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458499 No. 458499
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So I think that all of us here have that one story of that time we had a shitty DM or that one character that did something crazy yet amazing. Well here's a thread where you can post your Roleplay stories! They don't necessarily have to be from Ponychan, but rather things like table top rpg's to video games. So I have three stories to start us out with (one needs to be in black text for reasons), and they're all from my high school roleplay days

This story contains some NSFW content, you have been warned!
So me and my group which, I won't use real names here, were Scott, Matt, and Me. We had just gotten done with our first dungeon which was a simple three level place and we had decided to go to the town's local tavern to celebrate. Inside we Matt, who was the knight, was off in the corner getting piss drunk. I, who was a battlemage, was sitting at the just minding my own business drinking apple juice because that's what I had brought for lunch that day. After a little while Scott looks at me and asks if there were any prostitutes in the bar. Me being DM I saw no reason as to not have a prostitute so BAM there was a prostitute. My friend then asks for the prostitute's gender and this is what I said. "There is a prostitute but is hard to determine the gender." From what was supposed to be a simple joke, Scott, who was an assassin, took it up a notch by having sex with the prostitute and then afterwords deciding the race and gender through some dice rolls. I allow it and first he decides the gender, evens male odds female. He rolls it and it turns out the gender was male. Everyone was laughing because his girlfriend was sitting next to him. He then rolls for the race, evens orcish odds elven. Of course after he rolls it we found out that he literally had sex with a male orc prostitute. I then decide that he hasn't had enough yet and I tell him that he has to roll for an std. He rolls it and he got one so on the spot I made up the fantasy disease and called it flaming ass disease and we laughed all the way back into the class room.

Another story it was Me, Scott, Matt, Marissa(Scott's GF) and Harold.
So our party was split between me and Harold in one area and the rest was in the boss room fighting this half woman half snake witch. Now before I go any further, Harold's class was a bandit and a special ability given to him was that he could hide in the middle of combat and perform an instant kill. However Harold would just have the worst rolls possible and always miss, thus making his character completely useless so nobody liked him. So on our way to the boss fight I tell Harold that I have this amazing plan to defeat the witch lady but it would require me tying him up and carrying him there. Everyone is looking at me like I'm an idiot because doing will make take longer to get there but Harold just for some reason agrees. So I carry him there and then before setting him loose I lift him above my head and threw him at the witch, only doing 20 damage and instantly killing Harold. But it only gets better, in the middle of combat I stop to summon Satan. I rolled it successfully and I challenged him to a music battle. If I won I got his golden fiddle, if he won then he gets to kill me. After that everyone was shocked to see that I had won.

Last story. This time around we were doing a space roleplay and it was Me, Scott (who was DM this time) Marissa, Matt, Harold, and Donovan.
We were just passing time and I had decided to explore some moon base. I was the first to arrive and Scott had it so that there were two doors which contained some loot, but in order to open the doors two buttons had to be pressed at the same time to open them requiring two people to solve the puzzle. So I was like fuck it because if I'm given a situation that requires two people then I'm going to make it my mission to solve it by myself. So I went to the first button and I jammed it into the wall, rolled it and was successful. This pisses Scott really bad because when Matt got there and decided to put his sunglasses on the second button Scott had it short circuit making it impossible for the doors to open even though Matt didn't roll a critical failure. So we spent the rest of the time fighting, which got pretty heated, and we didn't rp for two days. When we got back the party decided to proceed down the hallway and we were jumped by 8 aliens. So after a few rounds of fighting, we were getting our asses kicked and I decided that I had enough. I make my character run up to one of the aliens, stick his arm in and tear the aliens tongue out. I roll it and it was a critical. Everyone is freaking because I tore this guys tongue out and instantly killed him. Then we noticed on of the aliens was low on health and everyone is just cheering me on to beat it to death with his friend's tongue which I do. I wasn't sure if the DM didn't like what I had done but he did make all of the remaining aliens gun for me and by some miracle they all miss. The last alien however decided to prime a grenade and it just so happen to by my turn after that. So with a point blank shot, I rolled another critical thus shooting the grenade and killing two more aliens. Everyone was just amazed that I had pulled this off that whenever we talk about roleplaying, this story is always brought up. So this is why my OC has a D20 for a cutie mark
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>> No. 458615
I've got a few generations of stories.
Starting with my father. Dungeons and Dragons, Second Edition. Dad and his friends were murder-hoboing through a dungeon made by my uncle, oldest brother of three. So far in the campaign, no structure the PCs entered was left standing. This included inns and taverns. So Uncle John decided new building materials were needed. And so began a glorious, insane scheme by Moroll the Somewhat Fetid, Sorcerlock Extraordinaire and Evil Genius.

Moroll had troll minions that could, as long as fire or acid were not involved, regenerate from ANY wound or damage eventually. This meant that, when he was running low on trolls, he would cut all his trolls in half and wait a week. Eventually, he found a way to profit on this: spread a troll army throughout the land and get paid to do it.
This led to the birth of Cubic Trolls.
You start with a box, maybe the size of a man's torso. Then you cut a troll into many pieces. Fill the box about halfway with pieces of troll, and wait a month. The troll grows into the shape of the box, because magic shut up. These are then advertised as the sturdiest, most indestructible building materials of all time, capable of stopping ballista bolts, and self-repairing! Needless to say, the scheme was a roaring success.
Okay, back to Dad & Pals in the dungeon.

The party walked into the grand chamber, probably full of loot, when spiders start crawling down one of the walls to attack them. My dad was a wizard, so he did what wizards do.

He launched an empowered, maximized Fireball at the wall.

The resulting blast knocked the wall open, revealing several hundred angry Cubic Trolls. Who then began breaking the wall around them, releasing MORE trolls.

The party's death was quick, painful, and, according to my uncle John, hilarious.

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