their dark lord from the gates of Tartarus on the 21st day of the 12th month of the year 1012 (after Luna's banishment) and usher in a new era of evil and darkness -- and that's in just a few days.

Daring must battle government agents, fearsome vampires and Tartarus hellspawn to uncover and stop their fiendish plans before it's too late.
>> No. 117635
Daring Do, having received a missive from Blueblood and a map to a family relic, ventures forth to retreive it and earn a hefty prize - and possibly a title.
She falls through yet another trap door in an ancient ruin. Wakes to find herself cold, sore, and... hungry.
She marvels at the strange architecture about her, the repeating motifs of red teardrops, bats, and teeth, and the way everything seems to be slightly askew.
She makes her way back to the surface, and finds others in the ruins who have been lost for some time. They join her, and as they travel, it is revealed they all have the same map, and the same description of a mysterious artifact.
Eventually, they venture back to a sunlit world which now causes them pain. Suddenly, it all becomes clear...
They are monsters. Can they return to lives they've abandoned - some for centuries - or must they find a place under the tutelage of the one that damned them to their fate?
All hail Blueblood, Vampire Prince of Equestria.
>> No. 117640

OP for the Daring/vampire idea here. This causes some issues with other parts of the story, but at least I'm not the only one who thinks Blueblood is a vampire.
>> No. 117643
I know it is fanfiction and all that, but aren't we hitting a new layer of meta by making fictional character of a show interact with a fictional character of a book inside the show?
>> No. 117644
Who said the Daring Do stories aren't historical texts?
>> No. 117645
The show? It called it a series after all. :b
>> No. 117646
I have a book series on the life of Benjamin Franklin. It's got ten or twelve volumes about the various parts of his political and scientific life.
>> No. 117663
They only want you to think it's fictional.
>> No. 117674
File 134610777831.png - (28.75KB , 319x269 , mlfw6192-0d71.png )
Cross posting this with another thread I had made because it was recommended to me to look here. I welcome your input!

Hey /fic/ I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith about the writing style of my upcoming story and I thought I would ask your opinion on it.

Basically, the style I am trying to achieve is fiction written in the MLP world. Basically instead of it being extended canon or AR canon it would be the kind of story that you could go into Twilight's Library and pick up off the shelf today if you wanted to (i.e.: one of the Daring Do books). Now, the story I am about to post is almost done it's final edit when it dawned on me that I include mentions of canon characters, as a "looking back on the past" kind of idea, by which I mean I had originally written my story to take place somewhere around 60-70 years after MLP:FIM. Now, as you can see, this kind of goes against what my desired style is.

I guess kind of what I am trying to get at is what kind of story do you prefer: a alt-future type scenario (kind of like what FOE is) or an original type tale that takes place in the fantasy world of the MLP universe (I guess the closest parallel because of the things I would introduce would be Jules Verne)?

I have no problem going either way but it was just a sudden epiphany and at this point it would be a bit of a pain in the ass to rewrite certain points, but not to the point where I would have to alter my point of view. I mean, it literally would change three paragraphs in my story but the whole feel would be different.

tl;dr: alt canon future world vs a novel written for ponies to read, your opinion?
>> No. 117676
File 134611182032.jpg - (116.77KB , 900x913 , 132907995915-131671163659.jpg )
I lik the "novel for ponies" idea, myself; so far as I know it's fresher.
>> No. 117687
hmm you're the second person to tell me that... so may have to rework it that way
>> No. 117744
File 134616602659.jpg - (18.44KB , 300x300 , 564121_122146267929611_838835145_n.jpg )
So, if I read that right, you're concerned that upcoming canon might render your futuristic history (i.e. ad libbed current canon) inaccurate? Write with caution I suppose would be my advice. I am a fan of the idea of fiction withing the pony universe. I say go for it, as I do for most story ideas.
>> No. 117748
I'm not so much concerned with the canon altering my view of the future of Equestria because it wouldn't be that big of a deal (look at FOE and how well they rolled with the new episodes clearly affecting their vision of Equestrian future and how well they rolled with it), more just that I don't like the idea of messing with canon.

Since I made my initial post I've been doing a lot of thinking and I guess what my idea could be considered like a futurist novel from the late 1800s and early 1900s (thus why i picked Jules Verne as a comparison, even though I don't think it's quite accurate), and even then those Jules Verne like things are a minor part of the story. Little more than mood establishment I guess.

I think really what I need to do at this point is finish the chapter both ways and see how I like the feel of both. I rather enjoyed my work on a "novels for ponies" idea when I did a Daring Do story, and I guess something that fitted into alternate canon is so common that it just kind of squeezed itself in there. Either way just typing out the post and getting my brain working on it has given me a lot to consider.
>> No. 118097
File 134634513330.png - (661.27KB , 900x1440 , spoiler.png )
Whoa! Guys, I just woke up from the craziest dream, and I wanted to make it a story, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve heard the story before. I don’t know if that’s because I dreamt it or because it’s really been done before, but here it is, summed up in as few words as possible. It’s a little dark so be prepared.

So I’m Rarity, out looking for more jewels and whatnot, and I’m searching farther out than usual because I’ve exhausted the nearby supply. Suddenly my horn starts going off like crazy, and I follow it to this really big sapphire that’s sticking out of the ground. It’s about half my size, and the biggest gem I’ve ever seen. Other than Tom. So I grab it with my magic, and try to lift it, and it’s really heavy, when a diamond dog jumps out from behind a pile of dirt.

“No, don’t touch that! You don’t want that one. Don’t touch it! STOP!” he dives on me and tries to pull me away.

“Get off ruffian!” I say, and buck him off.

After he lands he says, “You’ve been warned pony, we diamond dogs know the stories behind that stone, and no better than to go near it. It’s cursed!” Clearly they just want the stone for themselves, so I continue pulling at it. With much exertion it finally comes out of the ground and I collapse on the ground, not unconscious yet. I heave the enormous thing into the wagon I’ve brought with me, and haul it back to town.

As I get into the Carousel boutique, and unload it from the wagon, I notice that it slightly resembles a unicorn. I chuckle at that. I am now very tired from hauling it back, and decide some beauty sleep is in order.

All I can dream about is that big enormous Sapphire I’ve found. It looks so beautiful, and it’s so big. I wake up feeling very refreshed and trot downstairs to hear Sweetie Belle calling my name.

“I’m coming Sweetie Belle” I respond, but she doesn’t answer. When I get downstairs, she’s looking at the Sapphire. I’m not sure, but it looks strikingly like me now.

“Wow, Rarity is really skilled to have shaped it like this” she says.

“What is it Sweetie Belle?” I ask causing her to look up.

“I was wondering–” she calls, very loudly, then does a double take.

“How did you get down here so fast Rarity, I thought you were upstairs.

“Oh Sweetie Belle” I respond. “How silly of you, I simply walked downstairs.

Now she looks even more confused. “What’s wrong with your voice Rarity?” She asks

“Why whatever do you mean dear?” I ask

She looks worried. “You sound really far away, try talking louder.”

I am now quite confused, but oblige. “Okay, how about this?” I ask raising my voice a little.

She tilts her head. “Nope, nothing.


Her eyes are very wide now. “Now you’re even quieter, I can barely hear you at all! What’s wrong sis?”

I start to panic; I think of Twilight, she would know what to do. I run out the door but as soon as I leave the boutique, I am stopped by some invisible force. I look down at myself, and am surrounded by a blue Aura. But I’m not casting a spell, I look back at the diamond, and it’s begun to glow. Sweetie Belle is now–-if possible–-whiter than normal. I pull against the stone, trying to leave, and I make some progress, but it is very difficult.

“You’re not, getting me–-urgh–-Dumb rock!” I can now faintly see the ground through my hoof. I’ve begun to become transparent. “What?!” I continue to strain against the rock, and it becomes ever slightly easier with each step. After an eternity of straining I make it to Twilight’s, and the pull is nearly nonexistent now, but I can still feel it, and I am very tired.

I knock on the door. My hoof is nearly invisible now “TWILIGHT! ARE YOU THERE? YOU’VE GOT TO HELP ME!” She opens the door, and looks right through me.

“Hello? Is Somepony there?” she asks.

“TWILIGHT IT’S ME RARITY. SOMETHING’S HAPPENED. THERE WAS THIS BIG SAPPHIRE, SOME DIAMOND DOGS AND–-” I stopped. The diamond dogs had been right. I think for a moment, and–-since she can’t hear me–-mentally apologize to Twilight for this. I turn around and whip her across the face with my tail, hard.

“Ow!” what was that?” Good, I’m still solid. She looks angrily in my direction, squinting her eyes. She looks straight at me for a moment, and her eyes widen.


In that moment, the pull from the diamond doubles, then triples. I feel my hooves moving of their own accord, back toward the Carousel.

“What’s going on?!” I’ve broken into a trot. I look back to see Twilight following behind at a slow trot, turning every which way as though searching for something. I am now galloping toward the boutique. I pass right through the door as if it’s not even there, and dive straight at the rock.

Everything is now Iridescent blue. I am staring at Sweetie Belle, curled up in the corner crying. I can’t turn my eyes, or even blink. I’m just staring straight at her. I hear an evil sounding laugh somewhere nearby, and everything grows even bluer, until it’s the only color I see.

In a flash, I’m sitting, half buried in the ground. Staring at the only place I am physically able to I now recognize where I stood only a few hours earlier.

A tall, black unicorn walks into my view, and stares right at me, with a wicked grin. She has a sparkling mane that looks white, but is actually comprised of all six colors of the rainbow.

“So the last one finally activated. Excellent.” She sneers at me. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for some poor unknowing soul to find my final gem? Well it’s been ages and now, you’re finally here.” She lifts me up with her magic and carries me a very long way, deep into the mountains. By nightfall we come across a clearing, with five other stones arranged in a circle. A red stone, a green stone, a pink stone, an orange stone, and a white stone. All of them are shaped like a unicorn.

“Did you know that magic can be stored inside gems, my dear?” She asks as she carries me over to an empty space in the circle. “What nopony seems to realize is that gems have an interesting effect on magic when you pour it into them: They contain it, and store it, to be drawn upon later.” She places me on the ground, creating a perfect hexagon with the other five stones. “But I’ve discovered a formula that says they can do something else as well: If you can pour enough magic into a stone, it will become self–sustaining, and provide you with an unlimited supply of power. Unfortunately in order to obtain this amount of power, you need a few… sacrifices, shall we say.”

She stares right into my eyes now, and I am forced to stare back, into those cold dark eyes. “It took me nearly ten years to develop the spell necessary for these snare gems. And then I had to wait another thousand for them all to activate, leeching power off of unsuspecting ponies as they came across my gems. These ones are quite well spent in fact,” she gestures to the other five unicorns around the circle, and turns me so I can see. They looked quite old. “You would hardly believe they were mere foals when they happened upon their respective gems, but I’ve just enough power left between all of you for this spell.”

She then trots over to the center of the circle and turns to look at each stone as she speaks. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to wait so long my dears, it’s been over a hundred years since our last addition, but I finally have the last piece, and now I’ll be the most powerful unicorn that ever lived!” She rears up on her hind legs, throwing her fore hooves into the air as her horn begins to glow bright white. All six stones begin glowing their respective colors, and then all I can see is white.

At this point I woke up, in my bed, human, drenched in sweat and my heart beating rapidly. The scariest part was that I couldn’t move for a moment, but as soon as I could, I began typing this. That was just over an hour ago.

So, has anypony heard anything like this before, or is it a good to go for writing?
>> No. 118108
Could be an interesting story, if you can pull it off. Maybe change the unicorn from being black, though.
Also, stop eating out-of-date luncheon meat.
>> No. 118116
File 134635077771.png - (358.19KB , 885x960 , 557179_363793367019463_773534541_n.png )
I'll take that to heart, although I don't actually eat very much meat. I prefer fruits and veggies, and cheese and nuts and stuff.
>> No. 118117
That would explain it. Just because it's mouldy doesn't mean it's proper bleu cheese.
>> No. 118121
I came across this idea a while ago and always thought it was interesting, so now I'm writing a fic about it.

Princess Cadence has a special destiny. While she cannot claim to rule or control love, she understands and lives love in much the same way the Six live their Elements of Harmony.

She understands what love is. She understands why and how ponies love each. Passion, devotion, and lust are her domains. She knows these things as part of her. And she knows that an immortal cannot truly know passion, devotion, or lust.

Late one night, a letter appears on Princess Luna's desk. She forwards it at once to her sister, who immediately makes preparations for a journey. A young mother in a tiny town east of Hooveston has given birth to their niece.

I may continue this after it's done, with the story of how she chose this existence, and why.

"This isn't goodbye. We will meet again, and soon."

"I know, sister."

I know what I want to happen, but I keep fighting myself over details like: Does the public know about her? How much is she generally told about her past lives? How did she originally come to be?

It's called the Birth of Cadenza because I'm so damn clever.
>> No. 118126
Could you be a bit clearer? I have no idea what is going on in that sketch.
>> No. 118147

I meant it to be a bit vauge; I might use an adaptation/rewrite of that as the story's fimfic description. Here is how the story will go, plot point by plot point:

An urgent letter arrives at the castle. Captain Cornerstone rushes to Celestia's office as mandated by protocol 683; he's been ordered to make preparations for a royal outing at once. Princess Celestia offers to have him along as a bodyguard so that he can see for himself what all the fuss is about.

They travel to a tiny town just outside Hooveston-or-wherever, and visit the hospital. An alicorn filly has been born. Pink, with a fully formed cutie mark at birth. Princess Celestia welcomes her niece to the world, tells the biological parents to raise her as their own, and offers them a villa on royal property.

She mentions, or perhaps just thinks to herself, her intention to slowly teach little Cadence about her existence and her particular destiny as she grows up. She also plans to tell stories about Cadence's past lives, or maybe she just keeps a scrapbook of memories from past lives i.e. the wedding. Or maybe she understands that it's best for Cadence to live without ever knowing more than vague stories like "In one lifetime you raised a beautiful family; in another you were a free spirit who never settled down."

I think that would be a satisfying resolution; Celestia nuzzling an infant Cadence.
>> No. 118154
File 134636459444.jpg - (163.44KB , 877x620 , super effective.jpg )
Sapphirirty ship, three act structure, go!

Act One: Rarity falls for Sapphire after she takes her out to a private dinner following Sweetie
Belle's first concert (Sapphire's acting as manager/mentor for Sweetie ala Pop Culture). They
get a bit tipsy and Sapphire kisses her while telling a story of a crazed fan who did the same to
her. Rarity is smitten but is nervous about approaching Sapphire about her feelings due to
tabloids saying she's going out with a mysterious stallion. She talks with her parents before
working up the courage to ask her out. Sapphire agrees, happily informing Rarity she has similar
feelings and the tabloids are lying for publicity.

Act two: This takes place during the first week of their relationship. It starts out fine but Sapphire
begins pushing Rarity into doing things of a more provocative nature as well as flirting with the
occasional mare who catches her eye. Rarity insists they're moving too fast and asks her to
stop flirting so hard while their in a relationship which upsets Sapphire and leads to a quick break
up during Sweetie's second concert where she loses her voice and requires vocal surgery if she
wishes to sing again (this is foreshadowed in act one following her first concert).

Act 3: Both Sapphire and Rarity wait outside the hospital room during Sweetie's surgery.
Everything is quiet until Sapphire suddenly bursts into tears. Rarity consoles her while Sapphire
laments over bot not recognizing the severity of Sweetie's voice loss earlier and behaving poorly
during her time with Rarity, saying as a Pop star herself she's been trained to behave that way
for extra publicity and she never learned how to properly behave in a relationship. The two make
up with Sapphire promising to behave better in the future, and Sweetie Belle recovers giving the
fic a happy ending. And thats it.

Just looking for opinions on this. It was going to be a subplot in Pop Culture but I think it may
interfere too much so I'm interested in opinions as well as names. Right now I'm thinking
Glittering Sapphires sounds good.
>> No. 118159
I know why it's there, but the "Sweetie's voice is at risk" bit strikes me as--how shall we say--heavy-hoofed.

Unfortunately I can't think of something off the top of my head that would serve the same story-function.

The rest sounds fine, though, especially Act 2.
>> No. 118173
File 134637993569.jpg - (6.90KB , 480x360 , james[1].jpg )
Yikes, you dreamed that? First person as Rarity? That's pretty damn freaky.

The Diamond-Dog-out-of-nowhere-with-a-warning is a touch cliche. After that part with the black unicorn showing up, the story seems to tangent and I have no idea how it can resolve from there. But the actual part about getting hexed... that's damn creepy. I'd probably focus on that, and only include the black unicorn if that's going to take the story someplace different. Elsewise, you've got Twilight on the scene, either to save Rarity or to tearfully fail in front of her and her sister.
>> No. 118214
This is the beginning of a story I won't ever write. Just droppin' it off here. Use it for inspiration, plagiarize it, whatever.


The eastern volcano rumbled in the distance.

Ripples broke out on the lake's placid surface as the sun was setting. The lake, which had no alligators and no hippopotamuses, was a fine lake. The tribe of ponies which inhabited a circle of earthen homes around it depended on its life-giving water, as did also many other creatures of the forest, and the forest foliage itself. It was fed by a large stream, into which flowed most of the rainwater that fell on the mountain; another stream drained it, flowing west, towards the craggy cliffs of the ocean, where the legendary Phoenix Altar lay.

The villagers were crowded together outside the Talker's hut. A conference had been held some days ago, and it had been decided that the signs were clear enough: the dragon threat was real. They were gathered now to hear the gods' pronouncement regarding who would be their chosen hero. The bonfire they had built earlier in the day, to invoke the gods' aid and wisdom, was now reduced to embers. It wouldn't be long before the Talker announced the phoenixes' decision.

Arranged on a nearby table were various items. Tools, jewelry, toys, and oddities were piled together in a large hide sack, into which it seemed every member of the tribe had invested a personal treasure. A bundle of carrots, tied off with straw, and a gourd of beet juice occupied their own space opposite the treasure; in the center lay an ancient golden pendant shaped like a phoenix.

The craftsmanship of the pendant was impeccable. The phoenix's wings were spread dominantly, powerfully. It faced downward, as if looking upon prey. Set solidly in its heart was a fire ruby, symbol of regeneration and purification through trials. Despite its age, the phoenix was unblemished, and even now it shone with all the fury of a tyrant. In the daytime, its eyes would have seemed to glint despotically; but now, in the half-light, its features were softened, and it acquired a sacred air. Many in the crowd, while waiting to learn which of them was destined to present the pendant at the Phoenix Altar and thus gain entrance to the legendary city, had taken to gazing upon the pendant and feeling its protection.

Among them stood a newlywed, whose young wife was beside him, resting her neck on his shoulders. She leaned into his ear, and whispered:

"Will Raging Storm be chosen?"

"Certainly. He is our greatest stallion. He will carry out the hero's task honorably. The gods know how courageous he is. No other stallion is equal to him."

His wife returned to her rest, satisfied with the reassurance. The newlywed's words, in fact, reflected the village consensus. Raging Storm and his family had been the subject of murmured predictions from the beginning, and the tales of his worthiness among the town gossips had gotten progressively more ridiculous as time went on. It was, for example, now being said that he had outwitted a dragon as a foal and led it to its death in quicksand.

Raging Storm himself, who had in fact never seen a dragon before, stood calmly among the crowd, ignoring his neighbors' expectant looks. His eyes were fixed on the entrance of the Phoenix Talker's hut, which boasted a vine curtain, behind which the mystical dialogue was taking place. Once it was opened, the pronouncement would be made, and the gods' chosen hero named.

The vines parted, and the Phoenix Talker emerged. The sudden appearance of his wild red mane and missing hind leg silenced the gossips. He made as if to speak, and the assembled villagers held their breath.

"Neighbors: Today I have listened to the cries of the gods, the phoenixes. I have been gifted to hear what you have not heard. Now you shall hear it: Sunflower is chosen."

A collective gasp went up from the crowd, as everyone suddenly turned their attention to the newlywed stallion. Sunflower, just as confused as the others, turned to face Raging Storm, who, stoic as ever, hadn't taken his eyes from the entrance to the Talker's hut.

Sunflower opened his mouth to question the decision, but quickly shut it again; the gods' word was final. The Talker continued.

"You will leave tomorrow at sunrise."
>> No. 118267
File 134650014290.jpg - (42.36KB , 900x900 , rain pinkamena.jpg )
Well, you see, that's the thing: I could continue the story from there, and describe what Rarity sees for the next thousand years while she's encased in stone, [rimshot] but I really don't think I should. I think part of the story is leaving the reader with the sense that she's trapped forever like that.
>Strangely reminiscent of my last story, 2-D Pony.
>> No. 118287
File 134652494402.jpg - (40.65KB , 479x599 , awesome.jpg )
Hey, /fic/.
I need you to answer a little question for me:

What is the most awesome thing that you can realistically imagine one of your classmates doing in the middle of a lecture?

Again, please be realistic. This is going into my story.
>> No. 118291
Sometimes I get the urge to jump out of my chair and start singing the Pokemon theme song.

I don't know if this answers your question, though.
>> No. 118295
Not the MLP theme song?
>> No. 118326
My favorite is still having someone hijack the class from the teacher, stalling him with an argument long enough for there not to be enough time to assign homework at the end of class.
>> No. 118348
File 134654986374.gif - (1.54MB , 680x466 , 134453810587.gif )

>> No. 118364
File 134655757262.png - (16.66KB , 797x359 , 7d2202b442f044e59160d6b2ab8d8598.png )
Well, I ran across a generator and I've found some very disturbing and coincidental names for ideas, which I shall now share.

Sleepy Pony Psychiatrist - A mare who works as a psychiatrist in Ponyville General suffers from narcolepsy and continusly falls asleep each time she passes the holding room Screwloose is residing in.

Def Jam Unicorn Extra - A crossover with Def Jam: Fight for NY. Twilight is dragged into the ring on accident via some means and is forced to compete against other fighters in order to win the title of being the King of New York. She isn't given a real choice, and has to kick some ass and take over to be able to get back to Equestria.

Save Yourself from the Aerobics, Dash - Rainbow Dash develops a fear of doing tricks while flying after a horrible crash and recovery. The pressure begins to mount as she's offered a position with the Wonderbolts, provided she can impress them with amazing tricks, etc..

Trendy Scoot Crusader - Scootaloo accidentally starts a new fashion trend with an old scarf her grandma gave her, and she suddenly finds herself in the spotlight for fashion.

Battle Unicorn in Africa - Crossover with Resident Evil 5. Shining Armor is tossed out of the way of Queen Chrysalis' new plot through unconventional means, and is promptly teleported to Africa. He engages in combat with various zombies and the such alongside Sheva and Chris and must eventually get enough gold to buy a scroll to teleport back home.

Irresistible Princess Summoner - Princess Celestia randomly pulls in humans in order for them to tell her how cute she is, with her trying to get as many as possible while Luna attempts the same thing.

Ultraviolent Submarine Dash - The Dashing Dawn, a quick, powerful submarine, is tasked with hunting down the rogue Twilight October, and things turn hectic quick as the Captain Rainbow Dash discovers she might've bit off more than she can chew this time, despite her ruthless, cold, and excessively violent tactics in combat.

Nudist Office Dash - After Earth and Equestria finally made a peaceful connection and both sides immigrate, a human finds himself working alongside Rainbow Dash in an office building, where she's simply working as a lazy secretary who walks around all the time. Her motivation is to earn enough money to buy a car and hopefully manage to drive such a powerful machine. Over time, her laziness affects her clothing (originally a skirt and blouse combo) and she decides to not wear anything at all. Flustered, the human attempts to file a complaint in order to get her wearing clothing again like a sensible person. Whether it works out or not is up to the writer.

Well, that's all I got for you guys. If you want the proof that these were generated, here's the album: http://imgur.com/a/JZdcp#0

Enjoy and that sorta shit.
>> No. 118374
File 134656622671.jpg - (49.07KB , 678x720 , well_shit.jpg )
"By the Conch."
Now I feel obligated to take one of these ideas. But I can't, because I have another project.
>Pic related.

That other project, however, is why I came here. I'm writing a story that transplants My Little Pony into a Western setting. Specifically, it's 1870, and Ponyville is a frontier town in the state of Neighvada. I'm trying to come up with Western-y roles for all of the Mane 6. What I have so far is:
>Twilight is the city slicker straight out of Canterlot, DC, but she has the ability to build and maintain steampunk machinery.
>Applejack is the determined homesteader's daughter. The role writes itself.
>Rainbow Dash is still Ponyville's weather manager, but that position gives her the authority of a deputy. I may or may not be planning to call her "The Rainboom Kid."
>Pinkie Pie is the bartender at Sugarcube Saloon, when the mood strikes her.
>Fluttershy, after the accident at flight camp, was adopted and raised by a tribe of buffalo.
Here's the problem, though. What the hay do I do with Rarity? I've considered making her the Miss Kitty, but that would make Mr. and Mrs. Cake obsolete. I don't want to make her a prostitute, either, but at this point I'm considering that, too. Where do you guys think I should put her?
>> No. 118387
File 134658000309.jpg - (156.73KB , 500x500 , spellcard.jpg )
How about something to do with gems? Have her deal in jewels, maybe like a prospector-merchant of sorts, and if you need a subplot for conflict, have her be in competition with the Diamond Dogs. Except that she's the foreigner upstart with the schamncy technology, and the DDs are the aborigines whose traditional methods cannot compete with cold science. Buh-bang! Moral conflict as well as historical parallel.
>> No. 118424
File 134661431776.gif - (810.49KB , 500x308 , tumblr_m7e3eqZqUE1r77vq1o1_500.gif )

Make Rarity the Governor of the region, who, due to a campaign, is forced to live among commoners to demonstrate she's "down-to-earth", with the risk of losing her position if she doesn't convince Celestia she's perfectly at ease with the country hicks, etc..
>> No. 118433
I could see that working. I'm really not sure why I didn't think of that. Thanks!
>> No. 118494
File 134668424112.png - (302.68KB , 1600x1821 , wet mane Bleedingrain .png )
I've seen it work. It was really funny. All we had to do was keep bringing up the red sox and he would go on for hours. Well, minutes, but you get the idea. When the bell rang, he totally forgot about the homework. That was back in 6th grade though.
>> No. 118783
File 134705462029.jpg - (7.62KB , 203x248 , yhbkiobjubk.jpg )
I have a question :3
Has anyone done a Daring Do story? Like, writen a story that Rainbow Dash would have read in that one episode. I think that would be pretty interesting.
And if you do know of one and you have a link to it, I would love to read it. Also, I'm sorry if there's, like, eight billion of them and I'm just being stupid. I haven't looked around for any. I was just curious on if anyone has writen one.
Thanks c:
>> No. 118789
File 134705803055.jpg - (182.57KB , 900x913 , bored pinkamena.jpg )
enjoy browsing
>> No. 118791
Thank you C:
and again, sorry for being stupid ;3;
>> No. 118818
Does anyone here watch community?I am working on some plot and characterization outlines for a big crossover fic for national novel writing month, And need to know what a pony version of Abed would be like I'm having a really hard time with the name especially.
>> No. 118821
File 134708278838.png - (44.69KB , 230x160 , Pinkie131757794157.png )
A brony comes how late from school one day, cause he went to the store to buy a talking Pinkie Pie plushie. His family hates it, calling him a pansy and saying he wasted his money.

One day his mother is cleaning in his room and she picks up Pinkie and a squeezes her. [Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie. And I don't think I like you.[/i] The mother raises an eyebrow and drops Pinkie back on the bed. "Piece of junk," she says. Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie. And I hate you.

The mother looks back at Pinkie, her eyes as big as dinner plates. She throws Pinkie in the garbage outside and runs back into the house.

Later in the day the brony comes home from school and goes up to his room. Moments later he comes back down and sits down on the couch. The mother looks up from her magazine to see Pinkie on his lap. She's confused as to how Pinkie got there. Brony gets up to get a soda, leaving Pinkie behind.

Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie. And I'm going to kill you.
>> No. 118826
Rework a classic Twilight Zone episode with ponies, eh?

Now I want to see "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" with Derpy.
>> No. 118849
>"Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" with Derpy.
Would Derpy be the gremlin or the ball-trippin passenger?
I'd read either.
>> No. 118894
Political intrigue stories, how do you fit them into a world like MLP without coming out all weird?
>> No. 118898
File 134714582641.png - (115.75KB , 800x600 , 132631991036.png )
Okay, so I had this idea: Owlowiscious isn't really an owl.
That's the story basis anyway, and he's trying to tell everypony that he's not an owl and they need to help him, but all everypony hears is: "WHOO!"

What I need help with:
Should he be originally a human or a pony?
Should I use generic poison joke, or what else?
Should I go for comedy or dark?
>> No. 118905

Ancient cursed artifact.


Make sure you mention how he feels when he meets Twilight; he thinks she can help her and so tries to be friends with her.

Do not dare to suggest HiE in any form ever again.
>> No. 118908
File 134715309282.png - (113.80KB , 600x695 , creepypinkie.png )
>Do not dare to suggest HiE in any form ever again.
Pony it is then. Ooh this is getting juicy. Should be fun
>> No. 118922
File 134718270252.jpg - (13.38KB , 244x207 , righto.jpg )
I'd say make it as dark as all out, probably by giving him a mission of epic proportions or backstory stemming back to the Discordian War. I've got something sitting on the backburner (read: never will see the light of day) that involves Gummy being a HiE (said human will have, eh, around 15 chapters of wandering in pre-Discordian history prior for character development, so don't give me that look >=|), so your idea is in the vein of something that I'd like to see made real.
>> No. 118970
File 134722974281.png - (49.25KB , 187x183 , 1302391497071.png )
Is it cliche to explore the personality of Luna by sending her out into the world? By that I mean a character study of Luna's absence from society and leadership for the past 1000 years, and the effects it has had upon society.
>> No. 118978
Okay. I had this idea a while back. When I proposed it here, it got poo-poo'd. Well, I've developed it a bit, and I want to see if any of y'all fine peoples would read it.

It's called Quantum Ponies, a crossover between MLP and Quantum Leap. It'll be a comedy/adventure story about a brony who gets "leaped" into different fan fictions and has to "put right what once went wrong." I'm bouncing between what is leaping him. It's either going to be the Doctor from Doctor Who, probably the Ninth because I love the Ninth, or some random god-like being. The premise is that every fan fiction is actually a real world, since anything that you can imagine happens somewhere in the Multiverse.

In these adventures, his only help is Pinkie Pie, who serves as his Al, a hologram that only he can see and hear. If you remember the show, Al had Ziggy, a handheld computer that helped him and Sam figure out what he needed to do to fix things. Well, Pinkie would have Piggy, and it's literally a pig sock puppet she talks to. "Uh-oh. Um, Rob , Piggy says that Spitfire still has a 67% chance of dying, but now you have a 53% chance of dying, too!"

As I said, the settings would be different fan fictions, mainly focusing on the dark ones, as they need to be "fixed." A big concern is the "self-insert" angle, and I guess it kind of is. But the intent is not for the character to be a knight in shining armor. He doesn't swoop in and solve all the problems in the story, saving the day. He has to fix ONE problem, some point in the story where everything gets worse from there, but if it's stopped, things might turn out differently. Well, that will be the case when I use actual well-liked stories. In the more troll-fic area, it'll be him saving the day. I have ideas based on some "public domain" dark fics, and I want every chapter to have a different vibe to it. For example, one is "Rainbow Factory," and that would be more an action piece. The guy is leaped into Scootaloo and has to escape the factory and warn Princess Luna about what's going on. And yes, I would use "Cupcakes." That would be more a mystery-type. He comes in and saves Rainbow Dash, but something possessed Pinkie Pie and drove her to murder, and he has to find out what and save her, as well.

For my first chapter, I have already gotten an okay from BronyCray to use his story, "The Night That Never Ended." In this one, he's not trying to defeat Nightmare Moon and save the world. Instead, he has to save Spitfire from a bloodthirsty crowd that wants to kill her. Since he's just a normal pony (I'm thinking of leaping him in as Caramel) and not a superhero, he can't fight his way out, he has to talk the crowd down. Now, as I said, this is part comedy, so here's a little taste of what I mean by that. After he's leaped in, he runs up and just tries to grab Spitfire, but that obviously doesn't work. SO he thinks to himself:

Come on, Rob, think! Think like a hero! What would Captain Kirk do?
Punch Big Macintosh and have sex with Rarity.
Okay, we'll call that Plan B.

I want this to be kind of like The Sweetie Belle Chronicles. My ultimate goal is to do the impossibru and get a Brony in Equestria story on EqD. You may think it'll never happen, but that's what I thought about my current story, and IT made it. So, what say you, O Great and Terrible Story Forge? Would you read it?
>> No. 118995
File 134724800361.jpg - (139.93KB , 1599x926 , ⑨⑨.jpg )
It's been done before a lot of times with little variation. So yes, it would be cliche. However, ponyfic plots rarely are otherwise; if you can bring something game-changing, as is the case for any plot, then you're good to go. Write what you want to write, not what fits the niche.

By building upon your characters before you plunge them into the intrigue. Webs of lies and tactics are the result of actions determined by personality, so the characters and their motives are always the first place to start.

Specifically, for MLP, because the show shows everpony to be at peace, you have to think of a good motive that acts as an impetus strong enough to break the mold. Political intrigue is as much an antithesis to MLP as grimdark is, since Equestria is ruled by a monarchy, which has power but does not abuse - but it can be done as long as you properly define setting, and setting is the result of actions, which leads us back to motives.

Of course, you could just take a different time period, before the Sisters came to power, perhaps, or after an event that resulted in the de-seating of Celestia. Because if a system is perfect (and the show suggests this much), there's not going to be anypony complaining enough to induce change and thus struggle.
>> No. 118996
I came up with this idea a while ago, and am starting to work with it a bit, but I wanted to stop before doing something someone's already done, so it doesn't look like I ripped them off.

Has anyone done a fic that mirrors the Copernican revolution, with a Galileo-like pony believing that the earth isn't the center of the ponyverse, the sun rotates around it, and what Celestia does to handle this information/keep it under wraps? My only problem (why I'm not very far) is that I can't decide 1) whether I want this character to be right about the universe or 2) whether I want Celestia to handle this information in a kind way, or like the church did... threatening to burn him at the stake. Any thoughts/someone who's had a similar idea and wouldn't mind letting me know?
>> No. 119001
Need some advice on a story idea of the main 6 and a original character in a war room discussing the use of a weapon that can cause genocide against the changeling.

The issue is the rationalizing genocide against a almost unknown enemy.

Main plot points -
- Princess Celesta has giver herself up as hostage in exchange for a cease fire from the changeling

- The main 6 representing the elements of harmony have been called to duty of discussing the outcomes of celestial absent in her duty and how to overcome this.

- The weapon was originally made to act like a offensive spell. Similar to the one used by shinning amour. The weapon however discovered later to have the capability be lethal.

- The weapon can be set to kill only changeling leaving any other species unharmed.

The original pony is both the inception for the weapon and is for genocide of the changeling.

- Twilight is the main leader in choosing against genocide.

Idea issues
- Having trouble fitting Pinky Pie and maybe Rarity personality into this idea.

- Luna moons initial stance on genocide.
>> No. 119036
File 134730621720.jpg - (54.26KB , 640x480 , keltec_rfb_fde_1.jpg )
Hi, I'm writing a graphic novel about Equestria in a civil war in a mixed modern day setting. Because ponies, griffons, and other creatures are well, four legged, bullpup type rifles would enable firing while moving since it can be fired with one paw/hoof/claw. Now the trouble is with the Celestia's forces that are styled after the US military. The US military does not use any bullpup type firearms. The only bullpup employed by a branch of the US is the Steyr AUG of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. In addition, very few bullpups are manufactured in the US, with only the Kel Tec RFB(strictly civilian rifle), the TPD AXR (AUG clone), and the MSAR STG 556 (Also AUG clone) being available. The Bushmaster M17 could also work but I heard it is a PoS. If I were to diverge from the US's manufacturing, the Tavor TAR-21, and the Polish MSBS Radon (looks like a bullpup SCAR/ACR) could also be used. Do you have any suggestions?

Also, pic related, its the Kel Tec RFB.
>> No. 119038
Also, ponies will get mechanical paws. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXtSPQp4hJM&feature=related
>> No. 119040

>Having trouble fitting Pinky Pie and maybe Rarity personality into this idea.

You could just leave them out of the meeting entirely. Have them referenced as being off doing something else, or let the reader infer what their absence means. One of the issues people tend to have when writing fics is the idea that all of the mane characters have to move as a unit. If having Pinkie and Rarity there is only going to complicate things, and not in a good way, then you don't have to force it.
>> No. 119043

Don't call out models by name. There aren't any American manufacturers around. Give them pony names like the Red Stampede .44 or whatever.

I've done a lot of thought myself regarding pony guns.

FoE guns are slung on the back and fired via a bit in the mouth. The trouble with this is that if the recoil isn't properly handled we're talking busted teeth and self-inflicted Glasgow scars. Them guns better have kickstands or have a system whereby your chest absorbs the recoil or whatever. Rather than how FoE guns are pictured in fanart, a bit connected by a wire makes more sense. There's no way a pony could absorb any kind of recoil with teeth. The system otherwise makes sense, but you'd have to be damn well trained to hit anything.

Depending on the tech level, augmented reality goggles would make you deadly accurate with these things--you could even articulate the base to make them auto-targeting turrets. In this kind of setting maybe you'd also have electrodes on your head so as to be able to fire or even aim with your brain.

Wristguns might be useful but due to being small they'd essentially be pistols--only useful at short range. Additionally, you'd have to brace yourself in a three-pointed stance or drop prone. Not the greatest solution, but convenient, cheap, and
maybe stylish.

With four free hooves, pegasi are perfectly capable of harnessing themselves into chunky and complex steampunk death machines. If you go with the headcanon of pegasus gravity bubbles like I do, they might even be able to fly with almost full maneuverability.

Unicorns speak for themselves.

I've seen shoulder-rifles that need to be grabbed by one hoof and fired, like those gatling guns on Gundam Heavyarms. This is actually not a bad solution except for the aforementioned three-pointed stance. The long bore would make it accurate and you could give it a perfectly usable sight. The most amusing use of this system by far however would be strapping two of them to a pegasus. Living WW1 fighter plane.
>> No. 119045

One more thing: No reason a pony couldn't use a big-ass HMG. I'm talking tripod or bipod.

In short: Most ponies won't carry weapons in a setting that isn't grimdark like FoE. The only weapons that are available are a) not very effective, like hoofguns, or b) big and scary and probably illegal for civilians to own. There is no legitimate way to carry around a weapon without showing it off to everypony.
>> No. 119049
I have a idea for Pinky pie to not grasp the issue at first but then have her kind slowly deflate emotionally seeing a demonstration of the weapons capability.

I could have her already emotionally down at the start but personally I find it more impacting to see this decline in happiness with progress of the story.
>> No. 119053
File 134732639913.jpg - (69.12KB , 650x402 , uhlan4.jpg )
In my story, an ex-Confederate States of Columbia(USA expy) Marine who was fighting WW3 wakes up in Equestria along with part of the building he was in while it exploded (makes sense in context). His original world is supposed to be like ours, only, with foxes instead of humans. So any weaponry he introduces to Equestria would be designed for paws. Hence, the mechanical paw for ponies being introduced rather than battlesaddle type weaponry.

Using real model names makes sense since his world is supposed to be a mirror of our own. However, once those designs got reverse engineered there would definitely be different manufacturer names.
>> No. 119059
File 134732894443.jpg - (1.28MB , 1920x1080 , appletank_m1a1_by_dori_to-d5c5vhm.jpg )
>His original world is supposed to be like ours, only, with foxes instead of humans.
Your story is going to be flamed so hard that the only thing left is going to be a scorch mark. Seriously, drop the cross-universe army dude angle. That's overdone (to death) as-is, never mind throwing in furries. General rule for the fandom: furry equals fury.
If you absolutely need some sort of vulpine species due to an inexplicable mental predisposition, make them already be living on the planet. Name the country Vulpania or something, I don't know.

My headcanon says that Celestia controls the advancement of technology. In the Find a Pet song, Rainbow Dash talks about "being faster than a speeding bullet" and names her pet turtle "Tank". There must be some basis for these terms, but Equestria is a peaceful country (by most appearances). Ergo, the technology already exists but is tightly controlled by the princess(es). Said episode also demonstrates that items can be enchanted and powered by magic, so drop the firearms entirely. Use non-lethal magical lasers, freezing rays, whatever. Killing ponies willy-nilly is going to kill your readerbase. Enchanted weaponry also solves your "How do they hold it" issue since they can float alongside the user or be mounted on their backs and aimed with thoughts.
>> No. 119066
File 134733149229.jpg - (70.88KB , 1280x495 , 026vin1.jpg )

Noted. Thanks for the advice and I'll keep it in mind.
>> No. 119170
File 134739947381.jpg - (29.66KB , 551x549 , conspiracy-keanu.jpg )
>My headcanon says that Celestia controls the advancement of technology.
> Ergo, the technology already exists but is tightly controlled by the princess(es).

I'm not sure how you did it, but your headcanon is identical to a major plot-point (which exists only in my plot outline at this time) in the fic I'm writing right now.
>> No. 119172
File 134740069825.jpg - (1.77MB , 1920x1200 , discord_versus_lightmare_sun_by_ziom05-d55m130.jpg )
It's something I've been tossing around in my brain for months now as a subplot to a story that already has too many subplots.

Yes, I consider a conspiracy that controls the technological advancement of an entire society to be only worthy of the subplot role. This is why I never manage to make a story.
>> No. 119199
File 134741397044.png - (739.18KB , 929x395 , wut.png )

You sick motherfucker. I absolutely fucking love the fucking shit out of motherfucking Quantum Leap. I mean, holy shit, that Lee Harvey Oswald episode.

Though I wish you would incorporate that magnificent bastard Dr. Sam Beckett into the story as an actual crossover, I'd probably still read that shit if you made it.

Also, what's the other story you wrote that you mentioned?
>> No. 119201

Also, I am thinking about using Sam. I just thought I could get more humor out of a brony. But, then if I DID use Sam, I could skip the whole, "How does this start" problem. Hmm...
>> No. 119222
File 134742875616.png - (312.30KB , 1024x1235 , pinkieal.png )

Personally, I think Sam would be the perfect fit. Admittedly, he does some pretty funny things in the show and is generally an all around G. I mean, you could always describe his confusion at being surrounded by horses, with Al hologramming as usual. Personally, I'd rather see those two over a brony only because my love for the show. Was seriously a work of art.


And here, have some Pinkie being Al.
>> No. 119241
File 134746753378.jpg - (24.47KB , 156x271 , drink.jpg )
I can't say I've come across something like that. So the idea is, imo, somewhat novel, although history parallels with ponies, for some reason, feels like something that's been around for a while, despite what I said in my first sentence... But you don't need to concern yourself with that. Write it because you want to write it, in the way that you want to. Saying "I don't know which way I want to write it" is an indicator that you need to go back to the drawing board and figure out a definite plan first. If you need to have Celestia act out of character, make it so that it's justified. If not, then don't. And all that stuff what with goes into good planning.
>> No. 119273
Yeah. I definitely don't have the whole thing hammered out, and only had the simplest thought of it while in a philosophy class at college last year (hmm, centralized religion responding negatively to someone coming up with another theory about the sun. Interesting, I wonder what an authority figure with a direct relationship to the sun would say if they were questioned.)

I definitely don't have the story thought out very much, I merely wanted to know if anyone who knew more about fanfic than I did has seen it before. Now that I know it's a somewhat new idea, I'll start work and come back with something tangible later.
>> No. 119304
File 134755628298.jpg - (34.31KB , 300x400 , kanye_west1_300_400.jpg )

Ight, motherfuckers, it's time for an idea.

BAM! Trixie ends up in Chicago and is saved from a perilous experience by none other than Kanye West, who teaches her that being a completely obnoxious, self-righteous asshat is a good thing and that she should keep doing it.
>> No. 119305
File 134755644338.jpg - (89.14KB , 363x461 , 75652 - The_Great_And_Powerful_Trixie Trixie are_you_a_wizard meme.jpg )
"Now, Twilight, I'mma let you finish but Trixie is the best magician of all time!"

"Of all time!"
>> No. 119307
File 134756043252.png - (109.72KB , 313x243 , chessmaster.png )
Does she then proceed to make some of Equestria's best contemporary rap music?
>> No. 119317
File 134757482731.png - (125.03KB , 484x472 , Kanye_Interrupts.png )

Glad to see your getting the concept.


My Little Rapper: Rhythm and Poetry Are Magic
>> No. 119339
I can see it now...

>> No. 119347
Sometimes I hate myself...
>> No. 119350
File 134763316448.jpg - (13.20KB , 395x395 , mlfw4019-Do_not_want.jpg )
I think I threw up a little.

Mission accomplished?
>> No. 119352
File 134764491214.jpg - (39.12KB , 400x400 , kanye_west21.jpg )

It was beautiful.


Stop hatin', hater.
>> No. 119358
File 134764924316.jpg - (47.91KB , 400x400 , 4k1MT.jpg )
Hate's not the word; it's more like "Hhglrk".
>> No. 119362
File 134765231858.jpg - (8.85KB , 236x214 , Im going crazy.jpg )
To quote the best rapper out of Chicago, this hurt me soul.
>> No. 119366
File 134765556296.jpg - (29.83KB , 550x325 , 0405-theraflu-kanye-west-tmz-1.jpg )

Stop gurgling on confused admiration, confused gurgler.


But it's sooooo good!
>> No. 119370
File 134765716019.jpg - (43.90KB , 720x480 , Seaponies3.jpg )
And in Story Forge related news...
I can't help but feel that this thread drifted ever so slightly off topic.

Anyway, I had an idea, but I was wondering if anyone had already done it. Seaponies, I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of fics about them, so I feel pretty safe in assuming that no one has ever done a fic with them being the sirens of the MLP universe. I'm talking about making them these beautiful yet grotesque creatures that lure other ponies into the ocean/sea/lake/body of water where they drown and then eat them. I figured this could make for an interesting story, that is, assuming no one has already done it.

Pic: Like this... except instead of singing they're eating your face
>> No. 119371
So mermaids and/or sirens, but with sea ponies.
My suggestion would be for its style and tone to ape that of ye olde fairy tales. A story about a young colt that's lured away from his dam by their singing and is tricked into going into the water, where he's eaten. Throw in some contrived Aesop and you're golden.
>> No. 119375
File 134766198948.png - (235.24KB , 1000x1000 , 65464781.png )
>My suggestion would be for its style and tone to ape that of ye olde fairy tales. A story about a young colt that's lured away from his dam by their singing and is tricked into going into the water, where he's eaten. Throw in some contrived Aesop and you're golden.
Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but that could work. Hmm, perhaps I should start planning this out. I think I'd go kinda Brother's Grimm with it and make it really dark and whatnot. Well, time to grab a pencil and some paper my laptop and start writing.
>> No. 119441


Siren seaponies exactly as you decrided them. Only for one chapter, but there it is.
>> No. 119514
File 134781225656.jpg - (80.31KB , 740x566 , Zrs-4.jpg )
I have a concept that I'm working on, and I need some suggestions here. My concept includes a military airship, and I was wondering if anyone here could think of a "pony pun" on the name "Akron," as in an early flying aircraft carrier (pictured).
>> No. 119519

As far as puns are concerned, I'm afraid there's not a whole lot to go on with that name. However, since USS Akron was named after the actual city where it was built, you might consider doing the same with your airship, but using a pony city. This would be a good opportunity for world-building, as well.
>> No. 119520
File 134781491772.png - (52.14KB , 588x493 , IWillMurderYourFamily.png )
Son of a *****!
Eh, I think the way I'm going is different enough that it won't really be an issue. Plus it's only one fic. I skimmed the chapter and the seaponies are like I described only it's played for comedy and not really very serious; which is fine, just not what I'm going to do. We'll see how well that works out though once I get my rough draft done. Really though I doubt anyone besides me and whatever poor sap I rope into reviewing it for me will read it, but whatever. That's neither here nor there.

Let's go seaponies!
>> No. 119524
File 134781736842.jpg - (1.06MB , 983x1608 , empirestatebuilding1.jpg )
I'll probably go with "Manehattan," then.
>> No. 119527
Akorn/Acorn, my good man. Perhaps something about how it "Falls/Flies far from the tree"?
>> No. 119531
Hmm, that might work as well.
>> No. 119618
File 134787837729.png - (218.82KB , 900x599 , next target is___.png )
here is something that I've been sitting on in the back of my head for a long time.

Six has no name, Six is just his number. Recent events have put him and his entire group of born and raised refugees from an age old conflict in the lawless area of Far West. With pursuers nipping at their hooves, supernatural forces leading them astray, and their own friends questioning each other, the group keeps looking back on the day of their escape, and the sins they committed to just stay alive in their place of birth...

that is more a broad summary than a synopsis of my idea.

any kind of feedback?
>> No. 119619
File 134787959660.png - (117.94KB , 450x438 , 99338 - ask ask_mysterious_mare_do_well mare_do_well Mysterious_Mare_Do_Well tumblr.png )
Sounds generic, and I do not see its relevance to MLP. You should develop the idea a little more.
>> No. 119621
File 134788653072.jpg - (10.38KB , 217x232 , mhm.jpg )
Like Anon said, doesn't really sound like an idea exclusively pony (nor does it need to be). The lack of further details gives me a faint impression of "Something that should probably be mentally cataloged with Lost/et cetera anti-hero team stories"; not a bad thing in itself unless you want it to stand out from et cetera and such, which you probably do. In which case, well, you'll need more details.

What sort of feedback are you looking for exactly? If it's just a "Is this idea workable?" thing, then yeah, every idea is workable, just depends on the execution.
>> No. 119626
File 134789050266.jpg - (82.96KB , 752x1063 , 381.jpg )
this is my first time posting on /fic/.

do you want more info? like spoilers? I was just posting to see what kind of feedback I'd get.
>> No. 119628
File 134789142213.png - (742.53KB , 1280x720 , 106.png )
I never even finished the first season of lost but I understand what you are entailing. I was thinking a chapter would be along the lines of:

Intense flashback featuring a spotlight character with grabbing climax
Main story of the chapter
Resolution of the flashback

I've never tried that in a story.
>> No. 119629
File 134789235712.png - (264.14KB , 700x700 , mlfw4583-1335645456658.png )
>Intense flashback featuring a spotlight character with grabbing climax
Main story of the chapter
Resolution of the flashback

Honestly, I'm just making a joke. I think, if done right, this could make an interesting tale. You'll just have to be careful about how you do it, and cautiously avoid making it exactly like Lost. I suppose that by having only two flashbacks per chapter you might be able to distance yourself enough from it so as to not be seen as apeing it. Really though, there's nothing wrong with imitating the style as long as you don't imitate the story as well. I did something similar with Stoker's Dracula, so it's possible. I'll be interested to see what you come up with.
>> No. 119630
well that's the thing I hated about lost was there were 5+ flashbacks in one episode and not all of them were of the same person. But the big thing is that I would have at least one other person in the group would be in the flashback as well so it's not like in lost where one guy is a serial killer or something (shows how much i know about lost) and doesn't tell anyone. So it's reflecting on what happened. Only like crucial facts (like if the their handler/quartermaster died in the events) would be secret from the group and only one pony would really know what happened in that regard. In other words they would all have a loose take on what happened but somepony might have seen something more. this is where the trust issue starts setting in. Please don't tell me that's like Lost, only this morning did I realize my idea was even similar to that show.
>> No. 119632
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Hey there, Throttle, Sorry I bailed on you last night in /P/AD. Welcome to /fic/. This here's the Story Forge thread, so you're in the right place, but what we do ITT is develop story ideas, so that's why everypony's asking for more development. We here believe you should have a story's framework--not just the premise--pretty much mapped out before you start writing. You've got a good start there, all everypony's trying to do is help you flesh it out so that it can be more complete. You'll thank them later, I think. Also, everyone in here is mostly critical, so don't let them fool you. They're not being mean, just helpful.
>> No. 119637
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>They're not being mean, just helpful.
Speak for yourself, poopyface.
>> No. 119638
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You know, that structure's actually not too bad as long as you don't end up confusing the reader. In fact if every chapter had a flashback as opener, and then the rest of the chapter meandered along, and developed, and then the first flashback suddenly made sense in Chapter 3, for instance, and then the reader realizes "Bloody hell the openers for the chapters were actually flashbacks"... that would be quite the hook if they weren't lost by then.

It's a deliciously difficult risk to pull off, but that doesn't stop it from being intriguing, from a purely hypothetical point of view.
>> No. 119639
File 134789753132.png - (246.72KB , 750x720 , 282885_334867919922593_403332453_n.png )
Allow me to rephrase: Everyone except, the self-proclaimed devil of /fic/, the infamous Ion-Sturm, is not being mean. *That* guy is on a mission to scare away any newcomers so that we can be a round-table discussion in here.
>> No. 119640
File 134789775092.png - (3.78MB , 2000x2000 , comrade_macintosh_by_gordonfreeguy-d58hcmw.png )
That's "infamous Ion-Sturm Sir" to you, private!
>> No. 119641
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When /fic/'s welcome wagon is in ashes, then you have my permission to die.
>> No. 119642
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Might as well mention that personally, I reckon that the concept of spoilers doesn't really work in /fic/, since we dissect every element of your work in order to get a clear picture. Withholding things only hinders us from doing so, unless getting an estimation of reader surprise with continuing works is what you want as well (as I did with my previous works). But yeah. The more we have to see, the more we can discuss and poke to see how much water it'll hold.

Also, this thread's been on autosage for 10 posts. o_o huh.
>> No. 119645
File 134790016633.png - (117.96KB , 945x945 , shrugpony pinkamena.png )
New thread time, I guess.
>> No. 119662
Real quick, if I may ask for an opinion:

I'm writing a little action-themed shortfic with just a quick gag about Rainbow Dash suppressing arousal over getting a little too up close and personal with Twilight.

More amusing in first person or third?
>> No. 119663

One more thing. What do I call the inside of a horse's "thighs?" They're not thighs. Do I just say between her legs?
>> No. 119665
Screw autosage, I'm gonna keep posting... at least just to answer this.

Third... probably. I think first might get kinda weird. But, that's just my opinion.


I believe they're called haunches. Don't quote me though. Unless I'm right
>> No. 119672

Another thing.

I don't like how when there's some foreign power that's a threat to the ponies, it's always griffins. I could just go with griffins because that's what's popular and that's what people expect, but I hate how it's ALWAYS that way. Is there something else I can draw upon? Another nation of ponies would feel weird to readers and doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and changelings bother me almost as much.
>> No. 119676

that's why I was thinking of making minotaurs the group that captured Six and the other ponies.
>> No. 119680

I needed a race with an air force though, so I thought of goats.

Yes, goats.

They have some technology. They had headsets and radios iirc. So they might have steampunk airships or single-occupancy helicopters like Pinkie's.

This fic is going to be pretty glorious.
>> No. 119697
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so when is the new thread gonna happen?
>> No. 119725
Probably when this one goes out of the first page... which should be some time before friday.
>> No. 119731
I was casually musing what it means to belong, and I decided that perhaps the notion differs from person to person, you see. A waster or roamer feels far more at home while on the road then he does tied down to a family/establishment etc. Thus, my very basic plan for:

The Rambling GentlePony's Collective

Six main characters:
-The Three Ramblers
-Three Anchors

The ramblers are a group of three stallions, who live on a shoestring budget, that travel around the known pony globe. They do so without the aid of the others. They therefore have no family's or friends, and while they lead exiting lives, lack personage and identity. These three characters should be from the shows established canon. I was thinking three of the (at present) colts. Say, snips, featherweight and patch. At least three well known and thus easily identifiable characters. Reason being, I'd rather them not have names, for reasons of the theme of distance from normality and steady lives.

The anchors are the opposite, three characters who keep what would be a 'stable' life, i.e., steady job, loving families etc, but very thankless and menial all the same. Basically the opposite of the three ramblers. I'm thinking of having them as natives from the three regions the three ramblers visit in turn. Say, a griffon, a dog and a pony from a far flung pony settlement.

The purpose of the anchors is to act as the intertwining 'glue' of the ramblers. Each rambler meets each anchor, but the ramblers never do.

The ramblers finish their journey, slightly altered from when they began months before, at a similar establishment to where they left. Say, drinking den/cafe etc.

Thus, the ramblers have learned the value of family and stability from their anchors, while the anchors have learned that letting go and getting lost once in a while is for the better.

Thoughts? Idea's on who would suit the Ramblers best?

Best Regards
>> No. 119742
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haunches are the hips, buttocks and upper thigh, actually. Basically the entire rear end.

I'm writing a story with a kitsune in it. Devilish little tricksters. They're all different, and range from harmless pranks to malicious acts of deceit. you could try those, but they're exceptionally rare.
>> No. 119782
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next question.

So the back story is that about 200 years ago a group of settler ponies like the ponies out of Appaloosa are caught between a skirmish with Minotaurs and Griffons. The minotaurs fight off the griffons but they discover the ponies on their recently claimed land. So of course the minotaurs capture the group. Equestria tries to find them but are unsuccessful so they record them as missing.

So two hundred years go by. The ponies still can't leave Minos and they are being put to work by the minotaurs. What kind of work should the ponies do?
>> No. 119871
NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870 NEW THREAD >>119870
>> No. 121070
Do you think its plausible to have a story from the point if view if fluttershy's father being a professional hitman?

At night hes a well calibrated killer with only his target and method of escape in mind.

At day he tries to keep a normal life loving his only daughter and seeing her as a reminder to question his choices as a hitman and his ability to change that part of himself.

It sound a but out there but the idea the exploration of why Fluttershy is shyness pr why she instinctively cares less misfortune creatures. I think it might be interesting she gets this trait from the care of her father affection and care because of the nature of his career.

Just a thought and a idea
>> No. 121327
I need buildable ideas, so if anyone is out there, please at least try to help me with this story

story: after tinkering with the forces of nature I somehow get sucked into Equestria by my own invention, The DouR (Dimensional or other universe Radical), teleportaton system. I somehow fall into the Balcony of Canterlot without dying and am greeted by Celestia. She invites me in, leaves me in a spare bedroom, and leaves to get...something. When she returns her pupils are dilated and she has what appears to be a....oh God. I run to the balcony and jump off. I get saved by (someone) and so my story begins.
note: character can have any name, it just needs to be slightly psychotic, a mad genius, and athletic enough
>> No. 121332
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First of all, we totally have a Story Forge v8 now, and it's nowhere near autosaging. It can be found here: >>119870. But hey, since I'm here, I'm gonna give you a hoof with your idea, Anon.

Allow me to be perfectly honest. The fact that you explicitly refer to your protagonist in the first person does not fill me with confidence. Self-inserts are generally frowned upon, in my experience. But I'll look past that. About the idea itself. Your requirements for this character of yours are: capable of building a dimensional portal, being athletic enough to evade Princess Celestia, and "psychotic." This combination of traits is a little odd, but at least your character has a definite flaw. I think the direction to take the character is obvious: make him a mad scientist.

Here's my interpretation. The character (let's call him "Professor Pandemonium) has already conquered the world and laid its heroes to waste. He's got an army of robots working to maintain the world's governments and enforce his rule. He's completely victorious, and he's bored out of his mind. So Pandemonium invents the DouR to find a new world to conquer or, at the very least, find someone new to talk to. Upon his arrival in Equestria, he is offered a kind hoof and a place to recover from the injuries he sustained from the fall by Celestia. However, Celestia is quickly possessed by some kind of demonic force from his world who's similarly bored and hoping to frame her. Pandemonium escapes and does battle with the possessed Celestia, aided by the Great and Powerful Trixie. The battle ends in a draw, and subsequently, Pandemonium and the demon go their separate ways. Pandemonium, vowing revenge on Celestia, begins to assemble a Legion of Doom, Equestrian Division to overthrow Celestia. And bam, there's your story.

Actually, this is starting to sound interesting. If you'd like a creative consultant, feel free to contact me at [email protected]
>> No. 121333
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>> No. 121335
it wasn't supposed to be a self insert
i just used the I, me crap to get my story out because I'm the only psychotic person I know
besides, what else was I suppose to do? Another Anon in Equestria?
That's why I give you this idea
YOU use it, not me.
this was just a random thought I had in the midst of the other 29,999 random thoughts.
>> No. 121453

Alright, here's my story idea.

In plain simplicity, it's my take on the creation of Equis and the fall of the civilization that came before the cannon one. Feedback and questions are appreciated, but steal what I've got and there WILL be issues.
>> No. 121463
I think this idea is going to lose a lot of its punch in November, when we learn about the Crystal Empire.

Also, for God's sake, people, there's another StoryForge now.
>> No. 121465
Also, Taken 2
>> No. 121478

Meh, not exactly. At least not where the plot that I've got for is concerned. Also, my bad. Found that out a few minutes after I posted the original.
>> No. 121480

Also, the Crystal Empire doesn't exactly reveal the origins of Equis itself. There are plenty of non-canon ideals in the fandom that have been proven false on many occasion. Like Twilight being directly related to Celestia. Personally, I don't see the resemblance other than pure magical ability. If anything, she'd be more related to Luna.
>> No. 122506
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So here's something I've thought of ever since I've read "A Night in the Haunted Mansion."

The gist of it is, after the royal wedding, the Mane Six take a hike on a strange mountain after the train back to Ponyville breaks down mid-trip. But instead of it being them just going through the ride like in the "Haunted Mansion" fic I read, they actually interact with all the characters from the ride's story.

I also plan on writing a second chapter where the talking critters from Splash Mountain, along with Uncle Remus, visit Ponyville.

For those of you who don't know who Uncle Remus is here's a quick Disney history lesson; Splash Mountain is based on a 1946 film titled "Song of the South" which is set in the aftermath of the Civil War. In this film, a former slave lovingly known as Uncle Remus meets a little white boy named Johnny, who is distraught after his father leaves him with his mother on his grandmother's plantation. Uncle Remus sees that Johnny is troubled so he tells him tales about Brer Rabbit that also teach him life lessons. These tales is where the characters of Splash Mountain and its story come from.

Now I love the movie even though you can't legally get it here in the U.S. due to racial controversy surrounding it, and I love Uncle Remus as a character, so I thought I'd include him in my story too.

Tell me what you think.
>> No. 123230
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would someone plz write something like my little dashie but with fluttershy!
>> No. 123329
Guys. Guys. I just thought of something. Why don't we make a FiM-The Room crossover? Best idea, or bestest idea
>> No. 123330
Guys. Guys. I just thought of something. Why don't we make a FiM-The Room crossover? Best idea, or bestest idea
>> No. 127739
First time I've decided to talk about this, but I think you guys may be able to help me out with this.

I've been playing around with this idea for a fair bit, but I've always been hesitant to write it since it's based off of a pairing that's not really well known. It's essentially playing around with the idea of Soartavia. It sounds weird, but for some reason I find it cute and it seems like it has plenty of possibilities, especially since it's not explored that much.

I don't want to jump into the relationship right away, and I want to spend time developing their relationship. I've thought about how I should tell it, one idea of just going through Soarin's whole backstory (including how he gets into the Wonderbolts and met Octavia) while he's on vacation from an injury, or just get right into Soarin and Octavia's first encounter. It would've been a first person perspective through Soarin, but I could try other styles.

I'm unsure how to approach this, and I don't want to make this come off as forgettable or cheesy. I've thought about trying to forget about it and try using some of the ideas for another project not related to ponies, but it just keeps coming back to me. I want to get it out of my system, but I want to get out the right way.

What do you guys think?
>> No. 127740

And I get the feeling that I should've posted this in the next thread. Oh well.
>> No. 129040
RE: Yes, I read platinum<a href="http://bqtkwmy.com"> insetad</a>. my bad. The point I was trying to make was people spend so much money buying stuff and then complaining they don't have money left for basics of life like home, food and child support. I have seen medical assistant in my wife's office with expensive designer bags, iPhones, and other overpriced stuff and yet they continue complaining that they can't afford a house. Given houses were expensive in the past few years but with this kind of consumerism they will never be able to afford a house of their own. Here comes the point of forced savings plan by buying the right house for the right money and keeping it for a long time. So, why would you buy a house now knowing that it will go down in value even if you buy a small house. With rents coming down the way they are, won't you be able to find a better rental for what you want to buy now?I am confused by this though. Rate this comment: 0 0
>> No. 129094
Why does this have to be the ONLY <a href="http://ueolcpyf.com">relalbie</a> source? Oh well, gj!
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