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130505 No. 130505
there once was a ugly pony, she had no friends. she later became at pretty pone

then died from cancer later on her life

RIP ;_;

thats my fic
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>> No. 130506
At least it was shorter than the Winningverse.
>> No. 130507
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>Mikie Pie
What's up, bro?

>dat story
>> No. 130508
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hey man. not much, just bored and felt like funposting on different boards :)
>> No. 130509
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You need more capitalization. Plus:
> she later became at pretty pone
I think you mean a pretty pone

For a four act piece, I can see it working. I think you'll want to add some meat, especially with the second part in which she becomes a pretty pone.

I find it interesting that you've chosen to take the angle that her life is unchanged. Perhaps you can play up the discordance in the fact that becoming pretty does not give her additional friends.

If you want to go the full chekhov, the beautification process is also most likely the origin of the cancer, and the ugly pony could have abandoned the people used to become pretty, and she can realize the emptiness of popularity did not actually make her happy.

I really think you have the basis for the /fic/ Citizen Kane if you put some effort behind it.

Last edited at Mon, May 26th, 2014 21:04

>> No. 130511
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oh wow. thanks
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