I just added chapter 6, the most action-packed one yet! Let me know how it reads.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.wuifc0hq0a
dw

Seeing as how he is my go-to reviewer (not that no one else can try, but I told him I'd keep him posted) , I'd specifically encourage Kim Fluttershy Dykas to check out the two latest chapters. You can put your comments here if you like, or I can jump through the normal hoops in the next review thread, if it's forthcoming.

Thought for the Day: It is Ponykind's destiny to rule. Abhor the Everfree and its spawn, for it defies our divine destiny.

This may be late. But I want to say congrats on getting up on Equestria Daily.
I'm loving this story. Please keep it up.
Adequus Arboates! Aww yeah!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.3bxt6ue19s
3c
I made a few decisions in these chapters that weren't part of my plan when I started them, so we'll see how it works out in the long run. Nothing to worry yourselves about, though.

I must admit, the season premier was nothing but good for this story. Even if I'm not making any direct references to it until later, I feel like a lot of things I was planning on doing anyway gained some legitimacy. I don't really foresee them introducing any canonical facts that will make me retcon anything I've got already, either.

Discord: Greater Daemon of Tzeentch? Or Greatest Daemon of Tzeentch?

I mean seriously: devious plans without a discernible agenda, horrifying mutations, mastery of sorcery, corruption, manipulation, and literal puppetry? Every time Scootaloo yelled "Chaos!" like an aspiring champion, I admit, I giggled. A lot.

>>51354

>Discord: Greater Daemon of Tzeentch? Or Greatest Daemon of Tzeentch?

Haven't you considered him as Chaos Undivided? Much more place for maneuver and you are not bound by any specific god description.

>>51399
I did consider that. I really did. But I can't really point out any personality traits or methods that he exhibited that could be ascribed to the philosophies of the other Powers. He doesn't try "seducing" them in any manner I'd call Slanneshi (maybe, maybe the Kaa-eyes could be construed that way, but I still think it's more of a Tzeentch manipulation). There's no sense of "Papa Nurgle loves you" that he gives off, and certainly no disease-related abilities. All that Khorne has going for him is making the CMCs get into a heated argument in front of his statue, and I didn't see any of them bleeding of skull-less. All the other things I listed pretty much fit a Changer of Ways to a tee.

I'd certainly be open to counterpoints, but as it stands, I just don't see it.

Chapter 9 has been added. I shaved a chunk of it off into the next chapter, so maybe it won't take me another 40k years to finish that one, either. Then again, I've gotten pretty distracted during my recent writing time coming up with a bunch of names for ships and titans and such. I probably won't even have an occasion to use them all, but it's just too much fun playing around with a Latin translator.

I'll save the best ones for the story, but here's a few choice examples for Equestrian ships: Amicus Magnate, Her Will, Ungula Astra, Aurora Mane, Chroma Incitatus.
And a few Chaos-aligned ones as well:
Hrimfaxi, Waxing Phase, Malus Malum, Penumbra, Eclipsis Annihilatio.

One thing that is a tad irksome is that any reference to the moon in Latin sounds like a direct reference to Princess Luna, even when I want to talk about the moon itself, or allude to NMM. But it all comes out as "Luna/Lunem/Lunae."

Anyway, if anyone else thinks up a good one (or ponified version of an existing 40k term), I'd love to hear it. I won't promise to use it or anything, but it would be fun to see what else people can come up with.

I have finished and added chapter 10. Definitely my most action-packed chapter yet. Literally, 2900 words of straight fights/chases/shoot-outs. Let me know how you like it, because I think it's pretty good, but I can't always tell how well it reads to others.

Hey, you know the new episode? Remember how airships are canon now? I'm aware I wasn't the first to throw in that particular bit of steampunk, but it feels nice to be retroactively vindicated. Also, because of the party cannon, I feel cannons in general are fair game. As long as they shoot something wacky.

I had a few pretty good nights of writing despite the semester quickly drawing to a close. There are parts of this chapter that I really like, and some other stuff, that I'm not sure I'll ever be 100% satisfied with, but such is writing.

I would just like you to know that I find this story to be quite entertaining and that you should not stop writing it. JUST TA LET YA KNOW.

Bro, where you at? I be reading this shiznit and then BOOM it stops!!! Y'all need to (please) get on dis and be writin' it. Cuz it's good. Fo' realz.

Chapter 12 is up. There's another glimpse of the bad guys at the beginning, and I must admit, I had a lot of fun writing it. The rest is moving the plot along a bit closer to the end of what I think of as a "part" of the whole story. There's still at least a couple chapters left to it, though.

Also, my thanks to KFD, who has been reviewing and generally cheering me on since nearly the beginning, and is back again after a break. A good third of the current chapters have been "published" with just my own proofreading, and it was making me nervous.

>>76400
>>71075
Thanks for the kind words. They almost make me feel guilty for taking so long to get anything written. I'm taking so long, in fact, that this very thread has been in auto-sage mode for nearly a month, I suspect because of it's age. Has it really been six months? My current rate puts me at 2 chapters (or 5k words) per month. I personally think that's really slow, as even I sometimes have to go back and re-read parts just to refresh myself with my own writing. And I wouldn't even say I'm half-way done with the story I've planned. Maybe 1/3-ish. It's going to be a long haul.

I don't know what I'm going to do now, since I consider this thread more of a home to the story than its EqD page. It'll be like losing a friend that I visit twice a month, and call every once in a while to see if it has talked to anyone else lately. Heck, it was in this very thread that I learned that making threads for your fanfic is frowned upon here. They wanted me to delete it! Still, I might just put on my "doing it anyway" face and the powers that be can deal with one little slip-through-the-cracks for another six months. Or use my new DA account for something other than comments. I'm open to suggestions.

On an mostly-unrelated note, I just played Space Marine for the first time today, all the way through. I feel like I might explode with the EMPRAH'S FUREH!

For great justice!!!

The latest and greatest is live, folks. It's amazing how much progress I make when I have other things I should be doing. Having higher priorities than writing fanfiction turns writing fanfiction into procrastination, which I've always been pretty good at.

And it turns out that this thread is NOT auto-sageing. It just didn't appear to bump for a few posts for some reason, and I feared the worst.

Anyhoo, check the first page for my announcement regarding how you (yes, you!) might help come up with names for bit-players in the story. And leave comments and/or ratings! I can't tell if anyone is even reading my story if they don't say anything.

I approve of this story.

>>80904
This looks a lot cleaner now that you have page breaks between chapters.

>looks around


Anyway, I found a few rough-sounding passages in the new chapter:
>"Far below their outcropping, in their hundreds, stood rank upon rank of Deep-Grabber soldiers."
>"Taking a stand-off position behind Sniffles"
could use some rewording, in my opinion.

From a plot standpoint, the only thing that stood out was,

>“My rosette can dispense an emergency seal, addressed to the nearest pony with Friendquisitional clearances. The seal itself has enchantments that mimic the effects of dragonfire without the need for a fully trained Dracopath.”

If they could've sent for reinforcements already, why haven't they? More importantly, won't the greenish smoke be a dead giveaway that "something sent this from the opposite direction?"

It seems... very risky, for you to not have addressed said risks.

>>81576
Many thanks. I seek nothing if not the approval of strangers.

>>81583
Thanks. I agree about the page breaks. They're very professional-looking. Someone might get the idea that I'm good or something. ;)

I'll take a look, and see if I can't improve those parts.

My idea was that discovering the DD army was an "oh shit" moment for the mission. When they found out the town was all heretics, they knew they needed backup. They just had to make it back to the surface and get picked up by Fyzzix and then send for help. When the first DDs attacked, the situation wasn't so different as to require an emergency letter just yet. But with the full extent of the problem revealed, their odds of escape slimmed, and the stakes of failure rose from "small town is a cult" to "rampaging alien army." Reinforcements are at least days away, so they need to get word out even if they themselves don't survive. The rosette only carries one charge, which I also failed to mention. It boils down to "before was bad, but this is an emergency."

Writing these reasonings all out here makes me wonder if that makes sense to anyone else, but it's definitely more obvious that I could make that clearer. I sometimes struggle with the balance between implying things and having to be explicit.

As for the green smoke, it will be addressed, in this next chapter I believe. I certainly appreciate your help, though. Would you like me to bring new chapters to you?

>>81694
>The rosette only carries one charge, which I also failed to mention.
Yes, yes you did. But even then... I mean, why would they wait?

Like, imagine you get in a Hills-Have-Eyes-like scenario where you get stranded in the middle of a desert. Unlike HHE, though, your cell phone works; your only limitation is your crappy pre-paid plan only has five minutes left on it---enough time for one call.

You decide to get in contact with AAA (who, I'm pretty sure have a National Guard/Leon S. Kennedy escort package). There's a phone at the gas station four miles back, or you can just call on your phone. Why would the "oh shit" factor change your desire and timing to call AAA? If you go back to the gas station, you've just spent ~2 hours walking where AAA could've been on their way. If you called them in the first place, all you need to do is sit tight and wait in the relative comfort of your car (with a sun shield on the windshield, of course).

It doesn't make sense from a civilian standpoint, and it certainly doesn't make sense from a military standpoint. I think that, if they're going to use their distress beacon, they ought to have used it to begin with, and green smoke or no, very little would have to change in the previous chapters (especially if they used it like right after they teleported).


>Would you like me to bring new chapters to you?
I don't really have a thread at the moment, and you saw the... five day turnaround time between you posting in this thread and my review. So... your call if you want to submit things to me. You've got my email address, either way (mouseover my trip).

>>81827
I've thought long and hard about that plot hole and while what I've got for it now is shaky, it'll have to do. The letter, though not vital to the greater plot, will come to the fore in the next chapter, and it only makes sense there if it was sent when it was. If my changes in the interim aren't enough to at least make it tolerable for now, perhaps we can revisit the issue in the future.

Anyway, it feels like I got this one out faster than usual. Maybe that's just an illusion caused by all the homework that I had to do instead. Then again, I can get a lot of writing done when I'm doing it to procrastinate for something.

This chapter had some parts that were pretty fun to write, a few moments of inspiration, and a couple frustrating spots where I wasn't quite sure where to go. Not many, compared to most chapters though, because as I approach the end of this "section" of the story, I have the events more and more meticulously planned out in my head. Let's hope it all makes sense on paper.

I do not know why, but the thought of FiM and W40k together always bring to mind the SFW strip from the NSFW online comic Oglaf.

>>83857
Big fan of Oglaf. I like her... art... Yeah, that's it. Funny stuff.
I sincerely hope that you actually went on to read my story, after commenting on the general premise. I do so love it when people read it.

Anyway, here's a new chapter.
If you thought the action from last chapter was over... well I suppose you're right. If any additional action occurs in this chapter, it is technically different action. It's actually my longest chapter yet, rounding to the nearest hundred words. This was caused by me putting together two parts, and deciding to try a tactic of the author who is, in many ways, the "stylistic liege" of this story. I'll not spoil it by saying who or what happens, but let me know how you like it.

I had planned on this being the last chapter of the Applemattox part of the story, but I ended up having plenty of material for two chapters. It should hopefully give the next chapter some momentum going in.

My longest chapter yet, breaking 4k words. It was a lot of fun to write, and it might be a crowd-pleaser for those who thought my story lacked some critical 40K criteria...

And a quick note about this week's episode: remember back in Tier's warehouse? One of the "exotic" pets that Mystic saw? Called it. Not too hard a call to make by any means, but called it.

40k Ponies have been done, and it almost universally sucks.

I guess I'll give this a try, though. If it's an entertainingly played crossover that's accessible to me even though my only experience with 40k is Dawn of War II and a couple of my friends talking about it, then you win.

The trick of a crossover is to create something interesting with the setting, not just juxtapose two things for the Schadenfreude. But now I'm ranting.

>>90420
Well, I certainly appreciate you giving it a shot. I have read some unreadable 40k crossovers as well, and doing it just for the grimdark leaves a story with nothing else going for it. Obviously, my first thought was "I should make a 40k crossover," but my second thought was "but with a good plot and characters and everything else a good story has." I leave it up to you, fair reader, to measure my success.

This story is much more influenced by the background fiction, specifically by Dan Abnett's works, than by the (Space Marine-centric) DoW games. If you're interested in trying out anything by Black Library, I suggest starting with him. That said, I consider >>42384 perhaps relevant testimony to the accessibility of the story by non-Warhammer fans. If I do lose you, certainly let me know where.

>>90386
At some point, it will break 40,000 words.
You see what I did there.
Again, still loving this story. Spess Mehrens for life.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.oujag55nl0
5q

This chapter is even longer than my last record-breaker, but I feel like it's a special case that would need to remain whole no matter how long it got. You'll see. It's actually something of an intermission between the first "section" of the story, centered mostly around Applemattox, and the second (of three-ish planned), which will start in the city of Pferdian.

I actually got on quite a roll just last night, typing furiously and generally making writer's block my bitch. Which is rare. I also stayed up entirely too late to finish it. I looked over it again today, and surprisingly, it still read well to me, but I'd still love to hear thoughts about it.

>>90889
The entire story is, as of right now, ~49,000, so the time for a "40k"-related celebration has sadly slipped by.

This was a shorter chapter than I had expected, but as soon as I got to it, I realized that the part I just wrote would make for a good cliffhanger. It was originally going to include some more, but it will be in the next one, which I will be forging ahead on. I've got a lot to sort out yet in these next many chapters, but I'm excited.

This makes my jimmies the most unrustled they have been in months. Keep up the awesome work.

>>98867
Well it positively unrustles my jimmes to hear you say that, kind sir.

With this chapter I embark onto a much more mystery-oriented part of the story, which I haven't really planned out that well yet. I know some things, mostly about the end, but I have to make the journey interesting. So future chapters may take a while, as I weave a web of deceit that's hopefully a bit more complicated than the MMMystery Express.

As is mine holy duty, I telleth thee that thine story is most hellacious. I beseech thee, continue the creation of said epic saga.
-Suffer not the heretic to live.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.a8sn6qy06o
gs

I'm sorry to any faithful readers (ha listen to me, as if I had those) that this took so long. I had to finish out the semester, and then I just lost all writing will, and just recently got over the block. I think I had such a hard time with it because In my heart, I knew this chapter was sort of "filler" between chapters that are interesting. It's the "eat your vegetables" of story telling, something I had to get through to reach something I (and likely you) would find actually interesting. At least that's how it felt. A better writer would make these filler parts exciting, but frankly, I'm glad to be through it.

I'm much more excited about what's to come, so I should be much faster about it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.anadh9uz8vms

If you're starved for action, this chapter, and probably the next couple, may seem a bit slow. Fear not, for they are necessary stepping stones to grander things. One of the hardest parts about writing this story is having all the most exciting, emotional climaxes for the entire story planned out (sometimes word for word) and then having to write all the chapters that lead up to it, and give it real meaning. It's like climbing a mountain: I can see the summit, but I still have to climb there.

Anyhoo, Chief Corpus may be coming further into the forefront than I originally intended, but I think that's for the best. There will be quite a few more characters introduced soon, and he'll ease that transition.

If you don't know (and why should you), I have a FiMFiction page for this story too. So check that out...
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6584/Archives-of-the-Friendquisition

I am one of them loyal readers! I keep dumping buckets of praise from the Wellspring of Compliments on you, and the well ain't running dry anytime soon. Great work, keep it up.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.bv9fnf9tvksk

I think this one turned out rather well. This "Pferdian section" as I think of it, will have more intrigue, and for that I need a few more characters. There's a few more to come.

Gotta say, while past chapters have felt somewhat onerous to write, this was, and I suspect the next will be, more fun. Hopefully that makes them quicker to write, too. Was 11 days quick?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.5la7z2h2ahoh

I was hard at work on this one, about 3.1k words in, and I realized there was quite a bit left to get into the scene. So I went back, found a good breaking point, and broke the first part off for it's own chapter. The next one will still probably be a fair bit longer than average anyway. There's some stuff to rearrange, I think, but it's some cool stuff coming up.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.h8exzm157nl7

Again, I find myself writing a longer chapter, realizing there's quite a bit left in the scene, and deciding to find a good breaking point. I kind of like it though; if I find a neat, tidy end to a chapter, I don't have much momentum. Recently, it's been like I've been starting new chapters almost by accident.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAOt3C_1FzyQXCFhN2SROaEetUzmGku3K017JD_3Auk/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1#heading=h.xt7prs9qipvd

Updates after this one may or may not be less frequent than in the past. School is starting again, and my attention will be even more divided than during this indolent summer. Plus, I have some events in the immediate future of the story that need to be arranged coherently, and that means that I have to give their ordering some kind of meaning.

>>118516
Just keep it comin', bucko! :V

Finally got another one out. It actually started out kinda as boring filler, but I thought "Fuck that!" and added a bit more excitement and tied it back into the plot. You're welcome.

If you're still following along, I apologize for talking so long on this chapter. School happens. I wouldn't say I'm "back" to my more frequent, more regular posting rate by any stretch, given my courseload, but "hiatus" is such a weird word to describe a hobby. So I won't. It comes when it comes. Another reason for the delay was that my creative time and energies were being diverted to a new pass-time my friends and I have picked up: Dark Heresy. We decided to start our first-ever RPG, and I'm the only one with Warhammer knowledge and was voted the best storyteller, that makes me the GM. So now when I'm not working on homework, I'm working on missions for us to run, and only when I'm ahead on that (and not burned out from so much 40k), do I jot down a bit of the ole Archives.

Also, happy season premier everyone. It seems to me that there's going to be a lot of plot going into this season, and I see it having two effects on my crossover head-fanon: It can reinforce the themes I've been building and add more background to draw on (Sombre the Despoiler, anyone?), or it could screw everything up. I'm excited to see which.

Not much to say about this one. There's another dream sequence, and then it sorta bridges the gap to the next scene. If you read the first dream sequence (chapter 7) when I first wrote it, you may want to go back and read it again. I hate to be so blatant, but I added a few details that bear remembering in the long term...

I do have a bit of a problem now, in that I have... things that need to be done, but they don't have a clear, sequential order that determines which one must happen first or next or last. So I'm kinda just picking directions, and hoping it makes sense by the time I get to the other side. Take heart; for every part of this story, I have a clear view of the destination. It's just the path to get there is not always clear. Like a Navigator, I turn my eye to the murky Warp of the plot, and try to find the best route through.

>>125523
It's always a good week when there's more Archives. :)

https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1gPH7hXVeIV-WJjTPdOLNoSYvvPZentOsySZvrsgNoH8#h.61puvi4rd3rk

Holy crap, this took way longer than it should have. Part of it was the nature of this... region of the story, but the rest was just being unable to make even a modicum of headway whenever I tried. These last couple weeks the writer's block slackened a bit, and I pushed through, but it still felt a little thin. In the grim darkness of the far future... I might come back and add details if I can think of something I forgot here. I always get the nagging feeling that I thought of something, some detail or interaction, that would fit perfectly in a chapter but I don't remember when the moment rolls around. Oh well.

Hey, It's... been a while.

I had the first three quarters of this chapter done for... a long time, but I jut finally scrounged up the time and will to finish it. There have been a lot of other demands on my creativity these past few months as well, which was quite a drag on progress as well. I guess I can hope that progress will pick up again, but I can't promise it.

It's a good chapter, at any rate.

Oh shit yeah never thought I'd see this thread dredged up. :D

Back again, and still plugging away at this thing. I actually was going to keep going with the scene in this chapter, but it was getting a little long, relatively, and I decided to intertwine the rest with another scene in the next chapter.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6584/30/archives-of-the-friendquisition/chapter-30

>>129056

Good for you! I hope you are able to see it thru.

Well, that took a while. It's actually my longest chapter to date, by word count, but it still probably should not have taken as long as it has. Still, I'm undeterred. Hopefully getting closer to some parts I've been excited for will keep me motivated.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6584/31/archives-of-the-friendquisition/chapter-31

Still plugging away. I don't really expect anyone to read this thread anymore, but it's the most accurate record I have regarding my writing of this story.

But just in case...

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6584/32/archives-of-the-friendquisition/chapter-32

>>131061
whoa, you still update? cool

Sorry if you were hoping to see how the big brawl played out, but I had to get to set this scene up. Unfortunately, it got too long to fit comfortably in one chapter, so the real meat will be in the next one. I'm cautiously optimistic about getting back into a writing groove, so it hopefully won't take as long as this one did.