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No. 117871
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Ah, another rousing round of fic bashing, and I've read two of these! Then allow me to let myself in on this.
To be honest, I liked MLD and Past Sins, mainly because they made me cry and I'm a masochist for being getting teary-eyed. I also liked Nyx... before she became Not Nightmare Moon.
But I understand the complaints regarding those two fics, that MLD is just wish-fulfillment and Past Sins was weak in the villainy department, and that Nyx is a whiny Mary Sue aimed at getting pity adoration. Regardless, I don't hate her. Such a cool-sounding name, and she's soooo adorable.
As for Fallout Equestria... yeah, I only read three chapters of it before stopping under threat of war-igniting dick-kicking. Y'see, I have a rather short-tempered friend who likes Fallout, and he absolutely hates FOE, though mainly from one controversial scene instead of reading the thing. He doesn't like pony, nor Bronies (myself the exception), and he considers FOE a bastardization of both parties involved.
When I told him that I was reading a bit of it, he sent me this response, which I copypaste for all of you to see:
Also: GODAMMIT STEVE. Don't fucking read that fan fic. DO NOT DO IT. Just don't. It''s not even hard. It will take you less effort to take my suggested course of action. Nothing good can possibly come of you reading it. I will literally give you a $1 the next time I see you if you don't read that damn thing. It will be like watching The Room if all the film were replace with two hours of a guy slowly getting stabbed in the eye with a rusty nail while trying to shout out tough one-liners but all that comes out is this kind of hoarse nasally braying BECAUSE HE'S SCREAMING TOO MUCH BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN GETTING STABBED IN HIS FUCKING EYE. "DO. NOT. READ IT. "IF I FOUND OUT YOU READ THAT FAN FICTION DESPITE ALL MY WARNINGS AND MISGIVINGS AND LEGITIMATELY GOOD REASONS TO NOT DO SO SO HELP ME GOD I WILL DRIVE DOWN THERE AND KICK YOU IN THE DICK FAR PAST THE POINT OF THAT PARTICULAR ACT OF VIOLENCE HAVING ANY REMOTE RESEMBLANCE OF A POINT. THIS WILL BE A DICK KICKING OF LEGEND STEVE. PEOPLE WILL TALK ABOUT THIS THING FOR DECADES, POSSIBLY CENTURIES TO COME. IT'LL BE LIKE THE CANING OF CHARLES SUMNER STEVE. IT'LL BE PUBLIC, BRUTAL, AND MAY LIKELY TOUCH OFF THE NEXT AMERICAN CIVIL WAR. FIFTY YEARS FROM NOW, SOME KID WILL BE SITTING ON HIS WITHERED OLD GRANDPAS PROSTHETIC ROBOT LAP. HE'LL ASK HIM "PEEPAW, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A REAL LAP?" THE OLD MAN WILL GET A HAUNTED EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE, AND HIS EYES WILL GET THIS REAL FAR AWAY LOOK. HE'LL SAY "WELL KIDDO, I LOST IT IN THE SECOND CIVIL WAR, THOUGH YOUR HISTORY TEXTBOOKS WILL LIKELY REFER TO IT AS 'THE GREAT PURGE'. I'M SURE YOU'LL LEARN ALL ABOUT IT IN SCHOOL SOON. IT ALL STARTED WITH THAT INCREDIBLE DICK KICKING DOWN IN OL' SOUTH CAROLINA. THERE WAS THIS ONE FELLA THAT WAS JUST WAILIN' ON THIS OTHER GUY'S DICK FOR LIKE SEVEN HOURS. THE POLICE EVENTUALLY ARRESTED HIM AFTER HE PASSED OUT. WHEN THEY ASKED WHY HE DID SUCH A THING, ALL HE SAID WAS, "I'M TOLD HIM NOT TO READ IT. I FUCKING TOLD HIM.", AND THEN HE WROTE DOWN A URL. THAT URL TOOK THE POLICE TO A TERRIBLE THING, AND EVERYONE AGREED THAT SOMETHING MUST BE DONE, AND THAT THE VIOLENT MAN'S CAUSE WAS TRULY RIGHTEOUS. THEY TOOK IT STRAIGHT TO THE CONGRESS AND PRESIDENT. IT WAS THE FASTEST PASSING OF A BILL IN UNITED STATES HISTORY, KIDDO. I WAS SO PROUD. WE ALL WERE. THE ENEMY WOULD BE FOUGHT WHEREVER HE COULD BE FOUND. THEY TRIED TO RESIST FOR MANY A LONG YEAR. ALWAYS HIDING IN THE BASEMENTS, WAITING TO STRIKE. BUT WE EVENTUALLY FOUND THEM ALL. EVERY COPY OF THE TERRIBLE THING, EVERY TRAITOR WHO READ IT AND PROTECTED IT. WE FOUND THEM AND WE BURNED THEM. WHEN I LOST MY LEGS IN A CHEETO DUST EXPLOSION THEY REPLACED THEM STRAIGHT AWAY, AND I DEMANDED TO GO RIGHT BACK INTO THE FIGHT. EVENTUALLY WE EXPUNGED ALL TRACE OF THE TERRIBLE THING. DOWN TO THE LAST BYTE." THE BOY WILL LOOK AT HIS GRANDFATHER WITH EYES FILLED WITH WONDER AND RESPECT STEVE. TWO THINGS THAT I WILL NEVER EVER FEEL TOWARDS YOU IF YOU DO THIS THING. "DON'T FUCKING READ IT!
After a response that vividly imaginative, hateful and hilarious, it'd be rude of me to go against it. Rereading it makes me laugh everytime...
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