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89885 No. 89885
#Normal #Sad
Prologue: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jXpLD7WxoudFlDAeVOiBCS8PjMfi4BQDBKfBeqtcLfY/edit?pli=1

Chapter 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rOjAF5KHfcUUncvLthaqZxmSx7FmYtZgoLEJFdl1Xw8/edit?pli=1

Could someone please proofread this and post a review? It's my first real attempt at pony fanfiction (and is incomplete so far); one of its mane characters is the "alicorn filly" that briefly appears in Lesson Zero, which was written off as an animation error by the producers, but which intrigued me enough to write a story about it. :)

Also, for those who are curious, numbers such as "229 BRS", "1 BRS", and "25 YRS" refer to a dating system I'm using in the fanfic, where 229 BRS means "229 years before the Princesses began their rule", 25 YRS means "25 years into the rule of the Princess(es)", etc; BRS being the pony version of BC/BCE, and YRS the equivalent of AD/CE. According to my system, Twilight Sparkle moved to Ponyville in 1025 YRS.
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>> No. 89886
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>Pic is you making a thread asking for a review without first reading the sticky
>> No. 89892
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>> No. 89893
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Since you have asked for help on improving your fanfiction, I highly recommend that you peruse the thread at the top of the page (>>43232), which contains valuable information on the best ways of getting help on /fic/. The short of it: most reviewers use “review threads” for this purpose (see http://derpy.me/S1nFp)

The long: many who give extensive constructive criticism prefer to use "review threads" to make it easier to find stories and give them feedback. The reason for this lies in the sheer number of visitors to /fic/ who want their fanfiction read and given constructive criticism. If every visitor to the board made a thread with the sole purpose of asking for help on improving their writing, it would be extremely difficult to locate and give help to authors; older threads would be crowded away with every new thread that is posted. Furthermore, it would become a war for attention; only the visitors who most zealously "bump" their own threads by posting in them would be displayed prominently, while threads made by other visitors would be left to flounder. Earlier in the history of /fic/, the board was very much like this.

In a review thread, all written works are put into in a single easy-to-find place, and thus are each more likely to garner views and feedback. Furthermore, the larger collaborative review threads (and many of the smaller "private" individually-maintained threads as well) maintain lists of recently-posted works in the thread that have yet to receive feedback. Granted, this often means you will have to wait longer, but it also means that it is more or less guaranteed to be read.

Welcome to /fic/! I wish you all the best in improving your story and writing skills through constructive criticism.
>> No. 89959
Thanks for the advice, I'll be sure to do that :)
>> No. 89975
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Please delete your thread since you're getting a review from a thread.
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