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No. 224698
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It doesn't seem as alive as I had wished....
Just to bring this thread up and running again.
As some of you already knew, my characters name is Clover Skull (skull in the name of a pony is a horrible thing, I know, but whatever). His special talent is his incredible luck, wich I will explain more later on. He is pretty strong and fast due to his long travels across Equestria. He is also pretty smart, being able to design and build a respirator, that would look like sunglasses. This respirator would in the end be the thing keeping him sane(but more about that later). He is also very bad at magic, being only able to cast the most simpliest spells, like standard unicorn telekinesis, lighting a fire into a fireplace or an oven, and his mother designed spell, that would allow the caster to ferment brewerages at extreme speeds. Someponeis say that this lack of magical skills was balancing his luck. Yhis disability was also that lead to the failure of his respirator(like I said, more about this later). His main color is green, and his manes colors are black and dark purple. His cutie mark is a skull inside a four leaved clover, that represents his luck that have saved his life in many dangers.
His father was an earth pony and his mother was an unicorn. They lived in Manehattan, where they had a brewery, where they made a special kind of cider, called The Red cider, wich brings luck to its drinker. The brewery was a small business, selling small amounts of cider with a medium price since the infredients fr the brew were hard to come by. Only place where most of them could be found was the Everfree Forest.
So one day, when Clover Skull was 6, they ran out of ingredients once again, and Clover Skull and his father went to the forest to get more. They were used in camping in the forest, since collecting the needed ingredients took almost always more than one day. So when the night fell they decided to find a suitable place their camp. During the night Clover Skull woke up. He had a feeling that something terrible was going to happen. He went to wake up his father, and since Clover Skull was often calm, but was now almost paniking, his father knew that Clover Skull was deadly serious. They hid in a cave nearby, and waited. After a few seconds a pack of timberwolves attacked the camp. They tore up the tents to find that their food had gotten away. Clover Skull and his father spent the rest of the night in the cave. When the sun rose at morning Clover Skulls father noticed that a cutie mark had appeared to young Clover Skull.
They returned safely with ingredients for the brew, and for a while everything was alright. Few years passed, but something was wrong with Clover Skulls father. He had nightmares, he saw things that wasn't there, he walked against walls, and even tried to jump of the brewerys roof, thinking he was a bird. He was then taken to Manehattans Pony Asylum. In his last sane moments, few days after he was brought to the asylum, he told Clover Skull, that it was the fumes that formed while making the Red Cider that made him insane.
Clover Skull took over the family brewery at age of 15, and started Designing a fumigator that would allow him to brew Red Cider, without going insane. After a few years of developement, and spells that he didnt fully understand, but that were required for the device to work, he had developed a respirator that looked exactly like sunglasses, that would filter the fumes. Few years passed again, and he was well. But when he took off his respirator glasses he started having hallusinations and nightmares. He went to a powerful unicorn, and asked for help. The unicorn examined the glasses, and told Clover Skull that they didnt filter the fumes, they just prevented it from working. He said that Clover Skull couldnt remove the glasses for longer than couple of hours, since the glasses also prevented the fumes from disappearing from his body. That meant that he actually had larger dose of the fumes in his body than when his father went insane. The unicorn told also that Clover was lucky to have even that effect, since the fumes from Red Cider were unfilterable, because of the fume particles being the same size as air, and filter that would be able to filter them would be airproof. Clover Skull returned home, but kept on working with the Red Cider, since he needed money for him and his mother.
When he was 27 years old his mother passed away. His father was too deep in insanity to be able to talk about anything else than how he would build stairs to the heaven. Couple of weeks passed, and while Clover Skull was buying groceries, he saw smoke coming from the direction of the brewery. He ran back to the brewery to see that it was in flames. The fireponies got there, but it was too late, and most of the brewery was burt almsot to ashes. But even this dark cloud had silver lining, since Clover Skull had just a while ago gotten an insurance for fire damages and he recieved a good amount of bits. He bought new saddle bags, dried apples and other stuff needed for a long trip, and started living his dream. Free from responcibilities, free from past and free from anything that would keep him tied in one place. He started his travels, that would take him across Equestria.
Soooo... What do you think? Something over the top? Something too cliche? every critique is appreciated, adn many parts of story are still changeable. And when I have time, i will write about his adventures that would eventually lead him to Ponyville to see the Summer Sun Celebration.
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