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128913 No. 128913
# an illustrated multimedia fanfiction/project/parody/ponification/satire/alternate ponyverse -- http://ponymarillion.referata.com

SYNOPSIS: The Ponymarillion is an alternate account of the Elder Neighs, or the First Age of Tolkien's World... the origin of "those creatures which in English I call misleadingly Elves". (Silm p.16) It is the ancient drama to which the characters in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic look back, and in whose events some of them, such as Luna, Celestia and Discord, took part. The tales of The Ponymarillion are set in an age when Tírek, the first Dark Lord, dwelt in Tartarus, and the immortal Alicorns departed the Undying Lands to make war upon him.

The Elements of Harmony were created in ages past by Starfall, most gifted of the Alicorn race. Within them were imprisoned the Light of the Double Trees of Alinor before the Trees themselves were destroyed by Unlight of Unpleasant, the monstrous mother of Changelings. Thereafter the unsullied Light of Alinor lived on only in the Elements; but they were seized by Tírek and set in his Iron Crown, guarded in the fortress of Changorodrim in the north, overlooking the twilight kingdom of Alfalfaland, most ancient of the pony realms east of the Sea. The Ponymarillion is the story of the rebellion of Starfall and her kin against the gods, their exile from the Blessed Realm and return to Little-Equestria; and their war, hopeless despite all heroism of immortals, unicorns, and earth ponies alike, against the great Enemy.

An Appendix may detail little-pone facts such as: a brief glossary of Neighnya, the ancient pony language, and list of names; a map of Alfalfaland and the lands to the north; a map of Ponicéan; the prologue to the unauthorized /oat/ edition; cover art for the Ballantine edition; Starswirl's letters (an early pony alphabet); translations of "actual" pony names into Elvish; family tree; heraldry and cutie-marks of the Great Horses of Alfalfaland; and various other humorous tidbits.

# seeking: one or two bronies (here or from elsewhere) who are big fans of The Silmarillion,
good writers with a soft spot for flowery language, and a big sense of humor and fun.

# to assist with workshopping the fic -- participation as a writer is optional
(but we'd like to be able to discuss it in the spirit of a Tolkien fan-project) --
we can discuss the work here or in a book-club thread offsite (or on /fic/)

# brony artist(s) who are tolkien fans to work with the editor on possible sketch art or illustration.

> OATH of STARFALL (taken by Luna and her sisters; led to the exile of the Alicorn
> race) -- The dreadful irrevocable oath taken by Starfall and her seven daughters:

Be she foe or friend, be he foul or clean
Brood of Tírek or sparkly Ponyta,

Unicorn or Pegasus, or follower, My Little Human
or Earth Pony, yet unborn upon Little-Equestria,

Neither law, nor love, nor magic of friendship
Danger of darkness, nor Doom itself
Shall defend thee from Starfall, and all of her kinship,

Whoso hideth or hoardeth or otherwise keepeth
An Element of Harmony from Alicorn hooves!

This swear we… Undying love and tolerance
we shall deal them ere Day’s ending,

Woe unto world’s end! Our word hear thou,
Faûst Allmother! To the everlasting Drama
Unfriendliness doom us if our deed faileth…

On the holy mountain Poniquetíl hear in witness
and our vow remember, Twilë and Shyavanna!


> Original: (in Elvish) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDcnEhASd9U

This story has been previously told in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion, based on the Red Book of Westmarch. However, in translating the source material, Tolkien got some of the facts wrong. The ancient race depicted in the source material was not in fact elves as commonly understood, but unicorns and other magical talking ponies. Changes in cultural folklore over the centuries, along with a decline of belief in ponies among the later human residents of Earth, can be blamed for this misconception. Much like hobbits, the pony race were doomed to fade into the cute and cuddly denizens of the fields and forests we know today.

> You may have noticed that some aspects of the history of Equestria (the land of magical, talking, rainbow ponies, unicorns and pegasi)
> bear some similarity to the history of Middle-Earth. The presence of ancient races, only a few of whom survive; a battle involving sacred,
> magical jewels; etc. It is obvious that ponies were once considered to be terrifying, fae-like creatures.

> The central conceit used for the inspiration for this fic (as more than a series of disconnected parody art) was inspired
> by "Hearth's Warming Eve" -- in which the Mane 6 "play" alternate versions of themselves from the distant past. These
> alternate character versions may be interpreted as suspiciously similar character archetypes (as is common in cartoon
> re-enactments of literature) or as ancestors of the ponies we are familiar with.

Other short works may be added (but only if there is interest in doing so): The Laûrendalë is a myth of the Creation of Ponies and in the Ponÿeighna the nature of the gods is described. (this is the part where many people give up on reading the original book though.) The Pennyepitâph recounts the downfall of the great island kingdom of Ponicéan at the end of the Second Age; and the Adventures of Bill the Pony is a collection of poems and short stories. The Book of Lost Ponies recount how these stories came to be written down on the island of Starswirl the Bearded by the shipwrecked human explorer Hœrstwine centuries later.
Unspoiler all text  • Expand all images  • Reveal spoilers
>> No. 128914
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128914
The goal is a quasi-satirical epic ponification of the 1st age of Middle Earth, re-envisioned as the untold history of Equestria, with alternate versions of present-day pony characters "playing" their historical ancestors/counterparts. There's room for divergent storylines ("alternate drafts") under the same device used by Tolkien to justify his numerous drafts of the source material.


# Ponyweed (me) is willing to serve as senior editor to try and ensure some semblance of continuity /
refine the existing outline and premise. Am also willing to produce sketch art, but can't promise color
art without the assistance of an artist. Am willing to do most of the writing, absent another Tolkien fan participation.

# Other artists may turn out to be interested if the fic is any good, since that opens up the possibility of
doing a commission for color illustrations, which would also help offset the cost of time spent. Any
money raised for the fic itself (in donations etc.) would go to a small arts charity.

> (parody/ponified existing Tolkien art is welcome, since this project originated as a coherent scheme
> to ponify existing Silmarillion illustrations as parody art, but we would only re-publish artwork that is
> "inspired" by source. Anything that is strictly derivative would end up on derpibooru as parody)

# we wanted to open the writing up slightly for /fic/ to assist with workshopping / pre-reading
the material we are working on -- or participate in writing, if interested.

> the source book is a compendium of stories, and it's hoped that if the initial fanfic is successful as a
> parody or as an epic, then other hooves may wish to fill in the details, in a humorous or epic vein.

> we've outlined the pony version as an alternate continuity with a specific premise, with room for refining
> the premise by workshopping the fic (either on Ponychan or on the wiki, or possibly on a forum site if we
> get a book-club thread going)

Last edited at Mon, Sep 23rd, 2013 22:12

>> No. 128915
Yo
>> No. 128916
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128916
>>128915

Ninny tinny timy wimy ból!

(^3^ "a rainbow shines on the hour of our meeting!")

Hi TG. I was wondering how best to watch this thread
> (of course I just got up lol) -- if we have one or two other
> people involved it'd be easy -- but only if they actually wanted
> to continue posting here -- or if the thread were to be
> crossposted to /oat/ so anons could see it -- do you think
> it's worth it to try that? You never mentioned if you knew him/her,
> but hopefully the other poster from the previous thread will see it.

Last edited at Tue, Sep 24th, 2013 09:21

>> No. 128917
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128917
Also, I hope I didn't disappoint you with my Pinkie Diánbar Pie idea.
> It's actually one of the first things I settled on in the current draft
> because it was going to be one of the original ponified images.
> (doesn't mean it can't be changed in later drafts)

> Interestingly, if I'd spent all this time doing art I probably
> could have done the original ponified illustrations from the book,
> but in the absence of the story nopony would "get" them.
> the story outline sort of developed from there but didn't take off
> until this summer when all the pieces started to come together.
>> No. 128918
yo
>> No. 128919
>>128918 Hay.

> I linked this thread to a couple brony friends but I dunno if they'll have time to reply.

> if you're here in an hour or two from now, I will be around to pick up on our discussion from the previous thread. ^-^/)

Last edited at Thu, Sep 26th, 2013 17:02

>> No. 128920
>>128919
I can't talk regularly about this tonight...sorry
>> No. 128921
>>128920
> That's okay, turns out I wasn't even online last night.
>> No. 128922
Just thought I'd stop by

Last edited at Fri, Sep 27th, 2013 14:43

>> No. 128923
Youtube embed play button
  Hmm, right now TGSB and I keep missing each other on chat, but we did get the chance to discuss yesterday. Well, sort of, we were discussing the Silmarillion concept album, Nightfall in Middle Earth * and how it relates to the plot of the Ponymarillion

If anypony is reading this and is interested, send me an e-mail... we'd need at least three people involved (two of whom are fairly familiar with the original book) to have a conversation here, so we're at least one person short.

>even if it were crossposted to /oat/. And I dunno if that's likely to happen, since I'm not sure what the mods opinion would be on that. It's something somepony suggested to try and keep a thread alive on /fic/

>by the band who did the Robot Unicorn Attack song.* video related, lol
>> No. 128924
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128924
Hi /fic/.

I suggested to Pinkie that this thread either crosspost to /oat/ or be moved to /fic/... I regret that we couldn't make a go of it on /collab/ since it's really a collab effort, and I wanted to get something or someone living on that board.

But since the thread is here, at least I can ask Nick!Nack for advice, if he's around.

Basically, I'm looking for one or two bronies who are Tolkien fans to workshop it with (i.e. discuss the fic while it's in progress, from an editorial perspective not a review perspective) and I can't find any. Several people want to collab with me but they haven't read the book...

>ideally we can discuss it in this thread or on IRC.

>Halp, anypony you might refer me to?

Last edited at Thu, Oct 17th, 2013 17:43

>> No. 129039
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129039
>Work in progress update, chapter headings are subject to change
>Right now original Tolkien chapters are used as a
>guide but may end up being substantially rewritten.

Where would I go to ask a reviewer for advice here?

source -- http://ponymarillion.referata.com

PROLOGUE -- Ponymarillion Prologue 1-2 WIP.doc [docs.google.com] posted here >>38686214

Part 1. Llaúrendalë [ponymarillion.referata.com]
Part 2. Ponÿeighna [ponymarillion.referata.com]


NEIGHNYA PONIMARILLION

1: Of the beginning of days
2: Of Twilë and Shyavanna
3: Of the First Ponies and the Captivity of Tírek
4: Of Hourglás and Derpian
5: Of Alinor and the Princesses of Aponië
6: Of Starfall and the unchaining of Tírek
7: Of the Elements of Harmony
8: Of the Darkening of Amane (excerpt [ponymarillion.referata.com])
9: Of the Doom of the Alidar (excerpt [ponymarillion.referata.com])
10: Of the Unicorns
11: Of Earth Ponies
12: Of the Return of the Alidar to Little-Equestria
13: Of the Sun and Moon
14: Of Alfalfaland and its realms
15: Of the Alicorns in Alfalfaland
16: Of Tripkë
17: Of the coming of Earth Ponies into the west
18: Of the Ruin of Alfalfaland
19: Of Appelle and Flutterén (excerpt [ponymarillion.referata.com])
20: Of the Battle of Unnumbered Feels
21: Of Pinkamena and the Children of Píe (excerpt [ponymarillion.referata.com])
22: Of the ruin of Derpîath (excerpt [ponymarillion.referata.com])
23: Of Clover and the fall of Cloudfountain
24: Of the Element of Magic and the War of Wrath (excerpt [ponymarillion.referata.com])

PENNYEPITÂPH

Of Discord and the Fall of Ponicéan

MAPS

1: Alfalfaland and the Lands to the North
2: A Map of the Undying Lands of Alinor
2: A Map of Ponicéan & the Sea of Drama

APPENDIX A:

1: Family Tree
2: Heraldry and cutie-marks of the Great Horses of Alfalfaland
3: Starswirl's letters (an early pony alphabet) and the Cólth
4: A Brief Glossary of Neighnya, the ancient pony language
5: Translations of "actual" pony names into Elvish

APPENDIX B:

1: The Gem Verse [ponymarillion.referata.com]
2: Cover art for the Ballantine edition [farm5.staticflickr.com]
3: The prologue to the unauthorized /oat/ edition [boredoftherings.150m.com]

Index of names [ponymarillion.referata.com] -- Appendix: Ancient Pony names.

ILLUSTRATIONS: TBA

>or rather, TGSB --
>who has faith that I can allegedly do illustrations
>if I get a new graphics tablet... one that is sweeeet I might add
>> No. 129042
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129042
>>129039

That depends on what exact advice you are currently seeking. If you still want someone well-versed in Tolkien's Silmarillion, you might have a tough time, as I certainly have not read it, nor am I immediately able to name someone here who has.

Now that doesn't mean they don't exist. I’d be willing to bet you dimes-to-dollars we have at least a few folks here who have read it, but just how much you expect of them might be a deciding factor in whether or not they choose to accept your request.

However, if you are just looking for some story-related critique and opinions, I might recommend you try the TTG, perhaps with someone specific requested in your comments. I can recommend morning_angles if you want some grammatical nitpicking. He’s not always a breakneck-paced reviewer at times, but he’s got some good insight. Casca also does fairly well, and I could likely certainly swing away if you need it real badly (Though alas, I am but a mere mook). There can be some good reviewers to choose from in there, if you look through them and do a bit of homework to find a name you really want. If you ask for someone specifically, word should get to them pretty quick (We like just hanging around as much, if not more, than reviewing at times). You’d hopefully hear back on whether or not they will accept your request in a reasonably timely manner.

You can also try asking Roger, though I'm not quite certain if he'll accept and I can't appear to find his specific review thread. Don’t know if he hasn’t made one here yet, or if it’s just gone. Still, might be worth it to ask him. The worst he can say is “I’m not really interested.” At best, he’ll either accept himself or redirect you to someone much more likely to say “yes”.

I’d have recommended Nick to you as well, but I think he’s a little preoccupied with personal issues according to his thread, and will probably not be able to get around to you at this time. You could still ask, but I imagine the answer will either be a “I can get around to it eventually” (which might be a while, depending on the exact nature of whatever he must take care of first) or just “I can’t.”

Lastly, if what you’re looking for is just general advice, I suppose you could always ask around on places like the TTG, or look for our reviewer soundslikeponies (though I can’t seem to find his advice-specific thread either. You could try asking for him in the TTG though, or he might respond to this post and you can just ask him here.)

So, that said, welcome to /fic/. I hope you find what you need.
>> No. 129070
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129070
>>129042

Thanks Writer's Block, for the suggestions.

I guess the issue is I'm not so much worried about style / proofreading
(aping different styles is one of the things I'm probably good at)
so much as I need help with:

* style issues from a non-Tolkien perspective from somepony who is still a fantasy fan. This might be helpful.

* pre-reading from the elusive bronies who are Tolkien fans and are dimly familiar with the book. Does not have to be involved as a writer or even give an organized critique... and since I'm putting stuff out in bits and pieces it'd be easy for them to follow along so long as they're dimly familiar with the book.

* Here's what I got so far: but keep in mind that the first few chapters are the densest material in the book and read differently from the story chapters.

Ponymarillion Prologue 1-2 WIP.doc [docs.google.com]

Source: Part 1. Llaúrendalë [ponymarillion.referata.com]

>Full progress report here: >>/oat/38689183

>Tolkien proceeded with the notion that it was a compendium of chapters by different authors, so I'm sticking to that
>as it allows more character-centered stuff to be added in separate chapters.

* TGSB and I thought about doing a read-through of the book as that might lead
to informed comments on the adaptation. Unfortunately I can't think of a good
forum to do it on.

I'm not even sure the fic is at a stage where promoting it
on FimFiction would be a good idea since I don't know how "literary-minded"
they are and I don't want to post an incomplete fic on a site that's not eager to help people out. If you suspect it'd be hard to find people there who'd be interested in a Silm crossover, then that kinda gets at my worry.

* adaptation issues. unfortunately there's only a few parts I can really proceed on without addressing thorny adaptation issues first, mostly involving minor characters and familial (relation)ships, which unfortunately probably requires familiarity with the book to discuss with anypony.

(or a willingness to fake it on the basis of trying to determine the best fit for a particular character).

>There's one anon on /oat/ who's a big fan of the book and is following along; I wish I could discuss the remaining adaptation issues with him -- as he'd probably be the best person to ask; but I don't know he'd be interested or available.

The issue is that most of the characters are being "played by" FiM canon ponies; and a sufficient number of the roles are filled very comfortably that I have to be very choosy and picky about what to do about the characters that just don't fit. or more precisely, fit a certain way but then you run into issues that can be resolved trickily... and then there has to be some rhyme or reason to the deployment of OC's for the other ponified characters.

For instance at present the only developed OC's in the outline are essentially the parents of Celestia and Luna, in the role of the two most powerful elves in the book. so you can see the need to be picky when contemplating the prospect of OC's.

I don't want to just start writing the whole thing as a pastiche with character names substituted if I don't have most of the adaptation issues sorted out (the ones that can't be hand-waved or dealt with in the course of writing) because then I'm not really putting any heart into it.

Because in a story like this that is told mostly in the past tense (with a large cast) characterization builds from the characters' actions and I need to be able to have a mental image of the character's story arc in order to come up with any original material that either ties the adaptation together or sells the character.

I wouldn't be enthusiastic about doing it at all if most of the puzzle pieces hadn't already fallen into place. However the elusive bits are ones that touch on multiple story lines in such a way that I may have to adjust the characterization of other roles in order to make the relationships fall into place (Tolkien had a similar problem actually)

Last edited at Thu, Nov 7th, 2013 03:59

>> No. 129191
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129191
Interesting comments on this at: >>/oat/38746889

Explanation: http://derpiboo.ru/479978

>Tree of Harmony

>mine countenance whereupon
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