A couple weeks ago, I posted the following message for the staff:
>I've been planning to do this for a week or two now. I wish I'd had a chance to talk with Orange before posting this, but he's on vacation and I feel it's necessary that I get it over with now.
>In my time as admin / owner / whatever of Ponychan, I've fixed some bugs, resolved some disputes, picked some fights, and made some mistakes. My contribution hasn't been very big, apart from paying for the site. I freely admit it hasn't been the most stellar tenure.
>2014 was probably the hardest year of my life. I love the people on Ponychan, and my memories of the early days of the site, but I haven't made it a secret that over the past year it represented just one more source of anxiety when I was just struggling to hold on. Now that 2015 is here, I've decided to participate in a therapy program over the next couple months to help get my life back on track; this will consume almost all of my free time, and it is necessary to get my obligations to Ponychan out of the way first.
>Astra told me there are talks about a Ponychan merger. I know I placed myself in the position of decision-maker, but I have no basis on which to form an opinion about this. I don't currently use the site and I hardly interact with anybody who does. This decision should be left to people who know what they're talking about.
>Orange, Admiral, and Fen are in charge. Orange has all of the site passwords. I hope the three of you can figure out how to share power.
>Some of you donated money to the site's PayPal account to help with this year's site expenses. I never withdrew the money; I'll leave it there so it can go towards next year's expenses.
>It really has been a pleasure working with all of you - and I'm not just saying that. I love this staff. I'm sorry if this comes as a disappointment.

I don't want to be overly dramatic about this. I know some of you saw it coming, so all I ask is that you be somewhat gracious with your I-told-you-sos.

I've been doing... better.

I left on good terms with Orange and the admins. While control of the site's hosting and stuff has reverted to Orange, he assures me that he's genuinely open to discussing any proposals that the admins put forward, and hopefully a quasi-democratic power-sharing arrangement will be arrived at that makes everyone happy. The argument as to how much power Orange should retain is one I've been dragged into already and won't participate in anymore - please take up any concerns with Orange and the admins, or just leave it to them to try to figure out what's best. Regardless of whether I had the "authority" to share the site passwords with other people before I left, it felt wrong and I didn't do it.

Don't expect to see me around anymore (if you've ever even seen me around before), but as for the friends I've made on here, I still want to be your friend if you still want to be mine. Some of you have my phone number or personal email address; I might be on Skype from time to time too. Who knows, I might come back to the site with a new name someday, start from square one.

Anyway, I wish Ponychan peace and prosperity. Thanks for all the love and support people have given me over the last couple years. :)