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90278 No. 90278
#Reviewer #Sad #Comedy #Shipping #Grimdark #Proof-reading
We've all been there, where we submit to EQD, get rejected and are told to find a proof-reader. Well hello, you found me. I don't claim I have perfect grammar, or claim to make your story be posted to EQD. However I will try.

1:My choice, I decide what to proofread or not.

2: Only googledocs. Google docs makes my job much easier, and if you don't know what google docs is, look it up, not hard. There's an amazing site to help you, google.com

3: In your docs, my preferred method is if you give me editing rights, that way I can give you a much much more thorough proofreading and will fix any mistakes I see. If not at least let me comment. Add my email "[email protected]"

4: Convince me: Tell me why I should proof-read your story, I don't want your sob story, I want you to make me interested!

5: My thread, my rules.

6: Anypony can join in and become a proofreader, but please. I ask if you join in, at least have some good grammar experience.

To apply here, fill out this sheet:

Fic name:
Describe fic in five words:
Synopsis/ teaser:
MAIN characters:
Type of story:
Word count:
Which chapter to proofread: (Only one at a time)
Link to story: (Google docs only)
Author of fic:

>Pic Unrelated
Unspoiler all text  • Expand all images  • Reveal spoilers
>> No. 90283
Another review thread... sweet. I do have one little concern though...

> give me editing rights, that way I can give you a much much more thorough proofreading and will fix any mistakes I see
> give me editing rights, will fix any mistakes I see
> will fix any mistakes I see

Stick to comments. Remember: reviews aren't just there to polish up a fic, they're also there to help authors learn.

Also, if anypony can join in the reviewing, how is this different from TTG? Meh, time will tell...

Now that I have that out of the way, good luck, and enjoy your thread.
>> No. 90284
It's not reviewing, it's proof reading. The two, should, be different concepts.
>> No. 90289
File 133143365534.png - (102.90KB , 500x500 , Coverart.png )
Name: The cloudy stars
5 words: Gender bender hijinks and hilarity
Synopsis: Star Gazer is a pony that just can't get a break: work is stressing him out and worse Hearts and Hooves day is coming up; too bad he can't even make friends with a mare let alone get a special somepony. Let's see if Twilight can fix that.
Main Characters: OC, Mane 6
Type of story: comedy, friendshipping (no actual shipping though)
Word count: 31,875 (total), 4,461 (ch. 1)
Chapter to proofread: Ch. 1
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BJb_N_P4CUmZKxBIKaZK_zODHxo8TMB0yYA7Iv5NuPE/edit
Author of fic: Fullmetal Pony
Interest you: Sure the Mane 6 have been gender bent in other stories, but they were originally girls, so why not see a stallion-to-mare flip instead? It's a different and unique perspective perspective that I'm sure you'll enjoy.
>> No. 90291
Accepted, I'm on it.
>> No. 90296
File 133143650691.png - (308.94KB , 646x616 , How plead you?.png )
>Proofread: to read for errors. (http://www.audioenglish.net/dictionary/proofread.htm)

Huh, I didn't see anything about changing a text in there. I suppose an example of proofreading might be useful, so why don't I proofread your OP?

>Proof-reading thread
Proofread is one word: it has no hyphen. You also messed this up in your tags.

>We've all been there, where we...
Where typically isn't used to place someone in an abstract scenario, but technically speaking, this is fine. It would read better if you placed "We've all been there" in its own sentence and got rid of "where".

>I don't claim I have perfect grammar
Unless this is a direct claim (i.e. you're are/aren't saying "I have perfect grammar"), you need to insert "that" before "I".

>make your story be posted
This implies that you are directly altering the fics state of being (i.e. you are making it go from unaffiliated with EqD to on-the-site). Given that you would not be the one to post the fic, you should use the word "get" instead of "be" to imply that your involvement is indirect.

>However I will try.
You need a comma after however, that is assuming you want this to mean, "Nevertheless, I will try." instead of, "In whatever manner I will try".

You forgot to put a space after your colon.

>Google docs makes
Google docs is plural, ergo "makes", should be "make".

>up, not hard.
While the "it's" is implied, without physically putting it there, and using only a comma for pause, this reads horribly.

>help you, google.com
Make that comma into a colon.

>my preferred method is if you give me editing rights
"if you give me editing rights," is a condition, not an action or process; therefore, it cannot be considered a method. (As an aside: you should really start a new sentence after rights)

>that way I
You need a comma after "that way".

>much much
Assuming you want to keep both of these, you need a comma between them.

>If not at
You need a comma after "not".

>Add my email "[email protected]"
This sentence has no closing punctuation.

>me: Tell me
Your explanation following the colon is only one sentence, so "Tell" needs to be lower case. Alternatively... (see below)

You know what you've done...

>your story, I don't want your sob story, I want
...you could replace one or both commas here with a period and capitalize accordingly. (Hint: replace both. Your post will read better if you do.)

>proofreader, but please. I ask if you
"but please" should be a part of the next sentence, assuming you don't want "I ask" there, instead.

>I ask if you join in
You are not directly asking (using a spoken or written question) anything. In other words, you need "that" after "ask".

>Synopsis/ teaser
There shouldn't be a space after the slash.

....And I'm done. That was proofreading. I read through a piece and identified the errors. I'm willing to grant that by going through a document and correcting the errors, you are necessarily identifying them, and thus, proofreading. Given that I reviewed your post in the sense that the word "review" is used on this board, and that said review qualified as proofreading by the definition of the word, you cannot imply that reviewing is not proofreading.

>> No. 90298
Psst... I left some errors in >>90296. I'll give you a pat on the back if you can find them.
>> No. 90300
File 133143795139.png - (221.62KB , 1000x963 , adrgihvbrcgiubipugvbradnpigcviugrcipghmricghbn.png )
>Google docs is plural, ergo "makes", should be "make".

Google docs is short for Google Documents, a computer program. It is singular.

>a pat on the back

I'll pass.
Instead, how about you go find something useful to do? I'm sure that there are stories in TTG's queue which would benefit from your talents much more than this thread's OP would.
>> No. 90303
You... you....

You are wrong in so many places... You are trolling everyone here right? God, why and I...

Look, I don't know what you are trying to do but many, if not all, of your "corrections" are questionable due to more reasons that I can be bother to enumerate.

Just for your first one:

>Proof-reading thread
Proofread is one word: it has no hyphen. You also messed this up in your tags. [i]

Not necessarily true. Words that cannot be understood when hyphenated are completely different animals from words which their meaning if not affected by the hyphen. Such words as typewriter, softball, or everyday cannot be safely separated, even with a hyphen, for they don’t mean the combination of their parts; other words, such as workweek, notebook, or policymaker, can be joined by a hyphen and the definition would be maintained because the words are made up from their parts definition. Why? They are a result of the normal process of joining words by the notion of an open compound, then hyphenating it so that people all know what we are talking about, and then just getting rid of the damn thing. Taken further, the first group represents what occurs when people take a combination of words to apply it to more obscured constructs rather than inventing a new word for it or just calling it something boring, like light cockroach. Proofreading is something which people began to use recently and the usage of the hyphen is not incorrect, it’s just losing ground to people deciding it was too much of a hassle. Ergo, nope.

Being clever is something the board enjoys. Being wrong? Not so much.

Also, there are five mistakes in this post. Find them.
>> No. 90305
File 133143890756.jpg - (36.76KB , 1920x1080 , 131053693517.jpg )
This is the most boring game of "Find Waldo the Typo" ever.
>> No. 90306
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>Find them.

>> No. 90307
File 133143924839.png - (273.62KB , 828x706 , dfiuvbadriu.png )
Perhaps you were thinking of Where's Waldo.
>> No. 90308
Why do I get the feeling you are Demetrius...
>> No. 90310
Is your blurb about "proof-reading" one of the things that's wrong? Eeyup. Google proof-read and see what happens.

>everyone here right?
Comma after here.

>that I can be bother to enumerate.
"that" should be than.
"bother" should be in past tense.

>meaning if not
"if" should be is

>Such words as typewriter, softball, or everyday cannot be safely separated, even with a hyphen, for they don’t mean the combination of their parts; other words, such as workweek, notebook, or policymaker, can be joined by a hyphen and the definition would be maintained because the words are made up from their parts definition.
In that case, anyone who has read Euclid's "Elements" is the greatest proof-reader of all time.

I stopped reading after that last bit about hyphen usage as it applies to proof reading because it was wrong and it made the fifth mistake. Also, why are you posting anon with no pic? Afraid of something?
>> No. 90312
Considering the fact that mathematical proofs (a relatively recent term in the history of mathematics) are normally carefully and throughly checked over for any mistakes anywhere, yes, he was.
>> No. 90315
File 133143983433.png - (1.00MB , 2932x2496 , OBJECTIONISAY.png )

ITT: Fights over minor semantic differences.

I am disturbed by your blatant hostility. To be blunt: You're not Ion-Sturm or DerpyAnon, and there's a good reason why neither of those two came to this thread. Let the man have his thread without redirecting him to a place he's already familiar with, and has done several reviews for. He's been here a very long time and has had a review thread in the past.

There's no reason for you to badger
the OP like that. Find the error in your post just gives you an excuse if you're wrong. Don't play petty games, don't waste people's time, don't derail perfectly fine threads, and don't be dick.

When you have me telling you to tone it down, you're having some problems.


I'm certain it's not Dem. I think it's a girl, to be honest.
>> No. 90318
File 133144011304.jpg - (38.33KB , 350x371 , pi.jpg )
Fair enough. I don't necessarily take issue with the thread, this (>>90284) just got to me a little, and I confess, I did indeed overreact. That said: I'm out of here.
>> No. 90321
File 133144032085.png - (143.75KB , 889x931 , Secret But Fluttershy.png )
No. I am not said person. I know I can't prove it. But it's not true.

Yes, I've dicked around without my name/trip a few times before. One time, someone even called me on it (and it was a bit unsettling; the other anon had to have known enough about me, and I get the feeling I'm not an interesting enough person to stalk and dig up information on without some ulterior motive). But this just isn't one of those times.

I get the feeling this comment was made just for the sake of making people think I'm the "Flutterbitch anon":
> I'm sure that there are stories in TTG's queue which would benefit from your talents much more than this thread's OP would.

At any rate, good to see someone else is pointing people to TTG to help out so I don't have to.
>> No. 90322
Already in TTG. I have two present claims (although one was prematurely erased from the queue after I reviewed the prologue).
>> No. 90334
File 133144293620.jpg - (108.20KB , 400x400 , Do it.jpg )
Almost certainly because of my TTG-redirect.

>I think it's a girl

Any more-specific guesses? I would enjoy hearing your reasoning, if you'd care to share.

>just for the sake of making people think I'm the "Flutterbitch anon"

Detritu– ahem Demetrius, If I wrote
with the intent to reinforce a persona, I would have put a little more effort into the endeavor. (See pic or the implied insult above for examples)

The truth is less exciting; Arcanus' behavior made me mad.
>> No. 90337
File 133144342679.png - (20.10KB , 184x187 , Shangbow-friendship.png )
Thanks for clearing that up.

So with the breaking-in derail over, we now vacate the thread and let it be used for its actual purpose.
>> No. 90339
File 133144395011.png - (107.83KB , 606x516 , 37643 - adorable_as_fuck artist gagacorn dress filly gala_dress pinkie_pie.png )
Ooh, ooh! I love guessing games!

Is it... Pokey Smokes? No? How abooout... Queen Meanie? Ooh, ooh! Black Snooty! Black Snooty!

It wouldn't be a new review thread without the inaugural /fic/ introduction!
>> No. 90341
I come back from watching a bit of TV and a 17 post derail? And not a single one was truly the topic of this thread.
But don't worry I only blame >>90296
>> No. 90344
Eeyup. Sorry about that. I raged out for a minute (more than a minute). In any case, you were quite right to report me and I'll happily tke my ban.
>> No. 90357
Don't worry about it.
>> No. 90361
>(saging for one-word message and irrelevance to OP)
>> No. 94738
File 133334814016.jpg - (200.27KB , 1164x1600 , Trinity Poem Cover.jpg )
Name: The Trinity Poem

5 words: A poem about Equestria's origins

Synopsis: Before the battle with Discord, three discourses between the three immortals were made in secrecy. An unknown poet was granted a vision to reiterate the words of the discourses in a poetic stance. In each discourse lies the prophecies of future events in Equestria, the madness of Discord, and the subtle clues of Nightmare Moon coming into the world.

MAIN character: Celestia, Luna, Discord

Type of story: if you want tags, it would be a [poem] (I consider this a random tag) [adventure] and somewhat of a [tragedy]

If you're not looking for tags, this story is a very large poem that has a changing meter and style of writing depending on who is speaking. In summary, it's poem.

Word Count: around 3000 words.

Which Chapter to Proofread: It's namely a poem, so I assume the poem itself.

Link to story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/14cn7nkNGhNLT0hQo5FcpUgUlSoiLKTuuwpoxNG2ojK0/edit

(You have permission to edit I believe.)

Author the fic: Bearycool

Why you should read it: When do you have the chance to read a poem fic about the origins of Equestria through the mouth of Discord, Celestia, and Luna? When do you see a poem whose meter changes depending on the character speaker: probably not many.

And if that doesn't hook you, then this will: This fic has Discord and Celestia in the same room, so something interesting is bound to happen.
>> No. 94740
File 133335067879.gif - (1.00MB , 235x156 , 6RYy1.gif )
Suddenly, random bump 2/3rds of a month later.

I mean, if Drac wants to give this thread purpose, I'm all for it (more so if he remakes it with the proper tags), but I'm inclined to wonder why you dug into the pages when there was a pre-reading thread on the first page.
>> No. 94743
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>thought this thread came about while I was asleep. Now test reported it
>mfw mods cleared >>90296 for not requiring any deletion
>> No. 94744
Probably because I have it as marked as blue in the list of review threads.

It does fall under blue, even if Dracoliat hasn't said anything in here for a while.
>> No. 94761
Has he even posted on the board in the last few weeks? I mean, if he's not active anywhere on here, then I think it's safe to say that we can delete this thread. It never took off in the first place, and I'm sure he'd prefer to have a thread without a flame war in the opening posts.
>> No. 126234
Title: Harmony Forever Ch1
Author: Clockwork Key
Tags: Adventure/alternatedimension/human
Descriptions: War for two worlds begins
Word count: 3150
In the darkest corners of Equestria, evil lurks, watching, waiting. But the time has come for that evil to come forward and destroys Celestia’s empire. Twilight sparkle and her friends form the elements of harmony, the only source of magic able to stop this evil. When a dark tyrant captures the bearers, he destroys them, or so he thought. Saved by Twilights magic, the six ponies are transported to another world, and they must find a way to save the world they hold dear, as well as the new world they have found, from the darkness that pursues them.
Main Characters: OCs, Mane six, Humans

info: This is my first fanfic. I feel that you should proofread it because there are few good ponies in the real world fics, and i want to change that. thank you for youre consideration
>> No. 126239
File 135862497599.png - (101.71KB , 215x300 , 101593d1282522616-canadian-soccer-leagues-5700_necropost4kobf7[1].png )
What the manure. Read the post dates. This thread is nearly a year old.

>info: This is my first fanfic. I feel that you should proofread it because there are few good ponies in the real world fics, and i want to change that. thank you for youre consideration
>Wants to make good fic
>Can't even capitalize I's
>Or the beginning of his sentences
>Or put in apostrophe in "you're"
>Assumes he's going to make a good story when this is his first one ever
>> No. 126245
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I'm curious as to how he found it. It's not in the sticky, and it most certainly should be way down in the silt by now. I didn't even know it was here, and I do more digging than I really should. Heck, I looked up the original HoRi when the thread showed up on MLPchan. The darn thread still exists!
>> No. 126248
I believe there's a Gdoc with a list of reviewers floating around somewhere, almost certainly hilariously out-of-date. Chances are he followed that.
>> No. 126260
File 135882537645.png - (356.96KB , 1316x1624 , every_morning_by_lucas47_46-d53oii5.png )
Ion-Sturm, I'd like you to review my fic. If you're willing, of course. I don't want to seem too pretentious, but if I do, oh well. I'd like you specifically because I've seen you review before and, I must say, I am a fan. I'd appreciate the... well, let's be honest. I'd appreciate the blunt, unapologetic and even somewhat mean-spirited way you go about reviewing. I feel that's something my story could benefit from that quite a bit.

It's not my first time writing, but it is my first time writing for an audience. So I am rather apprehentious about whether it's good enough or not; I'd honestly like another year and a half to work on it, but that's not realistic. Grammatically and spelling wise, I try to keep myself to a rather high standard, so I don't believe you'd be disappointing with that aspect. But anyways.

If you'd be interesting, then I'll post the link. If not, then thanks for at least giving this a look.
>> No. 126265
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[email protected]
Send it there. I'm assuming it's GDocs (it'd better be GDocs). Make sure commenting is enabled.
>> No. 126282
Yes, it's GDocs. Though it'll take a few more days than planned. I intend to clean it up before sending it to you, but work is taking up all my time. I'll send it when I can.

I appreciate this.
>> No. 126289
>> No. 126338
File 135943690767.png - (511.64KB , 1187x772 , princess_celestia_is_awesome_by_enma_darei-d42fsme.png )
I hope you don't exclusively accept pony related stories?

Fic name: Behind the Silk folds

Describe fic in five words: Minor chapter, Buildup, Non-pony, Chinese

Synopsis/ teaser: A buildup chapter in which the main character, Zhi, is pestered by her closest friend, Feng for most of it. The story is about the group of assassins for hire taking various jobs in the late Ming Dynasty China ( Late 16th century )

MAIN characters: A woman assassin by the name of Zhi, as well as her companions in an assassins for hire group.

Type of story: Historical Fiction, based in Ming dynasty China, non pony related.

Word count: 1462 (8204 Characters with spaces)

Which chapter to proofread: The hole entire document is a chapter, just that.

Link to story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sCt3g2I2Xxq0Bpf1B1-B5wopB6G761-HtKnGXheinbY/edit

Author of fic: Me
WHY I SHOULD CHOOSE YOUR FIC? Interest me: Well, one reason you should choose my fic is because if you accept, I'll keep turning back to you, and you'll see some action soon once I start to get things going, I'll even give you some credit and turn to you for advise if you want me to.

And here, have a badass Celestia.
>> No. 126340
File 135944022621.png - (77.05KB , 257x273 , 131083088922.png )
Due to inactivity I'll be locking this thread. OP, if you come back, feel free to email a mod (don't bother trying to report this post) and request an unlock!
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