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82910 No. 82910
#Single fic
Her heart raced as she hurtled towards the edge. As she neared her impending death, she began to pray for a miracle; anything to save her.
8 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Unspoiler all text  • Expand all images  • Reveal spoilers
>> No. 83072
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>> No. 83077
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>> No. 83078
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>> No. 83082
I declare this post to be officially uncanon for this thread. Please continue with disregards to it.

It's one thing to make an unexpected answer (a tiger named bob), it's another thing entirely to impregante a member of the cast without absolutely any lead-up.
>> No. 83088
He stood on a grassy patch in an area that hadn't seen rain for weeks. As soon as the hot bits of ash dripped off of his pipe, flames burst out everywhere-- thick globs of drool pouring off of Dash's mouth at the sight.
>> No. 83089
Whoa now, Impregnated? I definitely didn't write anything about that. By 'distended belly', I was implying that Dash had let herself go [physically] in recent weeks. Had I been allotted more sentences, I would have gone on to explain that she named her beer-gut 'little rainbow' and the tiger [tony would have worked better] was her physical trainer/tailor, and had come to ponyville at her request. I also would have clarified Bob's hobby, the crafting of cages made from the central stalks of plants.
>> No. 83090
>He stood on a grassy patch in an area that hadn't seen rain for weeks. As soon as the hot bits of ash dripped off of his pipe, flames burst out everywhere...
Eh, OK, I guess I can see-
>...thick globs of drool pouring off of Dash's mouth at the sight.
>> No. 83091
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>> No. 83096
Sadly, Dash had forgotten to take her thyroid medication, and she reverted into a barely functional state in which she was somehow even less useful than usual. Fortunately, Zecora spied the growing conflagration from behind the nearby pile of bushes.
>> No. 83132
"Do not worry my dear forgetful dope! You have still not lost- Holy shit is that a tiger on fire!?"
>> No. 83139
"Tyger, Tyger, burning bright! In th- To the moon with this, I'm out of here."
>> No. 83188

And so Zecora exited stage right, backflipping out of view. Meanwhile, Dash's condition was worsening.
>> No. 83204
Spike walked through town oblivious, whistling a happy tune. He suddenly felt something oddly warm dancing across his feet, and then his eyes grew wide as dinner plates.
>> No. 83206
{Such an act of abject cowardice seems rather OOC for Zecora}
>> No. 83253
>Must... resist... pee joke...
>> No. 83267
> My lips are now bleeding.
>> No. 83305

>Acting as if this thread isn't one big joke already
>> No. 83382
Spike shouted, "I'll save the day!" Yet flames began to move up his skin, and he screamed like a little filly as he realized that he didn't know jack about putting out fires.
>> No. 83383
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Spike paused and stared wistfully into the soft glow of the flames.
"Oh yeah, I'm a freaking dragon," he deadpanned.
>> No. 83388

and i is flame lololol u gettin brunt, spoke a voice, smooth and velvety. The dual truth sank in quicker than a ship with ten holes; Spike choked as his vocal chords tripped over the effort of screaming in pain and yelling "Who was that?!".
>> No. 83397
"i am haxor flame, goin in ur body killin ur life. Welcome to Fry, roflmfao!!"
>> No. 83408
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Truly, Ponyville was a scene of chaos. That was when Masterroxxor arrived.
>> No. 83413
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>> No. 83416
Dash snapped out of her stupor, and she gazed at the sleek, sexy form that Masterroxxor had chosen to use in this visit. She then looked at poor Spike, gasped, and then carried his still flaming body up over to the nearby well.
>> No. 83418
Masterroxxor followed. "Rainbao Dash, eye will haf mai revunge up on ewe, face me!"
>> No. 83431
"I'm busy," Dash replied, and then she flew with Spike straight down into the water. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie jumped out from a nearby trash can and gawked at Masterroxxor.
>> No. 83439
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"ForrrrREVAR!" she ex claimed, stairing him down with a banana peal on her head.
"No, I will not merry you!" replied Masterroxor in discussed.
>> No. 83444
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>> No. 83464
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>> No. 83556
Rocks fell. Everyone died.
>> No. 83561
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>> No. 83562
The falling rocks murdered all of the humans that had been transported into Equestria as well as put out the fire. Happily, all of the ponies lived through the horrible event.
>> No. 83563
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>mfw typing this
From the distant, cloud-shrouded tower of Canterlot Castle, Celestia sighed, sweeping across the wreckage with her sight beyond sight one last time. She then turned to Twilight Sparkle, soul crushed as utterly as the skeletons of of her friends, and said: "Looks like Ponyville hit rock bottom."
>> No. 83575
>You forgot the sunglasses...
>> No. 83652
Just then the Necronomicon dropped from the sky and fired off demonic rays into the destroyed town, resurrecting the dead citizens into a ravenous army of the damned. As Twilight and Celestia watched in abject horror and disbelief, pony Bruce Campbell casually strolled up from behind and said, "Guess we got a Blue Light special on zombies today, ladies."
>> No. 83682

Just then, a pony in a strange gas mask and parka rode in on a nuke, aimed directly at the town. He screamed in his descent, "Mr. Snippy, make sure my worm is fed at twelve on the dot!"
>> No. 83703
He landed in a pile of mud, making a soft squishy noise. Distraught that nothing had happened, the pony then looked over at the little plaque on the nuke, which said: 'Best if used before April 1962'.
>> No. 83705

So he chewed on the rivets of the nuke for EXACTLY 8 hours. Then he slept
>> No. 83706
"What the hay is going on?" Yelled Twilight Sparkle. "I'm trying to mourn the deaths of my friends, family and the world's coolest tiger!"
>> No. 83710
She then gawked at the pile of zombies moving towards her. "Oh, rats," she moaned, "I guess I have to stop them using Worcestershire sauce... or at least that's what they did on South Park, right?"
>> No. 83711
"What the hay did you morons do th- OH CELESTIA, WHY IS WILL DEAD?"

"Sir, you said rather specifically to fire at Will."

...Wait, didn't somebrony just make a Microfic thread like a week ago?
>> No. 83731
No, this is a thread where you write the story two sentences at a time. Speaking of which...

Twilight ran at the zombies with the bottle of sauce Pinkie somehow gave her. As she poured it on them, the Nuke Pony trampled the zombies, feasting on their decayed flesh.
>> No. 83734
The Nuke Pony quickly stopped, however, as the horrifying stench of Worcestershire sauce assaulted his senses. Meanwhile, Pinkie bounced around in her garbage can, throwing even more globs of sauce everywhere.
>> No. 83767
As this was going on pony Bruce Campbell leapt into the fray with a chainsaw leg, cutting through zombies while spouting, "Hail to the king, baby." Shortly after uttering that line, a bad-a stallion in a red shirt with sunglasses and a blonde buzzcut mane curbstomped him, saying, "You can always bet on the Duke."
>> No. 83774
Pinkie immediately jumped out of the trash can and rode on top of it like a surfboard. She sucked both stallions, a fair number of zombies, a few yard signs, a dozen rosebushes, a pushcart, and Twilight into what seemed like the never ending abyss inside the can.
>> No. 83895
Once inside, the ponies all realized where they were. As a small man molested a larger man in uniform, and a helmet covering his eyes, a large sign floated by that read, "Penal Zone".
>> No. 84893
"I'm outta here," Twilight called out as she hopped over a fence. She spied a small vortex, green mist pouring out that smelled like rotten eggs, and she threw herself in.
>> No. 89111
Dash suddenly found herself inside a gigantic pool of green liquid, glancing about to see nopony else around. "Well, that wasn't fun," she remarked.
>> No. 89114
Then Rainbow Dash bought Pinkie a calculator.

Then Pinkie accidentally the universe.
>> No. 89131
Pinkie intentionally remade the universe a moment afterward. "After all," she said, bouncing about inside the horrible, stinky liquid over to Dash, "no universe would mean no more parties!"
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