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129182 No. 129182
#Author #Single fic #head cannon

Hey Guys, I am currently writing a headcannon fic on AJ and why her parents left. Its not quite finished, in fact its nowhere near being done, but I wanted to have somebody read what I have and tell me what I need. The story is on my pastebin under
>AJ Headcannon

Look for Morrowisk, that's me!
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>> No. 129185
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Usually, you would be directed to the Story Forge, where they can help hammer out your rough gem. However, with the lack of a/fic/ionado wordsmiths to man the Forge, it has become far less effective than it should be. And as a side note, you don’t need to call your fan-fiction “headcanon.” That’s what fan-fiction is, and fan-fiction is what we do here at /fic/.

I’ll try the best I can to help you.

I was expecting, when I looked up your link (which you could have included within your post) to find a short synopsis detailing what you wanted to write that I could skim quickly to pick up all the information I needed to assist you. However, what you have is a snippet of your story, and snippets are seldom good for anything other than examinations of style. But I won’t be critiquing your style, as I don’t believe that is what you’re asking for. (You can correct me if I’m wrong on this.) So onward with the snippet and I’ll try to pull out the major aspects of your idea that you’re trying to convey.

Ow… this is rough, my friend. If someone more skillfully endowed than me would care to go over everything here, that’d do you a great deal of good. But for now here are my thoughts on your idea as a whole:

(tl;dr: you need a little of everything)

There is nothing wrong with your idea. It’s a perfectly alright one, albeit needing more plot points. The majority of issues arise with the style and mechanics, which I’ve already said I won’t try to examine and fix.

Which leads me to ask, what do you want? Are you asking for a full critique of this snippet, detailing all the grammar and style errors? Or are you asking for us to provide you with more plot points to write? The latter is rather counterproductive, as we nearly always give away our good plots to people of higher skill, not lower. But I suppose I could furnish you with something, if I knew what it was you wanted.

A good place to start learning for yourself is Ezn’s guide: http://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide
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